Wife's Role in Marriage

As we begin this morning, understand that we are not looking at a comprehensive view of all that the Bible has to say about the wife’s role in marriage. We are going to focus on two aspects primarily: SUBMISSION & RESPECT.

A good portion of the sermon is taken from my notes at the Biblical counseling conference.

Start with a few quotes that will remind us about the equality and biblical roles of men and women.

Next Slide - Quotes

Let me define male-female equality: Man and woman are equal in the sense that they bear God’s image equally. Let me also define male headship: In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction. John Piper & Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood

Husbands lead in a God-glorifying direction.

“A popular view today is that woman’s subordinate role is a result of the Fall. Since God reversed the effects of the curse through Christ, some argue, he abolished differing male and female roles. Paul, however, grounds woman’s subordinate role in the order of Creation, not in the Fall. “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve” (1 Tim. 2:13). Eve was created after Adam to be his helper (Gen. 2:18) - she was designed to follow his lead, live on his provisions, and find safety in this strength. Such tendencies were from that point on built into all women, but with the Fall came conflict. John MacArthur, Different By Design

Fall brought sin. You put two sinners in a room together and there will be some conflict because we are all to some degree selfish and want our own way.

Man & Wife - matrimonial rub...

We don’t look to our culture to find our feminine identity; we don’t consult our feelings to discover our purpose. Everything that we are and everything that we do must be rooted in God…We are intentionally and purposefully created. We are the planned and foreordained determination of an all-wise, all-powerful, and all-loving God. Carolyn Mahaney, “Femininity” in Biblical Womanhood in the Home.

What we see from Scripture and these quotes are stating:

Men and woman are created equal! In God’s image.

God ordained an order to exist in this equal partnership.

The wife completes the husband as a help-mate suitable for him.

The roles we accept in marriage are rooted in our obedience to God.

Next Slide - Our Goal is to Glorify God

Our goal is to glorify God 2 Corinthians 5:9

Next Slide 2 Cor 5:9

2 Corinthians 5:9 ESV

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

Wives glorify God when they accept the role God has set for them.

You bring glory to God by following your husband’s leadership.

Next Slide: Wives Submit to your Husband

Wives submit to your husband.

Many women today do NOT want to hear or accept submission.

Next Slide 1 Peter 3:1

1 Peter 3:1 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

Next Slide - what we need is a Biblical view of submission.

A Biblical view of submission.

The worlds view is not what matters here.

World says submission is oppression.

“I’m not submitting to no man.”

Next Slide - Submission is...

Submission = put in subjection; be under the authority of; take a subordinate place (position).

Next Slide: Submission in the Trinity

We see submission in the Trinity.

Jesus submitted Himself to God

Next Slide: Submission part of God’s plan for function and order.

Submission is part of God’s plan for function and order.

When we get outside of God’s plan there is chaos.

Next Slide: Submission the way for every believer...

Submission is a way of life for every believer not just a wife.

Submit to parents

To teachers; teachers to principals; principals to school boards and superintendent.

To government: Local, State, US

To Law enforcement

To supervisors at work

To God ultimately.

All of life is submission to someone else.

Next Slide: Submission shows spiritual maturity and character.

Submission shows spiritual maturity and character.

It takes great leadership to submit to someone else's leadership and authority.

Shows you love God.

Shows understanding of God’s authority.

In marriage it reveals a wife’s true heart.

Next Slide - Christ example of perfect submission, so wives can follow His lead.

Christ is the example of perfect submission, so wives can follow His lead.

Next Slide - 1 Peter 2:21

1 Peter 2:21 ESV

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

Next Slide - Wives respect your husband.

Wives respect your husband.

You bring glory to God by showing respect to your husband.

Ephesians 5:33 ESV

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Next Slide - Respect means...

Respect means to value, regard, notice, honor, prefer, esteem, praise, love, admire exceedingly.

Respect him as a person.

Respect his position.

Next Slide: Quote Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife

The wife is to respond respectfully to her husband because of his God-given position…This respect is not only an outward show, but also and inward heart’s attitude of obedience to God. Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife.

What are some ways to show respect?

Next Slide: Remember respect begins in the heart.

Respect begins in the heart.

Love God with all our heart and so we submit to His word and direction.

Next Slide: Practice Godly Communication

Practice Godly communication.

Remember the Four Rules of Communication

Review from handout.

Ask questions instead of making accusations.

Practice humility.

Show grace in words and tone of voice.

Colossians 4:6 ESV

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Use words that edify and build up.

Express gratitude even in difficult circumstances. 1 Thess 5:18

Avoid gossip and criticism of your husband publicly or privately.

Next Slide: Choose to believe the best about your husband.

Choose to believe the best about your husband.

Next Slide: Deal with your problems first.

Deal with your problems first.

Marriage issues are not an 80/20 proposition. Who is responsible for the 80%?

Keep short accounts of personal sin.

Pray for him daily

Pray for marriages of the church.