Worth the Wait

Romans 5:5–8 KJV 1900

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:5–8 KJV 1900

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

At what age is it okay to start dating? It might be one age for you as a teenager and another when you have children, especially daughters.

At what age is it okay to start dating? It might be one age for you as a teenager and another when you have children, especially daughters.

We live in a sexualized world that often leaves many confused about what is right and what does God really say about marriage. I want to be an advocate for marriage today.

The divine image is expressed as both male and female, and so the man and woman are equally human despite their physical, anatomical and procreative differences. As they are joined together as husband and wife their unity and diversity is expressed. "So a man will leave his father and his mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh" (). Here we have a blueprint for human sexual love – through the sexual act the man and woman have a new, incredible kind of intimacy. This is called being "one flesh" – designed to be exclusive and faithful. Both Jesus and Paul pick up on this in the New Testament – emphasising the beauty of monogamous marriage.

In this way, the question of how sex outside marriage could be wrong can be approached by looking at the beauty, intimacy and preciousness of sex. God designed that this happen in a safe and committed context of love and devotion. According to the maker, this is where sex is at its best.

How can sex be wrong? It may come as a surprise that the biblical view of sex is extremely positive. God thought of sex – he gave us this wonderful expression of love for another. There is a whole book of the Old Testament devoted to extolling the beauty of sex and showing God's delight in what he has made pleasurable and good.

The very beginning of the Bible lays a foundation for a Judaeo-Christian approach to sex. The early chapters of Genesis tell us that God created the first man and woman and, seeing what He had made, declared that it was "very good". Genesis provides the original context for sexual intercourse and shows that God has designed this wonderful thing to be expressed within a lifelong marital relationship between one man and one woman. Jesus grounds his teaching on sexuality on those words.

Sex, of course, is a topic overflowing with religious, religious, cultural, political, and personal baggage. Much of our popular culture is built around sexual titillation.

As a people, we’re alternately conflicted, fascinated, and appalled by sex in all its forms. Lawmakers crusade against pornography while their constituents consume it in record amounts.

We, as a culture, are obsessed with sex. It is a billion dollar industry.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 289-290). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 289). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Sex is pleasurable. Sex between two people who love each other body and soul is transcendent. But more often than not, that’s not the kind of sex most people are having.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 291-293). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

We’ve seen a lot of people whose higher aspirations for love, family, and success have landed on the rocks because they put the pursuit of sex before anything else.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 302-303). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 303). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

The Bible teaches that to be the people we truly wanted to be, we need to take sex out of the equation.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 306-307). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

First, God ought to come first in our lives. As we live and begin to serve God, we should put our focus and determination on serving God, learning about him, and finding our true calling and identity in Christ. As we grow and develop in Him, he is preparing us for the life he has planned and chosen for us.

At the same time, our mate is also being prepared for the same. It’s God’s plan on how to prepare us for what is ahead.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 311). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 311-313). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

We focus on the now. What we want now, what we see and desire now. We give no thought to the future or the will and plan of God for our lives.

1 John 2:16 KJV 1900

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

2 Corinthians 6:17 KJV 1900

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

The problem in this world is that even while we are children, we are feed with images and wordly views of sex and it develops lustful desires and ungodly views of the opposite sex and how we view them.

Look at how just recently in our media all those who are being found and exposed in sexual misconduct and immorality. The devil has lied to us and bewitched our society in believing that it’s okay to have sex before marriage and with multiple partners.

Celibacy is about the mind as much as it is about the body. When we think about celibacy, we focus on the physical need to have sex. But being celibate isn’t just about pushing down that hormonal need to engage in intercourse. It’s about owning how you feel, even when those feelings are coming on. It’s choosing to discipline the mind and think of the benefit you seek, something that is greater than the desire to give in.

If you look at the reasons sex is important to you, you’ll probably find that they are less important than having what you want in life and getting closer to God. That will change how you think about sex and make it easier to resist your physical urges.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 388-391). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Too often we rush to sex and never develop clarity and communication and closeness in our relationships. By waiting until marriage, we can find our identity as a couple. We can discuss our dreams, goals, desires, and future. We can learn to serve God together and have our spiritual ears tuned into God’s plan for our lives.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 394-396). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Once you reframe sex as a choice, you can reframe celibacy as a commitment in your relationship. Listen up men, if you can be disciplined in your sexual life, there’s nothing you can’t do. The discipline that you create in that area of your life will be the same for the rest of your life. You are telling that young lady you’re dating that “she’s worth the wait.”

Sex isn’t sinful. Sometimes people of faith have strange, outdated ideas about what sex is. Once again: sex itself is not sinful. Sex isn’t wrong. God created the sexual act and the physical and emotional drives that make us want to have sex. Sex is an act of creation, even if it doesn’t result in a child. It creates joy and intimacy between two people. God-ordained sex between two people who are committed to each other in marriage, who know each other fully and are giving of themselves to each other, body and spirit—that is sanctified.

God won’t leave you guessing. He will send you signs that it’s time to slow down, quiet your mind, and work on yourself while He labors on your behalf. But it’s up to you to read the signs that it’s time to wait. They include:

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 412-415). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 411-412). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

• A breakup

• Physical or mental or emotional exhaustion

• Negative or hurtful people leaving your life

• The feeling of being lost or purposeless

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 398). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

• An opportunity to go on a long trip or retreat

• The awareness that you’ve been repeating the same relationship mistakes for years

• Persistent frustration and lack of peace

Not all of God’s signs are enjoyable. Some are unpleasant or painful. But if that’s what it takes to get your attention, it’s worth it. Pay attention to the events and patterns in your life. Is God telling you to wait? If you haven’t been listening, now is a good time to start. If not, you might squander time that you’ll never get back.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 417-426). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 399-400). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

What would it be for your life it you said “I’ll wait” or “Let’s wait” and take the time to develop us and our relationship with God. Let’s pray and study His word together.

We are confident that saving sex until after marriage will yield the best results, both for you as an individual and for you and your partner. we believe that to gain all the blessings connected to waiting, celibacy should continue until you make that vow of lasting commitment.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 426-428). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

You will see the overwhelming and life changing grace of God. By waiting, you are putting God first and making him the foundation of your union.

Waiting for sex isn’t easy, but no important thing is ever easy. It’s a sacrifice, but a worthwhile one. Finally enjoying sex with each other after marriage is incredible, but it was also the consummation of something holy.

Influential philosopher St. Thomas Aquinas said, “A person is said to be patient . . . because he acts in a praiseworthy manner by enduring things which hurt him here and now and is not unduly saddened by them.” We consider patience a virtue and impatience a vice, but why? In part, it’s because a patient disposition tends to give us a healthier perspective on the ups and downs of daily living. Because we’re not expecting everything to come our way overnight, we keep the big picture in mind. We’re less likely to become angry or depressed at life’s trivial setbacks. The impatient person can’t understand why everything isn’t working out as planned and is more likely to react to a minor misfortune by becoming frustrated, giving up, or doing something foolish.

I’m talking about delaying gratification until you are married to your life long partner. We live in a culture where most people hurl themselves blindly into the path of every possible relationship. In that world, who’s most interesting and desirable? The person who has the confidence not to date every warm body that comes along but instead is selective.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 460). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 461-462). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 464-470). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 464). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Ultimately, if your desire to please God is greater than your desire to please yourself (and even the person you may be dating), then God will bring you boundless blessings. Tether your will to wait to your desire to please God, and He will bless you and honor your commitment in ways that will surprise you and improve your life.

Happiness is pleasure without regret. —LEO TOLSTOY

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 521-523). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

God designed sex and love to be a power combination in marriage. However, when sex and love don’t end in marriage—which describes the outcome of most sexual flings and love affairs—the result is oftentimes painful.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 525-527). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Many of us still bear the wounds and the sorrow sorrow from those lost loves or flings. But do we give ourselves time to heal? No, not typically. Suffering from post-traumatic relationship disorder, we take the only prescription we know: we bury the feelings that we aren’t ready to deal with, go into denial mode, and look for escape in other sexual relationships. But we need time to really process the pain we’ve gone through and properly heal so that we don’t make the same mistakes again. Reason number one to practice The Wait: it’s a time to heal when the only one who matters is you.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 538-540). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 546-547). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Location 548). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

The New American Commentary: Romans 3. Living in the Spirit (8:1–39)

Paul’s penchant for using comparisons as an effective method of instruction is clearly seen in this section. There are two distinct and contrasting ways of living. One is to follow the dictates of one’s lower nature. Those who choose to live according to their sinful nature set their mind and heart on what that nature desires. “Their thoughts are shaped by the lower nature” (Weymouth).131 People’s decisions about how they intend to live determines how they think about things. Moral choice precedes and determines intellectual orientation. People do not think themselves into the way they act but act themselves into the way they think. Ethical decision, more often than misguided reason, lies at the heart of error.

The other way to live is to place oneself under the control of the Spirit. In this case people focus their interests on the things of the Spirit. In Galatians 5 Paul contrasted the acts of the sinful nature with the fruit of the Spirit (vv. 19–23); sexual immorality, fits of rage, and selfish ambition (to name but three of the fifteen) are set over against such qualities as love, kindness, and self-control.

Eagles and how they mate

Waiting for sex is a powerful tool for taking control of our impulses and creating positive habits. The Wait applies to every area of romantic life and relationships, from whom we choose to date to when to get serious. look, income, or position. The Wait reminds us that while we have the power of choice, much of what happens in our life is still subject to God’s control. Our hands are on the wheel, but so are God’s. We can steer with him, because we do have control over our choices, our habits, and how we use the gifts we’ve been given.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 548-552). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 573-575). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Waiting for sex is a powerful tool for taking control of our impulses and creating positive habits. The Wait applies to every area of romantic life and relationships, from whom we choose to date to when to get serious. look, income, or position. The Wait reminds us that while we have the power of choice, much of what happens in our life is still subject to God’s control. Our hands are on the wheel, but so are God’s. We can steer with him, because we do have control over our choices, our habits, and how we use the gifts we’ve been given.

I believe in you!

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 439-440). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 435-436). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.

Franklin, DeVon. The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love (Kindle Locations 576-579). Howard Books. Kindle Edition.