Emotional Vampires
Relational Vampires • Sermon • Submitted
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THREATS Do it—Regret it. Perform—Punished.
GUILT After all I’ve done for you—Won’t do one thing.
1.Know what you are called to do.
1)Know what you are called to do.
2.Know when someone is trying to control you.
3.Know when to draw a line in the sand.
The relationships you have are a combination of what you’ve created and allowed.
If you don’t like what you have, change what you expect and what you accept.
Love you—Won’t let you threaten me or heap guilt me.Hurt, because I love you—Not going to bail you out this time.
RELATIONAL VAMPIRES—1
CONTROLLING PEOPLE
How many of you know a control freak?
You raised hand—Someone next to you pulled down.
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- Authority figure—Abusing power.
- Not intentionally malicious person—Hurting—Afraid—Insecure.
- Emotional black hole: Not matter what u do—Attention—More.
Pout—Stomp—Whine—Complain—Threaten—Silent treat—Egg shells
Thinking of someone? Don’t point at them.
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THE CONTROLLERS TWO GREATEST WEAPONS
THREATS Do it—Regret it. Perform—Punished.
If you don’t—Make you pay.
Boyfriend threatens break up if don’t do what he wants sexually.
Boss terrifies you—Always on edge—Spouse threatens leave—Nothing.
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GUILT After all I’ve done for you—Won’t do one thing.
Thought we’re close—Obviously can’t count on you
Friend, “You call yourself a friend? Some friend you are.”
Relative says—Never call—Too busy—Don’t love me—
: Story about Jesus and Peter—Peter tries control.
Jesus was explaining to his disciples that he was going to suffer
Give his life—Raised back to life—Peter—Oh, no you’re not.
And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Matthew 16:
22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” 23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
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THREE THINGS TO KNOW
1.Know what you are called to do.
Seek and Save Sinners—Give Life Ransom—Killed—Raised to Life.
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Define what you are called to do. (Cure cancer, Missionary Mexico)
Called to Husband to Wife—Wife to Husband—Parent to Children.
Graduate school—Serve in church—Witness at work.
I Know what my calling is: Love Megan—Lead children—Pastor church.
Problem: I’m a people pleaser!
How many you? (Raised hand make me feel better)
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People pleasing is a form of idolatry.
Putting people’s opinions of you ahead of God’s calling for you.
Calling clarifies! Lot of people have a plan for my time—Yours.
Can’t: Save every, Meet every, Do everything (Love Megan, Kids, Church)
Know what you are called to do—Calling creates clarity
What does every controlling person have in common? One thing every…
Every controlling person has someone who allows it.
The person who does the controlling has a problem.
So do we—if we consistently allow it to happen.
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1)Know what you are called to do.
2.Know when someone is trying to control you.
Jesus says—This is what I must do—God’s will—Give—Raised.
Peter stands Jesus down—Tries to take control—No! Never Lord!
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Worst guy ever lived? Hate God? Plan to distract Jesus saving people?
No—Just won Jesus Jeopardy.
Who do you say I am? People didn’t reveal—God revealed.
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Why did Peter try control Jesus?
Peter didn’t understand God’s plan!
Recognize someone threatening you—Guilt—Isolate you from friends.
Manipulate you —Get you meet needs you weren’t designed meet.
* Know my calling
* Know when someone trying control you.
3.Know when to draw a line in the sand.
but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”
23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Get behind)
Grandma makes you feel guilty—Not going to let you—Call her Satan.
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Imagine Jesus is co-dependent. Identity is based on what Peter thinks.
Peter manipulates: Don’t do it—Won’t be disciple—Unfollow insta.
Won’t do it—Do what you want—Don’t throw fit—Hurt your feelings.
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If u give control to person—God isn’t directing you—Someone else is.
You do not have in mind: Things of God—Things of men.
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The relationships you have are a combination of what you’ve created and allowed.
Marriage—Parents—Siblings—Friends—Co-worker—Boss—Kids
Create healthy patterns—Allow unhealthy ones.
If you don’t like what you have, change what you expect and what you accept.
Expect something better—Will not accept disrespect, anger, tone.
Toddler fit—Not getting what want. (Expect—Accept)
Love you—Won’t let you threaten me or heap guilt me.Hurt, because I love you—Not going to bail you out this time.
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Draw a line in sand—Change the dynamics: Shout—Withdraw—Critical.
Reason is they are hurt. Is this difficult—YES!
So is living in a dysfunctional relationship.
Past hurt is something way better.
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Let’s be honest—Easy to point at others who want to control us.
Many of us battle with same thing—I DO.
God loves you—I have a wonderful plan for your life!
Control freak. I want to play God!
I don’t make a good God and neither do you!
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Change spouse? Kids future? Force someone to overcome addiction?
God?
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Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
When you follow Jesus—You are not in control?
evaluate people in your life that you are enabling and allowing to control you… allow God to regain control
pray for them & help them to let go of control