Relationship Revolution - Part 4 - Restoring Broken Relationships

Review

Review the relationship paradigm with God, two or three, and Peter’s revelation of Jesus’s relationship.

The Key to Restoration

Our power to choose is our power to change!

Stop trying to take power over your spouse; take power over yourself. You have the power to choose and the power to choose is the power to change. "...Love, power, and a spirit of self-control.”

But I’m afraid I can’t do that! Really?

"...Love, power, and a spirit of self-control.”

Matthew 18:21–24 NLT

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! 23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.

10,000 Talents

1 Talent = 6,000 Denari

1 Denari = 1 Day’s Wages

10,000 Talents - 164 Year’s Wages

Matthew 18:25–28 LEB

25 And because he did not have enough to repay it, the master ordered him to be sold, and his wife and his children and everything that he had, and to be repaid. 26 Then the slave threw himself to the ground and began to do obeisance to him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay back everything to you!’ 27 So the master of that slave, because he had compassion, released him and forgave him the loan. 28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and taking hold of him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back everything that you owe!’

87.81 σύνδουλος, ου m: one who is a fellow slave or a slave alongside another slave—‘fellow slave.’

In some languages there is a very strong negative connotation in any word meaning ‘slave,’ for it may suggest ‘vile person’ or even ‘foreigner,’ since in a number of areas only foreigners were made slaves.

Louw, J. P., & Nida, E. A. (1996). Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament: based on semantic domains (electronic ed. of the 2nd edition., Vol. 1, pp. 740–741). New York: United Bible Societies.

What you’ve done to the least of these...

100 Denarii?

1 Denarii = 1 Day’s Wages

100 Denarii = Just over 3 Month’s Wages

Matthew 18:28–35 LEB

28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and taking hold of him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back everything that you owe!’ 29 Then his fellow slave threw himself to the ground and began to implore him, saying, ‘Be patient with me and I will repay you!’ 30 But he did not want to, but rather he went and threw him into prison until he would repay what was owed. 31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were extremely distressed, and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘Wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you implored me! 33 Should you not also have shown mercy to your fellow slave as I also showed mercy to you?’ 34 And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the merciless jailers until he would repay everything that was owed. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from your hearts!”

Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Greek (New Testament) 991 βασανιστής

991 βασανιστής (basanistēs), οῦ (ou), ὁ (ho): n.masc.; ≡ Str 930; TDNT 1.561—LN 37.126 prison guard, torturer, jailer who tortures (Mt 18:34+)

Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Greek (New Testament) 992 βάσανος

992 βάσανος (basanos), ου (ou), ἡ (hē): n.fem.; ≡ Str 931; TDNT 1.561—LN 24.90 torment, torture, severe pain (Mt 4:24; Lk 16:23, 28+)

Unforgiveness Brings Torment, Sickness, and Even Death

Matthew 5:21–26 NLT

21 “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. 23 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 25 “When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.

Our power to choose is our power to change!

Luke 10:25–27 LEB

25 And behold, a certain legal expert stood up to test him, saying, “Teacher, what must I do so that I will inherit eternal life?” 26 And he said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered and said, “You shall love the Lord your God from all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

In Luke 27 he is actually quoting Leviticus 19:18.

Leviticus 19:18 LEB

18 You shall not seek vengeance, and you shall not harbor a grudge against your fellow citizens; and you shall love your neighbor like yourself; I am Yahweh.

Luke 10:28–29 LEB

28 And he said to him, “You have answered correctly. Do this and you will live.” 29 But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

You’re either justified by grace, or you’re not justified at all in God’s economy.

Luke 10:30–37 NLT

30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. 31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. 33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’ 36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. 37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

Was it his words, or his actions? Did he say, “Let me pray about it.” “ GO AND DO”

Leviticus 19:18 AMP

18 You shall not take revenge or bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Galatians 6:10 NLT

10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

Anger is inevitable, and in itself, it not sin. But it must be ruled over by your spirit.

2 Corinthians 5:16–21 NLT

16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

We have been given the ministry of reconciliation.

Our power to choose is our power to change!

Hebrews 12:14 LEB

14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.

Romans 12:17–21 AMP

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord. 20 But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. 21 Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.

“as it depends on you” is your part to play in peace and restoration; however, when you do your part, you can still pray that God will do His part. What limits you and I does not limit God! Remember Proverbs 16:7.

Proverbs 16:7 NKJV

7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Ephesians 4:26 NLT

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

Forgiveness is a CHOICE, not a FEELING.

Our power to choose is our power to change!

6 Steps to Restoration

Step One

Acknowledge the Good in One Another

Philippians 4:8 AMP

8 For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

This leads us to step two.

Step Two

Recall the Good Memories

If you are constantly rehearsing your bad memories or your spouses short-comings; there is very little hope that your marriage will improve. You are hard-wiring your brain for failure.

Step Three

Acknowledge Painful Memories and Experiences

This isn’t just Pollyanna, pie-in-the-sky ignoring our problems. We acknowledge our feelings; we choose not to focus on them and allow them to override our will. (Our power to choose is our power to change!)

Our power to choose is our power to change!

Step Four

Forgive from the Heart

But I don’t “feel” like choosing… START BOSTON VIDEO NOW

According to the prophet Boston: It’s “More Than a Feeling”.

Our power to choose is our power to change!

Step Five

Commit to Live Together in Christian Love

Acknowledge God in your relationship, don’t hide in shame, invite Him into your nasty, unloving feelings and your petty and selfish arguments.

Pray 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for 30 days

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 NLT

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Step Six

Make a Commitment Toward One Another

Our power to change!

Step Seven

Bless One Another