What Your Life Could Be: Mother's Day

Introduction

We have been in the book of Romans since September and we have done five sermon series for a total of 27 sermons, and today we close out the book by turning our attention to a curious chapter, chapter 16.

At first glance it seems as though the meat of what Paul has shared is over and that chapter 16 is just the closing credits, Paul’s thanking his friends and his team, but as is always the case with the Scriptures, if we pry a little bit deeper we can see something that is life changing for us.

By listing all these names that I can’t pronounce, Paul once again shows us what our lives could be if we are gripped by everything he has said in .

Paul Needs Others

By listing all of these people, Paul is saying, I am not a one man show. Paul is saying, I need others. Paul is saying, the whole thing isn’t riding on my shoulders. We are in this together. We are a team. We are a community. We are a family.

*Your children need the church. If Paul needed others in his life, if Paul needed a team, your child needs a team.

Paul and Saul

Paul could have taken all the credit. He was the apostle to the Gentiles. He brought Jesus to non-Jews. He even used a different name to make it easier to reach Gentiles. Saul didn’t BECOME Paul. Jesus didn’t change Saul’s name to Paul when he was converted. Jesus continued to call him Saul. It wasn’t like when Jesus gave Simon the new name of Peter. He continued to be Saul in the next few chapters and until the day he died. Paul wasn’t given a new name. Paul was Jewish and his Jewish name was Saul. He was also a Roman citizen so his Roman name was Paul.

Acts 13:9 ESV

But Saul, who was also called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked intently at him

He was Saul to the Jews and he was Paul to the Gentiles. My Spanish teacher from 9th grade is a long time member of our church. When she sees me she sometimes calls me Carlos. Why? Because Carlos was my Spanish name for that class. My name is still Chuck. But for the Spanish class and activities it was Carlos. Same thing with Saul/Paul. Paul was the name he used for the Gentiles.

What’s my point? He could have said, see I have shared Jesus so much with the Gentiles, I have been such a great missionary that people down through the ages will think my name was changed to Paul, but it wasn’t. I am still Saul, but I don’t use that name because that was when I was inward and only concerned about reaching those close to me, now, I use Paul because I am a missionary and you aren’t.

Paul could have filled telling us about that, explaining all of that to us. But he doesn’t. He has a team. But it isn’t all riding on his shoulders.

*Your children need the church. If Paul needed others in his life, if Paul needed a team, your child needs a team.

Something else is happening here…

This is a list of strangers to me and to you, but think about how important each of them must have been or seemed that Paul would mention them in the book of Romans. But still, these important people were there…and then they weren’t. They were just like us, struggling not to live as if life was all riding on their shoulders.

These were important people.

Time Travel

I love time travel movies and I remember one where the main character had travelled back in time had become immersed in the culture for many years, had established friendships, even family, and was engulfed in thick plot lines that pertained to that era of history. All of the people seemed very important…there were villains that were important and larger than life, there were friends who were amazing people…the government of the day, the issues of the day that were so important…

But when he jumped back to the present day, all of those people, all of those important issues, all of it, was suddenly gone. All new people. All family, all the people who were so crucial and important in the multiple plot lines, all the kings, all the important people…all gone.

Kennedy and Congress

If you go to Arlington National Cemetary, you can find the grave site of President John F. Kennedy. Assassinated in 1963…his death was so important that people remember exactly where they were and what they were doing and who they were with when they heard that Kennedy had been shot. An important guy. A lot was riding on his shoulders. But you can walk right up to his grave site. There is no line to see it. It’s somewhat unremarkable. There are no secret service agents, there is no presidential motor cade or presidential cabinet. Just silence.

I did a little bit of research…after Kennedy was shot, there was a joint session of Congress. So 435 represenatives, 100 senators, the new president, President Lyndon Johnson. But no Kennedy because he had been shot and killed, so now everything was riding on their shoulders, those hundreds and hundreds of leaders. Do you know that there may be two or three of those senators and represanatives not still serving in Congress, but LIVING at all. Not only is Kennedy gone, ALL of them are basically gone. All those important people.

We are the only creatures on earth who are conscious that we are going to die, that everyone we love is going to die, that everything we do will one day fade away and this list of names is proof of that if you needed such proof. That the whole thing isn’t riding on our shoulders.

That’s what I think of when I read this chapter. All of these people probably believed they were so important…just like we believe ourselves to be. And what Paul shows us all through the book of Romans, and what Paul shows us in chapter 16 by listing these names is that the Gospel frees us to be unimportant. The Gospel shows us that it isn’t all riding on our shoulders. So many times we live our lives that way…as if everything is riding on our shoulders. Paul shows here that he isn’t a one man show. Paul shows that he has lived in community. Paul shows that it wasn’t all up to him…it wasn’t all riding on his shoulders.

When we think that life is up to us…when we think that this whole thing is riding on our shoulders, we begin handling people. We begin extracting from others what we think we need, what we need them to be for us. We use people as a means to an end. We don’t know when to say no…because it is all riding on us.

We don’t want to be associated with things when things aren’t going well. But love to take credit when things are going well.

Even in death we still think life is riding on our shoulders...

Parenting

It impacts our parenting. We think we will have a baby, that baby will be perfectly healthy, the baby will develop perfectly, stop waking us up in the middle of the night at 9 weeks old, walk when they are supposed to, be a well behaved and well adjusted child who is reasonably popular at school, get good grades, get into a good college, find a good Christian spouse, find a good job, have lots of grandbabies for us, all of them be perfectly healthy and well adjusted, with great marriages and that one day we will die in our sleep at 105 years old with our family all surrounding our bed singing us into Heaven.

And we do what we can to control that, to bring that about, and we do it in a million different ways. We do it by bringing the Law to our kids. By never letting them see our weaknesses, by never apologizing to them, by being the serious adult in the room…when the one thing they need is to see our weaknesses and know it is ok for a Christian to also be weak and broken and sinful.

Need to be Recognized

When we believe it is all riding on our shoulders we can’t admit mistakes, we talk too much, we have a need to be recognized.

How many people do you think Paul may have forgotten? When we believe it is all riding on our shoulders, we have a need to be recognized.

You say, I don’t need to be recognized….I like being in the background. I don’t want to be mentioned publicly. I’m the same way. I don’t need to mentioned publicly. But what about when your kid is overlooked? What about when your kid isn’t recognized and someone else’s kid is? That’s where I struggle. I don’t need the recognition, but I need my kid to have recognition.

Father, free us to love people out of your great love for us—whether our kindness is acknowledged, reciprocated, or ignored. Help us break the cycle of letting people be the thermostat in our lives. People will always make lousy saviors. Nobody can be Jesus to us but Jesus

Today is Mother’s Day…men, it is all riding on your shoulders today. I hope you prepared. I was talking to some guys the other day and we were commenting and commiserating on how it is that WE are responsible for making our wives happy on Mother’s Day. They aren’t our mothers. Isn’t that the kids’ responsibility? That logic seemed to be lost on our wives when we brought them into the loop. Men, it is all riding on your shoulders today. Or is there something else going on even deeper on Mother’s Day.

Marriage as sanctification

I came across this article...

Article—Elyse Fitzpatrick

Well . . . here it comes again: Mother’s Day—or, as I like to call it, the Great Day of Guilt and Discontent. Ugh.

Men don’t know what to do with it. It terrifies them.

They hope that the gifts they’ve chosen will please their wives and mothers. They don’t want to be known as an ungrateful person who failed to properly honor the woman who gave him life or birthed his children.

Women don’t know what to do with it either.

Mother’s Day angst sounds like this: I wish I were a mother. I wish I were a better mother. I wish I loved my mother. I wish my mother loved me. I wish my mom were still alive. I wish I hadn’t aborted that child. I wish I could have children. I wish I knew who my mother was. I wish I hadn’t given my baby away. I wish my children loved me. I wish they would write. I wish they were still alive.

Mother’s Day is the Law—it breeds discontent and guilt.

We live in a sin-cursed world and no matter how much we try to honor someone we love, it always seems to come out wrong. We can give the sweetest presents with the best intentions but still . . . it just never turns out like we hoped it would.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not the sort of woman who would seek to ban a day when I have the power to make my husband and sons cook for me. (I’m not that stupid!) But I would like to bring some gospel-sanity into it.

Self-dissatisfaction

Here’s what’s wrong with Mother’s Day (and every other celebration of our own goodness): Any time you seek satisfaction, honor, and glory in yourself you’re going to be dissatisfied—that applies to both women and men. Any time you look for someone to give you something that will make you feel like you’ve done a good job, or are finally a person of worth, you’re going to be disappointed. Men will be disappointed because their wives or moms don’t appreciate how much they tried to appreciate them. Women will be disappointed because no matter how hard our husband and children seek to lavish us with praise, flowers, and gifts, there is always someone you know who was given much more than you.

We’re living under the law of Mother’s Day: If you’re good, you’ll get goodies. In the words of my daughter, “It’s the one day when I’m forced to look at either my own shortcomings (resulting in guilt) or the shortcomings of others who fail to appreciate me (resulting in discontent).” It’s the one day we’re told over and over that our identity as women is not rooted in the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ, but in our own ability to be the source of life and goodness for all, when we judge whether we’re finally OK based on the response of others rather than by the gospel of grace. Mother’s Day is the Law and that’s why it breeds such discontent and guilt.

No Hallmark cards for the crucifixion

The source of true happiness is not found in being praised or anything we have ever done. True happiness is found in dying to ourselves and celebrating what Christ has already done for us.

True happiness is here: It is found in Jesus’ work. The best gift any woman (or man) has ever received was given on another Mother’s Day: this one was 2,000 years ago in a borrowed feeding trough when God was born and nursed at a young mother’s breast. It continued to be given some 30 years later when that perfect Son of Man was nailed to a tree and his Father turned away from him while his mother wept. No Hallmark cards or saccharine sentimentality for Jesus. Nothing. Just blood and despair and an anguished “It is finished” for us.

Whatever happens this Sunday remember this: You are loved. You are forgiven. You are righteous. Not because of anything you can do, but only because of what Jesus has already done.

Go ahead and receive praise and gifts with a smile, but remember these paltry baubles aren’t anything in comparison to one drop of that precious blood. His work has made you his, and he has given you an eternal identity. You are his beloved daughter in whom he is well pleased.

United with Christ

And that is what the whole message of Romans is about. That life isn’t all riding on our shoulders because Jesus took our sin, our pain, our shortcomings, on HIS shoulders. And because of that we are free. We are free to say, because this whole isn’t riding on my shoulders, because I have been set free, because Jesus has said his burden is light, because Jesus paid it all, because it is finished, because it isn’t all riding on my shoulders how am I now going to live my life to glorify God? What could my life be, what could your life be, if you were gripped by the fact that it isn’t all riding on your shoulders?

And that is what the whole message of Romans is about. That life isn’t all riding on our shoulders because Jesus took our sin, our pain, our shortcomings, on HIS shoulders. And because of that we are free. We are free to say, because this whole isn’t riding on my shoulders, because I have been set free, because Jesus has said his burden is light, because Jesus paid it all, because it is finished, because it isn’t all riding on my shoulders how am I now going to live my life to glorify God? What could my life be, what could your life be, if you were gripped by the fact that it isn’t all riding on your shoulders?

Why isn’t it all riding on your shoulders?

Three words, United with Christ. In Christ...

In Christ—Paul making up words.

Romans 16:3 ESV

Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus,

Romans 16:7 ESV

Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners. They are well known to the apostles, and they were in Christ before me.

Romans 16:9 ESV

Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my beloved Stachys.

Romans 16:10 ESV

Greet Apelles, who is approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the family of Aristobulus.

Verse 11 and 12: In the Lord.

Verse 11 and 12: In the Lord.

Romans 16:13 ESV

Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.

Last week we unpacked what our mission statement, Nothing But Jesus is and is not. And one of the side bar questions I asked is this…does Nothing But Jesus even work grammatically?

Why Nothing But Jesus?

Does that sentence even work grammatically?

Not really…

And that is good!

It is good that Nothing But Jesus is jarring and grammatically awkward at times. In fact...

Nothing But Jesus should become its own, new, made up word!

How do you make three words into one? The Apostle Paul, who was accused of being a poor communicator by the Corinthian church, was known for making up words.

One of Paul’s favorite three word phrases was United With Christ. These three words were not only grammatically awkward, but the theology was equally jarring. S

o Paul, being Paul, instead of backing down in the face of criticism, took it even further, in his description of what this jarring phrase, United With Christ, meant…he did this not by softening the phrase, but by inventing even more words…

Crucified With Christ

Buried With Christ

Raised With Christ

Seated With Christ

These three word phrases are now common Christianese to Christians…but Paul actually invented new words in order to coin these phrases.

In the Greek, these three word phrases are each single words that begin with the prefix, syn, which means, with. t

Paul had coined new words, grammatically awkward words, to describe this beautiful reality of a Christian being United With Christ.

Paul invented and embraced these awkward words, and relentlessly clung to them, because he was contending for the Gospel. Even back then, so close to the time of Jesus’ resurrection, Paul saw that Christians could forget the main thing…Nothing But Jesus…without even realizing it.

We can know that this whole thing isn’t riding on our shoulders because we are IN CHRIST. We are united with him. It is finished.

We are Free

And that is what the whole message of Romans is about. That life isn’t all riding on our shoulders because Jesus took our sin, our pain, our shortcomings, on HIS shoulders. And because of that we are free. We are free to say, because this whole isn’t riding on my shoulders, because I have been set free, because Jesus has said his burden is light, because Jesus paid it all, because it is finished, because it isn’t all riding on my shoulders how am I now going to live my life to glorify God? What could my life be, what could your life be, if you were gripped by the fact that it isn’t all riding on your shoulders?

Romans 16:25–27 ESV

Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages but has now been disclosed and through the prophetic writings has been made known to all nations, according to the command of the eternal God, to bring about the obedience of faith— to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen.