What really matters in motherhood

Jun Torres

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Introduction

Good evening to all. Welcome to our pre-mother’s day celebration.

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. It complements similar celebrations honoring family members, such as Father's Day, Siblings Day, and Grandparents Day.

The modern holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at St Andrew's Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. St Andrew's Methodist Church now holds the International Mother's Day Shrine.[8] Her campaign to make Mother's Day a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Ann Jarvis had been a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the American Civil War, and created Mother's Day Work Clubs to address public health issues. Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother by continuing the work she started and to set aside a day to honor all mothers because she believed a mother is "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world".[9]

There are not very many more personable subjects we could talk about then our mother’s on mothers day.

Our mother’s,

· Carried us for 9-months.

· They feed us when we were helpless.

· They changed our stinky diapers.

· They made sure we looked nice on the first day of school.

· They took us to soccer and baseball games.

· They were there when we were teased at school.

· And they were there when we left home, out on our own for the first time, and we scared.

· They were there when we got married.

First, I would like to begin by thanking our mom’s for being mom.

We don’t get to appreciate the sacrifices of our parents, and especially our mom, until we had kids of my own.

So thank you moms for being mom.

>>We all want to have great moms, and, if we are lady, we want to be a great mom.

>>>> But how do we do that?

>>>>>>What makes a mom truly a charming beautiful mother?

Our culture has a lot of expectations for our moms.

- We expect our ladies to be beautiful, mom included. Just look at the magazines and display on the mall.

- Further, we expect our moms to be super mom’s. A good mom is someone who:

They make the point that, “Every woman in the United States participates in a daily beauty pageant, whether she likes it or not. Engulfed by a popular culture saturated with images of idealized, air-brushed, and unattainable female physical beauty, women cannot escape feeling judged on the basis of the appearance.”

And moms are impacted by this. Mom has to be beautiful.

- Further, we expect our moms to be super mom’s. A good mom is someone who:

a. Keeps the house spotless

b. Makes sure Homework is done.

d. Always has groceries with dinner planned.

c. Personal shuttle driver for school, sports, and sleep overs.

d. Always ready for unexpected company.

e. And at always at dad’s becking call.

>>>>>>What makes a mom truly a charming beautiful mother?

We all have unrealistic and unspiritual expectation’s of mom.

a. Husbands often value the wrong things about mom.

b. Children often value the wrong things about mom.

c. And because husbands and children value the wrong things, moms feel like they must that which doesn’t really matter and is unattainable.

There was a wise man who wrote about the what it means to be truly charming and beautiful mom. He is the wisest king who ever lived - King Solomon.

What really matters in motherhood?

We will be looking at in particular this morning, but we are going to read starting at v. 28.

ESV 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

ESV

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

So who is a truly charming, beautiful mother?

28 the lizard you can take in your hands, yet it is in kings’ palaces. 29 Three things are stately in their tread; four are stately in their stride: 30 the lion, which is mightiest among beasts and does not turn back before any; 31 the strutting rooster, the he-goat, and a king whose army is with him.

So who is a truly charming, beautiful mother?

This text tells us that,

Proposition: A Mother’s Beauty is in her Reverence of God.

Transition: And we are given 3 Character qualities that help us know that.

CLARIFICATION: The first 2 qualities help us understand what a mother’s beauty is not.

Mothers are often portrayed as charming. Let’s Look at the character quality of being charming.

1) The Character Quality of Charming.

a. Charming is the idea of elegance.

The word here describes someone as being charming or elegant.

ILLUSTRATION:

We all have known ladies like this.

>They enter the room and everyone turns because of their elegance.

>How they talk, what they say is filled with grace and charm.

>They are pleasant to be around because they are charming.

So is our text saying that mom ought not have charm?

Another way to say it,

Should mom act like one of the guys? a country hick, through and through.

The cruder mom is the better.

For the hope of our society, may we not say yes.

may we not say yes.

Certainly mothers bring a needed charm into society.

This is text is not forbidding a mother to be elegant because:

a. Elegance is not bad.

Charm appeals well to our senses,

ILLUSTRATION: Like the smell of fresh air coming into the house after being closed up for the winter,

Charm is refreshing to our senses.

On one hand, we all appreciate genuine charm. But genuine charm is not what makes a lady a truly charming beautiful mother.

Why

b. Elegance is deceptive.

Though,

b. Elegance is not bad, it is deceptive.

Like most things, charm can be used for good or for sin.

charm can be used for good or for sin.

- Charm can be used to make someone seem trustworthy, when really they are wicked.

- Charm can dull the senses so that we do not realize the sinfulness of our choices.

- We all appreciate mom’s charm. In fact, we would be a mess as families without mom’s charm.

One of the classic movie plots is for a man to be mesmerized by the charm of an evil women.

She really want’s his power, prestige, or money, so she uses her charm to get what she wants.

- We all appreciate mom’s charm. In fact, we would be a mess as families without mom’s charm.

- On the other hand, charm is not the measuring stick for motherhood because charm can make evil seem good.

Charm is not what truly makes a women, a charming, beautiful mother.

On the other hand, charm is not the measuring stick for motherhood because charm can make evil seem good.

Charm is not what truly makes a women, a charming, beautiful mother.

Therefore, Another character quality makes a women truly a charming, beautiful mother.

Perhaps the,

2) The Character Quality of Beauty.

Why

Like the smell of fresh air coming into the house after being closed up for the winter, it is refreshing to our senses.

b. Elegance is deceptive.

2) The Character Quality of Beauty.

According to the YMCA, a every lady is in a beauty contest.

Because of the values and focus of our society, fueled by marketing of false beauty, Beauty is a top contender for a mom.

Proverbs

a. Beauty is the idea of having a beautiful appearance.

If beauty is the standard for a great mother, than we ought to be in a contest to be the most beautiful.

But, is that what God says, that is the one who created each one of us.

ESV Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Again, we have to ask the question.

Is this text saying that mom has to be ugly?

ILLUSTRATION:

The popularity of Disney movies has emboldened an image of a witch in our minds.

If I asked what a witch looked like, we all would have a single basic idea.

a. She is very old looking.

b. Her features would be very stone cut-out, masculine looking.

c. She would have a lot of warts.

d. She would wear all black.

e. And she would be really scary.

Maybe this text is telling us that mom needs to look like a witch.

May I suggest that this is not what is being said.

After all, tells men to enjoy the beauty of their wife.

So may I say,

a. Beauty is not Bad.

All those who think mom is beautiful say Amen.

b. Beauty fades away.

b. Beauty is not bad, but it fades away.

Our text says that beauty is “vain”.

The word vain is often defined as empty or fruitless.

ESV Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

2 Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

ESV I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

14 I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

What is Solomon saying in Ecclesiastes. Vain is the idea of empty or fruitless.

Understand, there is nothing wrong with mom being beautiful.

But, beauty is empty or fruitless.

What does that mean?

Beauty does not produce anything. You can have a beautiful wicked mother or a beautifully Godly women.

You can have a beautiful wicked mother or a beautifully Godly women.

But Beauty itself has not effect in it.

Beauty does not accomplish anything by itself and is subject to the heart of the mother.

Further,

Further, the real point is that it fades away.

ILLUSTRATION: Vanity is like bubbles.

One Pastor preaching on this word “vain” said vanity is like bubbles.

This little containers of bubbles that children sometimes have.

And they will use the little wand to blow all these bubbles into the wind.

They are there for a while, but quickly they float out and burst in the air.

In the end, they are empty.

Beauty is like that, beauty is empty because it fades away.

ILLUSTRATION: What is harder on a women’s beauty then motherhood?

What is harder on a women’s beauty then motherhood?

Motherhood is physically hard.

- Whether the physical changes of pregnancy.

- Or the day in and day out work of taking care of the kids,

Motherhood is physically hard.

Mom’s beauty changes because of aging, but also because of the challenges in motherhood.

>>And the fact is, mom at 40 doesn’t like what she looked like at 20.

So, if beauty is the real standard of motherhood, than all mothers are doomed.

if beauty is the real standard of motherhood,

than all mothers are doomed.

- In fact, the super models ought to be the greatest moms.

Beauty is not the mark of a truly charming, beautiful mother.

This is not to say that mom is not beautiful, but that is not what makes her a great mom.

Now, are you following me.

Our culture says beauty is important, but out text has just shown how charm is deceptive and beauty is vain.

but out text has just shown how charm is deceptive and beauty is vain.

It is not what makes mom a truly charming beautiful mother.

If what our culture says is wrong,

Then, what makes mom truly charming and beautiful.

Maybe, It is all the things mom does for us.

In fact, we are talking about and the women.

Our author has given us a 22 point poem about what mom does.

(ESV)

10An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

11The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

12She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

13She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

14She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.

15She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

16She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

19She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

20She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

24She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.

25Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

26She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

27She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Perhaps, what makes mom charming and beautiful is all that she does.

After all, the author listed out an unrealistic list of what a good mom do.

the author listed out an unrealistic list of what a good mom do.

Certainly, Now, Certainly, mom does a lot for us and there is no question motherhood is hard work.

Now, Certainly,

mom does a lot for us and there is no question motherhood is hard work.

But may I suggest that , our text this morning, gives us the character quality that truly makes the mom a charming, beautiful mother.

But may I suggest that ,

our text this morning,

gives us the character quality that truly makes the mom a charming, beautiful mother.

Let’s look down at our text.

ESV Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

What makes a mother truly charming and beautiful.

It is not:

- Her charm

- Her beauty

Look at me - mothers, fathers, son’s, and daughters;

What makes a mother truly charming and beautiful is:

3) The Character Quality of Reverence for God.

“Fear of the Lord” is an important phrase in the Old Testament.

- The fear in this passage doesn’t mean mom is afraid, but that she gives reverence to God.

- “Fear of the Lord” is really a theme throughout proverbs.

We get that from the opening of the book in .

ESV The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

For any person, we know nothing until we have reverence for God.

Whether Husband/Father, Wife/Mother, or Child, we have NO wisdom for life until we have reverence for God.

How do we get fear or reverence for God? Know who God is and what he offers to all. The LOVE OF GOD and the ACT OF GOD

ESV 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

We cannot fear God the Father without also fearing the Son of God by believing in the Gospel.

John 3:16 ESV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

We believe in the Gospel.

The Gospel is this:

Jesus, the Son of God, was born to die on the cross and be raised from the dead for our sins.

How do we get reverence for God? We believe in the Gospel.

Just like the electric company charges our electricity to our electric bill, God charges our sin to our account. One day, we are going to have to pay that bill. If you believer in Jesus that sin has been paid for.

In fact, much of

Not only did Jesus come to pay for our sins, but also to give us a relationship with God the Father.

That is the “reverence, or Fear, of the Lord”.

and to give us a relationship with God the Father.

That is the “reverence, or Fear, of the Lord”.

To be a charming, beautiful mother,

You must “fear or revere the Lord”.

CONCLUSION:

What does it mean to fear God?

a. Love God.

Part of Christ work in our hearts is that we our transformed from enemies of God to lovers of God.

ESV

21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,

We also understand that part of that is changing our hearts from hate of God to love of God. The greatest commandment we could ever obey is to Love God.

ESV

25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

ESV

19 We love because he first loved us.

Part of reverencing God as a mother is to love him with all your being.

Another part of Fearing the Lord, is to

b. Be in awe of God.

The Word Awesome is the idea of being in awe of something.

ILLUSTRATION:

I remember the first time I went out to sea on Navy ship, I was in awe of the ocean.

- Goes on for miles in every direction.

- It is vast, but always moving.

- And it would be easy to get lost in.

I remember looking out and saying, wow, that is awesome.

We ought to be in awe of God.

ESV

17 For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe.

Part of having reverence for God as a mother, is being in awe of who he is. Being in awe of His majesty.

Lastly, part of having reverence for God as a mother is to

c. Honor God. (By Obeying God)

with our lives.

Scripture tells us that someone who has reverence for God honor’s God with their lives.

They honor God by obeying God.

ESV

15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

Often our sin against God is actually sin against one another.

What makes a mom charming and beautiful?

She honors God by showing grace and mercy towards her family rather than anger and malice.

CONCLUSION:

So understand what this text tells us,

The greatest quality of a truly charming, beautiful mother is not her:

- Charm (elegance)

- Beauty.

Neither of these are bad, but these are not what makes mom truly charming and beautiful.

but these are not what makes mom truly charming and beautiful.

A mom is truly a charming, beautiful mother when she “Fear’s the Lord”.

That is,

She gives reverence to God

- by loving God,

- being in Awe of God,

- and Honoring God through Obedience.

The mother demonstrates incredible sacrifice for her family.

Mom may do many things and in fact the mother demonstrates incredible sacrifice for her family.

and in fact the mother demonstrates incredible sacrifice for her family.

But, Why does the mother do all that she does for her family?

Why does the mother do all that she does for her family?

She does what she does because she “Fears the Lord”.

There are many expectation for mom, but most of those are not what make her a great mom. What truly makes mom a charming beautiful, mother is her reverence for God.

but most of those are not what make her a great mom.

What truly makes mom a charming beautiful, mother is her reverence for God.

Now,

I understand in this room we have mothers in a range of life.

- We have mothers who have young children.

- We have mothers who have teenagers.

- We have mothers who have children in college.

- We have mothers who have made the weird conversion to grand-parents.

Obviously motherhood changes as our children grow and mature.

But regardless of where mom and the kids are in life, the most important character quality for mom is her “Fear of the Lord”.

For those of us who have kids at home.

The most important quality for mom is her reverence for God.

That means that she lives out her life with “fear for the Lord” modeling that to her kids.

As part of living that out, she is teaching her children by instruction and example to Fear God.

- It might mean she is a soccer mom, or it might not.

- But it certainly means her children are being taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessings that flow out of the mercy and grace of God.

What greater character quality could mom posses then that.

For those of us who have kids who have left home.

- Does this change.

- Perhaps in the day to day routine,

but what makes mom great after we leave home.

When we are hurting, and we call mom, and she gives us the comforting truths of Scripture.

ILLUSTRATION:

In my life, the person who has influenced me the most was a mom. She has done more to help me

- in my walk with God

- my love for my wife

- and how I train my children

And she was somebody I meet after I left home.

When I am struggling or recognize my own sin,

she is the person I know I can call to encourage me with the truths of Scripture. Though not my actual mom, she in many ways teaches and models “reverence for God”.

I challenge mothers to be this kind of mother!

I challenge husbands and children to especially praise mom for this character quality.

INVITATION:

Perhaps you are here today, and do not know and trust in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

This is the first step to reverence, whether you are a mom, or dad, or a child.

It would be my pleasure to share the Gospel with you.

If there is anybody who would like to talk about something they are struggling with or would like to know more about the Gospel, feel free to come and talk to me.

To say thank you to our mothers we would like to give a book to each of you this morning to encourage you in being mom.

We handed out these during our Sunday School fellowship, but we would also like to give one to the moms in our regular service.

Also, if you are a mother we would like to give you a flower as thank you before you leave today.

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What really matters in motherhood

Introduction

1) The Character Quality of Charming.

2) The Character Quality of Beauty. ​

3) The Character Quality of Reverence for God.

2) The Character Quality of Beauty.