Sermon Tone Analysis

BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD

Today is Mother’s Day, and it’s certainly a day to bring honor to those faithful mothers among us, and I give thanks to the Lord for faithful mothers.

The reality is that one day isn’t enough and so I hope that today is just a concentration point for what we do all year in honoring our mothers.

I know that it’s true that my mother is certainly one of my heroes in terms of her unending devotion to her children and I’m sure that many of you can say the same.

Today, speaking of mothers, I want to focus on the responsibility of being a wife and mother and so I want to take you to a familiar passage; it’s proverbs 31, so if you would please turn with me to

This section of Proverbs is God’s ultimate desire for godly woman.

The passage is that of an ideal woman, the goal for every wife and mother.

In thinking about the image of women the world presents, it’s an amazing contrast, an incredible difference, not only compared to scripture but compared to what the image of women was many decades ago and the current post-modern woman.

At one time the acceptable woman was depicted as a woman who would happily care for her home, ironing, cleaning the floors and window, having the cleaning product being advertised in her hand with a big smile on her face.

The papers would show a woman standing over a stove cooking the meal for her family, sitting on the couch reading stories to her children, perhaps playing games in the backyard or pushing a baby carriage around the block, this is not the image the world had when I was growing up and it hasn’t been the image of woman the world has had in many decades.

So how does the world portray womanhood now?

Today in adverts you see the business professional women ruling the office, a woman with a briefcase hurrying off to work leaving the kids behind with a stranger we call a babysitter, or we see woman doing aerobics in clothes so tight you can see ever skin wrinkle, even worse, you can put up a magazine just about any public place a see a woman in what I think they call a bathing suit, but there’s not much left unexposed with no interest in virtue or modesty, and in general culture today promotes the “manly” woman as what is honored in society.

It’s the woman who’s in charge, who rules the next, she works, she’s career driven demanded equal pay and equality with men in everything, she refuses to submit to her husband and the world applauds it, she flaunts her independence and the world encourages it, she neglects her children’s education by putting it in the hands of the government and the world loves it, she flaunts her sexuality despite her being married and the world begs for it, her family can expect a tanned, self sufficient, body building, independent mother and wife who will not let family get in the way of her goals.

She puts her kids into daycare to pursue a career, her children all have electronic devices so as to not bother her with no regard to what her children are learning.

The worlds idea of a woman is opinionated, stubborn, demands the spot light, often demands submission from the husband and is eager to be what the world says she should be.

Sometimes this means it’s ok to have an affair or two on her way to the top, sometimes it means the children are raised by someone else so she is left to pursue her own dreams and the world begs her to go even further.

Generally she doesn’t stay married that long, and is more concerned with other men appreciating her rather than her own husband which often means she dresses more like a prostitute when going out than a committed conservative wife.

She is the furthest cry from the excellent woman descried in .

You should still have your place in the chapter and if you will look with me and notice how differently God identifies the ideal woman, the ideal wife and mother compared to the world, so Let’s read through it.

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This is not the only place in Proverbs that women are the subject.

Earlier, women are described, as anything but excellent.

We see the adulteress who flatters with her lips in earlier chapters, we see the adulteress who forsakes her own husband breaking her marriage covenant.

We see the adulteress whose lips drip honey as she seduces other men, we see the adulteress who seeks innocent life, we see the noisy woman, the foolish woman, the contentious woman, and several others, all who look a lot like what the world says is ok.

Then we get to this beautiful chapter, chapter 31 and we have this amazing picture of the excellent wife, God’s desire for women.

Let’s go back to verse 1 to set the stage and context for verses 10 -31.

So here’s the scene, a mother is speaking to her son, her son’s name is Lemuel, we don’t really know anything about this man, we don’t really know who he is accept that he is a king.

We see that his mother is still giving him instruction and taking a keen interest in his life as should any good mother.

It’s a fair assumption that he is likely a young king, King’s back in the day often became king’s when their fathers passed way, even if they were very young, so here we have a young king, who seemed to not yet have a wife.

That makes this instruction critical and important and of course, perhaps even more so for him because the influence he had as King.

We see her great love for her son in verse 2

In other words, my son what do I want to tell you, what message should I give to you.

This seems to be a mother with great wisdom, because the message she gives is not about achievements, or accomplishments, it has nothing to do with success, or gold, it’s all about character.

The next thing we see in verse 3 is

What does it mean to not five your strength to women, what that means to not be sexually immoral, the phrase don’t give your strength to women means, don’t be immoral with a woman.

It’s a euphemism for sexual immorality, which often destroyed kings, especially because kings often had harems made up of women from other nations which they made alliances, these were basically sex slaves.

So far the wisdom this mother gives seems like very good advice.

In verse 4 she goes on to say

So, stay away from sexual immorality and now stay away from alcohol.

So King, stay away from that which can dull your judgment, dull your senses; rob you of the clarity of your thinking, this truly is great advice.

Stay away from the forbidden sexual activity.

Stay away from anything that can corrupt your mind which alcohol, drugs, and other substances can do.

Then we come to verse 6

Alcoholic beverages in those days were helpful to alleviate suffering and pain, especially of those who were in great hurt.

Now we all understand pain, we all know when we have pain we try to find a prescription that will help alleviate that pain.

In those days they didn’t have Tylenol, ibuprofen or other pain killers, so they used alcoholic drinks to alleviate the pain in those who suffered.

So far, this mother has advised her king son, to stay away from sexual sin, stay away from alcohol and to meet the needs of hurting people.

She’s not done as she continues in verse 7

She encourages a type of character that says desire to alleviate the pain and suffering of the people, she carries on to verse 8 to say speak in defense of those who cannot speak for themselves.

In other words, young kind, stand by the oppressed, defend the weak, take care of those who cannot take care of themselves, so far this mother’s advice has been all about character.

Stay away from sexual immorality, stay away from alcohol, give yourself to help the suffering of people, defend those who cannot defend themselves, stand y the oppressed.

Then we come to verse 9

This covers a lifetime of pursuing character, packed into only 9 verses and the rest of the chapter is about one other crucial area of advice.

Verse 10

As if to say “now most importantly of all my son, find, if possible, and excellent wife, as though this is the highest priority of all, and the reality is, that it is.

For a man there is no greater gift, monumentally enriching for the man, for his children, and the generations to come and all who know him, to the man that finds an excellent wife.

Conversely, the wrong wife, an unfaithful wife, a less then excellent wife, a bitter wife, will bring pain and sorrow and sadness and disaster for the husband and children and all who know them.

So we have this faithful mother, speaking to her son, the king, who says an excellent wife who can find for her worth is far above Jewels.

That’s an important comparison because in their world, gold and jewels were the measure of value.

And here she says that more important than the most expensive jewels was to find an excellent wife.

So what does an excellent wife look like?

What we see unfold in this passage is six categories which I want to focus on.

Her Character as a wife, her devotion as a homemaker, her generosity as a neighbor, her influence as a teacher, her effectiveness as a mother and her excellence as a saint.

As an interesting side fact, between verse 10-31 there are actually 22 verses, this is important because there are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet, Alef, Bet, Gimel, Dailf, and so forth and so on as it goes town through 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

Each of these verses begins with the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet.

The first verse from 10 beginning with Alef, the second Bet, the third Gimel and each verse all the way to the end of the alphabet.

So why did they do it this way?

Simple, so it would be easy to remember, of course we lose when you translate from Hebrew to English.

But you can imagine how this would have made it much easier to remember or to figure out it you forgot some of what was taught since you could use the alphabet to jog your memory, so to speak.

Since everyone knew the Hebrew alphabet it could then trigger each of these statements about what an excellent wife was like so that everybody could recall the wisdom taught and be able to reference it when they were considering an excellent woman.

So here we have this description of woman, given to us by the Holy Spirit, not of a specific woman but of an excellent woman in general, this is a full length portrait of the ideal woman.

This is the mirror for every Christian woman, this should be the goal of every woman, to get to the end of her days and say Lord, I was a woman, realizing that it is unobtainable without the help of the Holy Spirit and the renewing of the mind by the washing of the word.

This woman, tells us, “Is a gift from God, a gift from God.” It’s hard to find a woman like this and so it demands a lot of prayer and asking God to provide that woman as a gift.

By the way, it’s equally as difficult to find a good man, lest any was thinking that, says “Who can find a faithful man?”,

So don’t think men are basking in goodness, they’re as rare as good women.

All the more reason to treasure your spouse if you have a good one, and even if you don’t for that was your choice.

Too often the choice of a good wife or presumed good wife is made on the wrong qualifications of looks, economics status, or style rather than virtue, spiritual excellence, internal godly character.

But an excellent wife, when found, is more valuable than absolutely anything else.

The most precious thing you will ever possess as a man, as children, is a good wife and mother.

So what are the qualities of this excellent woman?

It’s fairly straight forward.

Firstly, her character as a wife, verse 11 “ The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain.”

That’s fairly simple, right.

The most important relationship in the home is the relationship between the husband and the wife, right?

That is the relationship that reflects itself to the children and so that’s where the text begins, with the most important relationship in the home and here is also where we find the most important element in a relationship, trust.

That is what holds a relationship together.

Here you have a man who trusts his wife.

Super practical, this is the kind of woman who allows her husband to do his work, to go away, to be gone, to give himself to whatever work he has to provide for his family and he can do so with absolute confidence in her integrity, in her discretion, in her discernment, and in her care.

He will trust in her to care for the home, the children, to care for all of the resources and assets and responsibilities of the home.

His comfort is her concern and he knows it.

His burdens are, hers to bear and he knows it.

He is at ease when he is away because he knows that everything he has is safe with her.

His house is the home of his heart and his heart is at rest.

He doesn’t worry, he isn’t jealous, and never suspicious because she is trustworthy.

This might be a good place to help you understand that in the times this was written and in ancient times in general where marriages where often arranged, it was very common for the husband, when he left, to lock up things in the house, anything that was valuable.

Today the equivalent would be feeling like you had to take all of the credit cards with you if you had to leave town, because you’re afraid she may bankrupt you while your away.

Sadly, this kind of thing does happen, but this type of woman described here in our text has so much character, the character of a good steward, she values family resources, she is frugal, she is wise, she practices discretion about what she does with money available and her primary responsibility is to be sure that she increases her husband’s trust in her.

This is the trust that builds a strong and healthy, long lasting relationship.

He trusts her and it says in verse 11, “He will have no lack of gain.”,

That means he is not going to lose what he has earned because she is wasteful with it.