What is love?

(Play song)

Ask for definitions.

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition love

1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties 〈maternal love for a child〉

(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers

(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests 〈love for his old schoolmates〉

What do all these things have in common? Feelings. Now feelings aren’t bad but they can’t be in the drivers seat.

If love was a feeling then how long would marriages last? If you had kids and love were a feeling how long till you would kick them out?

If love was a feeling how long would marriages last? Maybe this is why we are in so much trouble in America.

I see hashtags with stuff like #lovewins but what does that even mean?

What is real Love? A wise man once said

“The highest form of love is to lay down your life for your friend.”

Would you agree with this statement? If someone were to die for you we would say that IS love.

Jesus was that wise man and he demonstrated his love for us by dying on the cross. He also spoke through Paul in the book of Corinthians to describe love.

1 Cor 13:

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This passage is used in many weddings. But as always we need to understand the context it is in.

Paul was writing the the Corinthian church who thought they were the bee's knees because they had the wonderful outward gifts of the Spirit. They thought they had reached the heights form of spirituality. Paul was correcting them. He was letting them know that Love is the highest form.

In our context i don't see us trying to use spiritual gifts to out do one another. But I do see us missing what real Love is.

Our world is searching for love. And we are being told that we must “follow our heart” if we are to find it.

But God who invited love and who IS love told us something so different!

Love is seeking and choosing to put someone else in front of yourself.

Agape

The New Testament was written in Greek and there were 4 Greek words that could be translated to “Love”.

From Dave G.

i. Eros was one word for love. It described, as we might guess from the word itself, erotic love. It refers to sexual love.

ii. Storge was the second word for love. It refers to family love, the kind of love there is between a parent and child, or between family members in general.

iii. Philia is the third word for love. It speaks of a brotherly friendship and affection. It is the love of deep friendship and partnership. It might be described as the highest love of which man, without God’s help, is capable of.

v. Agape is the fourth word for love. It is a love that loves without changing. It is a self-giving love that gives without demanding or expecting repayment. It is love so great that it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing. It is love that loves even when it is rejected. Agape love gives and loves because it wants to; it does not demand or expect repayment from the love given. It gives because it loves; it does not love in order to receive. According to Alan Redpath, we get our English word agony from agape. “It means the actual absorption of our being in one great passion.” (Redpath) Strictly speaking, agape can’t be defined as “God’s love,” because men are said to agape sin and the world ( and ). But it can be defined as a sacrificial, giving, absorbing kind of love. The word has little to do with emotion; it has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another.

Wow that is real love. We really should have different worlds to describe these different kinds of love.

We can say “I love this taco” or “I love my mom”.

I hope you don’t feel the same way about a tacos as you do about your mom.

So ladies and guys if someone says they “love” you maybe you need to ask if they don’t mean Eros.

Maybe they really mean lust. Sexuality is a good and holy thing that is part of one relationship but should not be mistaken for the highest form of love. We are going to talk about that more next week.

If you really want to know if someone loves you lets take a look at how God defines love.

Lets look at what Love really is

And notice these aren’t theoretic concepts but actions!

Love is patient and Kind

Love isn’t in a rush. It is thoughtful towards another person.

Love does not envy or boast

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition envy

1 : painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

Love does not boast. It is not showy for its own sake. It is not trying to attract attention. It is not seeking its own glory.

Real love doesn’t need to by loud or make a fuss.

It isn’t arrogant or rude

And arrogant person is all about making oneself look good. To look better then you really are.

Rude = uncouth

Love does not insist on its own way

This is huge. Love isn’t forceful. If someone is trying to force you to do something that is not love!

Love is not irritable or resentful

Easy to bother. Grouchy

be annoyed with someone.

Rejoices with the truth not wrongdoings

Always wants to truth

Literally this means “love does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.” Love will put away the hurts of the past instead of clinging to them.

Love bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things

This kind of love is unstoppable.

This last list is what really makes us question our love. I can do a lot of these things some of the time but not all the time.

In fact humans are unable to love this way on our own. Even in our best relationships we will fail. And if you have been in any relationship you have had someone fail to love you.

But there is good news.

1 John 4:19 ESV

We love because he first loved us.

We don’t have this true love in ourselves. Just like Kyle taught last week. This is a fruit of the Spirit. We need God to be able to love like that.

We are able to love because we have first been loved by God and if we believe God his spirit fills us and his love can flow out of us.