1 Peter 3a

Shawn Bumpers

1 Peter • Sermon • Submitted 7 years ago

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Introduction

In the middle of chapter 2, Peter explained that we have a testimony to the world of our Lord.

We have a testimony to the world of our Lord, and from this, Peter launches into a topic that was not popular in his day … Submission to authority.

From this, Peter launches into a topic that was not popular in his day … Submission to authority.

Really, the idea is “submission to God.”

Because all authority is from God.

So then, Peter speaks of submission to God’s authority … by submitting to God’s delegated authority.

But why all this talk about submission to earthly authority … “If the world is fallen and under judgment and we are saved out of the world, why should we acknowledge it’s authority?”

And also … “Is it not the case that Christians are free?”

Yes, we are free in Christ.

But Peter says, we must never use our freedom as a cover for selfish pursuit or causing trouble.

We must always use it for others in reverence for God.

God is sovereign … and as we see in the book of Job, even Satan reports to Him.

A Christian will submit himself to authority because he is first and foremost submitted to Christ.

He uses his freedom as a tool to build with and not as a weapon to fight with.

A good example of this is Paul who gave up many personal freedoms in order to reach people with the Gospel.

If we are sincerely submitted to authority “for the Lord’s sake,” then we will show honor to those whom God has placed in authority.

We may not agree with them about everything … maybe not anything … but we must respect their position.

puts it pretty bluntly:

Romans 13:1 NKJV

Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

It’s out of convenience that we segregate direct and delegated authority.

But to God, there is only His authority.

And when we abide in His authority we are most at liberty.

Yes, I’m being repetitive … I’ve said similar things over the past few weeks … but when it comes to submitting ourselves under authority … even when we disagree … well, we need to hear it over and over.

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Over the past few weeks, we looked at submission to Government and then last week submission in our employment.

And today, in chapter 3, we continue with admonitions about submission, but move into the realm of the home life.

Specifically, submission in the husband / wife relationship … another popular topic.

I say that tongue in cheek because submission to authority is never a popular topic … especially in regards to our marriages.

It’s hard to submit to government because we see fault in it.

It’s hard to submit to employers because we see fault in them.

And it’s perhaps even harder to submit in our marriages because more than any other relationship, we are familiar with the faults of our spouse.

Go into any bookstore and you will find hundreds of books about marriage.

Turn on the television and you will find any number of talking heads giving so called marriage advice.

There are plenty of so called professionals who want to give you advice.

And yet with all of this … there are only more and more marital problems and divorces.

And it is not sufficient to say that God is needed in these homes.

But I remember that in so many cases, I would present what God says in His Word about marriage and a particular circumstance a couple was dealing with and one of the 2 would say, “Yeah … but ...”

But … nothing.

The best advice we can get comes from the One who built man from the ground up … who created woman out of man … and who created marriage.

It is not sufficient to say that God is needed in these homes, because even many Christian marriages are falling apart.

Because, many Christian marriages are falling apart.

The fact that a man and a woman are both saved is no guarantee that their marriage will succeed.

Whether saved or unsaved, marriage is something that we have to work at … success is not automatic.

And when one marriage partner is not a Christian, that can make matters even more difficult.

And when one marriage partner is not a Christian, that can make matters even more difficult. Peter addressed this section of his letter to Christian wives who had unsaved husbands, telling them how to win their mates to Christ. Then he added some important admonitions for Christian husbands.

Peter addressed this section of his letter to Christian wives who had unsaved husbands, telling them how to win their mates to Christ.

Then he added some important admonitions for Christian husbands.

I don’t do as much counseling today as I used to do when I was an assisting pastor at CCOT.

But … nothing.

The best counsel we can get comes from the One who built man from the ground up … who created woman out of man … and who created marriage.

And at least one symptom … perhaps the greatest symptom leading to a failed marriage between two Christians is disregard for what God says about marriage.

Perhaps they themselves have no regard for the Bible or perhaps they attend a church that has no regard for the Bible.

Hopefully every marriage here is in a condition of being equally yoked … and is strong.

And we know that this church has a deep regard for scripture.

And I hope that every marriage here has a deep regard for what God says about their marriage … even things we might have a hard time with.

Because no matter what your marital status may be, we can all learn from Peter the essentials for a happy and successful marriage.

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After everything that I pointed out so far in this long introduction … We might ask, “Well, if the world is fallen and under judgment and we are saved out of the world, why should we acknowledge it’s authority?”

And we might also argue back … “But, are not Christians free?”

Yes, we are free in Christ.

But Peter says, we must never use our freedom as a cover for selfish pursuit or causing trouble.

We must always use it for others in reverence for God.God is sovereign … and as we see in the book of Job, even Satan reports to Him.

A Christian will submit himself to authority because he is first and foremost submitted to Christ.

He uses his freedom as a tool to build with and not as a weapon to fight with.

A good example of this is Paul who gave up many personal freedoms in order to reach people with the Gospel.

If we are sincerely submitted to authority “for the Lord’s sake,” then we will show honor to those whom God has placed in authority.

We may not agree with them about everything … maybe not anything … but we must respect their position.

puts it pretty bluntly:

Romans 13:1 NKJV

Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

It’s out of convenience that we segregate direct and delegated authority.But to God, there is only His authority.

And when we abide in His authority we are most at liberty.

So, that’s where we are today … we’ll start with verse 1 of chapter 3.

But first, let’s pray.

Prayer: Lord, as we embark to study your Word, we ask that our hearts would be open to receive all that You have to say to us. We desire to be hearers and doers and for You to lead us in Your ways. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

The fact that a man and a woman are both saved is no guarantee that their marriage will succeed. Marriage is something that we have to work at; success is not automatic. And when one marriage partner is not a Christian, that can make matters even more difficult. Peter addressed this section of his letter to Christian wives who had unsaved husbands, telling them how to win their mates to Christ. Then he added some important admonitions for Christian husbands.

No matter what your marital status may be, you can learn from Peter the essentials for a happy and successful marriage.

v1-2

Notice the word “likewise” in verse 1.

It is also found in verse 7:

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

It’s the Greek word ὁμοίως homoiōs meaning “in the same way.”

So then, in each case we are referred back to Peter’s discussion of the example of Jesus Christ that Peter gave us at the end of chapter 2.

Look back at what it says there:

1 Peter 2:21–25 NKJV

For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Jesus was submissive and obedient to God’s will.

Just as Jesus was submissive and obedient to God’s will, so a Christian husband and wife should follow His example.

He could have summoned the armies of heaven to rescue Him … but He submitted to the will of the Father.

And that meant He submitted to the authority of the chief priest and of Pilate.

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So, the point is that in the manner that Jesus was submissive and obedient to God’s will, so a Christian husband and wife should be submitted and obedient to God’s will.

Most parents know that it is important for their children to have good role models.

That’s because so much of our learning in life comes by way of imitation.

The best role model is Christ.

Grandparents have a delightful time watching their grandchildren “pick up” new skills and words as they grow up.

And that is not limited to our childhood.

If we have good role models, we will become better people and probably achieve much more in life.

But if we follow the wrong models, it could be devastating to our character … and possibly make a wreck of our lives.

The “role models” that we follow influence us in every area of life.

But the best role model is Christ.

And that is the danger of depending on secular ideas or getting our standards from Hollywood rather than heaven.

The best role model is Christ.

When we do those things, there will be trouble in the home.

The best role model is Christ.

And if both the husband and wife will imitate Christ in His submission and obedience, and His desire to serve others, then the home will function as the LORD intended.

And we will experience the liberty and blessing of a solid marriage.

A psychiatrist friend of mine states that the best thing a Christian husband can do is pattern himself after Jesus Christ.

In order to follow Christ’s example, we first have to know Him as Savior and submit to Him as Lord.

Peter also pointed to Sarah as a model for Christian wives to follow.

In verse 6, we will see that Peter used Abraham’s wife, Sarah as an example.

By no means was Sarah perfect.

But she was a very good wife to Abraham … also named in for her great faith in the LORD.

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We cannot follow Christ’s example unless we first know Him as our Saviour, and then submit to Him as our Lord. We must spend time with Him each day, meditating on the Word and praying; and a Christian husband and wife must pray together and seek to encourage each other in the faith.

We must spend time with Him each day, meditating on the Word and praying; and a Christian husband and wife must pray together and seek to encourage each other in the faith.

Now,

Now, we have been talking about submission.

Two times in the first 6 verses Peter reminded Christian wives that they were to be submissive to their husbands … in verse 1 and verse 5.

It’s the Greek word ὑποτάσσω hypotassō which means to order under the power of another.

The word translated “subjection” is a military term that means “to place under rank.”

God has a place for everything.

He has established an order of things.

And He has ordained various levels of authority.

Back in chapter 2, Peter wrote, “Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake” and “For this is the will of God.”

Do not read below:

1 Peter 2:13 NKJV

Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme,

1 Peter 2:15 NKJV

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men—

1 Peter 2:

As a part of this order, God has ordained that the husband be the head of the home.

Paul wrote to the believers in Ephesus:

Ephesians 5:22 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22–24 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:

Ephesians 5:22

And we may dismiss that as quaint and old fashioned saying, “We are in a new age today … we’ve moved beyond those old ways.”

This is one of those places where we have to make a choice to either receive what God’s Word says or reject it.

To eliminate passages we don’t agree with doesn’t make them any less true; it only makes us more false.

What it does, makes us more false.

To believe portions only we deem appropriate contradicts the authority of the entire word of God.

But God is God, and what He ordains is absolute … so then it is truly all or nothing where the Bible is concerned.

God has ordained that the husband be the head of the home and that, as he submits to Christ, his wife should submit to him.

We should, however, understand that headship is not dictatorship.

Rather, it is the loving exercise of divine authority under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

In the next handful of verses, we find some reasons why a Christian wife should submit to here husband (even if the husband is not saved.)

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Look back at verse 1.

In the first half of this verse we find that submission is an obligation.

God has commanded it because, He knows that this is the best arrangement for a God honoring marriage … which will be happy and fulfilling for us.

Subjection does not mean inferiority.

It does not mean that the wife is less than the husband.

In fact, in just a few verses, in verse 7, Peter makes it clear that the husband and wife are “heirs together.”

Do not read below:

1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

The man and woman are made by the same Creator as He saw fit to make them, in His likeness.

The man and woman are made by the same Creator out of the same basic material, and both are made in God’s image. God gave dominion to both Adam and Eve (), and in Jesus Christ Christian mates are one ().

says that God gave dominion to both Adam and Eve.

Do not read below:

Genesis 1:28 NKJV

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

And Paul wrote to the church in Galatia explaining that believers are, “one in Christ Jesus.”

Do not read below:

Galatians 3:28 NKJV

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Submission has to do with order and authority, not appraisal.

For example, the slaves in the average Roman household were superior in many ways to their masters, but they still had to be under authority.

A private in the army may be stronger or smarter than the five-star general, but he is still a private.

Even Christ Himself became a servant and submitted to God’s will.

There is nothing degrading about submitting to authority or accepting God’s order.

Even Christ became a servant and submitted to God’s will.

If anything, it is the first step toward fulfillment.

And makes it clear that husband and wife are obliged to submit to God’s authority “out of reverence for Christ.”

Do not read below:

Ephesians 5:21 ESV

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:

This explains why Christians should marry other Christians, as God’s Word says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.”

This explains why Christians must always marry other Christians, for a believer cannot enter into any kind of deep “oneness” with an unbeliever ().

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

Do not read below:

2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians

for a believer cannot enter into any kind of deep “oneness” with an unbeliever ().

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That being said, in the early days of Christianity, many women found themselves in the situation of having an unbelieving husband.

Of course it happens today where in an unsaved couple, one spouse receives Christ.

And so in the second half of verse 1 and into verse 2, we find that submission is an opportunity.

An opportunity for what?

It is an opportunity to win an unsaved husband to Christ.

In the case of this text, it’s a saved wife winning an unsaved husband to Christ

But, of course, it

God not only commands submission, but He uses it as a powerful spiritual influence in a home.

This does not mean that a Christian wife “gives in” to her unsaved husband and subtly manipulates him to do what she wants.

This kind of selfish psychological persuasion ought never to be found in a Christian’s heart or home.

An unsaved husband is unlikely to be converted by nagging.

There are 2 phrases here using the word, “WORD.”

First, “do not obey the word” speaks of the disobeying the gospel.

Next, “without a word” speaks of “communication.”

In other words not by nagging, but by living so as to maintain a good reputation for the gospel … a good testimony to her husband.

The phrase “without a word” does not mean “without the Word of God,” because salvation comes through the Word (). It means “without talk, without a lot of speaking.” Christian wives who preach at their husbands only drive them farther from the Lord. I know one zealous wife who used to keep religious radio programs on all evening, usually very loud, so that her unsaved husband would “hear the truth.” She only made it easier for him to leave home and spend his evenings with his friends.

It is the character and conduct of the wife that will win the lost husband ... attitudes of submission, understanding, love, kindness, patience.

In other words, the fruit of the Spirit that come when we are submitted to Christ and to one another.

In her submission to God and His order, she will reveal in her life “the praises of Him who called [her] out of darkness into His marvelous light” as Peter said early in chapter 2.

1 Peter 2:9 NKJV

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

In this way she will over time influence her husband to trust Christ.

A Christian wife with “purity and reverence” will reveal in her life “the praises” of God () and influence her husband to trust Christ.

of God () and influence her husband to trust Christ.

One of the greatest examples of a godly wife and mother in church history is Monica, the mother of the famous St. Augustine. God used Monica’s witness and prayers to win both her son and her husband to Christ, though her husband was not converted until shortly before his death. Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “She served him as her lord; and did her diligence to win him unto Thee … preaching Thee unto him by her conversation [behavior]; by which Thou ornamentest her, making her reverently amiable unto her husband.”

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In a Christian home, we minister to each other.

A Christian husband ministers to his wife in the Lord.

A Christian wife encourages her husband and helps him grow strong in the Lord.

And parents and children share burdens and blessings glorifying God and maintaining a testimony of His goodness.

And if there are unsaved people in the home, they will be won to Christ by what they see in God’s faithfulness and by what they learn in our witness.

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Next, we find that submission is an ornament.

v3-6

Submission is an ornament.

We have that word “adornment” here in verse 3.

It’s the Greek word κόσμος kosmos which means “ordered universe” and also to make beautiful through order.

It is the opposite of chaos.

Peter warns the Christian wife not to major on outward decoration, but rather on internal character.

Roman women were captivated by the latest fashions of the day, and competed with each other in dress and hairdos. It was not unusual for the women to have elaborate coiffures, studded with gold and silver combs and even jewels. They wore elaborate and expensive garments, all for the purpose of impressing each other.

A Christian wife with an unsaved husband may turn to what the world thinks is most important to try to win her husband.

Instead, just the opposite is true.

What is external is temporary and changing … not unimportant because we should desire to make ourselves pleasing to our mates … but fleeting none the less.

Glamour is artificial and external; true beauty is real and internal.

It can be put on and taken off … what you see is not always what you get.

But true beauty is always present.

And true beauty from the heart grows more wonderful as the years pass.

A Christian woman who cultivates the beauty of the inner person will not have to depend on store bought externals.

What is truly valuable is what God finds precious … and verse 4 says that is, “The incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”

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In verses 5 and 6, Peter closed this section by pointing to Abraham’s wife, Sarah, as an example of a godly, submissive wife.

Abraham was a great man of faith, and yet he made some poor decisions at times, such as when he took Sarah into Egypt and instructed her to tell anyone who asked that she was his sister.

Christian wives today would probably embarrass their husbands if they called them “lord,” but their attitudes ought to be such that they could call them “lord” and people would believe it.

And later he did the same thing with Abimelech, king of Gerar.

Abraham did not intend to put Sarah in any danger … and yet he did just that.

But God watched over Sarah and kept her safe.

And God will watch over the believing, submissive wife when her unsaved mate creates problems and difficulties for her and when a believing husband creates problems.

v7

Now, Peter turns to instructing husbands.

We have a whole paragraph devoted to instructing wives.

And then we have one sentence devoted to instructing husbands.

Well, that’s not exactly true.

tells husbands to love their wives, “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

Do not read below:

As we recognized

Ephesians 5:25 NKJV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

So then, husbands have a whole Bible instructing them … am I right?

Husbands, you better be reading your Bibles and not just waiting for Sunday morning.

Amen?

But even in this one verse husbands and those who will one day be husbands find a great deal of instruction.

Because the Christian wives were experiencing a whole new situation and needed guidance. In general, women were kept down in the Roman Empire, and their new freedom in Christ created new problems and challenges. Furthermore, many of them had unsaved husbands and needed extra encouragement and enlightenment.

This verse contains 4 areas of responsibility in regards to a husband’s relationship with his wife.

The first is physical … dwell with them.

Well, that’s easy … my address is her address.

No, this is much more than that.

This implies much more than sharing the same address.

Marriage is fundamentally a physical relationship.

As God declared in , and as Paul reiterated to the Ephesians, “The two shall be one flesh.”

Do not read below:

Ephesians 5:31 NKJV

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

The physical relationship of marriage is wonderful, but, of course, there is a deeper spiritual relationship

Of course, Christian marriages enjoy a deeper spiritual relationship.

A spiritual husband will fulfill his marital duties and love his wife.

That often means reorganizing priorities and sacrificing goals and desires.

God first, then wife, then children, then work and other responsibilities.

Too many marriages are held together only by the kids … the kids are put first

The husband must make time for God, time to be with his wife and time with the kids.

But that order is important … the kids should not be first … but so many marriages are held together only by the kids.

Christian workers and church officers who get too busy running around solving other people’s problems, may end up creating problems of their own at home.

And then when the kids have grown up and left the house, the marriage falls apart.

The husband and wife are left alone—to live with strangers!

The second area of responsibility is intellectual … “with understanding.”

Mrs. Albert Einstein once acknowledged that she didn’t understood her husband’s theory of relativity, but she understood her husband.

In my premarital counseling as a pastor, I often gave the couple pads of paper and asked them to write down the three things each one thinks the other enjoys doing the most.

Usually, the prospective bride made her list immediately; the man would sit and ponder.

And usually the girl was right but the man wrong!

What a beginning for a marriage!

In marriage counseling that I’ve done I’ve been amazed at how 2 married people can live together and not really know each other.

Ignorance is dangerous, but it is especially dangerous in marriage.

A Christian husband should desire to understand his wife … learn her moods, feelings, needs, fears, and hopes.

Being good at solving riddles helps.

But also learn how to love through disagreement.

I’m half joking … But communication is very important.

Honest and open communication will help create a protective atmosphere of love and submission in the home.

Someone once said that “Love without truth is hypocrisy, and truth without love is brutality.”

Both truth and love are needed for a husband and wife to grow in understanding of one another.

We need both truth and love if we are to grow in our understanding of one another.

How can a husband show consideration for his wife if he does not understand her needs or problems?

When either the husband or wife is afraid to be open and honest about a matter, then he or she is building walls rather than bridges.

The third area of responsibility is emotional … “giving honor to the wife.”

Peter says “Giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel.”

The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament 3:1–7—Wives and Husbands

Aristotle, who argued that women were by nature inferior to men in every way except sexually.

Aristotle was a Greek philosopher and intellectual who is highly regarded by most secular intellectuals today … who also shun the Bible.

Aristotle argued that women were by nature inferior to men in every way.

Aristotle, who argued that women were by nature inferior to men in every way except sexually.

The Bible, however teaches that in Christ men and women are equal.

Peter did not suggest that a wife is “the weaker vessel” mentally, morally, or spiritually, but rather physically. There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking, the man is the stronger of the two when it comes to physical accomplishments. The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.

Chivalry may be dead, but every husband must be a “knight in shining armor” who treats his wife like a princess. (By the way, the name Sarah means “princess.”) Peter did not suggest that a wife is “the weaker vessel” mentally, morally, or spiritually, but rather physically. There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking, the man is the stronger of the two when it comes to physical accomplishments. The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.

And when Peter speaks of her being “the weaker vessel” it is not speaking of inferiority.

That would be a misunderstanding of the Greek here.

The Greek word τιμή timē means having an assignment of value.

The Greek word ἀσθενής asthenēs speaks of physical weakness.

And the Greek word σκεῦος skeuos is a vessel but is figuratively used to mean marriage partner.

So then, weaker here is not speaking of metal, moral, or spiritual … but physical.

Of course there are exceptions, but generally, the husband is physically stronger than the wife.

The picture is of an expensive vase compared to a clunky chunky bowl.

We would be more delicate with the vase, because we assign it more worth.

The husband should love his wife as a treasure.

If the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, then he must be pleased to give honor to those who are weaker, just as does God.

The husband must also be very careful that he does not lead his wife where she should not go and wives are not commanded to obey their husbands when commanded to disobey God.

Another phrase found in verse 7 … “as being heirs together of the grace of life” reminds husbands that their wives are still equal to them in spiritual privilege and eternal importance.

as being heirs together of the grace of life

Here as elsewhere the New Testament authors couple their treatment of differences in roles of husband and wife with an implicit or explicit affirmation of their equality in status and importance

Since you are joint heirs of the grace of life reminds husbands that even though they have been given greater authority within marriage, their wives are still equal to them in spiritual privilege and eternal importance: they are ‘joint heirs’. Here as elsewhere the New Testament authors couple their treatment of differences in roles of husband and wife with an implicit or explicit affirmation of their equality in status and importance

The New King James Version. (1982). (). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.” reminds husbands that even though they have been given greater authority within marriage, their wives are still equal to them in spiritual privilege and eternal importance: they are ‘joint heirs’. Here as elsewhere the New Testament authors couple their treatment of differences in roles of husband and wife with an implicit or explicit affirmation of their equality in status and importance

Grudem, W. A. (1988). 1 Peter: an introduction and commentary (Vol. 17, p. 153). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

A husband and wife are “heirs together.”

If the wife shows submission and the husband consideration, and if both submit to Christ and follow His example, then they will have an enriching experience in their marriage.

The husband must also be very careful that he does not lead his wife where she should not go and wives are not commanded to obey their husbands when commanded to disobey God.

Together, both husband and wife must treasure their marriage.

Ephesians 5:33 NKJV

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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When a young couple starts dating, the boy is courteous and thoughtful. After they get engaged, he shows even more courtesy and always acts like a gentleman. Sad to say, soon after they get married, many a husband forgets to be kind and gentlemanly and starts taking his wife for granted. He forgets that happiness in a home is made up of many little things, including the small courtesies of life.

Big resentments often grow out of small hurts.

Husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, admit hurts, and seek for forgiveness and healing.

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A husband can disagree with his wife and still respect and honor her. As the spiritual leader in the home, the husband must sometimes make decisions that are not popular; but he can still act with courtesy and respect.

“Giving honor” means that the husband respects his wife’s feelings, thinking, and desires. He may not agree with her ideas, but he respects them. Often God balances a marriage so that the husband needs what the wife has in her personality, and she likewise needs his good qualities. An impulsive husband often has a patient wife, and this helps to keep him out of trouble!

The husband must be the “thermostat” in the home, setting the emotional and spiritual temperature. The wife often is the “thermometer,” letting him know what that temperature is! Both are necessary. The husband who is sensitive to his wife’s feelings will not only make her happy, but will also grow himself and help his children live in a home that honors God.

The fourth area of responsibility is spiritual … that your prayers be not hindered.

Peter is addressing this to husbands … so Peter is not speaking of a husband and wife praying together.

Peter assumed that husbands and wives would pray together. Often, they do not; and this is the reason for much failure and unhappiness. If unconverted people can have happy homes without prayer (and they do), how much happier Christian homes would be with prayer! In fact, it is the prayer life of a couple that indicates how things are going in the home. If something is wrong, their prayers will be hindered.

This is speaking of the husband’s prayers.

And the Greek word translated hindered here is ἐγκόπτω enkoptō meaning hindered, thwarted, and obstructed.

This hindering or thwarting of prayers is a form of God’s fatherly discipline.

reminds us is ‘for our good’ and is given to those whom God ‘loves’.

Do not read below:

Hebrews 12:3–11 NKJV

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:7–8 NKJV

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

Here’s the nitty gritty:

So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he ‘interrupts’ his relationship with them when they are not doing so.

And if you are a Christian husband who is treating his wife poorly, that should make your heart shiver.

No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer.

So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he ‘interrupts’ his relationship with them when they are not doing so. No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer. And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife ‘in an understanding way, bestowing honour’ on her. To take the time to develop and maintain a good marriage is God’s will; it is serving God; it is a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight.

And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife according to the instruction of God.

v8-12

A husband and wife need to have their own private, individual prayer time each day. They also need to pray together and to have a time of “family devotion.” How this is organized will change from home to home, and even from time to time as the children grow up and schedules change. The Word of God and prayer are basic to a happy, holy home ().

A husband and wife are “heirs together.” If the wife shows submission and the husband consideration, and if both submit to Christ and follow His example, then they will have an enriching experience in their marriage. If not, they will miss God’s best and rob each other of blessing and growth. “The grace of life” may refer to children, who certainly are a heritage from God (); but even childless couples can enjoy spiritual riches if they will obey Peter’s admonitions.

It might be good if husbands and wives occasionally took inventory of their marriages. Here are some questions, based on what Peter wrote.

1. Are we partners or competitors?

2. Are we helping each other become more spiritual?

3. Are we depending on the externals or the eternals? The artificial or the real?

4. Do we understand each other better?

5. Are we sensitive to each other’s feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted?

6. Are we seeing God answer our prayers?

7. Are we enriched because of our marriage, or robbing each other of God’s blessing?

Honest answers to these questions might make a difference!

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Peter wrote this letter to prepare Christians for a “fiery trial” of persecution, yet his approach was optimistic and positive. “Prepare for the best!” was his message. In this section, he gave them three instructions to follow if they would experience the best blessings in the worst times.

Cultivate Christian Love ()

We have noted that love is a recurring theme in Peter’s letters, not only God’s love for us, but also our love for others. Peter had to learn this important lesson himself, and he had a hard time learning it! How patient Jesus had to be with him!

Not so far this morning, but a few weeks ago, I noted that love is a recurring theme in Peter’s letters.

Both God’s love for us and also our love for others.

This is a lesson that Jesus had been patient with Peter learning … and God is patient with us in our learning to love.

How patient Jesus had to be with him!

We should begin with love for God’s people ().

We should begin with love for God’s people (). The word “finally” means “to sum it all up.” Just as the whole of the Law is summed up in love (), so the whole of human relationships is fulfilled in love. This applies to every Christian and to every area of life.

The word “finally” doesn’t mean that Peter is ending his letter … there’s 2.5 more chapters to go.

It’s the Greek word τέλος telos meaning end … and it is used here to say, “to sum up what I have been talking about.”

And the phrase “having compassion for one another” is one single word … which means “being sympathetic.”

The emphases is love for God’s people.

Paul wrote in :

Romans 13:8 NKJV

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

Romans

Just as the whole of the Law is summed up in love, so the whole of human relationships is fulfilled in love.

Just as the whole of the Law is summed up in love (), so the whole of human relationships is fulfilled in love.

This applies to every Christian and to every area of life.

This love is evidenced by a unity of mind (see ). Unity does not mean uniformity; it means cooperation in the midst of diversity. The members of the body work together in unity, even though they are all different. Christians may differ on how things are to be done, but they must agree on what is to be done and why. A man criticized D.L. Moody’s methods of evangelism, and Moody said, “Well, I’m always ready for improvement. What are your methods?” The man confessed that he had none! “Then I’ll stick to my own,” said Moody. Whatever methods we may use, we must seek to honor Christ, win the lost, and build the church. Some methods are definitely not scriptural, but there is plenty of room for variety in the church.

One evidence of this love is “being like-minded.”

And that doesn’t mean uniformity.

Instead, it is cooperation even in diversity.

So then, even though there are many differences between us, we set aside differences to work together in unity.

That being said, even though Christians may differ on how things are to be done, but they must agree on what is to be done and why.

You may have a way of sharing Christ and I may have a way of sharing Christ.

Whatever methods we may use, we must seek to honor Christ, win the lost, and build the church.

We must not legitimize unscriptural practices, but there is plenty of room for variety among Christians.

Some methods are definitely not scriptural, but there is plenty of room for variety in the church.

Another evidence of love is compassion, a sincere “feeling for and with” the needs of others. Our English word “sympathy” comes from this word. We dare not get hardhearted toward each other. We must share both joys and trials (). The basis for this is the fact that we are brethren in the same family (see ; ; ; ). We are “taught of God to love one another” ().

Look back a few words and again there is compassion or sympathy … a sincere “feeling for and with” the needs of others.

Be careful not to become hardhearted toward others.

Paul wrote to the church in Rome:

Romans 12:15 NKJV

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

We are brethren in the same family … and says that we are, “Taught by God to love one another.”

Do not read below:

1 Thessalonians 4:9 NKJV

But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;

1 Thessalonians

We are to have our hearts tender toward others.

We must share both joys and trials (). The basis for this is the fact that we are brethren in the same family (see ; ; ; ). We are “taught of God to love one another” ().

I think this is something we need to remind ourselves of.

That is because we see so much bad news reported that we can grow numb to the suffering of others or brush it off saying, “They did it to themselves.”

Compassion can be cultivated by reminding ourselves not to let our hards become hardened to others, even when they are suffering because of their wrongdoing.

Also, we are told to be courteous.

Love reveals itself in pity, a tenderness of heart toward others. In the Roman Empire, this was not a quality that was admired; but the Christian message changed all of that. Today, we are deluged with so much bad news that it is easy for us to get insulated and unfeeling. We need to cultivate compassion, and actively show others that we are concerned.

This speaks of putting others ahead of yourself.

“Be courteous” involves much more than acting like a lady or gentleman. “Be humble-minded” is a good translation; and, after all, humility is the foundation for courtesy, for the humble person puts others ahead of himself.

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Things are ramped up even more by saying, “Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing.”

Not only should we love God’s people, but we should also love our enemies (). The recipients of this letter were experiencing a certain amount of personal persecution because they were doing the will of God. Peter warned them that official persecution was just around the corner, so they had better prepare. The church today had better prepare, because difficult times are ahead.

In contrast to loving God’s people … it can be much more difficult to love our enemies.

Remember that the original recipients of this letter were experiencing persecution and were about to experience even greater persecution.

They needed to prepare and determine how they were going to honor God in the suffering they were to endure.

Today, it would be wise for us to also determine how we will honor God in suffering … difficult times are ahead.

As Christians, we can live on one of three levels. We can return evil for good, which is the satanic level. We can return good for good and evil for evil, which is the human level. Or, we can return good for evil, which is the divine level. Jesus is the perfect example of this latter approach (). As God’s loving children, we must do more than give “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” (), which is the basis for justice. We must operate on the basis of mercy, for that is the way God deals with us.

Will we return good for good and evil for evil?

We can give back as good as we get!

Or, we can determine to respond as our Lord Jesus did … returning good for evil.

God deals with us on the basis of mercy, and if we want to honor Him, we also will operate on the basis of mercy.

A good example of this is Peter.

Remember how he once tried to fight Jesus’ enemies with a sword?

Jesus told him to put the sword away, and then healed the high priest’s servant.

Later, when Peter was persecuted, he depended on prayer and God’s power rather than on returning evil for evil.

This admonition must have meant much to Peter himself, because he once tried to fight Christ’s enemies with a sword (). When he was an unconverted rabbi, Paul used every means possible to oppose the church; but when he became a Christian, Paul never used human weapons to fight God’s battles (; ). When Peter and the Apostles were persecuted, they depended on prayer and God’s power, not on their own wisdom or strength (see ).

Peter’s perspective changed … he was reminded of his calling as a Christian.

This helped him love his enemies and do good to them when they treated him badly.

As believers, Peter now reminds us that we are called to inherit a blessing.

Remembering this will help us love our enemies and do them good when they treat us badly.

We must always be reminded of our calling as Christians, for this will help us love our enemies and do them good when they treat us badly. We are called to “inherit a blessing.” The persecutions we experience on earth today only add to our blessed inheritance of glory in heaven someday (). But we also inherit a blessing today when we treat our enemies with love and mercy. By sharing a blessing with them, we receive a blessing ourselves! Persecution can be a time of spiritual enrichment for a believer. The saints and martyrs in church history all bear witness to this fact.

That is because the persecutions we experience on earth today only add to our blessed inheritance of glory in heaven someday.

In , Jesus said, “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven.”

Do not read below:

Matthew 5:10–12 NKJV

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

We receive a blessing in heaven … but we also inherit a blessing today when we treat our enemies with love and mercy.

We receive our commendation from God, for “The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers.”

So then … What may appear to be “difficult days to come” to the world can be “things are looking up” for a Christian, if he believes God at His Word.

We should love one another, love our enemies, and love life (). The news of impending persecution should not cause a believer to give up on life. What may appear to be “bad days” to the world can be “good days” for a Christian, if he will only meet certain conditions.

We can decide to endure life and make it a burden.

First, we must deliberately decide to love life. This is an act of the will: “He who wills to love life.” It is an attitude of faith that sees the best in every situation. It is the opposite of the pessimistic attitude expressed in : “Therefore I hated life … for all is vanity and vexation of spirit.” We can decide to endure life and make it a burden, escape life as though we were running from a battle, or enjoy life because we know God is in control. Peter was not suggesting some kind of unrealistic psychological gymnastics that refused to face facts. Rather, he was urging his readers to take a positive approach to life and by faith make the most of every situation.

We can determine to escape life as though we were running from a battle and miss out on the blessing of family, friends, and church fellowship.

Or we can enjoy life because we know God is in control and take a positive approach to life, even in the face of persecution.

That doesn’t mean we are accepting of evil.

Second, we must control our tongues. Many of the problems of life are caused by the wrong words, spoken in the wrong spirit. Every Christian should read regularly and pray daily. How well Peter knew the sad consequences of hasty speech! There is no place for lies in the life of a saint.

Rather, Peter, in quoting from tells us to “Turn away from evil and do good.”

Third, we must do good and hate evil. We need both the positive and the negative. The Old English word “eschew” means more than just “avoid.” It means “to avoid something because you despise and loathe it.” It is not enough for us to avoid sin because sin is wrong; we ought to shun it because we hate it.

It is not enough for us to avoid sin because sin is wrong … we ought to shun it because we hate it.

And also, “seek peace and pursue it.”

Trouble can be found if we seek it out.

So can peace … not peace at any price, but peace on the basis of righteousness.

So then, sometimes it is not possible.

Paul wrote:

Romans 12:18 NKJV

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

However, admonishes us to work hard to achieve peace … meaning, it doesn’t come automatically.

It simply means that a Christian exercises moderation as he relates to people and does not create problems because he wants to have his own way. “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (). Sometimes it is not possible! See where we are also admonished to work hard to achieve peace. It does not come automatically.

Finally, we must seek and pursue peace. “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (). If we go out and seek trouble, we will find it; but if we seek peace, we can find it as well. This does not mean “peace at any price,” because righteousness must always be the basis for peace (). It simply means that a Christian exercises moderation as he relates to people and does not create problems because he wants to have his own way. “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (). Sometimes it is not possible! See where we are also admonished to work hard to achieve peace. It does not come automatically.

If we take this approach, will our enemies try to take advantage of us?

Absolutely, yes.

But God is not distant … but His eyes are on the righteous and His ears open to their prayers.

“But what if our enemies take advantage of us?” a persecuted Christian might ask. “We may be seeking peace, but they are seeking war!” Peter gave them the assurance that God’s eyes are on His people and His ears open to their prayers. (Peter learned that lesson when he tried to walk on the water without looking to Jesus—.) We must trust God to protect and provide, for He alone can defeat our enemies ().

We must trust God to protect and provide, for He alone can defeat our enemies ().

Paul, writing to another group of persecuted Christians said:

Romans 12:19–21 NKJV

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans

Peter quoted these statements from , so it would be profitable for you to read the entire psalm. It describes what God means by “good days.” They are not necessarily days free from problems, for the psalmist wrote about fears (), troubles (, ), afflictions (), and even a broken heart (). A “good day” for the believer who “loves life” is not one in which he is pampered and sheltered, but one in which he experiences God’s help and blessing because of life’s problems and trials. It is a day in which he magnifies the Lord (), experiences answers to prayer (), tastes the goodness of God (), and senses the nearness of God ().

Let’s stop here and we’ll pick it up with verse 13 next week:

The next time you think you are having a “bad day,” and you hate life, read and you may discover you are really having a “good day” to the glory of God!

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for this time we have had together worshipping You and studying Your Word. We thank you that You are faithful and Your mercy endures forever. Increase our love for one another and for all, establish us in all things. Keep our minds and our hands from evil and protect us from the deceptions of our enemy the devil. Thank You for the trials that You graciously see us and grow us through. May You be glorified in our trials. Thank You for being our Great High Priest. Lord, we place ourselves before you to do Your will. Lead us in victory, and use us to spread knowledge of Jesus Christ to the unsaved world.

For the husband, in Christ we see a beautiful blending of strength, goodness, grace, dependability, trustworthiness, and affection … things that make for a good husband.

Peter also pointed to Sarah as a model for Christian wives to follow.

In verse 6, we will see that Peter used Abraham’s wife, Sarah as an example.

By no means was Sarah perfect.

But she was a very good wife to Abraham … also named in for her great faith in the LORD.

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