Relationships – It Starts With You!

Focal Text - NRSV - 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love

The Letters to the Corinthians The Supremacy of Love (1 Corinthians 13:8–13)

Paul has three final things to say of this Christian love.

(1) He stresses its absolute permanency. When all the things in which people take pride and delight have passed away, love will still stand. In one of the most wonderfully lyrical verses of Scripture, the Song of Solomon (8:7) sings: ‘Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.’ The one unconquerable thing is love. That is one of the great reasons for believing in immortality. When love is entered into, there comes into life a relationship against which the assaults of time are helpless and which transcends death.

(2) He stresses its absolute completeness. As things are, what we see are reflections in a mirror. That image presented in this statement would be even more vivid for the Corinthians than it is for us. Corinth was famous for its manufacture of mirrors. But the modern mirror as we know it, with its perfect reflection, did not emerge until the thirteenth century. The Corinthian mirror was made of highly polished metal and, even at its best, gave but an imperfect reflection. It has been suggested that what this phrase means is that we see as through a window made with horn. That was the material used for making windows in those days, and all that could be seen through them was a dim and shadowy outline. In fact, the Rabbis had a saying that it was through such a window that Moses saw God.

In this life, Paul feels that we see only the reflections of God and are left with much that is mystery and riddle. We see that reflection in God’s world, for the work of anyone’s hands tells us something about the one who has done that work. We see it in the gospel, and we see it in Jesus Christ.

Even if in Christ we have the perfect revelation, our searching and inquiring minds can grasp it only in part, for the finite can never grasp the infinite. Our knowledge is still like the knowledge of a child. But the way of love will lead us in the end to a day when the veil is drawn aside and we see face to face and know even as we are known. We cannot ever reach that day without love, because God is love, and only those who love can see him.

(3) He stresses its absolute supremacy. Great as faith and hope are, love is still greater. Faith without love is cold, and hope without love is grim. Love is the fire which gives the spark to faith, and it is the light which turns hope into certainty.

The Big Idea: Love others from a healthy place.

Introduction:

Sometimes we become such a dedicated support system for our spouses or our children that we forget to care for ourselves.

Our love for them starts killing us!

We do not realize that we are unable to love others appropriately because we don’t love ourselves well.

ourselves well.

God wants us to care for ourselves.

Our lesson today asks questions like, what are your emotional needs? Have you taken steps to ensure your needs are met before you attempt to meet the emotional needs of others?

ensure your needs are met before you attempt to meet the emotional needs of others?

When we love ourselves well, we posture ourselves to love others completely.

“I will not set myself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~ Anonymous

I. How can we love from a place of strength? It starts with the individual. What do I need? (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs)

10 But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

Paul compares the transient and imperfect nature of the Spirit’s present manifestations (gifts) with the permanence and superiority of Christian love. The identification of “completeness” and its relationship to the question of the cessation of certain spiritual gifts (v. 10).

Love never fails introduces the section and establishes the main theme of love’s permanence. Fails (piptō) means “to become invalid, come to an end, fail” (Danker 2000:815). On the other hand, prophecies, tongues, knowledge will all pass away because their imperfectness (incompleteness, in part) will be replaced with perfectness (completeness).

When perfection comes is more difficult to identify. The word is teleion, variously translated “complete, mature, perfect,” here with the article, “the complete” or “the mature.” Paul used the word earlier with the idea of maturity of believers (2:6). Everyone agrees that this completeness is in the future from Paul’s time of writing; it is at this time that the gifts mentioned in verse 8 will cease.

When perfection comes is more difficult to identify. The word is teleion, variously translated “complete, mature, perfect,” here with the article, “the complete” or “the mature.” Paul used the word earlier with the idea of maturity of believers (2:6). Everyone agrees that this completeness is in the future from Paul’s time of writing; it is at this time that the gifts mentioned in verse 8 will cease.

I side with the consensus in identifying perfection with the coming of Christ (; ; ). This conclusion alone, however, does not settle the question whether all the Spirit’s manifestations that were present at Corinth are still present today. It simply removes as a text supporting cessation of certain gifts. Whether such gifts are present today will depend on other factors, such as the witness of postbiblical history, larger theological issues and the parallels of modern phenomena with biblical descriptions.

* 13:10 A quite helpful bibliography on all three views can be found in Ruthven 1993:138. On the lack of historical evidence for the alleged cessation of prophecy, see Shogren 1997.

Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 253–254.

11 When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

When I was a child … when I became a man does not focus on the slow maturation process (contra Murphy-O’Connor, Snyder) but highlights the two stages, childhood and adulthood. The comparison therefore is not to emphasize the Corinthians’ self-centered immaturity and lack of love (contra Thiselton) but to correct the mistaken realized eschatology that had led them to emphasize spectacular and revelatory ministries of the Spirit as evidence that the fullness of the kingdom had already come at Corinth (4:8).

need? (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) ;

What they failed to realize was that the whole present age is, in comparison to the age to come, a mere passing, incomplete, partial revelation and knowledge stage, like the time of childhood. Not now but in the coming age there will be fullness of knowledge (adult); now (child) our best understanding is like kindergarten understanding. Therefore what are required now are humility and love, two character qualities lacking in the Corinthians’ tendency toward pride in revealed knowledge and status-seeking in Spirit expressions without seeking the benefit of the community above all else.

Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 254–255.

12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), .;

This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.

Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), .

A. Physiological -This is the most basic level of needs according to Abraham Maslow.

B. Safety -We will pursue our safety next. C.Love/Belonging-When our physiological needs are met and we feel safe, we can begin to consider and explore the possibility of love and belonging. D. Esteem - Love and belonging have a direct impact upon our self-esteem, and our self- esteem is essential for us to become the best version of ourselves possible. E. Self-Actualization - Self-Actualization is the experience of fulfilling our purposes in life.

to consider and explore the possibility of love and belonging. D. Esteem - Love and belonging have a direct impact upon our self-esteem, and our self- esteem is essential for us to become the best version of ourselves possible. E. Self-Actualization - Self-Actualization is the experience of fulfilling our purposes in life.

esteem is essential for us to become the best version of ourselves possible. E. Self-Actualization - Self-Actualization is the experience of fulfilling our purposes in

II. How can I get what I need? Let’s explore The Five Love Languages1.1 Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled The Five Love Languages. In this book, he shares that there is a rhythm and a code of sorts, to how we as human desire to be loved. Each person has a love language and knowing our love language can helps us teach others how to better demonstrate their love for us. 12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face (v. 12). Corinth was known for its highly polished bronze mirrors, which, while lacking the sharp images given by our coated glass mirrors, could provide a fair reflected image. In this second illustration Paul compares the indirect, imperfect image we see in the mirror (our present experience in this age) with the direct, complete, clear knowledge of God and his truth (face to face) that we will experience at the resurrection and beyond.

The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: 1 Corinthians The Permanence of Love (13:8–13)

Now I know in part. Again, in this third illustration Paul states that his best knowledge of God now is partial. We do have true truth now, but it is incomplete. We do not have the full picture yet. We know enough now to unconditionally trust God, to follow him faithfully, and to have hope kindled brightly in us, based on God’s promises. But we need humility given the limited knowledge God has revealed and our only partial grasp of it. Even Paul admitted to his partial understanding (4:3–5). How much more should I disclaim that my understanding or my group’s knowledge of God is the truth of his revelation, the norm to which others should conform? “Knowledge puffs up while love builds up. Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. But whoever loves God is known by God” (8:1–3 TNIV). This latter thought is picked up by Paul in the second part of 13:12.

Then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. This refers to the glorious future event of Christ’s return, the judgment of the world, the resurrection and the inauguration of God’s eternal kingdom. Again, in this third illustration, partial knowledge now (this age) is superseded by complete, full knowledge. The comparison focuses on God’s elective, personal and full knowledge of us as his children now as the norm for our understanding of God in the future eschaton. Those who love God are his elect (Rom 8:28; 1 Cor 8:3). They are known fully, savingly, personally and everlastingly by God.

Our focus now should be on God’s knowledge of us, not on our knowledge of him (as important as that is in its proper context). To know that we are known by God, personally, savingly, completely, is the greatest knowledge, surpassing all other knowledge as the light of our sun surpasses all other lights. “Because the sun rises, all lights go out” (Karl Barth, quoted in 1993:147).

life.

Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 255.

A. Words of Affirmation-Some people must hear it!Words of affirmation can transition a person from a place of complete estrangement to unwavering commitment and love.

B. Quality Time - Make time for me! How many times have we failed at authentic relationship, because we wouldn’t spend time with the person?

C. Receiving Gifts - Did you buy me something? Some people equate the experience of receiving gifts to the demonstration of your love.

D.Acts of Service – “Love is what it does.” ~ Anonymous Actions have and always will speak louder than words for some people.

E. Physical Touch - A hug goes a long way. Some people need human contact and connection to feel loved and appreciated.

III. What will facilitate lasting changes and transformation in my love life?

13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), .

But the greatest of these is love. Why is love greater than faith and hope, as well as all the gifts of the Spirit? Several answers may be given.

1. Love, if it never ends but always remains (vv. 8, 13), must be superior to those Christian qualities that are fulfilled at the eschaton. Love, after all, is the nature of God (); faith and hope are merely human Christian character traits.

2. All the manifestations of the Spirit need love to have any Christian value (). Faith and hope are important features of our life too, but they do not touch everything else the way Christian love does ().

3. Love binds the community together and therefore will continue into the new age and into eternity as the church itself continues forever ().

4. One further possibility is presented by a contemporary commentator. Faith, hope and love are repeated a number of times in Paul’s writings, so the phrase may be seen as a tradition, a preformed triad of theological virtues in the early church (; ; ; ; etc.). The adjective meizōn (greatest) is a comparative (“greater”) that is normally rendered as a superlative (“greatest”). But if we retain the comparative sense and take these as a genitive of comparison, then the sense is “Faith, hope, and love remain [the Christian triad], but the greater than these [human virtues] is the love [of God as seen in Jesus Christ].” This would be a “note of unexpected climax” as Paul appeals to what has no doubt been at the center of his thought throughout the passage, God’s unimaginable love for us through Christ (R. Martin 1984:55).

While Paul could probably heartily agree with the theology of this fourth view, it seems to be a stretch to see the love at the end of the poem to be different from the Christian love presented throughout.

Thus love is the greatest because all the Christian virtues and ministries of the Spirit depend on it for their validity, it lasts for eternity, it binds the Christian community together now and eternally, and it is the nature of God as revealed in Jesus Christ.

Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 257–258.

A. Love others from a place of strength.

B. Set clear boundaries for yourself and others.

C. If your trust is shattered and you are still hurt from negative past experiences, wait before you get into another relationship.

before you get into another relationship.

D.Know your love language and aim to know the love languages of others to create authentic connection and mutually fulfilling relationships.

authentic connection and mutually fulfilling relationships.

E. Pray and ask God for guidance before you make any decision, especially relationship decisions.

decisions.

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”

~ James Baldwin

Apply It! W.I.I.F.M.? (What’s In It For ME?)

How might I exercise the principles from today’s lesson to build better relationships?

So what is this Christian love? James Denney quotes a source that seems to get to the very heart of the issue by saying that this love “is the identification of ourselves with God’s interests in others” (James Denney 1911:161). Love is what God in Christ has shown and done for “others” in their hopeless plight as sinners (R. Martin 1984:56). Love makes God’s interests in the other our own interests.

Alan F. Johnson, 1 Corinthians, vol. 7, The IVP New Testament Commentary Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 258.