Biblical Intimacy

Biblical Intimacy Jon Gruss / General Better Together / Affection; Sex; Marriage / 1 Corinthians 7:1–9 Notes from Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries Principles of Biblical Intimacy Three important reasons for studying the subject of sex. 1. Our  culture   endorses  a  wrong  view of sex and sexual relations. 2. Many believers have been  influenced  toward  unbiblical  views of sex. 3. God’s Word speaks  often  about the  right  and  wrong  view of sex and sexual relations. 1 Corinthians 7:1–9 ESV 1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Biblical truths regarding sex. “Sex is a gift from God, a gift to be enjoyed by a man and a women exclusively within marriage. It’s meant to accomplish several key purposes: union…intimacy…comfort, pleasure, and play…creation of life…protection from sexual temptation.” (CJ Mahaney, Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God, 74). The  creation  story explains that sex is a  gift  from God. According to Genesis, there was something  wonderful  about two genders of male and female in the mind of God. Man and woman were to be closely joined together… Therefore: • Sex was designed as a means of  procreation ; the very means by which mankind would carry out the commands to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” Gen 1:26-29 • Sex was designed as a  relational  concept as a part of  companionship . Gen 2:18-25 Sex, enjoyed within the biblical guidelines, brings  glory  to God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. A biblical worldview will include the belief that sex... • was  created  by God • is  encouraged  by God • and ultimately brings God  glory  when enjoyed by a  husband  and a  wife   within  the bonds of  covenant   marriage . • Therefore, our conversations about sex must include the  positive   values  that God designed in addition to the more commonly discussed condemnation for ungodly substitutions. “Without a robust account of the Christian vision of sex within marriage, the Christian insistence that unmarried folks refrain from sex just doesn’t make any sense.” (Laura Winner, Real Sex, 25). Sex is a  duty  for both spouses with an emphasis on  giving . 1 Corinthians 7:2–4 ESV But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. What we see here is: 1. Each person has a  duty  to fulfill. [3] 2. The focus on the duty is on  giving  to the  other   person . [3] 3. The husband and the wife have  equal   authority  over their spouse’s  bodies . [4] a. Not  self  seeking. b. Seek to  serve . i. The three concepts of duty, authority, and giving are very important. Questions…? • Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat  Implications  of these Biblical teachings. a. Scripture opposes  self   centeredness  in our relations. b. Scripture opposes  any  type of  premarital  sexual contact. c. Scripture opposes  pornography . d. Scripture opposes  homosexuality . “In light of the positive case the Bible makes for sex inside marriage, and the warnings it gives to those who practice sex outside marriage, we can conclude that any romantic and physical intimacy that is reserved for marriage should not be practiced outside of marriage.” (Tim Lane, Sex Before Marriage: How Far is Too Far?, 17). Sex should be  enjoyed   regularly  in marriage with breaks only for  prayer . 1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Four biblical guidelines from this passage for  refraining  from sexual relations. 1. There is  mutual   consent . 2. There is a  predetermined  and  prearranged  period of refraining. 3. There is a  goal  and a  focus  on one’s prayers. 4. The period of refraining is  terminated  by  sexual   relations . a. Wise  principles  for how frequent a husband and wife should engage each other. i. Enough to keep each other  satisfied . ii. Enough to avoid  temptation . Sex should be  celebrated  and  passionate . When it is we will experience... • Satisfaction in one’s own  spouse . [Prov. 5.15-19] • A  husband’s  passionate pursuit of his wife. [SOS 7.1-9] • A  wife’s  passionate pursuit of her husband. [SOS 5.10-16]  Issues  that these biblical truths  correct : a.  Taboos  b.  Perversions  Possible challenges related to accomplish these steps: •  Media  •  Past  events Steps to help us  exercise these biblical principles. “Most men can begin sexual intercourse after a bad day, a family argument, with worries galore, or with supper burning on the stove! But your wife will respond much more readily when motivated by respect and consideration on your part… Building an atmosphere of caring and romance is a sign of true love on the part of the husband.” (Ed Wheat, Intended for Pleasure, 37). Husbands 1.  Regularly   communicate  with your wife. 2. Seek to  romance  your wife and make her feel  special . a. [Date her, woo her] 3.  Provide  for and be  concerned  about her  interests . a. [both in the bedroom and out of it] 4. Be the  spiritual  leader in your home. Resources: • Exemplary Husband - Stuart Scott • Intended for Pleasure - Ed Wheat Wives 1. Seek to  grow  in  love  of your husband because of your  love  for Christ. 2. Seek to be  attractive  to  YOUR  husband. 3. Be  available  rather than make  excuses . 4.  Pursue  your husband rather than simply waiting to be  pursued . Resources: • Feminine Appeal - Carolyn Mahaney • Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God - Carolyn Mahaney • Creative Counterpart - Linda Dillow • Excellent Wife - Martha Peace Close Page 4. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 11:57 AM May 26, 2018.