Manipulation (2)

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In Journey to the East, Hermann Hesse described the activities and relationships of explorers who were sent on a difficult mission by a certain order. A servant, Leo, cared for their every need: prepared the food, washed their clothes, and was at their beck and call. In terms of protocol, he was the lowest of the least. As the mission progressed, Leo’s adaptability and spirit proved invaluable. The servant’s worth became more evident when their ship was wrecked and Leo was missing. Trying to proceed without him proved impossible. Eventually one member of the party made his way back to headquarters, where he met the leader. And, lo, it was none other than Leo! Though assuming the role of servant during the expedition, in reality he was their leader. Hesse was saying: real leadership has more to do with service than with status.
Is servanthood the mentality of leadership today? Being a servant seems clear to us in the scriptures to be a vital or a foundational characteristic of a leader. But today we tend to find something quite a bit different. Yes, many will declare the right slogans. You do not exist to provide for me, but I am here to provide for you. You are not to provide me with possessions, but I am to provide you with freedom. I am not concerned with status, but with service.With all the recent elections... whether you are a citizen of the US or not, we have something to compare pertaining to leadership. What is it that makes a good leader today? What are the skills and what are the characteristics? Many times it is said that a good leader should be wise. Agreed! However, today we think they are wise, but in reality they are just good manipulators. Many times today we think they must be of good moral character, but instead we want those who will give us what we want. Thats why they look great on TV, but not so much at home or work. Can we tell the difference between wisdom and crafty manipulation? Do we care? Can we differentiate between a person who is simply captivating or one that is of good character? Do we care? One who is a servant or one of the served? Service or status? Do we care? If you do, today, we will get some insight from David and the kingdom of Israel.
With all the recent elections... whether you are a citizen of the US or not, we have something to compare pertaining to leadership. What is it that makes a good leader today? What are the skills and what are the characteristics? Many times it is said that a good leader should be wise. Agreed! However, today we think they are wise, but in reality they are just good manipulators. Many times today we think they must be of good moral character, but instead we want those who will give us what we want. Thats why they look great on TV, but not so much at home or work. Can we tell the difference between wisdom and crafty manipulation? Do we care? Can we differentiate between a person who is simply captivating or one that is of good character? Do we care? One who is a servant or one of the served? Service or status? Do we care? If you do, today, we will get some insight from David and the kingdom of Israel.
It seems that David mourned the loss of his sons. Amnon was killed, and Absalom the one who killed him was now banished. Because David was to uphold justice in the land, Absalom must remain banished much to his dismay. However, Joab could not take it anymore and came up with a plan to get Absalom back home. He sent a wise woman from Tekoa to persuade David with a parable and turning it on him so that he would reflect on the error of his ways (though not actually an error). David relented and called for the return of his son Absalom, but would not let him into his presence. Absalom lived Jerusalem for 2 years and was not able to see the king. Absalom sent for Joab to intercede for him but Joab would not come. Finally, Absalom got his attention when he burned one of Joab's fields. Joab finally got in touch with him and Absalom urged him to intercede for him with the king. He did and David called for Absalom. He bowed before the king and David kissed him sparking the whole series of unfortunate future events.
2 Samuel 14:25–27 NLT
Now Absalom was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel. He was flawless from head to foot. He cut his hair only once a year, and then only because it was so heavy. When he weighed it out, it came to five pounds! He had three sons and one daughter. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she was very beautiful.
2 Samuel 14:25
The Grass withers the flower fades but the word of our God stands forever.
Crafty
Captivation
Christ
In our passage today we will first look at the deception of crafty manipulation and how it can be mistaken for wisdom. Secondly, we will look at the mistake we make by judging those who we believe to be fit for leadership by how captivating they are rather than the content of their character. Finally, we will see the image of our great servant leader, Christ.
Thesis: Though sin and the pattern of this world cause us to fall into more and more deception, manipulation, and ungodly captivation when it comes to leadership and how we respond to it, it is the Lord that sees the mess we face as He leads by serving and winning salvation for us all; being rewarded by the Father with all authority in heaven and on earth given to him; sitting at the right hand of the Father while He makes all of His enemies His footstool.
I. Crafty
Do we have issues today with being able to differentiate between wisdom and manipulation?
A. Interesting here. Amnon relied on the wisdom of Jonadab and here Joab relies on the wise woman from Tekoa. And in both cases, the plan worked. Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
B. Another interesting point. The woman gave David a little parable, just like Nathan did when confronting David about his sin with Bathsheba and in both cases, amazingly the plan worked. Well maybe not amazing.
C. Make it believable. Pretend you are in mourning; wear mourning clothes and don’t put on lotions. Act like a woman who has been mourning for the dead for a long time. Then go to the king and tell him the story I am about to tell you.” Then Joab told her what to say. And what a story. What a trap. Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
2 Samuel 14:
2 Samuel 14:5–7 NLT
“What’s the trouble?” the king asked. “Alas, I am a widow!” she replied. “My husband is dead. My two sons had a fight out in the field. And since no one was there to stop it, one of them was killed. Now the rest of the family is demanding, ‘Let us have your son. We will execute him for murdering his brother. He doesn’t deserve to inherit his family’s property.’ They want to extinguish the only coal I have left, and my husband’s name and family will disappear from the face of the earth.”
D. David responded... Don't you worry. I will make sure he is not touched. He fell for it. Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
E. Ok my King. If you would do this for me have you not just convicted yourself in this? Why are you punishing yourself and your people by banishing your son? You have spared me from being cut off from my inheritance, why don’t you do the same to yourself? You are a good man. Like an angel. (Now she adds the flattery) Fine skilled woman she is. Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
F. One commentator puts it this way. First, the woman means to give the impression that her own personal problem is the reason for her appearance and the case of the exiled king’s son is mentioned only incidentally, as a related instance. By the construction of her address she means to make what is, of course, her main concern, the case of Absalom, seem to be a subsidiary matter. We have heard this before have we not? Speaking in a way that forces a person to have to read between the lines. Saying something without saying it. Doing everything we can to say NO without actually saying NO?
G. The problem was that David was not fooled by it. Nice try...Tell me the truth did Joab put you up to this? She was stuck, David smelled the rat...so she acknowledged. Yes. But Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
H. Though the plan was not without its bumps, it still accomplished its goal and Absalom was coming home. Amazing. Well maybe not amazing.
I. She was called a wise woman, but was it really wisdom? Seriously? Well number 1. The argument was not really a perfect parallel. Her son killed the other in a moment of passion, but as we saw in the last chapter, Absalom planned it for 2 years. Number 2. It was all conceived to deceive. It was built upon deception. It was crafty. It was cunning. Amazingly it worked. Well maybe not amazing.
J. This is not Amazing. This is called manipulation... defined as control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously. And this is so unbecoming of a leader. Joab- the commander in chief of David's army. Yes, a leader skilled in manipulation. Or one that sees the benefit of manipulation.
K. This is a problem today. Many times wisdom in leadership is confused with manipulation. We may say that a leader is wise because he was able to motivate people to complete a specific action, but in reality he was skilled in manipulation and got people to do it through control, influence, unfairly. We say that a leader is successful and wise, but in actuality its manipulation. Is this what we desire in leadership? I think we do.
L. This is why it’s not amazing… because manipulation works!!! If it didn’t then we would not do it! The bottom line is that skilled manipulators get things done. Is this not the kind of society we live in? Success in accomplishing the goal. Getting things done, no matter how we do it, is that not the point? You ever heard it said... I don't care how… just get it done! Of course we can see the problem. Its deceptive, it's unfair control, and it's unscrupulous influence. This is not right. But it works. Is it wrong, yes but it works.
M. Now it is easy to look at our leaders and judge them for their manipulation, but in many ways it is understandable. Why? Because we also live in a time where no one likes authority and no one wants to be told what to do. Some leaders resort to manipulation because people do not comply. How do leaders successfully lead people who do not want to submit to authority? Why is it that we cannot just obey our leaders like the Bible pretty much commands us to do?
Hebrews 13:
Hebrews 13:17 NLT
Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.
- Interesting side note. When you type in Obey your leaders... the only thing that comes up on google is scripture and blogs dealing with submission to church authorities as to whether or not we should obey.
N. I had a boss when I was in college who would say ...all the time. Hey Shane do me a favor and organize the shelf, or lock up the back, or take out the trash. Any time he told be to do something... he said "do me a favor." I said you can just tell me to do it. You are my boss. He said yeah but people don't like it. And I get it. We live in an individualistic culture... Don't tell me what to do, I do what I want. As a leader, it is understandable.
O. Nevertheless, this is still no excuse for there to be manipulation. What is the difference... a leadership expert said it this way, the difference between manipulation and leadership is motive. And does that not cover it all right there. Motive. Even when you do good things, if your heart is not right, it is a sin! We all can get so concerned with success that we lose sight of how we get it. Is not how we get it done just as important? It is important to worship the Lord, but is how we worship Him not as important?
P. In opposition to our culture, skill in manipulation is not a characteristic of good leadership and neither is the second thing we see here. Number 2...
II. Captivation
- When we look at what it means to be a leader do we tend to focus on how captivating they are or who they are? Captivation or Character?
A. The Author of 2 Samuel is eloquently painting a picture as to what is coming up. If you know the story you know what's coming. He is describing the man Absalom. This is the consensus as to what is good about him in the eyes of everyone.
B. This is a description of the man that will lead many to a rebellion against his own father. We see here the prince of Israel as the cover model of GQ magazine. Our pastor is so awesome and an amazing leader. Really why? He was on the cover of GQ magazine.
C. Dr. Davis writes, Here is Mr. Israel, the darling of the media, the choice of photographers, enchanted with his own locks, with three sons and a beautiful daughter, the latter appropriately named after her gorgeous aunty Tamar.
D. All that is here said of Absalom is… 1. That he was a very handsome man. 2. That he had a very fine head of hair. 3. That his family began to be built up. Remember… house growing is a sign of strength.
1. That he was a very handsome man …
- Matthew Henry aptly remarks, ‘Nothing is said of his wisdom and piety.’ And we ask: Is this leadership?
2. That he had a very fine head of hair …
E. The media and society has painted this picture for years. The focus is what is on the outside instead of what is inside. Does he look good? Back to the future… no wonder the future president is an actor, he has to look good on TV. The reality is we pick style over substance. Manner over matter. Cosmetics over content. Captivation over character. This should sound familiar to you just a few months ago… Saul.
1 Samuel
1 Samuel 9:2 NLT
His son Saul was the most handsome man in Israel—head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land.
3. That his family began to be built up … Remember… house growing is a sign of strength.
F. In all cases if we look to physical presence before men apart from true submission to the Lord it will end in some sort of small or large disaster. When the author writes this, he is probably showing us that this is another Saul and are we going to see one? Yes. We continue to see this today.
G. And so today...what is at stake? Think about this... Thomas Reeves writes, "It hardly surprises us that a president who cultivated a public image of warm, devoted family life would also, with his secret service agents, plod the tunnels under New York’s streets, flashlights in hand, on the way to a waiting sexual liaison in another hotel or apartment; nor are we surprised to learn that this was a pattern from his first day in office." Was it really a surprise that this happens today?
H. And in the future of our own country... when immoral or deceptive things happen, are we really gonna be surprised over the next 4 years? I don’t think so. Should we be surprised? No. But this might surprise you. We asked for it. Oh yeah we did. We are only getting what we deserve. Because if we are honest with ourselves, we will see that this is not just our country, but our church. Sadly, there is actually a category for these leaders. They are called fortune 500 pastors.
I. These are those who are... winsome, charismatic, executive like pastors who exude warmth and success. Known more for their humor than for their spirituality, today’s market-sensitive pastors are relationally savvy.… Instead of eliciting deep feelings of guilt as the old revivalists did, these pastors lift the spirit, promote optimism and make people feel good about themselves.
J. My question is... And how exactly do they do this? I want all of that for our church too. So I foolishly ask; I won’t foolishly tell you what was said.
K. The bottom line is that everyone desires change for the better… especially Christians. But we have lost sight of what is important. It is our duty to proclaim the Gospel to this world. We put our trust in public policy when it should be in the Gospel. We go to rallies to protest against policy, but the church is empty when it comes to praying for the lost. Our country is gonna change when the people change! And what is the power of God for salvation and transformation? The Gospel.
L. The Apostles changed the whole world, not just a country. Did they do it by getting the right political party in office? No! They preached the Gospel. The elections will not change America for the better. It is the church waking up to who we are and what the Lord has called us to be … will do it. The disciples of Christ did not set out to change the World. They set out to preach the gospel. And by doing that they changed the world. Leadership… it is not ruling it is about responsibility. It is gonna begin with the church.
III. Christ
- Our Servant Leader.
A. Both the Apostle’s and Christ are calling us to look for something different. We are to look for servant leaders. We need to look for a Captain Leo. The crew thought that he was one of them, serving them and showing how much of a leader he was to them even before he was a leader. Caring more about service than status.
Mark 10:
Mark 10:42–45 NLT
So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
B. As we can see, even the Son of Man. The King of kings and the Alpha and Omega. The Word made flesh. God incarnate, was a servant to us. He was not like Joab who conspired and manipulated nor was he like Absalom who was judged by the outward appearance... Hello can anything good come out of Nazareth?
C. He was a better King and He was a better leader who not just lead us in all truth but gave his life up for us so that we could have life and life more abundant. Our King brought to us the blessings of God and a kingdom that can never be shaken. He came to serve others. And this is why we gather today and every Lord's Day for the work that he has done for us. Salvation is here. There is forgiveness for us. Forgiveness for leaders who have sinned and all of us who have contributed to the mess.
D. All who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and God raised him from the dead you will be saved. If you feel a change in you and you believe that Jesus is the Christ the Son of the Living God, he has transformed you and given you new life. Jesus died for our sins according to the scriptures and he was buried and he was raised from the dead...
E. For everyone else remember what the Lord has done for us. It is because of His grace and mercy that we have all of the blessings that we have in Christ. In Christ is our hope, our strength and our community. The Gospel is the answer for life and it will continue to be for the rest of our lives. The gospel is the power for us to love each other and to serve one another. It is the power for forgiveness.... to forgive one another.
F. Jesus said it Himself…
Matthew 28:18 NLT
Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.
Romans 13:1
Romans 13:1 NLT
Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.
G. Today let rest in the words of the prophet...
Psalm 89:11 NLT
The heavens are yours, and the earth is yours; everything in the world is yours—you created it all.
Psalm 89
H. Family…He is in Control
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