Forgive One Another
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Forgive One Another
Forgive One Another
Philemon 1:8
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus,
“You are never more Christlike than when you forgive.”
The book of Philemon is one of Paul’s prison epistles, but this one was addressed to an individual — Philemon.
The book is probably the most needed book concerning church life. The theme, the purpose, the reason for the book is most needed of humanity. This world is a world of selfishness, decadence, blameshifting, offended, resentful, bitterness, vengeful, anger, hate, hostility, murder —
and unforgiveness. The church lives among the world but we cannot be apart of that and the one thing that will bring all this infection in quickest is unforgiveness.
The background to the book is that Philemon had been led to saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ by Paul several years earlier, probably at Ephesus. Philemon became a prominent member in the church at Colossae. He was apparently wealthy because he had a home large enough for the church to met in. Paul called him a “friend and coworker” indicating that he was active in serving the cause of Christ.
Philemon owned at least one slave, a man named Onesimus. Onesimus was not a Christian and ran away to Rome, no doubt to get lost in the multitudes in the imperial city. While in Rome, Onesimus providentially met the apostle Paul, either through Epaphras, or possibly he sought him out himself. Whatever the circumstances, it’s certain that his life was forever changed because he came to know the Lord Jesus Christ.
Onesimus endeared himself to Paul and Paul to Onesimus. He lived up to his name — Onesimus — “useful.” Paul was glad to have his help. But there was a matter that needed to be settled — Onesimus was a runaway slave, a fugitive from the law. In running away from his master he defrauded Philemon, and according to verse 18, may have stolen something valuable. And Paul now wanted to settle this serious issue.
The seriousness of the issue was not slavery, but the need of forgiveness. Philemon needed to forgive Onesimus, and Onesimus needed to be reconciled to Philemon. This is one of the greatest personal issues in church life — forgiveness and reconciliation. It mirrors our need before God.
And in this particular circumstance, there was great sacrifice to be made on all accounts. If Onesimus returned to his master, it was great sacrifice for Paul since Onesimus was of great usefulness to Paul. But it was also of great risk to Onesimus because Roman law imposed no limits to the power a master had over his slave. Under Roman law a runaway slave and thief had no claim to forgiveness. But the greatest risk was to the cause of Christ if Philemon did not forgive Onesimus and receive him not as a slave, but as a brother in Christ.
Paul sends Onesimus under the protection of Tychicus with a letter to Philemon. In the letter he urges Philemon to forgive Onesimus and receive him as a brother in Christ. More than that, Paul implores Philemon to treat Onesimus as Christ treated him.
Forgiveness is so important that the Holy Spirit devoted an entire book of the Bible to the subject — but not by teaching, or by parable, or by doctrinal principles. This was brought powerfully by a real life situation involving two people dear to Paul. And the implications of this real life situation are so enormous, so vital that the Apostle powerfully lays out:
3 Aspects of Forgiveness
The Godly Nature of One who forgives
The Godly Actions of One who forgives
The Godly Motives of One who forgives
Now I want you to imagine the scene. Tychicus has come to the home of Philemon and when Philemon answers the door he see Tychicus and he also sees standing behind him — Onesimus. Can you imagine the thoughts running through Philemon’s mind as he invites them both in and Onesimus shuffles past Philemon into his home. After short greetings, Tychicus hands Philemon the letter from Paul. Philemon’s hands probably shaking, his mind racing with questions — and he begins reading —
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker, 2 to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your home. 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker,
Philemon
I. The Godly Nature of One who Forgives
I. The Godly Nature of One who Forgives
4 I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints.
4 I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints. 6 I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ. 7 For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
Paul doesn’t look to flatter Philemon, but to praise him for the kind of person God has made him.
There are certain attributes and characteristics that reveal the Spiritual Nature of one who forgives.
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is first and foremost is committed to the Lord.
Verse 5 — “Because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord.”
In looking to praise Philemon, notice that Paul thanks God. We are who we are because of what God has done in us. And who is Philemon? — He is one who was committed to the Lord. He desired to please God. And the reason he desired to please God is the Lord forgave him! And because the Lord forgave him, Philemon could forgive others.
And there’s something subtle to notice here, but it’s so important. Look at verse 5, other versions, like ESV, KJV, and NASB, bring this out more clearly — “because I hear of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord...”
“because I hear of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord...”
You have — demonstrates the continuous nature of Philemon’s commitment to the Lord. He is unwavering in his love and faith toward the Lord.
Christians forgive because God has forgiven them. Christians forgive because God has reconciled them to Himself. Unbelievers have no capacity to truly forgive in fullness because they have never been forgiven. They have no spiritual nature to do so.
Believers forgive because they are committed to their Lord who forgave them.
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is secondly committed to loving fellow believers.
Verse 5 — “because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord and for all the saints.”
This comes off of the same language toward God — is now for all the saints. Because Philemon’s faith was real, it manifested itself in true biblical love to God and God’s people! This is ἀγάπη — love that is of the will and choice, self-sacrificing and humble type of love. It’s a love that is the fruit of the Spirit () and it’s a manifestation of saving faith.
14 We know that we have passed from death to life because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death.
Philemon’s commitment to the Lord and to God’s people gave him the capacity to forgive.
Are you loving others?
It’s manifested in whether you forgive.
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is committed to fellowship with those in the church.
Verse 6 — “I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective...”
This word participation describes real faith and love that is manifested in a commitment to fellowship with other believers. There is no place in the Body of Christ for individualism. Our identity is in Christ, each one of us, together, as the body of believers — who care for one another. We care for one another because we are of one body — Christ’s body.
Notice this phrase — may become effective. Paul is praying for this. Effective is the word, ἐνεργής (energes) — and you can hear our word energy. It is literally powerful. The act of forgiveness sends a powerful message to the church about fellowship. Forgiving a fellow believer, no matter what their offense, makes a strong statement of concern for fellowship — life together in the church.
Do you have a strong commitment to fellowship with believers?
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is committed to Godly knowledge.
Verse 6 — “Through knowing every good thing that is in us...”
3 Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens.
Christian have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavens. And they know it. Not that they know about it, but that they know it — deeply, richly, full, experientially. And so the command — Forgive One Another — is something we experience and therefore know personally because we live it out. We walk in that obedience to God. And by walking in it we know it.
Every time we are given the opportunity to obey God and do it, we are enriched. Christ came to do His Father’s will. “Not My will, but Your will be done.” And this is the nature of the Christian — a commitment to this Godly knowledge.
Are you committed to Godly knowledge?
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is committed to the Glory of Christ.
Verse 6 — “for the glory of Christ.”
Literally the Greek text reads εἰς Χριστόν — unto Christ. In other words, everything is unto Christ. That is the goal of the believer — the glory of Christ.
31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God’s glory.
Paul knew Philemon lived to committed to the glory of Christ.
What are you living unto?
The Godly Nature of one who forgives is committed to refreshing others.
Philemon
7 For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
This is phenomenal. And I want you to listen closely here. The word heart literally means bowel. It’s the seat of feelings. Philemon was committed to refreshing people who were struggling, hurting, and suffering. The term refresh was used of an army resting from a march getting water and nourishment and rest for their bodies, in order that it may then take up the fight. Philemon brought troubled people rest and renewal. In a world filled with hate, spite, bitterness, envy, self-love, and unforgiveness, how helpful is a man or woman who is refreshing to us, encouraging, uplifting, restoring, reviving, strengthening?
The hearts of the saints have been refreshed by Philemon. This is a characteristic of the Spiritual nature of one who forgives.
Do you refresh the hearts of other believers?
II. The Godly Actions of One who Forgives
II. The Godly Actions of One who Forgives
By now you probably noticed that the word forgiveness does not appear in the letter to Philemon. Neither is there any doctrinal principles that provide theological foundations for forgiveness. So, Paul does not appeal to Philemon based on law or doctrinal principle — But — “on the basis of love.”
And so, Paul appeals to Philemon’s heart.
Read with me verses 8 and 9.
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus,
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, 10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I fathered him while I was in chains. 11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. 12 I am sending him back to you as a part of myself. 13 I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment for the gospel he might serve me in your place. 14 But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will. 15 For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but even more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me. 18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
Philemon
P
Philemon 8-
By now you probably know that the word forgiveness does not appear in the letter to Philemon. Neither is there any doctrinal principles that provide theological foundations for forgiveness. So, Paul does not appeal to Philemon based on law or doctrinal principle, but to Love.
He begins — “For this reason...” which links the praise he has given Philemon for his Spiritual Nature and Character and now he looks to move him to action. In other words, based on the Spiritual Nature and Character of Philemon, Paul looks to move him into action — to do the right thing. And the right thing is to forgive Onesimus.
Paul knows that Philemon doesn’t need doctrinal foundations of forgiveness. He also states that based on his apostleship, he could boldly, in Christ — command Philemon “to do what is right.” However, he does something that may be quite surprising — he appeals to him based on love.
The appeal is first mentioned as possible as a command, but then as instead an appeal.
10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I fathered him while I was in chains. 11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me.
Philemon
And then “as an elderly man” and then — “now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus.” He appeals to Philemon’s heart for one who is elderly and sympathy for Paul who is in chains. He wants Philemon to picture this old man rattling his chains as he makes his heart-felt appeal to forgive Onesimus as he honorably suffers for their Lord.
And the appeal is for “my son, Onesimus.” (verse 10)
Onesimus means “useful.” Paul plays a bit of word games here with his name. “Once he was use-less, but now he is useful BOTH to you and to me.”
So, Paul pulls out all the stops and pulls on the heart strings of Philemon based on the Lord Jesus Christ, then on Paul himself, and then on Onesimus. It’s personal, deep, heartfelt appeals.
The appeal is for Philemon to do three things:
First, Receive Onesimus
First, Receive Onesimus
11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. 12 I am sending him back to you as a part of myself.
Philemon
Reception is the first step in forgiveness.
You may be wondering about repentance. Repentance has a part in forgiveness. But the very fact that Onesimus is standing there before Philemon as he reads the letter from Paul proves his repentance. Onesimus returned to face the master he had wronged — who — had the power to punish him severely.
Also, repentance is seen in that once Onesimus was useless, but now he is useful to both Philemon and Paul. Onesimus was ready to live up to the injunction of
22 Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, in order to please men, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord.
So faithful was Onesimus now that Paul sent him back — “as a part of myself!” Paul had taken him in and found him a man who was a great man to know and love. He wanted to keep Onesimus to serve in Philemon’s place. This is an incredible statement. “Onesimus would be like having you here, Philemon. He is a tremendous help to me, like you, for the gospel.”
And notice verse 14.
14 But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will.
This is the way you pastor. This is the way true pastors lead. They lead by loving appeal. It’s better to lead and call people to obedience, not by obligation, but by the volition of their own free will.
Then, Restore Onesimus
Then, Restore Onesimus
15 For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but even more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
Paul asked Philemon not only to welcome Onesimus back, but to restore him to service. And notice the way he stated it. He suggested God’s providence, not mitigating the guilt of Onesimus — “For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time.” He says perhaps, because we don’t know the secret counsels of God. But we do know that God triumphs over sin through His providential power and grace.
20 You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people.
But look at the magnitude of Christian Forgiveness.
“So that you might get him back permanently, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave — as a dearly loved — BROTHER!” Now that’s the magnitude of Christian forgiveness. Think of this. How much greater the fellowship is between brothers than master and slave, worshipping together, working together, ministering together. Spiritual service is greater than service as a slave. Paul reiterates the request in verse 17.
17 So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me.
Also, Paul would give Restitution for Onesimus.
Also, Paul would give Restitution for Onesimus.
17 So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me. 18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
The interesting thing here is that Paul offering to pay for what Onesimus owed Philemon indicated that Onesimus could not possibly repay Philemon. It also indicated that Onesimus possibly spent most of his time serving Paul. Paul insured the restitution to Philemon on Onesimus’ behalf. He would pay his debt.
Restitution is an essential component of forgiveness, and it would have been right for Philemon to demand it from Onesimus. However, it’s not wrong to give grace. Philemon could actually choose to lovingly and gracious forgive not only the wrong Onesimus but also the debt he owed him. But Paul, offering to pay the debt removes any pressure from Philemon to the issue of restitution.
But there’s something even deeper here in Paul’s offer. Paul’s offer to pay the debt beautifully pictures Christ’s work of paying our debt of sin. Philemon, like God, had been wronged. Onesimus, like the sinner, stood in need of reconciliation, but with no ability or capability to repay the debt. Paul, like Christ, offered to pay the debt we could never repay.
The whole appeal rests on this: If God forgave us for our sin, and Christ paid the debt we could never repay, how can we not forgive one another?
But this moves even deeper still. And Paul now gives motivations to forgive.
III. The Spiritual Motivation of One who Forgives
III. The Spiritual Motivation of One who Forgives
19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, may I have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 But meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you. 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, and so do 24 Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers. 25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
Usually, Paul dictated his letters to an amanuensis, a secretary. In many of his letters, he would close the letter with his hand written greeting, to authenticate the letter and personalize the message. At the end of this letter, Paul basically signs and I.O.U.
But then he pushed deeper with this statement in verse 19.
19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self.
And the point of what Paul said is this. “Onesimus owes you a debt, but this is a temporal debt. But you owe me an eternal debt.
Paul seeks to motivate Philemon by what he owed.
Paul seeks to motivate Philemon by what he owed.
Paul had shared the Gospel with Philemon. Onesimus could work a number of years and repay Philemon, but what Philemon owed Paul — he could never repay. So, Paul said, “You owe me even your own self.”
There is a principle here for us.
When someone has wronged you — remember that you not only owe God everything — but you also owe others.
I owe many people. I owe my parents for the many prayers and spiritual counsel, for teaching me the Scriptures, for their love and care and disciplining me when needed.
I owe my wife for her love, friendship, support, great wisdom, and care. I owe her for the many hours in study and counselling others. I owe her so many hours that I cannot repay.
I owe my children for their concern, prayers, support and the great amounts of time that they sacrificed for ministry.
I owe all the friends who have supported me, prayed for me, listened to me. I owe all my teachers and mentors. I owe you this church who have supported, prayed, loved and encouraged me.
Truly, I have received so much from so many.
How quick should I be to forgive others?
What we owe others should motivate us to forgive.
Also — there is a motivation of blessing others.
Also — there is a motivation of blessing others.
We could be of such blessings to others. Philemon would benefit Paul by bringing him joy in forgiving Onesimus. Failure to forgive him would sadden Paul’s heart and mar the testimony of the Colossian church. It should motivate us to forgive because of the blessing of joy it would bring to the rest of the church.
There is also a necessity to obey Christ.
There is also a necessity to obey Christ.
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how many times could my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus said to him, “but 70 times seven.
Matthew
There should never be limits to forgiving one another.
And Paul seized upon the idea of 70 times seven to say —
21 Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.
Another motivation to forgive is Accountability.
Another motivation to forgive is Accountability.
22 But meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you.
Paul let Philemon know that he was coming. He didn’t threaten Philemon like he did those in the church at Corinth. But he did give a gentle compulsion.
And notice how Paul attached this accountability to Philemon’s prayers. Prayer would be an exercise in futility if we do not forgive others. Paul gently maneuvers Philemon into a spiritual accountability corner.
Another strong motivation to forgive is maintaining Fellowship.
Another strong motivation to forgive is maintaining Fellowship.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, and so do 24 Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, and so do
Philemon
Our lives are not in a spiritual vacuum. Our present spiritual climate in the American church is dangerous. We cannot live independent of local church fellowship. Everyone of us need connection, life, community, fellowship, accountability, responsibility to one another in our local church assembly. If I could encourage one thing to young people, young couples, young families — I know the responsibilities of life, of work, of children, of family. You need deep relationships with those you worship with. That is one beautiful aspect of smaller churches — they are afforded a unique closeness, you cannot get in many large churches. Make yourself available.
Paul reminds Philemon of the necessity of maintaining fellowship. He reminds him that failing to forgive Onesimus intimately affects others. These 5 men were well known to Philemon and he had the opportunity to set a good example for them to follow as well. To fail at this would fracture the fellowship Philemon now enjoyed.
And finally, the requirement of Grace is motivation to forgive.
And finally, the requirement of Grace is motivation to forgive.
25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
What Paul asked Philemon to do was going to require Christ.
What Paul asked Philemon to do, in the flesh, was impossible to do. He was going to need the grace of Christ working with his spirit.
John 15:
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.
John 15:
And that was Paul’s prayer for Philemon.
The letter to Philemon end there. But not the story.
How did things turn out? Did Philemon receive and restore Onesimus? Was restitution paid?
Do you think this letter would be in the Scriptures had not the story ended well — with forgiveness?
Paul is released from prison as he anticipated. He traveled extensively and no doubt back to Colossae to see Philemon and what happened.
An interesting letter was received by the Ephesian church 50 years later from Ignatius. Ignatius was in smyrna on his way to be executed in Rome. These were the words he wrote:
“I received your large congregation in the person of Onesimus, your bishop in this world, a man whose love is beyond words.”
If this were Onesimus, he would have been very old, but what a fitting conclusion.
You are never more Christlike than when you forgive.
Let’s Pray.