Fathers' Responsibility and Influence

Judges 8:22–9:6 NKJV

Then the men of Israel said to Gideon, “Rule over us, both you and your son, and your grandson also; for you have delivered us from the hand of Midian.” But Gideon said to them, “I will not rule over you, nor shall my son rule over you; the Lord shall rule over you.” Then Gideon said to them, “I would like to make a request of you, that each of you would give me the earrings from his plunder.” For they had golden earrings, because they were Ishmaelites. So they answered, “We will gladly give them.” And they spread out a garment, and each man threw into it the earrings from his plunder. Now the weight of the gold earrings that he requested was one thousand seven hundred shekels of gold, besides the crescent ornaments, pendants, and purple robes which were on the kings of Midian, and besides the chains that were around their camels’ necks. Then Gideon made it into an ephod and set it up in his city, Ophrah. And all Israel played the harlot with it there. It became a snare to Gideon and to his house. Thus Midian was subdued before the children of Israel, so that they lifted their heads no more. And the country was quiet for forty years in the days of Gideon. Then Jerubbaal the son of Joash went and dwelt in his own house. Gideon had seventy sons who were his own offspring, for he had many wives. And his concubine who was in Shechem also bore him a son, whose name he called Abimelech. Now Gideon the son of Joash died at a good old age, and was buried in the tomb of Joash his father, in Ophrah of the Abiezrites. So it was, as soon as Gideon was dead, that the children of Israel again played the harlot with the Baals, and made Baal-Berith their god. Thus the children of Israel did not remember the Lord their God, who had delivered them from the hands of all their enemies on every side; nor did they show kindness to the house of Jerubbaal (Gideon) in accordance with the good he had done for Israel. Then Abimelech the son of Jerubbaal went to Shechem, to his mother’s brothers, and spoke with them and with all the family of the house of his mother’s father, saying, “Please speak in the hearing of all the men of Shechem: ‘Which is better for you, that all seventy of the sons of Jerubbaal reign over you, or that one reign over you?’ Remember that I am your own flesh and bone.” And his mother’s brothers spoke all these words concerning him in the hearing of all the men of Shechem; and their heart was inclined to follow Abimelech, for they said, “He is our brother.” So they gave him seventy shekels of silver from the temple of Baal-Berith, with which Abimelech hired worthless and reckless men; and they followed him. Then he went to his father’s house at Ophrah and killed his brothers, the seventy sons of Jerubbaal, on one stone. But Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left, because he hid himself. And all the men of Shechem gathered together, all of Beth Millo, and they went and made Abimelech king beside the terebinth tree at the pillar that was in Shechem.

Judges 8:

In the Book of the Apostle Paul said “I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

This headship is a non-negotiable role instituted by God, and attached is all the responsibility that goes with it.

Our modern society with all it’s intriguing philosophies and new theories, pits itself unwisely against the wisdom of God!

As men, and more importantly as fathers, we will not be counted blameless for not assuming the role of leaders in our families, Christian or not!

And, we will be held accountable as to how we lead!

So, I,m going to give you three areas where we can fail big time!

I hope this helps you to avoid the pitfalls so many have fallen prey to.

I hope this helps you to avoid the pitfalls so many have fallen prey to.

I. Modeling wrong actions.

The Apostle Paul said:

1 Corinthians 11:1 NKJV

Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

An important concept we must not overlook!

Everyday, we are a living example to those around us!

Whether a mom, dad, child, coach, teacher, boss, employee, etc.

Regardless of where we are, or what we are doing, there are eyes watching us, and minds contemplating our every action.

Did you know that -

A. Children remember everything they see.

And because from their earliest years of development, children are visually stimulated, and visual learners.

For Abimalech it was the ephod that became an object of worship, which his own father made.

For Abimalech it was the Ephod that became an object of worship, which his own father made.

That ephod was covered with pure gold!

The ephod became an object of devotion and what it represented became an object of desire.

It’s lasting impression upon Gideon’s son caused Abimalech to desire recognition and glory, which he purchased with the very lives of his 70 brothers he had killed!

There are many things we can set up to be a similar ephod in our own lives, which shape and change the course of our children’s actions.

B. There is no neutral ground when it comes to examples.

Either it glorifies God, self, or the world system which is Satanic.

A neutral position would be like telling your children, “do as I say not as I do”!

It just doesn’t work that way!

Our actions must be consistent with what we say, and if what we say is inconsistent with what God says, we need to change what we say!

II. Leading without contemplation.

Psalm 14:1 NKJV

The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good.

If you think about it, it is all too common for us to lead or guide without any thought of God whatsoever!

We make choices in leadership,

in our families,

in our work,

and in our play,

that are foolish because our heart says loud and clear, there is no God!

It’s not that we don’t believe in God, it’s that we don’t believe He belongs in the matter at hand, and we don’t believe it, because we don’t act it.

We lead our families without any contemplation at all for the godless results that will manifest in our wives and our children, or future generations for that matter!

Our godless leading will bring shame and heartache to those we have been given the responsibility to shape.

A. Vicarious endeavors.

As fathers we have a tendency to see our children walking in our footsteps.

That may be good or bad. But it certainly is not good if we are pushing them so we can live out our unfulfilled dreams in them!

B. Monetary endeavors.

If all we seek is financial success,

a Bigger house,

a better position,

more toys,

we will certainly steer our children’s hearts away from serving the living God.

C. loveless endeavors.

Even within the framework of the Christian church, there are fathers whose prejudice, racism, and judgmental attitude, changes the course of life for their children.

In all three of these areas, God provides a remedy:

Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

III. Failing to take responsibility.

And

Ecclesiastes 4:5 NKJV

The fool folds his hands And consumes his own flesh.

Eclesiastes 4:5

Proverbs 24:30–32 NKJV

I went by the field of the lazy man, And by the vineyard of the man devoid of understanding; And there it was, all overgrown with thorns; Its surface was covered with nettles; Its stone wall was broken down. When I saw it, I considered it well; I looked on it and received instruction:

Proverbs 24:30–34 NKJV

I went by the field of the lazy man, And by the vineyard of the man devoid of understanding; And there it was, all overgrown with thorns; Its surface was covered with nettles; Its stone wall was broken down. When I saw it, I considered it well; I looked on it and received instruction: A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest; So shall your poverty come like a prowler, And your need like an armed man.

Proverbs

Allow me to share some statistics of fatherless-ness:

In short, if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of his wife’s devotion, between a half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally.

The Gospel Coalition - Dec. 16, 2010

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)

But, you might be thinking, “well I’m doing fine because I am here, and I have not abandoned my family.”

Yet, being present physically is little help when your family needs an emotionally stable and loving father, who takes his responsibility seriously!

Your wife and your children, need a husband and a father who is involved, concerned, contemplative, and not afraid to lead!

And I’ll say this un-apologetically:

If your work life is too busy to be present and connected with your family, taking time to pour into them, then your doing it wrong!

And, it’s a futile endeavor!

Because in the end, when we as men stand before God, there will be no award for the things or possessions we have accumulated! We will however give an account as to how we led in life and in our family!

We will however give an account as to how we led in life and in our family!