Husbands Impacted By Grace

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Likewise...

What is this referring to?

I don’t think Peter is referring to the idea of submission as with the wives. Nowhere else in the NT are husbands commanded to be in submission to their wives.

Rather, I believe that “likewise” is referring back to the example of Christ’s suffering in 2.21

1 Peter 2:21 KJV 1900

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

This is not the extent of Christ’s suffering, but the manner in which Christ suffered.

1 Peter 2:22–23 KJV 1900

Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

Christ displayed grace in His suffering.

1 Peter 2:24–25 KJV 1900

Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

I Pet 2.

It was because of the grace of Christ put on display for us that caused us to return unto the Father, the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.

1 Peter 3:1 KJV 1900

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

Likewise, wives- be impacted by this grace and you yourselves put this same grace on display in your marriage relationships. This looks very different for the wives than it does for the husbands. For the wives it means submitting to their husbands.

The thought of being impacted by the grace of God, modeled for us by Christ, is what is carried over into 3.7

1 Peter 3:7 KJV 1900

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Likewise, husbands… Be impacted by the grace of God and put that same grace on display, put it into action in your relationship with your wives.

What does this look like? What does a marriage relationship look like when the husband is living a life powerfully impacted by grace?

I. He will seek for a high level of understanding in the marriage relationship

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge

συνοικοῦντες κατὰ γνῶσιν⸃

live with your wives in an understanding way

γνῶσις- comprehension or intellectual grasp of someth., knowledge. This is a general term and Peter does not specify what he means here by knowledge…therefore-

William Arndt et al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 203.

“The knowledge Peter intends here may include any knowledge that would be beneficial to the husband-wife relationship: knowledge of God’s purposes and principles for marriage; knowledge of the wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations; knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms; etc.” (Wayne Grudem)

Men is it our job to make sure we cultivate a marriage relationship were knowledge and understanding are valued and practiced on a regular basis.

Isn’t this interesting that God places the responsibility of understanding/knowledge/communication on the husband and not the wife?

Men how many of us really enjoy the art of communication? How many of us are like, ooohh boy let’s sit down and talk!

Men who here has been gifted with

Isn’t it interesting that for the wives Peter says,

1 Peter 3:1 KJV 1900

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

Without the word- better without a word. Ladies be careful that you don’t talk too much, and men be-careful to communicate all the time! Create an atmosphere of knowledge and understanding in your marriage relationship.

What kind of knowledge or understanding?

1. Knowledge of God’s purposes and principles for marriage

Does God’s Word have anything to say to us men about what it means to be godly husbands?

Like what?

Ephesians 5:25 KJV 1900

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:25–29 KJV 1900

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Eph 5.25-

Men it is your responsibility to have a thorough understanding of what the Scriptures says about being a godly husband. You are to live with your wives with this kind of knowledge and understanding.

How do we do that?

A husband who lives according to such knowledge will greatly enrich his marriage relationship—yet such knowledge can only be gained through regular study of God’s Word // and regular, unhurried times of private fellowship together as husband and wife.” (Wayne Grudem)

2. Knowledge of your wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations

OK men, how do enjoy a marriage relationship that has a high level of understanding of your wife’s desires, goals, and frustrations?

Spend time with her…what do we mean when we say that? Is it possible to spend time with your wife and yet never grow in your understanding of her?

Illustration: Being near each other, and with each other, but totally oblivious to each other- zoned out on your cell phones.

Intimacy- shared experiences with one another. How often do you share the same space as your wife, but you never share the same experiences with your wife?

How do we improve on this?

5x5’s- every day get within 5 feet (or closer) of your wife and ask her 5 questions about her day.

Shared calendar- example- shared google calendar

Purposeful discussions- date night / once a month where you specifically ask her…

What are your desires in our relationship?

What are some of your goals that you would like to accomplish?

What are your frustrations or your fears?

Set apart a time to pray regularly together.

3. Knowledge of her strengths and weaknesses in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms

OK, I know guys you all have so many suggestions in this area that your list them for me like popcorn right?

Ladies I would like some input from you on this so be thinking of ways we as men can facilitate this kind of knowledge in our marriages.

One way I have learned about my wife’s strengths and weaknesses is by praying regularly with her. Men if you create an atmosphere of transparency through prayer it will encourage her to do the same. In other words pray with her and open up in prayer about your own physical, emotional, and spiritual weaknesses and strengths. This creates a opportunity for her to do likewise. How many of us set aside time to regularly pray with our wives? Would this not create an atmosphere of understanding in your marriage?

Another way I have learned this is through experience. Years of careful observation, intentional observation can help you to know these things about her.

Sitting down with her and asking her, and then asking her what she thinks your strengths and weaknesses are.

What does a marriage relationship look like when the husband is living a life powerfully impacted by grace?

II. He will seek for a high level of honor in the marriage relationship

1 Peter 3:7 KJV 1900

ἀπονέμοντες τιμὴν

showing them honor

ὡς ἀσθενεστέρῳ σκεύει τῷ γυναικείῳ,*

as the weaker vessels

ὡς καὶ ⸁συγκληρονόμοις ⸄χάριτος ζωῆς⸅

and as co-heirs of the grace of life

Honor- to show high regard for, or to revere

2 Peter 1:17 KJV 1900

17 For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

2 Pet 1

This was during Christ’s transfiguration. The Father bestowed honor on the Son. He showed a high regard for the Son. This honor was bestowed in the form of God’s voice saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” By this Christ received honor.

The command for the husband is to give or to show the wives honor. The idea here is to grant that which is appropriate in a relationship- to assign, or to show

So men we are to show an appropriate amount of high regard for our wives in our marriage relationship.

How do we know what is appropriate?

Peter gives us two similes to help us understand the appropriate amount of honor.

Husbands are to show honor to the wives

1. As the weaker vessels

What does Peter mean when we compares women to weaker vessels? In what ways are women weaker than men?

The First Epistle of Peter D. Propriety of Spouses Vis-À-Vis an Unbelieving Spouse (3:1–7)

The sense of “weaker,” then, is not weaker in mind or morally inferior, an opinion widely held in the Greek and Hebrew world (e.g., Plato, Leg. 6.781b; cf. Rom. 5:6, which uses this sense for all humans), nor weaker in conscience (e.g., 1 Cor. 8:7–11; Rom. 14:1), for the previous exhortation has just called women to feats of moral and spiritual strength as independent moral agents, but weaker physically than men, as both Jews and Greeks observed

The New American Commentary: 1, 2 Peter, Jude (4) Husbands, Live Knowledgeably with Your Wives (3:7)

In what sense are women “weaker”? Nothing else in the New Testament suggests that women are intellectually inferior, nor is it clear that women are weaker emotionally, for in many ways the vulnerability of women in sharing their emotions and feelings demonstrates that they are more courageous and stronger than men emotionally. Nor did Peter suggest that women are weaker morally or spiritually than men.179 Such a view would suggest that men are actually better Christians than women, which is not taught elsewhere in the Scriptures, nor is it evident in history. The most obvious meaning, therefore, is that women are weaker than men in terms of sheer strength.

Why would Peter point out the fact that women are weaker physically than men? And why is that a reason to show her honor?

The First Epistle of Peter D. Propriety of Spouses Vis-À-Vis an Unbelieving Spouse (3:1–7)

It normally was quite easy for a husband to abuse his wife physically or sexually, or, because of his social power, including the power to divorce, intimidate her emotionally. All of this Peter rules out: especially because of her vulnerability he is to be sure to honor her in word and deed

Another sense in which some might understand the woman to be “weaker” is the idea of her submission to her husband.

Back in 3.1 the wives are told to be in subjection/submission to their own husbands. Normally, especially in secular thought, there is a huge amount of backlash connected to this idea. The very reason that women do not want to submit is to avoid appearing weak. They get this picture in their minds of a the husband almost being a slave master, and the wife is forced into doing whatever her master wills. THIS IS NOT BIBLICAL SUBMISSION! THIS IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLICAL PICTURE OF A MARRIAGE SHOULD LOOK LIKE.

Men, your wife is physically weaker than you- that is they way God created men and women. She is also told to submit to you as her husband. Again, the only reason this is so- because God told her to do so. How should you treat her in the marriage relationship as the weaker vessel? Like a master treats a slave? NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT! You treat her with HONOR! You hold her in HIGH REGARD. This a beautiful thing. When a wife submits to her husband (because that is what God told her to do), and when a husband treats his wife with honor (because that is they way God designed marriage to function)- The resulting relationship- your marriage- becomes beautiful. When both husband and wife are displaying the grace of God in their relationship- the result is spectacular.

Husbands are to show honor to the wives

2. As co-heirs of the grace of life

1 Peter 3:7 KJV 1900

ὡς καὶ ⸁συγκληρονόμοις ⸄χάριτος ζωῆς⸅

and as co-heirs of the grace of life

This thought balances out the previous thought of in some ways being weak. Yes the wife is weaker physically, and maybe positionally in the sense that God has told her to submit to her husband. But that does not mean that she is inferior to the husband in any way.

Rather she is a co-heir.

Romans 8:17 KJV 1900

17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Man or woman, it doesn’t matter, if one is a child of God- then they are both heirs of God and joint-heirs or co-heirs with Christ.

In God’s eyes, when it comes to the eschatological reward for believers, whether they be men or women, both are rewarded equally. In other words they are the same in God’s eyes. One is not better or worse than the other. They are equal.

Galatians 3:28 KJV 1900

28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

What are they co-heirs of? the grace of life.

What does Peter mean when he talks about the grace of life?

Children (Dr. Jaspers)

Marriage relationship itself (MacArthur) “The grace of life, which refers not to eternal life, but to the true and intimate friendship that belongs only to those who are possessors of God’s most blessed gift in this life—marriage.”

Eschatological life. “The language of heirs points toward the eschatological gift (cf. 1:4; 3:9) that both men and women who believe will receive on the last day. Men should honor women because they share the same destiny—an eternal inheritance in God’s kingdom.186 Any suggestion that women will receive a lesser reward is repudiated. The “life” in the phrase “gift of life” should be understood eschatologically (cf. 3:10), referring to the life that will be ours in the coming age.” Schreiner, 161. This view fits the best with the rest of Scriptures use of the word “co-heirs.”

Thomas R. Schreiner, 1, 2 Peter, Jude, vol. 37, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2003), 161.

The point that Peter is making is that in God’s eyes men and woman are fundamentally equal- therefore men treat your wives with honor.

Finally notice the consequence of failing to show your wife the honor she deserves

3. That your prayers may not be hindered

1 Peter 3:7 KJV 1900

7 ⸀Οἱ ἄνδρες ὁμοίως, ⸂

Likewise, husbands,

συνοικοῦντες κατὰ γνῶσιν⸃

live with your wives in an understanding way

ἀπονέμοντες τιμὴν

showing them honor

ὡς ἀσθενεστέρῳ σκεύει τῷ γυναικείῳ,*

as the physically weaker vessels

ὡς καὶ ⸁συγκληρονόμοις ⸄χάριτος ζωῆς⸅

and as co-heirs of the gracious gift of eschatological life

εἰς τὸ μὴ ἐγκόπτεσθαι ⸂1τὰς προσευχὰς⸃ ὑμῶν.

So that your prayers may not be hindered.

God takes your relationship with your wives so seriously, that if you mistreat her, if you fail to honor her- you will be living in sin and as a result your fellowship with God will be broken- and your prayers to God will be hindered- He will not answer your prayers.

The First Epistle of Peter D. Propriety of Spouses Vis-À-Vis an Unbelieving Spouse (3:1–7)

As the closest human relationship, the relationship to one’s spouse must be most carefully cherished if one wishes a close relationship with God.

The New American Commentary: 1, 2 Peter, Jude (4) Husbands, Live Knowledgeably with Your Wives (3:7)

God does not bless with his favor those who are in positions of authority and abuse those who are under them by mistreating them.

1 Peter 3:12 KJV 1900

12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

“So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he ‘interrupts’ his relationship with them when they are not doing so. No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer. And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife in an understanding way, bestowing honor on her. To take the time to develop and maintain a good marriage is God’s will; it is serving God; it is a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight.” Wayne Grudem

So men- how can we bestow honor to our wives? How do we honor her like she deserves?

Open doors for her, help her be seated at a restaurant, buy her flowers, write her notes of appreciation, praise her in front of your kids, surprise her, find and do activities that she enjoys, help out around the house, take her on dates, sometimes buy nice things for her, never speak negatively about her in public, tell her thank you, give her a night out with her friends, be creative- always be on the look out for ways to honor your wife.

This is the marriage relationship that God wants you to have. This does not happen by chance. This does not happen by simply wishing it to happen. Men, this will take real effort, planning, work, determination, prayer, diligent study of God’s word, encouragement from likeminded believers, an abiding vibrant relationship with Christ.

Imagine what your marriage could look like if you cultivated a high level of understanding between you and your wife, and a high level of honor between you and your wife. Wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing? This is what God wants for each you men. It is your responsibility to foster understanding and to bestow honor. What specific steps do you need to put into place right now to apply God’s truth to your marriage?

Related Media

Related Sermons