Fatherhood-A Balancing Act
INTRODUCTION
Happy Father’s Day! Today is dedicated to all the Dads. This is the day that we think back on the men in our lives who taught us, provided for us, and loved us as we were growing.
Fatherhood is a tough job! It has been said that there is no training manual for the job, but I disagree. There have been many books written on this subject, books written by learned men who believe they have found the secret to successful fathering. I believe that the instructions for being a good father are found right in the Word of God.
Now God is the creator of the universe. It was He who created mankind and breathed life into it. With that in mind, it makes me wonder why we would ever go anywhere else to find our instructions. If our computer breaks down, we usually go to the manufacturer’s instructions to troubleshoot the problem, or we take it to a trained technician who has access to, and uses those same instructions.
If our television goes on the blink, we do the same thing. So why wouldn’t we go to the “manufacturer” of our children to find operating instructions? That is what I want us to do today.
Today I want talk to the Dads. I want to share with all the Dads what God says about Fatherhood, what His instructions are for successful fathering. Let’s turn to Ephesians 6:4:
Ephesians 6:4
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
NKJV
As you can see on the slide, I have emphasized three words from our verse. They are “provoke”, “training”, and “admonition”. We will look at those words and their meanings in some detail this morning. So let’s get started.
WHAT WE ARE NOT TO DO
Our Scripture starts with words of instruction to fathers concerning what we should not do. It tells us to not “provoke” our children. The word provoke in the Greek means to arouse to wrath or anger or to provoke to the point of utter exasperation and resentment.
What will “provoke” a child to that point? I believe there are at least four (4) things:
1. Failing to accept the fact that things do change.
Dads, I have an announcement that some of you need to hear. TIME AND THINGS DO CHANGE! This doesn’t mean that your child should be allowed to do everything that his generation does. But it does mean that parents need to be alert to the changes between generations and allow the child to be a part of his own generation instead of trying to conform the child to the parent’s childhood generation.
There must be a balance!
2. Overcontrolling a child.
Overcontrol ranges all the way from stern restriction and discipline to child abuse. Disciplining and restricting a child too much will either stifle the growth of a child or stir him to react and rebel, causing the child to flee from the parent.
There must be a balance!
3. Undercontrolling a child.
Undercontrolling a child is the most prevalent problem in our society today. Just to make ends meet, both parents have to work in many families. That leaves the children without parental control for at least a few hours each day. Some of those kids are the ones you hear about or read about in the news. Now, I am not saying that all so called “latch key” kids get in trouble, I am just saying that most who do get in trouble seem to live in that sort of environment.
But there are other reasons parents don’t exercise control over their kids. There seems to be a tendency among those with plenty or with wealth to pamper, indulge, and spoil their kids. There are several reasons for this but I won’t get into them this morning.
There must be a balance!
4. Living an inconsistent life before a child.
“Do as I say do and not as I do.”
A parent who tells a child one thing and then turns around and does the opposite thing himself is full of hypocrisy. Yet, this is far too common today. And then parents wonder why their kids are:
· Drinking alcohol
· Taking drugs
· Watching sexual scenes on TV or at the movies
· Reading immoral stories
· Looking at magazines exposing the human body
· Eating too much
· Wasting time
· Dressing or exposing the body to attract attention
And so on and so on….
Seeing an inconsistent life in a parent can provoke children.
There must be a balance!
WHAT WE ARE TO DO
Let’s return to our Scripture for this morning. We have learned what we, as fathers, are not to do, so now let’s look at what we are to do. Read with me…
Ephesians 6:4
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
NKJV
It tells us we are to train or nurture (KJV) them in the admonition of the Lord. That reminds me of another verse that gives us the same instructions. It is found in Proverbs…
Proverbs 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
NKJV
Now that word “nurture” means:
· The whole training and education of children,
· The cultivation of mind and morals,
· Commands and admonitions,
· Reproof and punishment,
· Correcting mistakes and curbing passions, and
· The increase of virtue
The word “admonition” means counsel, exhortation, or correction.
The instructions are simply this: a father is not to raise a child after his own ideas and notions of what is best for the child, but after the nurture and admonition of the LORD! In other words, the Bible is to be the guide for Christian parents in raising their children!
Unfortunately, that is not the case in most situations.
AS you can see, fatherhood is indeed a balancing act. It isn’t easy, but the rewards are out of this world.