WISDOM FOR RELATIONSHIP AND MARITAL BLISS
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Proverb
3 It takes wisdom to build a house,
and understanding to set it on a firm foundation;
4 It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms
with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.
5 It’s better to be wise than strong;
intelligence outranks muscle any day.
6 Strategic planning is the key to warfare;
to win, you need a lot of good counsel.
Success is a series of WIN’S ,
Success always leaves Clues.
Success can be Predicable .
So today we look at wisdom for .....
Without wisdom it seems very hard to make relationship and marriage works. every one goes into a relationship with a dream, a beautiful dream of a beautiful relationship, that will last for ever . Planning to leave to happly ever after.
But most of the time it doesn’t happen and Just a while after exchanging vows , things goes down south or the other way. and the very people who can’t do without seen each other can’t do with seen each other ., irritation , currel , fight and mis-understanding set in .
The Question what happen , what went wrong , how do we mgiss our steps ,why did things change from better to worse .
Remember: The duller the ax the harder the work;
Use your head: The more brains, the less muscle.
when we find things difficult is a challenge to our thinking , our level of wisdom. when something become hard is challenge to our thinking or How God will resolve issue like this.
When thing become complicated the displice run to Jesus for answers. Boat and Storm illustration .
Whenever we realise it is diffult to achieve an objective , we should simply realise we don’t know how and seek help.
Every man’s mountain his is Ignorance , their is no mountain any where , what you don’t know you don’t i.e church Project, Key issue in hotel Illustration . if you don’t know you don’t know
Abraham Lincoln Quote : 'Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.'
Key issue in hotel Illustration
Some one who value efficiency , if it’s not working their most be a reason WHY?. setting do to think , I thought...
I thought about my ways,
And turned my feet to Your testimonies.
You will be amazed the change that will have if we could stop think and make some adjustment.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
The labor of fools wearies them,
For they do not even know how to go to the city!
Amplified Version.
Is not that people don’t know thing especially adult , they know sth it is just the wrong thing , it is very dangerous to know and believe the wrong thing , based their life on wrong principles , seen life in the picture of your past , culture , and even religion.
His not that is not working Hard : that is why people use the word what have I now been doing right , you have done everything expect the right thing .
Quote : Life does not reward you for everything you do, but for the right thing you do and at the right time . Sam Adeyemi.
The harder he work the less result . he cannot get to town.
when you someone does not value the place of knowledge and wisdom , and learning , not realising that man Greatest problem is ignorance , you will be amaze how people love failure than success, how people love hardship , than getting things done in a simple way . Simplicity .. How people love Complexity over Simplicity , especially in relationship.
Advance Eng, calculation example the hard way ..
So we must admit that we are all born 100% ignorance ,but gradually growing and increase wisdom by learning and experience .
We have a lot of people going to relationship under a very high level of Ignorance . it resulting in High level of heart ache , problem in our relationship. People conclude that the their is problem with marriage as institution .they want to enjoy everything marriage can offer but not the commitment . (expect I do )
Instead of looking at downside of marriage , i will like us to look at the upside of marriage ..
Become an Inverse Paranoid : Jack Canfield
W. Clement Stone, was once described as in inverse paranoid. Instead of believing the world was plotting to do him harm, he chose to believe the world was plotting to do him good. Instead of seeing every difficult or challenging event as a negative, he saw it for what it could be–something that was meant to enrich him, empower him, or advance his causes.Look for the opportunity in everything.
Relationship/ marriage is a multiplier in you life . it’s increase you, better fruit. better fruitfullnes
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God Bless them , not him
Two people working together , better ideals, better decision making , better innovation . two heads are better than one : if you married a bad head it says something about your own head . better problem solving . Your ideal conflict but that is what God had in mind that is the point, you can brain storm exchange ideals . dream , solve .better fianicial stability . I will always make a case for people to get married . stop turning singles into an institution. repent . is not wrong to be single : Jesus , Paul . etc. example
2. Better Healthy : physical and mental, at least you have someone to share your day with . work can be very challenging , example of my wife and I . detox ..
When you live in a stressful city you need to get married fast. lol.
3. Better answer to your prayer . if two of you agree touching a thing . Both ways
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
4. Greater fulfilment and better performance because you are able to focus on your area of strength : Their is nothing so furstrating trying to success in your area of weakness..relationship should complement you , you cannot do everything by your self , division of labour and specialisation , shine and be your best , relationship is not competition.
4.
Example of saving and planning (event programme, message ) . and your differences. illustration. thank God am married .
5. You can married as much sex as you want , and better .
6. Better environment and better atomsphere for raising Children. protection for children .. Government cannot take the person on family
The reality is that marriages are destroy because of Knowledge .
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also will reject you from being priest for Me;
Because you have forgotten the law of your God,
I also will forget your children.
Hosea
lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Satan takes advantages of ignorance , so my challagence to us tonight is we need basic knowledge on How relationship , marriages and things work.
Wisdom.. Invest in acquire wisdom on marriage/ relationship and how it works .
Wisdom is the principal thing;
Therefore get wisdom.
And in all your getting, get understanding.
marriages is relationship so you need to find out how relationship works, you are not alone in this world , not good for man to be alone , either is marriage or not we are not design to be all by ourself.,or isolation .
we need to learn how to relate. some of the most important skill you learn on this planet is how to relate with each other. is call Human Intelligence .
Which is the Greatest Commanded.
Love You Neighbour and Love God all the commandment hanged on it .. LOVE .
You will never rise beyond your People skills, their a lot of talent people going no where because they lack people skills.
The Higher you go the more your success depend on people skills than your technical knowledge. In any organisation . (People Skills ).
Acquire Basic Relationship Principles. Skills
and the KEY WORD is LOVE , developing the capacity to LOVE people and Value them , you cannot LOVE and Fail .
Love is to VALUE the person , to see someone the way God’s see them , the recognise their value and reflect the VALUE .
How do you do that ?.
Given . How much you are willing to give on / for a person is an indication of the Value you place on them.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Prove of Love is Given
By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
When we fall in love the speaking and written come naturally (Inspiration) Example on how you write to her
But the true test is HOW MUCH CAN YOU GIVE.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
1cor
When we give , is a reflection on how much we think the person deserves or worth . That is Why for us WORSHIP is us loving GOD .expressing how much is worth to us .
Any relation will not work if we do not have the capacity to Love. so Love is first given and forgiven (written off a dept, the person is owing , you cancel the record). if you cannot handle this yet their is not point contemplating marriage yet.
Your have a lot of opputunity for reharsal before we get to marriage , Your family , if you have develop hatred because your family members are not perfect .(welcome to the show.. illustrate more .. He hates his mum and He said his in Love with you … Seriously ). He want to escaped that and run into marriage . emotional exchange .
Selective amnesia (deliberate inability (unwillingness) to recall an event's details.) :
You choice to ignore somethings is courtship (when we fall in love ), and choice what you want to remember .Ideal picture of husband and wife and super impose on someone we meet till after we get married . God gives us a family to prepare us for your family , why WHOSE EVER you will married will not be a perfect person.
That is why some people are surprise and say i did not know you where like this.
God will us your family, church , school , work to prepare you for life time . we need to develop capacity to love , to give and forgive .
2. study people , know people , what make sad , think , feeling and relating , the word you use , pulling people down. You must learn to be relational.
3. Study gender and personality differences. men and women . extrovert and introvert . it will make you laugh at things that will make you angry .
it amazing how we men get angry because our wife are behaving like women… lol
Study it , read it and get understanding. stop acting in phenomenon ignorance .
example : Men use word to communicate fact , women use word to communicate feelings.
illustrate … I know you don’t love me . when was the last you took me out … never .
Most men don’t hear their wife …because of ignorance . story , illustration .men are headliner.
when man said i think am hungry , is not a suggestion ..
if we are going to love people we need to understand them . God know us and understand our weakness and Love Us , Some men are so bitter and determine to use woman as tools, but that doesn’t help or solve problem
2. Study about sex. Although when is close to marriage , their is no point getting revelation you can do nothing about
3. Women think talk. but men internalise things , solve problem and think inside. don’t shut down your woman
4. Study about sin . selfshiness,
5. Pride . . no man hate his flesh. if we one where is
anger ,lying , greed ,lust , Envie . God forgive us . way out .
lying
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
11 I have become a fool in boasting; you have compelled me. For I ought to have been commended by you; for in nothing was I behind the most eminent apostles, though I am nothing. 12 Truly the signs of an apostle were accomplished among you with all perseverance, in signs and wonders and mighty deeds.
greed
2 chron
lust
Envie
Don’t try with your strength , be honest and ask for help
1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Don’t focus on other people weakness. Marriage tends us to focus on other weakness the very reason why God brought you togther to compliment each other
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
maturity dealing with people weakness. display supriority in character . not reacting but responding with grace and strength , challlenge each other to good works
Incloclusion :
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged.
Please read books , attend seminar, listen to audio , seek wisdom , watch videos , come to church . wisdom will make a whole lot easy ..
Matt 7:
The highest dimension of information is revelation .
24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:
Develop the capacity to hear from God , wisdom is not just knowledge , is knowledge accurately applied . It make different when you can hear from GOD
what should i do in this situation
God Leading will save you from life stress.
Father .. I recived the WISDOM OF THE SPIRIT
6 However, we speak wisdom among those who are mature, yet not the wisdom of this age, nor of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7 But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, 8 which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
9 But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
10 But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. 11 For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.
13 These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
1cor 2:
2 The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him,
The Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
The Spirit of counsel and might,
The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord.
17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him,
Amen