The Fabric of The Family

Introduction

Every family has dysfunction, but there is a fabric that holds every family together. There is a faithful father, who is father over all, that holds every family together. Whether we're talking about a spiritual family, a local church family, an extended family, or an immediate family there's a fabric that can keep them all intact despite our dysfunction. Our churches, our jobs, and our homes become dysfunctional because they are filled with dysfunctional people. There are dysfunctional people in the pews you’re sitting in. There are dysfunctional people in the houses we live in. There are dysfunctional people in the beds we sleep in every night. There’s a dysfunctional person in the suit that I’m wearing right now. Because I’m messed up, my flaws sometimes cause a strain on my relationships and the people who are affected the most are often times the people closest to me. Every since the fall, since Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, families have suffered from dysfunction. Every family suffers from dysfunction, because every person that makes up that family is dysfunctional, corrupt, and sinful. Because of our corrupt condition we make messes and we leave stains in our homes that can remain for generations if we aren’t careful. There is a fabric that wraps dysfunctional people together and binds families. That fabric is the love for dysfunctional people. The Gospel is a story about a fathers love for his dysfunctional children.

At the beginning of chapter 15 a very offensive statement is made. The pharisees and scribes had gathered together around Jesus and they began to grumble, “This man receives sinners and eats with them”. This statement was offensive to Jesus, and that’s evident by the fact that he told three parables in response to the one statement. You know you’ve offended someone when you say one thing and they hit you with a 15 minute sermon. The entirety of Chapter 15 in the book of look is a response to that one statement. They say, “this man receives sinners and eats with them”. Jesus says, “which one of you having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open county, and go after the one that is lost. They said, “This man receives sinners and eats with them”. Jesus says, “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it?”. The scribes and pharisees said, “This man receives sinners and eats with them”. Jesus responds by telling them the story of a man who had two sons.

Each story or parable Jesus told, had one purpose. The purpose or goal of all of his responses was simple, he was teaching them what it means to value dysfunctional people. It is this love for the messed up, strung out, wayward, unfaithful, dishonest, low down, trifling people in our families that keep us together. In verse 11 the story begins, “There was a man who had two sons”. Everyone has heard of the story of the prodigal son. But there are really three major parts to the story. There’s the younger sons divorce from his father’s house. Then there is the younger sons reunion with the father. At the end there is the older son’s rejections of his brother and his father. Right in the middle, in verses 17-24 we see the younger dysfunctional son’s return home, reunion with his father, and his restoration as his father’s son. From this return, reunion, and restoration we learn about the fabric that is able to save lost loved ones, and heal broken homes, and keep happy homes together.

Return

We begin looking at this story in the middle of the story. There are three major events in this text, and the first one is the return. The lost son has had a come to Jesus meeting and he’s preparing to go back home. His return home is not only a step towards the right thing but it’s a step away from the wrong thing. But before he could turn away from where he was and get back to where he needed to be something had to happen.

Notice this important phrase, “but when he came to himself”. The younger son experienced an awakening that was the catalyst for his attempt to return home. As born again believers we know that this sort of realization is the Spirit’s work to open our eyes when we’ve been blinded and convict our conscious when we get off track. God has a funny way of getting our attention when we get off track, but often times there is an internal force that grabs us lets us know when we’ve veered off course. Sometimes when we come to ourselves, however, it is to help us see the good things that the Lord has done or is doing. In Luke recounts the time when Peter was in jail, the Bible says he was bound by two chains between to guards. Then suddenly an angel appeared and struck him on the side and woke him up and told him to get up, and the chains fell off his hands. The angel told him to put on your clothes and put on your sandals and follow me. So Peter followed the angel, but the entire time he thought he was just dreaming. When Peter and the angel finally made it out of the last gate, the bible says that Peter came to himself. Once he came to himself he knew for certain that the Lord had sent that angel to to deliver him from the hand of Herod. God quickens our spirit to allow us to see the truth about our situation. For the wayward son, God allowed him to realize the truth about where he was. He was awakened spiritually, revived mentally and physically. He finally realized where he was physically, spiritually, geographically, and emotionally. Physically, the bible says he was perishing with hunger, literally meaning he was dying of starvation. Geographically he was a long way from home. Emotionally, he finally realized what his independence from his family had cost him. The text says he was alone while he was in the hog pen and no one would give him any food. He had gotten exactly what he was asking for yet until God had opened his eyes he couldn’t see the damage that he had done to himself. Think about it, for him to admit that he was starving to death is an eye opener, but I’m sure he had lost a ton of weight before he actually realized that he was starving. Yet it wasn’t until God had opened his eyes was he able to see how his environment was affecting him physically. How many husbands, sons, sisters, daughters, mothers have we seen get swallowed up into a lifestyle that is destroying their bodies but they seem to not be able to see how their environment is changing the way they look. Until God opens their eyes they won’t be able to see the damage that they are doing to themselves. Emotionally he felt lonely and neglected all because he had desired to take his inheritance and get as far away from his father’s house as he could go. It wasn’t until the spirit pricked him that he realized that without his family he didn’t have anybody. The prodigal son was just like some of us. While he had a little money in his pocket and he was enjoying living the fast life he was able to mask the torment of being separated from his family. But when he hit broke and all of his friends were gone and he couldn’t offer anybody free food, free drinks, and a free ride, he started to realize that the people in that country cared as much for the swine as they did for him. When God opened his eyes he realized that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and that staying home and sticking it out when times get tough is better than laying down with pigs every night. He realized that learning to obey the house rules set by the folks who bought the house was better than starving trying to make it on your own. At home you might have felt like you were fenced up like those hogs but at least they fed you. I know you’ve been worried about when they were coming back since they walked out on you, or when they would realize that you were just trying to raise them the best way you knew how, but until God opens their eyes and they realize who they are, and whose they are they won’t be able to see it.

True awareness, or a true awakening, should always promote action. Notice after “he came to himself”, he begin rehearsing what he would say when he got home. After he realized where he was, and what he had done, he begin thinking about how he would repent. He began thinking about how he could make right his wrongs and reconcile with his father. He wasn’t just going back home, he was going home to repent. Because he didn’t just want to be back in the house, he wanted to mend the fabric of the family. He needed to patch up some holes that he had caused when he left so he was prepared to humble himself and make things right. At some point all of our families will suffer from pain because of our dysfunction and the only way to repair the fabric is to repent and return home. Repentance is the thread that ties dysfunctional families back together.

Reunion

The next major event we see in verses 17-24 is the reunion. In verses 20 & 21 we see a picture of a true reunion. Jesus tells this crowd that when the father, who had obviously been anticipating his sons return, saw his son coming in the distance he felt compassion and he ran to embrace him. The phrase "But while he was still a long way off" , is significant in showing us that before the young man had officially returned home there was compassion waiting on him. The father didn't wait until he got there and had given him an apology. He felt compassion while he was still a long way off. This reunion is a lot different than most reunions that happen after a family has been at odds with one another. When there’s been an argument, or a falling out that first face to face meeting afterwards is usually a little awkward and clumsy. There are a few details about this reunion that we need to pay attention to.

One of the things that make this reunion unique is the unconditional love that the father shows to his son. The Bible says that while the son was still a great way off the father felt compassion for him. Although the son was still technically separated from the house he was still the father’s son, so he felt compassion for him. In his father’s eyes where he was didn’t change who he was. It was father’s love for him as his son that caused him to feel compassion for him and nothing else. Before he could say I’m sorry, before he could offer his service, before he could offer to fix what he had broken he felt compassion for him. When’s the last time you opened your heart to forgive someone close to you after they’ve hurt you without making them beg for your pardon? Just seeing his son filled his heart with compassion and because of this they were able to have a joyous reunion. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t clumsy, their reunion was a good time because of that compassion. Because of his compassion he was able to accept the unacceptable.

We also notice something else about the reunion that turned what should have been a painful event into time of rejoicing. The father had been seeking reconciliation. For him to see the son while he was still a great way off he had to have been anticipating the sons return. But he didn’t just sit and wait for the son to come back to him. When he saw his son verse 20 says, “he ran and kissed him”. Running for a man of his stature wasn’t a dignified move. Older men didn’t run back then, and I haven’t seen too many that run now. But the fact that he ran shows that fixing the relationship with his broken son was more important to him than his image. Although he wasn’t the one who had taken all of his inheritance and squandered it he was the one seeking a reconciliation. God didn’t eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but he was the one who sent his son so we could be reconciled with him. That’s what Grace does it looks past the wrong to make things right even if it costs. For God it cost him Jesus. For the father it cost him his dignity. For us it may cost us our pride. But while he was still far off, for while we were yet sinners. We need to stop waiting on people to be perfect before we decide we want to forgive and reconcile. Don’t wait on them to be what you think they ought to be, learn how to have compassion for them while they are still a far off. When we do that then we can enjoy a reunion those whom may have been lost.

Restoration

What the father does at the end of this scene is the same thing our father does to us once we have returned and reconciled with him. The same thing he does for us once we turn to embrace him and he embraces us. After the son makes his plea to the father and he confesses that he has sinned in his sight and against heaven, the father has something to say. The boy confesses his sins and offers himself to return home not as a son but as a servant, the father responds by telling his servants to bring his son gifts. The boy asked to be made a servant, the father asked the servants to shower his son with gifts. The boy asked to be restored back into the house with less than what he had before, the father restored the son to the house with more than what he left with. David said it like this, he restore the my soul, my cup runners over. Once the younger son has returned to his father’s house the father offers him complete restoration as his son. Reconciliation is not complete without restoration. How often have we told someone we forgive them but still treat them as less than what they are? Even when we've gone as far as forgiving someone we stumble with restoring them back to their rightful position.

The gifts that the father gave the son all had significance. The robe was a symbol that the boys status had changed. He was no longer an alien and a foreigner, he was once again a son. The ring meant that the power and authority the father had was now being given to the son. Sandals were a sign of his membership to the house. Only sons wore shoes, slaves and servants didn’t get shoes. He didn’t just give him back everything he had before. He gave him more than what he had. These gifts were a sign to him that although he had ran out and didn’t appreciate all that he had done for him before he wanted to make sure he knew that he had fully forgiven him one ehe returned home. The gifts were an expression of how much he valued his sons return. The fact that a family member who he had a bad relationship with, had come to him for reconciliation and a reunion to get on right terms meant something to the man. Number one because they were family, number two because a bad situation was being made right.

This was cause for celebration so he ordered his servants to bring the fattened calf and let’s kill it so we can eat and celebrate. Any time there has been a return, a reunion, and restoration, it’s time to celebrate. He says for this my son was dead and now he is alive, he was lost but now he is found. Every day you ought to celebrate the fact that one day you were lost and the Lord found you. You were dead and the Lord revived your soul. You left home but the Lord brought you back. You were hurt but the Lord healed your wounds. Your marriage was fading, but the Lord rekindled the flame. Your father was gone but the Lord brought him back home. Restoration is a reason for celebration!

Conclusion

The story of the wayward son and the forgiving father teaches us how to deal with dysfunction within our own homes. The parable is used to explain a hard teaching to the pharisees and scribes. The lesson is that dealing with dysfunction is difficult if you don't learn how to love dysfunctional people. That love is the fabric that holds the family together. It’s a story about a lost son who found his way back home, but it’s not just a story about a lost son finding his way back home. It teaches us that it’s never too late no matter where you are and what you’ve done to go back home. It’s a story about a father who sought reconciliation with his son, but it’s not just a story about a father who sought reconciliation with his son. It’s also a story about a father who sent a son to seek and save the lost so we could have peace with him and be reconciled through his son. The parable of the prodigal son is a story about a father who loved his messed up child unconditionally, but it’s not just a story about a father who loved his son unconditionally. It’s a lesson about a heavenly father who looked beyond all of our faults and saw our needs. A father who had mercy on us and reached down from heaven to awaken our hearts so that one day we can dwell in his house. The parable of the prodigal son is a story about a father who restored his son back to his rightful place as his son, but it’s not just a story about a father who restores his son. It’s a lesson about a heavenly father who looks as all of my sins, watches me every time I stumble yet restores my soul that I may rejoice and be glad. It’s not just a story about a lost son, it’s a story about healing broken homes. Fixing messed up relationships and a lesson about the fabric that’s holding all of us together. That fabric is Jesus. The same scarlet thread that saved Rahab’s family, is able to save your family. He bled so our souls wouldn’t be lost. But he also bled so that in him we may have forgiveness of sins and the forgivenesss of sinners. Not just that God may forgive sinners but that we may be able to forgive sinners as well. That fabric is stained with his blood and shaped like a cross.

What can wash away my sin?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus;

What can make me whole again?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus;

Oh precious the flow

That makes me white as snow

No other fount I know;

Nothing but the blood of Jesus