Advice From Mom

Opening Story/Illustration: So this last Tuesday, a few weeks before he was scheduled to arrive, my son was born. My wife had a c-section, and having a c-section is different than going into labor. As the dad, they hand you these scrubs and you get suited up, and then you sit in the “dad chair” while they prep your wife. When they are ready, they come get you from the “dad chair” and you go in to experience the birth of your child.

The dad chair, for both of my children, was like this life-flash-before your eyes experiences. It gives you like that moment right before your child is born to sit and think. How am I going to do this? What am I going to do? How

The dad chair, for both of my children, was like this life-flash-before your eyes experiences. It gives you time to sit and think about the big event that is unfolding before you. How am I going to do this? What am I going to do? For me the question is now, How do I juggle 2 kids? Will I be a good parent/dad? As parents we have goals for our kids.

as parents we have goals for our kids. We want them to be smart and successful. We want them to achieve great things. We hope that they will avoid many of the mistakes that we made.

We want them to be smart and successful. We want them to achieve great things. We hope that they will avoid many of the mistakes that we made.

We do our best to train our kids to live right. To follow Jesus. To love others. To treat others with respect. We give our kids advice and hope that they follow it.

Transition to the Text: The book of Proverbs is full of advice. It’s set up like a book of advice from a father to a son. It opens with advice from dad, but interestingly, it closes with advice from mom. It’s like God knew mom needed to get in the last word.

Background and Text: The last chapter of Proverbs is famously quoted as advice for women, but the truth is, it’s original intention was advice for young men.

It’s written either from a mother or from the viewpoint of a mother. It’s a mother’s advice to her son who is king. This is most likely not a king of Israel, but a foreign king by the name of Lemuel. This is the only place he is mentioned.

3. Background and Text:

If you have a Bible we are going to be in this morning

The last part of this passage - The advice on finding a good wife, it brilliantly put together as an acrostic poem. Each verse of the poem begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew Alphabet.

If you have a Bible we are going to be in this morning

Proverbs 31 ESV

1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. 10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Transition to Points: This morning I want to look at this passage and point out some “advice from mom,” that I think we would all do well to follow.

She says here three in verse 2 - “What are you doing?”

She’s asking him the question - “What are you going to do as king?”

He is the “Son of her vows.” Some think this might be a reference to the fact that she had dedicated this Child and given him to God.

His name actually means “Belonging to God.”

So here is a son, who’s king, and the queen mother is wondering - What are you going to do with the power and authority God has given you?

You know this is a good question we should ask our kids - What will you do with the life God has given you?

Are you going to waste this precious gift or are you going to use it wisely?

Let’s look at some of the advice she gives her son.

Points

Guard Your Heart

She’s asking him the question - “What are you going to do as king?”

He is the “Son of her vows.” Some think this might be a reference to the fact that she had dedicated this Child and given him to God.

His name actually means “Belonging to God.”

So here is a son, who’s king, and the queen mother is wondering - What are you going to do with the power and authority God has given you?

You know this is a good question we should ask our kids - What will you do with the life God has given you?

Are you going to waste this precious gift or are you going to use it wisely?

Verse 3 - Don’t give your strength to women

The idea here is that if he attaches himself to the wrong person, she will bring him down.

tells us that the king must not take many wives for himself or they will turn his heart away from God.

Deuteronomy 17:17 ESV

17 And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.

The scriptures are clear - Most of the Kings of Israel did not listen to this command! The nation suffered as a result.

In Fact, one of the most famous Kings of Israel and one of the Main writers of Proverbs, Solomon, Had issues with this. Look at

1 Kings 11:1–8 ESV

1 Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, 2 from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. 3 He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. 4 For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. 5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. 6 So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord, as David his father had done. 7 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, and for Molech the abomination of the Ammonites, on the mountain east of Jerusalem. 8 And so he did for all his foreign wives, who made offerings and sacrificed to their gods.

Many a good man or a good woman, for that matter, has been taken down because they got interested in the wrong young man or young woman!

Her advice then, be careful who you give your heart to.

Illustration: Perhaps the most famous story of this is the story of Samson and Delilah. You’ve heard the story - Samson is a man who is used greatly by God, but he gets interested in the wrong woman - a woman named Delilah. She gives away the secret of his strength and becomes his undoing.

How many young men and young women do you know that have had their lives messed up because they got entangled with the wrong individual?

Illustration: One of my best friends in middle school & high school was really close to God and had a great future in store for him, and then he found out girls liked him. That was the end of that…his life for the next 10-15yrs was one sad relationship after another - luckily, he got his stuff worked out, but the years that were wasted in pursing things that weren’t important! - What an illustration of giving up your strength…giving up some of the years that matter most.

Control Your Appetites

In verse 4-5, she warns him of letting a desire or addiction to alcohol ruin his life.

She says it will cause him to forget what he has decreed

She says it will cause him to be unable do the Job God has called him to do.

She knew that a King, who could not tame his own appetites would be a king who could not rule well.

Proverbs 16:32 ESV

32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

When we allow substances - alcohol, drugs, pornography, food, entertainment, or anything else to control our lives, we begin to loose touch with who God has called us to be and we begin to loose the ability to carry out the Job God has called us to do.

Illustration: There’s an old story about a young prince whose kingdom was taken over by an evil enemy. Instead of killing him, his enemy put him in a room and told him that he was free to come leave anytime he wanted. Knowing that the prince had a weakness for good food and drink, Every day they would deliver great amounts of food and wine to the room. This went on for a long time - The prince sitting in the room and food and wine being delivered to him. One day, the prince decided he had enough and he wanted to leave. He gets up and goes to walk out the door, but he’s eaten so much and grown so big, he can no longer fit out the door. He became a prisoner of his own appetite.

This is what happens to many of us - we become prisoners of our own desires.

The Mom’s advice: Self Control!

Fight for the less fortunate

The last two commands have been negative. This one is positive.

She says he needs to fulfill his purpose.

He is to speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.

He is speak up with those who do not have rights

He is to defend the poor and needy.

In other words, Care about Others

Illustration: Having a newborn means you make lots of trips to the Dr. Office. For shots, and checkups, etc. Neither of my kids walk in there and handle their own medical issues. They don’t discuss their issues with the dr. (Although my 3yr old told the dr. he was getting one more chance with her or he was out). No, they are helpless and need someone to speak up for them.

Think about a new mom and dad and their new duties. They have to speak up for the innocent newborn. Make sure that child is taken care of and defend them. We have to care for those who cannot care for themselves.

Find a Good Wife

Finally, she tells him to find a good wife.

Throughout the book of Proverbs, wisdom is personified as a women. She is calling out to us.

Some think that this poem is at then end of the book because it’s a culmination of all that’s been said.

The wise and excellent wife is contrasted in the book with the quarrelsome wife.

The point is clear - Pick

Proverbs 12:4 ESV

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 19:3 NLT

3 People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.

Proverbs 19:13 ESV

13 A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.

Proverbs 21:9 ESV

9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 27:15 ESV

15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

In contrast, the lady in ,

Is virtuous and capable

Her husband can trust her and she enriches his life.

She brings him good

She works hard

She is wise and has good business sense

She is energetic and strong

She is not lazy - and her husband and children call her blessed!

The implications are clear - Find the wrong spouse and they can ruin your life, find the right one and they will enrich it.

Fear the Lord

The final piece of advice I think this mom would give - Fear the Lord.

Follow Jesus - Proverbs was written long before Jesus comes on the scene, but I think if she could write it after the fact, the advice she would give her son - Follow Jesus.

A mom who fears the Lord, knows that her children must fear the Lord as well, and she works hard to pass this on to them.

In the New Testament Timothy’s mother and grandmother are examples of this.

2 Timothy 1:15 NLT

15 As you know, everyone from the province of Asia has deserted me—even Phygelus and Hermogenes.

2 Timothy 1:5 ESV

5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

Follow Jesus - This was written long before Jesus comes on the scene, but I think if she could write it after the fact, the advice she would give her son - Follow Jesus.

If you’re here this morning and you’re not following Jesus and you have a Godly mom, I want to echo hear words - Come home to Jesus.

Mom wants you to know and follow Jesus.

Mom wants you to know the peace and joy and wholeness that comes from giving your life to Him.

If your mom could stand up here this morning and speak, she would say that she loves you and she wants you to come home to the savior.

Illustration: there is nothing like a praying mom. Some of us would not be here today if it were not for a mom or a grandma who prayed for us. To your mom, you are her world her whole hears so to speak and when she goes to Jesus she gives her whole heart which includes you. Allow your mom to have her prayers answered today. Recommit to Jesus let him be your savior and make your momma happy :)

Conclusion

Restate the Main Idea: Follow Mom’s advice today! Follow Jesus.

So What? Today take some time to call your mom and thank her for the advice she’s given you.

Now What? This morning, if you’re far from Jesus, your mom’s advice would be to come home. Let’s get to this altar and come home.