The Telescopic Father

I could make the presuppose that as I speak, everyone is highly interested in hearing the Word of God. That might or might not be true. Some of you may be so overcome with life’s issues, that your stresses and worries are choking out the word of God.

I presuppose when I speak that God is working in everyone who is listening. He is working to make you willing and to give you the strength and ability to do what he calls you to do. That is a foundational presupposition I bring into the pulpit with me. God is working…

We also have presuppositions about what a father is. We have learned what a father is from our own parent. In some cases you have had a great father and your picture of fatherhood is shaped by that experience.

In other cases, your father was not a good father. Your definition of what a father should be might be expresses in negatives. “A good father doesn’t…”.

You function as a father with these presuppositions.

The Bible has some presuppositions about what a father is like. These characteristics are not taught, they are assumed. Writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the psalmist in Psalm 103:13 spells them out.

Psalm 103:13 ESV

13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Assumption: Fathers are compassionate

“As a father shows compassion…”. This phrase makes the assumption that fathers are compassionate people toward their children.

If there is one mark of a Christian father, of a Biblically centered father, it is that father is compassionate towards their children.

Johnny Cash sang a popular song written by Shel Silverstein. His father named him Sue and then left him. For years Sue was angry at his father, forced to fight because of his feminine name. He went looking for his father, found him in a bar, and was so full of anger he tried to kill him. His father was tough and they fought hard. The father said to Sue, “I named you that because I knew you would either need to be tough or you would die.” The last verse of the song gives Sue’s reaction.

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun And I called him my pa, and he called me his son And I came away with a different point of view And I think about him, now and then Every time I try and every time I win And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him

Bill or George, anything but Sue.

The presupposition was that boys need to grow up to be tough men. One wonders if this imaginary person had a different name if the same would have been true. One also wonders why this imaginary person didn’t give himself a nickname of Bill, George, or John to avoid the inevitable confrontations.

One thing missing in this is any assumption that a father should be compassionate. If one thinks that making a boy tough and mean so they can survive in this world is compassionate, then you are missing the mark.

The Bible assumes that fathers will be compassionate toward their children.

The Bible is so certain that a mark of compassion is a hallmark of a father, that it uses this picture to reveal to us a compassionate God.

Psalm 103:13 ESV

13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Our children are not born real smart. They also have an assumption, a presupposition. Our children believe that God is like their father. You can say that you never taught them that, that you don’t live up to that standard, but it is true.

A young child walked by my office with his father and said, “That is where God works…”. In a case of mistaken identity, he identified me with God.

Years ago, I worked overnight in a home for abused children. I was instructed not to mention God as a father because these children had fathers who beat them, burnt them, abused them and demeaned them. Even the mention of that word, father, might send them off on an emotional tirade.

You will find people in this church whose overall opinion of their own fathers is low. Either they were over-critical, absent, or abusive in some way.

When a father does not show compassion, one lesson learned by the children is that God will be hard on them if they mess up. They will not understand grace. They will not see the balance unless it is there. A Christian, for them, will be someone who always does what is right. If that person messes up, God will get them. And they will take what they learned from you about how to be a father and apply it with your grandchildren.

Fathers, when you show compassion to your children, you show them God.

This is why I entitled the message, “The telescopic father.” They see God through you! The unknown God is brought close when they see Christ in you.

A key element in your ability to show compassion is mentioned in verse 14.

Psalm 103:14 ESV

14 For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

The reason for the Lord’s compassion mirrors the reason for your compassion. Our children are but dust…

God has wonderfully rearranged the dust into a moving, talking, food eating wonder. Our children, however wonderful they may be, are not perfect.

They start off knowing nothing and are learning every day. They have deficiencies of knowledge.

They start off weak and gain in strength. They will never be absolutely strong. There will always be physical limitations.

They are born with a general lack of awareness of God. As their intellect grows, their understanding of God, of right and wrong grows as well. But they will never fully get it. How do I know? Because neither you nor I have ever fully gotten it.

Some father’s do not accept the natural limitations of their children. If they don’t know something, they call them stupid. If they tire or struggle lifting something, they are yelled at and berated for lacking strength. When they do something wrong, they are put down as idiots or severely punished.

The Bible is all for discipline. But one of the major traits of a father is that a father, like God, should be compassionate. They should recognize that their children are naturally weak and give them a break.

Assumption: Compassion is given to those who show respect

The second presupposition is that compassion will be given to those who show respect.

Psalm 103:13 ESV

13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

The word “compassion” is used to describe two people of different standing.

“This root refers to deep love (usually of a “superior” for an “inferior”) rooted in some “natural” bond.”

[1] Leonard J. Coppes, “2146 רָחַם,” ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer Jr., and Bruce K. Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (Chicago: Moody Press, 1999), 841.

The parents are the “superior.” The “inferior” are the children. Parents are superior in that they are responsible for raising the children, the children are not responsible for raising the parents. Children are to obey their parents, parents are not to obey their children.

In order for this to work, there needs to be an element of fear, an element of respect.

Does God have compassion on everyone? This verse says that God has compassion on those who fear him, those who respect him.

This helps us to understand Jesus in

Luke 7:36–50 ESV

36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.” 41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” 44 Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Here is a woman who comes in and shamelessly washes Jesus’ feet. What an outrage. Do you know what kind of woman she was? Do you know what people are going to say about you?

Jesus’ answer can be summarized in this way. Simon, you showed me no respect. You didn’t wash my feet, you didn’t give the normal greeting of a kiss, you didn’t provide oil to anoint my head, you treated me with great disrespect.

This woman did everything you didn’t do. She washed my feet with her tears, she kissed his feet and anointed him with a very expensive ointment. She showed great respect for Jesus.

Jesus had compassion on her. The Lord has compassion on those who fear him.

Those of you who grew up in good homes know what I am talking about. You loved your father and your father loved you. But you definitely respected him as well. You knew there were lines that you didn’t cross with him and you respected those lines…most of the time.

One of the most important lessons children need to learn is respect. No parent should allow their children to call them names. No parent should allow their children to exhibit disrespect. A child might be angry at a situation and we need to have compassion for that child. But what we cannot permit is for them to express that anger in disrespect.

Nor should any parent allow a child to disrespect the other parent. A child may be angry or frustrated, but to vent on one of the parents in a disrespectful way is not the right way to handle it. You can have compassion that tries to understand the anger or frustration. You can try to help a child express that in a positive way. But you cannot let them disrespect you or your spouse. That is not God’s plan.

How do you teach respect?

You teach respect by being respectful.

When you speak respectfully to your wife, the children see and take notice. When you speak respectfully to your children, they feel the respect, even when you don’t agree with them.

You teach respect by respecting God.

Let’s say your child decides to get serious about a relationship with Christ. They read their Bible first thing in the morning, talk about it during the day, and then read it again before they go to bed? Let’s say your child has a real heart for God. As they read and learn, will they look at you and see from your life what is written on the pages of the word of God?

Someone recently pointed out the power of using our own name in certain passages to see how we are doing. If we respect God, we will accept his compassion, but will also be doing his will.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Substitute your name in these verses in place of love. If loving God and loving one another are the two great purposes of God in our lives, then we should be able to say, “Yes, that’s true about me…” or, “I am working on this…”

God knows those who respect him.

2 Timothy 2:19 ESV

19 But God’s firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.”

God will have compassion on anyone who respects him but struggles with making changes. As a father, you become a telescope through which your children see God when you ask for respect, but have compassion on them as they learn and grow.