Finding Forgiveness...

God expects believers to forgive others in the way that He forgave them.

Therefore we should define forgiveness between ourselves and other people the way God defined it in forgiving us. God forgiveness for Christians is the model He expects Christians to live out. We find this principle stated more than once in the Scriptures.Jesus included this point in what’s commonly known as the “Lord’s Prayer”. "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” () Paul stressed this in both Ephesians and Colossians. "And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” () "bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.” () So we seek to understand how God forgives us as our basis for seeking to forgive others.

HOW GOD FORGIVES.

We all have needed God’s forgiveness because everyone has offended God. The Bible tells us that God placed our ancestors, Adam and Eve, in a perfect creation. Adam and Eve were God’s special representatives, and they were given responsibility over what God had created. Sadly, Adam and Eve rebelled against God and ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. When they did, they destroyed their relationship with God, both for themselves and for all of humanity. Now all are born sinners and all choose to sin. It gets worse. The Bible teaches that there is a penalty for sin and that the penalty must be paid. The penalty for sin is the wrath of God, everlasting hell.

It sounds so blunt to say it that way. But this is the truth of the Word of God. Most of us tend to compare ourselves to other people. Comparing y that standard, we may not seem so bad. But we are not accountable to measure up to other people. We answer to a perfectly holy and just God. And we have all offended His standard in a way that we can never hope to repair through our own goodness. So how God forgives becomes the most important truth that any human being ever considers. Here’s a summary of what God’s forgiveness is like.

HIS FORGIVENESS IS GRACIOUS BUT NOT FREE

It’s only by grace that a person is saved. What I mean is that salvation rests entirely on the unmerited favor of God. Forgiveness is a gift that God graciously offers us. "For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast.” ()

I could pastor for a million years, and it would get me no closer to being forgiven by God. I am forgiven only by grace. God’s forgiveness to me is a gift. Did God offer me this gift because He saw that I had a small seed of goodness or potential? Not at all. Forgiveness is a gift motivated by the love of the One true God. You have to grasp this verse: "But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us,” ()

So, motivated by love, God graciously offers the gift of forgiveness. Though offered as a gift, it was at a high cost to God, that this gift was purchased. Our salvation was purchased at the expense of the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” () The word “propitiation” means a wrath absorbing sacrifice”. The only way anyone can be forgiven is for Christ to pay the penalty. Forgiveness is not free. Christ suffered in our place.

RECAP· Motivated by love, God offers forgiveness graciously. · God wraps the salvation as a gift and offers it.· The gift was purchased by the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

FORGIVENESS IS CONDITIONAL.

Only those who repent and believe are saved. Now we know that all people are not saved. Only those who repent and believe the gospel. We receive forgiveness by turning away from sin (in repentance) and turning to Christ believing in what He did at the cross (faith in Christ alone). “testifying to Jews, and also to Greeks, repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.” () Paul used both terms. We must turn to God in repentance and we must have faith in our Lord Jesus. The way to open God’s forgiveness package is through repentance and faith.

GOD’S FORGIVENESS IS A COMMITMENT.

God forgives us graciously.

He’s motivated by love.

He offers forgiveness as a gift (an expensive gift).

Not everyone is forgiven (only those who repent and believe the gospel are saved).

Next we see God’s commitment to those He forgives. The most common word for forgiveness in the bible is the Greek word aphíēmiἀφίημιf; ἄφεσιςa, εως f; ἀπολύωe: to remove the guilt resulting from wrongdoing—‘to pardon, to forgive, forgiveness.’ἀφίημιf : ἄφες ἡμῖν τὰ ὀφειλήματα ἡμῶν ‘forgive us the wrongs that we have done’ .ἄφεσιςa: τὸ αἷμά μου … τὸ περὶ πολλῶν ἐκχυννόμενον εἰς ἄφεσιν ἁμαρτιῶν ‘my blood … which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins’ .ἀπολύωe: ἀπολύετε, καὶ ἀπολυθήσεσθε ‘forgive and you will be forgiven (by God)’ .[1] When God forgives, He commits or promises that He will no longer hold the sin against the person being forgiven. If we put our faith and trust in Christ, then we are “justified” (; ), declared to be righteous. God makes a legal declaration that we are no longer condemned for our sin. Jesus pays the penalty for our sin and we are credited with Christ’s righteousness.

FORGIVENESS LAYS THE GROUNDWORK FOR AND BEGINS THE PROCESS OF RECONCILIATION.

God’s forgiveness is completely linked to reconciliation. No one is forgiven by God without being reconciled to God. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” ()

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN THE ELIMINATION OF ALL CONSEQUENCES.

If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, then you are saved (). As far as east is from the west, so far does God remove your sin (). There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (). However, there are some consequences on this side of heaven because of our rebellion against God. For example: David and Bathsheba. God used Nathan the prophet to confront David (), the king realized the magnitude of his sin and was truly repentant, and Nathan told David that God would forgive him for his sin (). Then came the consequences:· Violence among his family, 12:10.· The baby would die, 12:14.· Amnon (his son) raped David’s daughter, .· Absalom (another son) killed Amnon, .· Absalom attempted to take over David’s kingdom, .The reality of consequences shows us that God disciplines His own not for the purpose of punishing them but for His glory and for their joy in the future. These consequences are not punishments but are God teaching tools for how He trains us!

SUMMARY.

& God’s forgiveness is gracious. He offers forgiveness freely. This is not because forgiveness is free in terms of cost. It’s offered freely because, motivated by love, God sent His one and only Son to pay the price for it. & God forgiveness is a commitment. When God forgives us, he makes a commitment that we are pardoned from our sin and that it is no longer counted against us. & God’s forgiveness lays the groundwork for and begins the process of reconciliation. When God forgives us, our relationship with Him is restored. & Not all consequences are immediately eliminated. God disciplines His children as a father disciplines his children ().

[1] Louw, J. P., & Nida, E. A. (1996). Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament: based on semantic domains (electronic ed. of the 2nd edition., Vol. 1, p. 502). New York: United Bible Societies.

________________________________________

Remember God’s Forgiveness

One of the most important steps in overcoming an unforgiving attitude is to focus your attention on how much God has forgiven you.

List out five things that God has forgiven you for.

2.

3.

4.

5.

The parable of the unmerciful servant vividly illustrates this principle (). In that story, a servant owed the king an enormous debt. When the king threatened to have the servant and his family sold as slaves to pay the debt, the servant begged for mercy. The king "... had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan.” (v. 27). Moments later, the servant saw a man who owed him a debt that was tiny in comparison. When the servant demanded payment, the man asked for time to repay it. The servant refused and "...went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed.” (v. 30). When the king heard about this, he summoned the servant and said, "...‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’” (vv. 32–33). Then, “…his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed.” (v34). Jesus concludes the parable with these hard-hitting words, 35 "So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart.”” ()

This parable illustrates an attitude that is all too common among Christians. We take God’s forgiveness for granted, while we stubbornly withhold our forgiveness from others. In effect, we behave as though others’ sins against us are more serious than our sins against God. Jesus teaches that this is a terribly sinful thing to do—it is an affront to God and His holiness, and it demeans the forgiveness Jesus purchased for us at Calvary. Until we repent of this sinful attitude, we will suffer unpleasant consequences. To begin with, we will feel separated from God and other Christians. We may also experience unusual hardships and lose blessings that would otherwise be ours (ex. ).

If you are struggling with unforgiveness, take another look at the enormous debt for which God has forgiven you. Turning to the Bible and reminding yourself of God’s holiness will help you see more clearly the seriousness of even your smallest sin (see ; ). You made a list of some of the sins for which God has forgiven you.

Ask yourself whether you have ever treated God or others the same way you have been treated by the person you are trying to forgive. You are trying to forgive someone who has sinned against you. Have you treated God or others sinfully? YES! We all have. Take a long look at this list and remind yourself what you deserve from God because of your sins. Then rejoice in the wonderful promise of : "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love. He will not always accuse us or be angry forever. He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those who fear him.”

Ask yourself whether you have ever treated God or others the same way you have been treated by the person you are trying to forgive. You are trying to forgive someone who has sinned against you. Have you treated God or others sinfully? YES! We all have. Take a long look at this list and remind yourself what you deserve from God because of your sins. Then rejoice in the wonderful promise of : "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love. He will not always accuse us or be angry forever. He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those who fear him.”

The more you understand and appreciate the wonders of God’s forgiveness, the more motivation you will have to forgive others. We are not called to forgive others in order to earn God’s love; rather, having experienced His love, we have the basis (Christ and His shed blood) and motive (love for God and others) to forgive others. Neither a Feeling, nor Forgetting, nor Excusing To understand what forgiveness is, we must first see what it is not.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is an act of the will. Forgiveness involves a series of decisions, the first of which is to call on God to change our hearts. As He gives us grace, we must then decide (with our will) not to think or talk about what someone has done to hurt us. God calls us to make these decisions regardless of our feelings. As you will see, however, these decisions can lead to remarkable changes in our feelings.

Second, forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting is a passive process in which a matter fades from memory merely with the passing of time. Forgiving is an active process; it involves a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. To put it another way, when God says that He “remembers your sins no more” (), He is not saying that he cannot remember our sins. Rather, He is promising that he will not remember them. When He forgives us, He chooses not to mention, recount, or think about our sins ever again. Similarly, when we forgive, we must draw on God’s grace and consciously decide not to think or talk about what others have done to hurt us. This may require a lot of effort, especially when an offense is still fresh in mind. Fortunately, when we decide to forgive someone and stop dwelling on an offense, painful memories usually begin to fade.

Finally, forgiveness is not excusing. Excusing says, “That’s okay,” and implies, “What you did wasn’t really wrong,” or “You couldn’t help it.” Forgiveness is the opposite of excusing. The very fact that forgiveness is needed and granted indicates that what someone did was wrong and inexcusable. Forgiveness says, “We both know that what you did was wrong and without excuse. But since God has forgiven me, I forgive you.” Because forgiveness deals honestly with sin, it brings a freedom that no amount of excusing could ever hope to provide.

Forgiveness Is a Decision

I once heard a joke that described a frequent failure in forgiving. A woman went to her pastor for advice on improving her marriage. When the pastor asked what her greatest complaint was, she replied, “Every time we get into a fight, my husband gets historical.” When her pastor said, “You must mean hysterical,” she responded, “I mean exactly what I said; he keeps a mental record of everything I’ve done wrong, and whenever he’s mad, I get a history lesson!”Tragically, this scenario is all too common. Having never learned the true meaning of forgiveness, many people keep a record of the wrongs of others and bring them up again and again. This pattern destroys their relationships and deprives them of the peace and freedom that come through genuine forgiveness.

To forgive someone means to release him or her from liability to suffer punishment or penalty. Aphiemi, a Greek word that is often translated as “forgive,” means to let go, release, or remit. It often refers to debts that have been paid or canceled in full (e.g., ; , ). Charizomai, another word for “forgive,” means to bestow favor freely or unconditionally. This word shows that forgiveness is undeserved and cannot be earned (; ; ; ).As these words indicate, forgiveness can be a costly activity. When someone sins, they create a debt, and someone must pay it. Most of this debt is owed to God. In His great mercy, He sent His Son to pay that debt on the cross for all who would trust in him (; ; ).But if someone sinned against you, part of their debt is also owed to you. This means you have a choice to make. You can either take payments on the debt or make payments. You can take or extract payments on a debt from others’ sin in many ways: by withholding forgiveness, by dwelling on the wrong, by being cold and aloof, by giving up on the relationship, by inflicting emotional pain, by gossiping, by lashing back or by seeking revenge against the one who hurt you. These actions may provide a perverse pleasure for the moment, but they exact a high price from you in the long run.

In addition to reassuring others about your intentions, this explanation may help them understand for the first time what God means when He says, “I forgive you.”

As someone once said, “Unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die.”Your other choice is to make payments on the debt and thereby release others from penalties they deserve to pay. Sometimes God will enable you to do this in one easy payment. You decide to forgive, and by God’s grace the debt is quickly and fully canceled in your heart and mind. But when there has been a deep wrong, the debt it creates is not always paid at once. You may need to bear certain effects of the other person’s sin over a long period of time. This may involve fighting against painful memories, speaking gracious words when you really want to say something hurtful, working to tear down walls and be vulnerable when you still feel little trust, or even enduring the consequences of a material or physical injury that the other person is unable or unwilling to repair.Forgiveness can be extremely costly, but if you believe in Jesus, you have more than enough to make these payments. By going to the cross, He has already paid off the ultimate debt for sin and established an account of abundant grace in your name.

As you draw on that grace through faith day by day, you will find that you have all that you need to make the payments of forgiveness for those who have wronged you.God’s grace is especially needed to release people from the ultimate penalty of sin. It is the same penalty that God releases us from when He forgives. says, "But your iniquities are separating you from your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not listen.” (cf. ). When we repent of our sins and God forgives us, He releases us from the penalty of being separated from Him forever, which is the worst penalty we could ever experience. He promises not to remember our sins any longer, not to hold them against us, not to let them stand between us ever again:

...“For I will forgive their iniquity and never again remember their sin.” (; cf )

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” ()

"Lord, if you kept an account of iniquities, Lord, who could stand? 4 "But with you there is forgiveness, so that you may be revered.” ()

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” ().

"[Love] does not keep a record of wrongs.” ()

“[Love] keeps no record of wrongs” ().

Through forgiveness God tears down the walls that our sins have built, and he opens the way for a renewed relationship with him. This is exactly what we must do if we are to forgive as the Lord forgives us: We must release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We must not hold wrongs against others, not think about the wrongs, and not punish others for them. Therefore, forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:

“I will not dwell on this incident.”

“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”

“I will not talk to others about this incident.”

“I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

By making and keeping these promises, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others.Many people have never understood or experienced this kind of forgiveness.

As a result, even when they hear the words “I forgive you,” they continue to struggle with feelings of guilt and estrangement. Whenever others wrong you, you have an opportunity to introduce them to the wonderful world of true forgiveness. If another person admits that she has wronged you, do not just say, “I forgive you.” Go on to describe the four promises. And then take the opportunity to glorify God. Explain that the reason you are forgiving her in this way is because God has forgiven you in this way. Share the good news of what Jesus did on the cross and explain how his love is the model for your forgiveness. In addition to reassuring others about your intentions, this explanation may help them understand for the first time what God means when He says, “I forgive you.”