Nouthetic Counselling 7

USING COUNSELLING FORMS

LESSON OBJECTIVE:

1 YOU MUST TAKE NOTES

You will not remember important things.

B Take notes while you are counseling

Take notes while you are counseling.

See the attached article.

C See the attached article

D Make the fact that you are taking notes a positive factor in counseling

Make the fact that you are taking notes a positive factor in counseling

2 THE WEEKLY COUNSELLING RECORD

Record basic information about each session

1 Counselee, date, session number

Counselee, date, session number

2 Allows you to analyze the progression of counseling

Allows you to analyze the progression of counseling

Becomes a prayer calendar

3 Becomes a prayer calendar

Drift of the session

B Drift of the session

Record your evaluation of weekly homework

C Record your evaluation of weekly homework

1 How well did they do last week’s homework

How well did they do last week’s homework

What did you assign for next week

What did you assign for next week

2 What did you assign for next week

D Take careful note of the agenda column

Take careful note of the agenda column

Take careful note of the agenda column

1 What do you anticipate dealing with during this session

© INSTITUTE FOR NOUTHETIC STUDIES  INTRODUCTION TO NOUTHETIC COUNSELING PAGE | 51

What do you anticipate dealing with during this session

© INSTITUTE FOR NOUTHETIC STUDIES  INTRODUCTION TO NOUTHETIC COUNSELING PAGE | 51

List matters to be handled later

2 List matters to be handled later

This will help you bring order to confusing situations

3 This will help you bring order to confusing situations

3 THE PERSONAL DATA INVENTORY (PDI)

Factual data

This will save you “oodles” of time.

1 This will save you “oodles” of time.

It is to be filled out by each counselee 20-30 minutes before the first session

2 It is to be filled out by each counselee 20-30 minutes before the first session

● Each counselee fills out his own

Each counselee fills out his own

●Have it done immediately before the first session—you want current information

Have it done immediately before the first session—you want current information

3 Note the specifics of the form

Note the specifics of the form

B Subjective data

Subjective data

1 Even though the data is subjective, it is vital

Even though the data is subjective, it is vital

We want to discover what he thinks the problem is

2 We want to discover what he thinks the problem is

● What is the main problem as you see it?

What is the main problem as you see it?

● What have you done about it?

What have you done about it?

● What do want us to do about it?

What do want us to do about it?

4 BIBLICAL COUNSELLING IS WORK

We need a desk!

A We need a desk!

Use these form to help you organize your work

B Use these form to help you organize your work

THE USE OF TALK

LESSON OBJECTIVE:

The use of talk is important. As we have seen, means and methods are not identical. Methods are the use one makes of means (in this instance, talk) in order to accommodate the ends of a system. Our concern, then, is how Nouthetic counselors talk.

1 TALK IS VITAL

There is a difference between methods and means

1 Means are something we all have to do as humans to get by in life

Means are something we all have to do as humans to get by in life

2 Methods are means that are dedicated to a specific end

Methods are means that are dedicated to a specific end

B Secular systems use methods differently

Secular systems use methods differently

1 Freudians use “free association”

Freudians use “free association”

Rogerians are concerned merely with the feelings and emotions, not the data

2 Rogerians are concerned merely with the feelings and emotions, not the data

“If you simply let a person talk you can do no harm.” WRONG!

C “If you simply let a person talk you can do no harm.” WRONG!

2 ENCOURAGE COUNSELLEE TO TALK

Counseling has been called the “talk cure.”

Nouthetic counselors disagree. True, counseling involves much talk on the part of both counselor and counselee, but talk alone rarely solves difficult problems. , , .

1 Nouthetic counselors disagree. True, counseling involves much talk on the part of both counselor and counselee, but talk alone rarely solves difficult problems.

Talk is like a battery in an automobile: You get nowhere without it, but you will not get anywhere by it alone.

2 Talk is like a battery in an automobile: You get nowhere without it, but you will not get anywhere by it alone.

To encourage talk is clear from the data about listening (which we will explore later in depth) .

We must listen for facts, but not as a “therapeutic measure.”

1 We must listen for facts, but not as a “therapeutic measure.”

Allowing counselees to “dump” or “get it off his chest” can be harmful

2 Allowing counselees to “dump” or “get it off his chest” can be harmful

We should encourage the right kind of talk

C We should encourage the right kind of talk

Not focusing on one issue only, but discussing the entire circle of life

1 Not focusing on one issue only, but discussing the entire circle of life

Stay in control of the session

2 Stay in control of the session

Talk elicits various levels of problems

3 Talk elicits various levels of problems

Principle problems

● Principle problems

Ancillary problems

● Ancillary problems

Complicating problems

● Complicating problems

Do not allow “scattered” talk—all over the map

4 Do not allow “scattered” talk—all over the map

B To encourage talk is clear from the data about listening (which we will explore later in depth)

No “free association.” Guide the session so as to seek the data you need.

5 No “free association.” Guide the session so as to seek the data you need.

Encourage talk about the right things

D Encourage talk about the right things

Do not allow “talking down” others behind their back (katalaleo) .

1 Do not allow “talking down” others behind their back (katalaleo)

Gossip and slander are forbidden .

2 Gossip and slander are forbidden

3 YOU OFTEN MUST TRANSLATE WHAT IS SAID

Often you will have to challenge what is said

1 To eliminate psychological jargon and translate it into biblical vocabulary

To eliminate psychological jargon and translate it into biblical vocabulary

Note how Jesus challenges the language of the Rich Young Ruler (two distinct ideas of “good”)

2 Note how Jesus challenges the language of the Rich Young Ruler (two distinct ideas of “good”)

3 “Sickness” or “Mistake” for “sin”

“Sickness” or “Mistake” for “sin”

Note—not all problems are the result of personal sin

● Note—not all problems are the result of personal sin

Using the world’s labels often removes hope

● Using the world’s labels often removes hope

Words are not just signs, they are signposts that indicate direction

● Words are not just signs, they are signposts that indicate direction

Beware of common exagerations

B Beware of common exagerations

“Can’t”

1 “Can’t”

“I’m ruined”

2 “I’m ruined”

“Need”

3 “Need”

“It’s hopeless”

4 “It’s hopeless”

“Never”/“Always”

5 “Never”/“Always”

4 YOU MUST GO BEYOND TALK

What has he done before?

What if he won’t talk?

B What if he won’t talk?

1 You must insist that they talk

You must insist that they talk

Often they are hesitant and need help

2 Often they are hesitant and need help

● “String the sausages”

“String the sausages”

 Interpersonal

Interpersonal

 Crime

Crime

Sex

 Sex

Perhaps they will write it down

● Perhaps they will write it down

C We talk about things secular counselors do not discuss

We talk about things secular counselors do not discuss

1 God and His Word

God and His Word

2 Salvation, Sin, Judgment, Resurrection, Hell, Heaven, Holiness

Salvation, Sin, Judgment, Resurrection, Hell, Heaven, Holiness

5 YOU MUST TALK ALSO

Rogerians don’t talk—they grunt, parrot back words, rephrase

Freudians don’t talk much either—the counselee is the talker

B Freudians don’t talk much either—the counselee is the talker

C Speak clearly, simply, kindly, biblically, firmly, encouragingly

Speak clearly, simply, kindly, biblically, firmly, encouragingly

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Don’t fudge (be realistic); don’t minimize

D Don’t fudge (be realistic); don’t minimize

Be solution oriented rather than problem oriented

E Be solution oriented rather than problem oriented

Show empathetic disagreement (not sympathy)

F Show empathetic disagreement (not sympathy)

We see the problem even more deeply than the counselee

1 We see the problem even more deeply than the counselee

But we see beyond the problem to the solution

2 But we see beyond the problem to the solution

Label problems using Scriptural language

G Label problems using Scriptural language

Speak in the biblical language of hope (, )

H Speak in the biblical language of hope (, )

Speak about God in all that you say. Relate everything to Him.

I Speak about God in all that you say. Relate everything to Him.

Things do not merely “happen” in your counselee’s life

1 Things do not merely “happen” in your counselee’s life

God brings them about for a purpose

2 God brings them about for a purpose