The Undeniable, Irreplaceable Need for Godly Fathers
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Introduction
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.
Introduction
Attention - Stats on fathers...
Brett and Kate McKay | June 19, 2015
Last updated: May 27, 2018
Fatherhood, Relationships & Family
The Importance of Fathers (According to Science)
The Importance of Fathers (According to Science)
Brett and Kate McKay | June 19, 2015 / Last updated: May 27, 2018
Last updated: May 27, 2018
Fatherhood, Relationships & Family
In 1960, only 10% of children were raised without a father in the home. Today, 40% are.
Today, 40% are.
Children With Fathers Are Less Likely to Live in Poverty
Children With Fathers Are Less Likely to Live in Poverty
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 44% of children in mother-only families were living in poverty, compared to only 12% of children living in a household headed by a married couple. The U.S. Department of Health has reported similar statistics that connect absent fathers with poverty. In a 2012 report, they found that children living in female-headed households with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6%, over 4 times the rate of married-couple families.
The U.S. Department of Health has reported similar statistics that connect absent fathers with poverty. In a 2012 report, they found that children living in female-headed households with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6%, over 4 times the rate of married-couple families.
Children With Fathers Do Better in School
Children With Fathers Do Better in School
A 2001 study by the Department of Education showed that students whose fathers were highly involved at school were 43% more likely to receive A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Do Jail Time
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Do Jail Time
A report in the Journal of Marriage and Family showed that even after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who live in father-absent homes.
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Be Sexually Active as Teenagers
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Be Sexually Active as Teenagers
A recent study showed that involved dads have twice the influence as moms on reducing teen sex.
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Be Obese
Children Without Fathers Are More Likely to Be Obese
Children in father-absent homes have a higher risk of becoming obese and suffer all the health risks that come with excess weight. But even if dad is around, it doesn’t necessarily mean his kids will be fit. In fact, several studies report that fathers have the biggest impact on the overall fitness and weight of their children.
Children With Fathers Get More Roughhousing (And Roughhousing Makes Kids Awesome)
Children With Fathers Get More Roughhousing (And Roughhousing Makes Kids Awesome)
But even if dad is around, it doesn’t necessarily mean his kids will be fit. In fact, several studies report that fathers have the biggest impact on the overall fitness and weight of their children.
Cross-cultural studies have found that the one thing fathers across the world have in common is that they roughhouse with their kids more than moms. And roughhousing, according to science, makes kids awesome. As we highlighted in a previous post, roughhousing makes kids resilient, smart, moral, and socially adept.
Children With Fathers Are More Likely to Have a Larger Vocabulary
Children With Fathers Are More Likely to Have a Larger Vocabulary
As Paul Raeburn highlights in his book Do Fathers Matter?, recent research suggests that dads actually play just as an important, if not more important, role in the verbal fluency of their children. Professor Lynne Vernon-Feagans and her team conducted a study to measure parental influence on early childhood verbal development. The surprising result from this study was that fathers, not mothers, had much more of an influence on a child’s verbal adeptness.
Children With Fathers Are More Likely to Be Encouraged to Take Healthy Risks
Children With Fathers Are More Likely to Be Encouraged to Take Healthy Risks
While mothers tend to focus on their child’s safety and well-being, dads are more likely to encourage risk and independent thinking in their children which will benefit them well into adulthood. As family and marriage researcher Professor Brad Wilcox has noted, researchers have found that dads are more likely than moms to encourage their kids to talk to strangers, take on challenges, and to think for themselves.
Children With Fathers Gain Many Additional Benefits to Health and Happiness
Children With Fathers Gain Many Additional Benefits to Health and Happiness
The Grant Study, the longest longitudinal study ever done on the lives of men, found that a man’s father influenced his life in many ways exclusive to his relationship with his mother. Loving fathers imparted to their sons:
enhanced capacity to play more enjoyment of vacations greater likelihood of being able to use humor as a healthy coping mechanismbetter adjustment to, and contentment with, life after retirementless anxiety and fewer physical and mental symptoms under stress in young adulthood
enhanced capacity to play
more enjoyment of vacations
greater likelihood of being able to use humor as a healthy coping mechanism
better adjustment to, and contentment with, life after retirement
less anxiety and fewer physical and mental symptoms under stress in young adulthood
In the negative column, it “was not the men with poor mothering but the ones with poor fathering who were significantly more likely to have poor marriages over their lifetimes.” Men who lacked a positive relationship with their fathers were also “much more likely to call themselves pessimists and to report having trouble letting others get close.”
Well, what do you know? God knew what He was doing when He created Fathers...
My dad, the guy who consciously decided to open his home to me, taught me three things...
It was a hard pill to swallow....
Faithfulness to Church, family, friends and neighbors.
Hard work
How to love (my wife in particular)
Need - Now, more than ever, we need men to step in and step up! We need Godly men who are not ashamed of their God or the all important role God has called them to play.
Bridging Sentences - It is interesting that the world, while in many ways is fighting against it, also is realizing the need for good men to be good fathers. Our children do not need bad, absent, angry, jerk to their mother, fathers. In fact, what our children and wives really need are men who love Jesus more than anything!
Our wives, our children, our charter township, our country needs not just good men to stand up and do what is right, but Godly guys who will ACT LIKE MEN!
Yes, today we celebrate men. It is good to be a man! It’s even better to be a godly man and better still to be a godly man who serves and invests in the next generation of potential followers of Jesus.
Modifier: Godly
But in order for this to happen, we must understand what it means to be God’s kind of man!
Textual Idea: Paul wants the men at Corinth to act accordingly. He tells them in verses 13-14 what a Godly man looks like...
Sermon Idea: Act Like Men- God’s Way!
Interrogative: How?
Transition: Four ways. Four characteristics found in these verses that show men how to act in a godly way.
And the first way is...
Body (Satisfaction)
1. Act Like a Watchful Man
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.
Explanation - Literally “Be watchful” means to be on your guard. Unfortunately we can easily get distracted from what it important...
Barney Fife always thought very highly of himself in his line of work, but He was the worst...
“The Rock”
Unfortunately, we as men can be like ole’ Deputy Barney Fife! Over confident that we’ve got things well under control or maybe a little bumbling when it comes to doing our job as guards?
Paul is challenging the men in particular to be on guard. This, of course begs the question, what are they to be watching out for? Two potential ideas...
The return of the Lord
Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left. Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into.
Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.
But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.
The guy would have been watchful had he known when the criminal was to break into his home. And we are to be watchful knowing at an minute the Lord will return...
-11-13
2. Be on guard against the ever present threats to the faith...
The
Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Illustration - Men, Dads! One of the biggest responsibilities you have is to be a guard in front of the spiritual house God has called you to protect…I know there are many guys in this room have provisions to protect their home. They have a tremendous arsenal of weapons. In fact some of the homes represented here this morning, well, it just would not go well for those who who might break into said home…You are well protected! As you should be!
Argumentation - But gentlemen, you are not only to guard your family physically, you are to guard them (even more so) spiritually as well! You are to stand guard at the spiritual door of your home and fight doggedly against the many prevailingly philosophies of the day! They may be very subtle and even sound good and come into your home with reasonable arguments that might even make some sense from a worldly perspective but are directly opposed to God’s Holy Word! Men, we do not sit as the final arbiter or ultimate authority in a matter. Our mantra must be, “What does God and His word have to say about this?”
The church in Corinth was in a cosmopolitan city with all kinds of progressive ideas that were in fact deadly heresies. The men of that day needed to weed through these ideologies and guard their church and family against destructive and spiritually deadly herisies that could destroy a church and rip a family apart. Remember, ideas have consequences. What ideas are you allowing to slip by your guard post? Don’t do it, “Be on Guard!”
Application - Too many of us men are asleep at the post. We are passively letting things past us to the detriment of our families...
Two things you can do to help alleviate this...
First, cultivate your own spiritual awareness...
Second, talk, talk, talk and talk some more! Notice I didn’t say yell or pontificate, I said talk. Talking is a two way street that requires listening. This is something we tend not to be great at. Well, BE GREAT AT IT!
Review - Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like a watchful man
2. Act Like a Faithful Man
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.
1 Cor 1
Explanation - The next challenge in this verse is for the Corinthian men to “Stand firm in the faith...”
Now there is a very important distinction that I don’t want you to miss. Paul is careful not to say, “stand firm in YOUR faith”, rather he says “stand firm in THE faith”.
Why is this one word so important? Because “My” faith can be subjective and rooted to my experiences. And while my experiences are valid and important, they do not carry the weight and supreme importance of THE FAITH that has been handed down throughout the centuries.
“Stand fast in the faith” - refers to the traditions that are the foundation of the community and that Paul passed on to them… “We stand in the proclaimed word, not in our own subjectivity.”
Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament: 1 Corinthians Exegesis and Exposition
We stand in the proclaimed word, not in our own subjectivity.
“Stand fast in the faith” (στήκετε ἐν τῇ πίστει, stēkete en tē pistei) refers to the traditions that are the foundation of the community and that Paul passed on to them.
Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament: 1 Corinthians Exegesis and Exposition
“We stand in the proclaimed word, not in our own subjectivity.”
David E. Garland, 1 Corinthians, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2003), 766.
This is what Jude, the brother of Jesus is referring to when he says...
1 Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James, To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: 2 May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. 3 Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. 4 For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. 5 Now I want to remind you, although you once fully knew it, that Jesus, who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe.
1 Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James, To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ: 2 May mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. 3 Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.
Jude's appeal to fight or contend for THE faith that was once for all delivered for all the saints was an appeal for THE FAITH. THE FAITH is the formal recognition of the fundamental truths regarding God and His promises as revealed in the Holy Scriptures.
In order for THE FAITH to be OUR FAITH we must agree with the tenants of it.
In other words, we as individuals have faith in THE FAITH. Jude warns that his readers should contend or fight for the faith. Why?
4 For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. 5 Now I want to remind you, although you once fully knew it, that Jesus, who saved a people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe.
4 For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.
Jud
Not only does Paul challenge the men at Corinth to be on guard - to be watchful, but to also stand in the way of heresies that so easily creep into the body of Christ. The men of Corinth needed to stand firm in THE FAITH.
15 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter.
But there is a caveat to Paul’s challenge. Someone who stands firm in the faith must have a comprehensive understanding of THE FAITH. The only way you will stand firm for something is if you have an understanding of that something.
Illustration - Preaching Mormonism to the Youth Group when I was a Youth Pastor...
Argumentation - The kids agreed with my heretical presentation because they didn’t know the true gospel well enough.
I can understand why those young in the faith might slip up in their comprehension of the Faith. Hopefully that exercise motivated them to know and understand the Faith they professed.
But Christian men, believing dads, we cannot not understand. We must know what we believe so we can stand for it! And I would submit to you this morning that if you are laissez-faire about Christianity, if you are apathetic about THE FAITH, you will not stand firm for it.
Men, Dad’s if there is one thing to be expert in, if there is one thing to sink your energies into that will pay eternal dividends, it’s THE HISTORICAL, ORTHODOX CHRISTIAN FAITH! It is this faith that leads to Godliness. Pursue it! This is what Paul admonishes Timothy to do with His time!
8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
9 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance.
10 For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.
11 Command and teach these things.
6 If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed.
5 for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.
6 If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. 7 Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; 8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 9 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. 10 For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. 11 Command and teach these things.
Dad’s in order for you to command and teach these things, you must know these things. Do you?
I’m afraid the Man Cave has replaced the Study. Now study is relegated to the nerds and is no longer the gentleman’s hobby. (Impressed with my father-in-law…)
“Give yourself unto reading. The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains, proves that he has no brains of his own. You need to read. - Spurgeon
But he also has something to say about our time in the Word...
“...the number of persons who read the Bible, I believe, is becoming smaller every day. … the Book, the good old Book, the Divine Fountainhead from which all Revelation wells up—this is too often left! You may go to human puddles until you forsake the clear crystal stream which flows from the Throne of God. Read the books, by all means, but especially the parchments! Search human literature, if you will, but especially stand fast by that Book which is Infallible, the Revelation of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!”
Application - The Bible is a big book, but it teaches us THE FAITH. The best way for you to get to know the faith is to study the bible. Not just read it, but study it.
Pick a book of the Bible (Start with a NT Letter like Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians or Galatians)
Get the necessary tools - Bibles, Concordances, Dictionaries and Encyclopedias, Geographical and Cultural Helps, Bible Doctrine Books, Commentaries
Bible Doctrine Books
Bible Doctrine Books
Commentaries
Commentaries
Read the book ten times
Read the book ten times
Read the book ten times
Learn everything you can about the the book you are studying by asking and answering the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How questions.
Go back to the begining and start working though each verse. Define all the words you do not understand.
Determine what the author is saying/what the text means
Bridge the Gap -
How does this apply today?
Listen, if you want to act like a faithful man, you’ve got to know the FAITH. You’ve got to know what you are standing for and the best way for you to do this is through opening and learning the love letter that God wrote for us!
We find time for things that are important to us. Is this important to you?
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." Reader's Digest, April 2015, p.152
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." Reader's Digest, April 2015, p.152
Review - Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like a watchful man
Act like a faithful man
3. Act like a Strong Man
14
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.
Explanation - There are two phrases here that are closely related…act like men and be strong.
Paul is calling on the corinthian men in particular to be mature and courageous.
As you read through the letter of 1 Corinthians you soon begin to realize that the the church at Corinth was a complete mess. They were doing things they were not supposed to be doing and the were not doing things they were supposed to be doing. We simply do not have time to examine all those activities. However we do need to see how Paul throughout this letter challenges them to grow up!
1 But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
Hint, hint!
20 Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.
Don’t be children! Grow up!
Don’t be feminie
The famed and aging rock star Ozzy Osbourne quipped, "I wasn't so much of a dad as I was an extra delinquent child for my wife." His comment may conjure a smile but it's a sad truth for too many households.
Paul’s challenge for the Corinthian men? They were to stop acting like immature children and grow up in the faith.
How does a child act? According to Susan Heitler Ph.D., in her article, “Can You Spot 10 Signs of a Childish Adult?”
1. Emotional escalations - Young children often cry, get mad, or look petulant and pouting. Grownups seldom do.
Young children often cry, get mad, or look petulant and pouting. Grownups seldom do.
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2. Blaming - When things go wrong, young children look to blame someone. Grownups look to fix the problem.
When things go wrong, young children look to blame someone. Grownups look to fix the problem.
3. Lies - When there's a situation that's uncomfortable, young children might lie to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the truth.
When there's a situation that's uncomfortable, young children might lie to stay out of trouble. Grownups deal with reality, reliably speaking the truth.
4. Name-calling - Children call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. Adults do not make ad hominen attacks, that is, attacks on people's personal traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with mean labels.
Children call each other names. Adults seek to understand issues. Adults do not make ad hominen attacks, that is, attacks on people's personal traits. Instead, they attack the problem. They do not disrespect others with mean labels.
There is one exception. Sometimes adults, like firefighters who battle forest fires, have to fight fire with fire. They may need in some way to power over an angry child, or an out-of-bounds adult, in order to get them to cease their bad behavior. "Stop it!"
5. Impulsivity ("poor impulse control") - Children strike out impulsively when they feel hurt or mad. They speak recklessly or take impulsive action without pausing to think about the potential consequences.
Children strike out impulsively when they feel hurt or mad. They speak recklessly or take impulsive action without pausing to think about the potential consequences.
Adults pause, resisting the impulse to shoot out hurtful words or actions. They calm themselves. They then think through the problem, seeking more information and analyzing options . Similarly, instead of listening to others' viewpoints, they impulsively interrupt them.
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Again, acting on impulse occasionally is a hallmark of mature behavior. Soldiers and police are trained to discriminate rapidly between harmless and dangerous situations so that they can respond quickly enough to protect potential victims of criminal actions.
6. Need to be the center of attention - Ever tried to have adult dinner conversations with a two-year-old at the table? Did attempts to launch a discussion with others at the table result in the child getting fussy?
Ever tried to have adult dinner conversations with a two-year-old at the table? Did attempts to launch a discussion with others at the table result in the child getting fussy?
7. Bullying - A child who is physically larger than the other children his age can walk up to another boy who is playing with a toy he would like and simply take it. The other child may say nothing lest the bully turn on them with hostility. Safer just to let a bully have what he wants.
A child who is physically larger than the other children his age can walk up to another boy who is playing with a toy he would like and simply take it. The other child may say nothing lest the bully turn on them with hostility. Safer just to let a bully have what he wants.
Adults respect boundaries. Yours is yours and mine is mine.
8. Budding narcissism - "It's all about me."
In an earlier post I coined the term tall man syndrome for one way that narcissism can develop. If children—or adults— can get whatever they want because they are bigger, stronger, richer etc, they become at risk for learning that the rules don't apply to them. Whatever they want, they take. "It's all about me."
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This narcissistic belief may look initially like strength. In fact, it reflects a serious weakness in being unable to see beyond the self.
Psychologically strong people listen to others, listening to understand others' feelings, concerns and preferences. Narcissists who hear only themselves are emotionally brittle. It's my way or the highway. They operate like children who want to stay out and play even though dinner is on the table and pitch a fit rather than heed their parent's explanation that the family is eating now. "It's all about me; no one else counts; and if I don't get my way I'll bully you with anger or feel overwhelmed and pout."
9. Immature defenses - Children tend to regard the best defense as a strong offense. While that defensive strategy may work in football, attacking anyone who expresses a viewpoint different from what they want is, in life, a primitive defense mechanism. Another primitive defense is denial: "I didn't say that!" "I never did that!" when in fact they did say and do that. Sound child-like to you?
Freud coined the term defense mechanisms for ways in which individuals protect themselves and/or get what they want. Adults use defense mechanisms like listening to others' concerns as well as to their own. They then engage in collaborative problem-solving. These responses to difficulties signal psychological maturity.
Children tend to regard the best defense as a strong offense. While that defensive strategy may work in football, attacking anyone who expresses a viewpoint different from what they want is, in life, a primitive defense mechanism.
Another primitive defense is denial: "I didn't say that!" "I never did that!" when in fact they did say and do that. Sound child-like to you?
10. No ability to acknowledge, and learn from their mistakes. - When emotionally mature adults 'lose their cool' and express anger inappropriately, they soon after, with their "observing ego," realize that their outburst was inappropriate. That is, they can see with hindsight that their behavior was out of line with their value system. They can see if their outburst has been, as therapists say, ego dystonic (against their value system).
When emotionally mature adults 'lose their cool' and express anger inappropriately, they soon after, with their "observing ego," realize that their outburst was inappropriate. That is, they can see with hindsight that their behavior was out of line with their value system. They can see if their outburst has been, as therapists say, ego dystonic (against their value system).
No more childish behavior!
Paul’s challenge for the Corinthian men? They were to be courageous Christian men! They were to stand strong in a culture that was decidedly pagan
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
Not only were they to put off childish ways...
They were to be courageous Christian men! They were to stand strong in a culture that was decidedly pagan
Be mature followers of Jesus! Don’t cower in fear!
This is the same kind of language we see when God himself encourages Joshua as He is about to take over for the now deceased Moses...
1 After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, 2 “Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them, to the people of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses. 4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun shall be your territory. 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I can’t begin to imagine how intimidated poor Joshua was feeling! He had taken over for Moses, of all people! God knew this and personally spoke to Him to bolster his confidence and give him the assurance that he could be courageous and confident because God was with him at all times!
“The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Guys, being strong and courageous isn’t about your physical prowess - you don’t need to have big muscles. However it is about having the fortitude to stand against the tide of public opinion for the sake of the truth of the word of God.
Illustration -
It is being willing to say no when everyone else is saying yes and it is about being willing to yes when everyone else is saying no.
It is about being so confident in God and His truth and promises that you may appear crazy to those around you.
Illustration -
God told Noah to build a boat when it hadn’t rained - Was he crazy or courageous?
God told Abram to pack up his home and leave with his family to go to another land. However God didn’t tell him where they would land - What he crazy or courageous?
God told Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to not bow to the golden image of Nebuchadrezzar (got them tossed in a furnace) - Were they crazy or courageous?
God told Daniel to unashamedly pray three times a day - Was he crazy or courageous?
God told Jesus to go to the cross to die for the sins of the world - Was he crazy or courageous?
Argumentation - What Has God, in His word told you to do? Is it crazy or courageous? God will ask you to do seemingly crazy things over the course of you Christian life. But they will be the best, most soul stretching activities that will grow your faith exponentially! He doesn’t want you to act like a child. He has commanded Christian men instead to be strong and courageous.
Application - There is one, sure fire way you can make this happen in your life. Repent! Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and in due time He will exault you because WHEN YOU ARE WEAK, THEN AND ONLY THEN CAN YOU BE STRONG.
The godly submission of a faithful wife to her head—her husband—does not diminish the power and strength that God has given to women but instead channels it to serve the most important people first. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I have come to learn that godly patriarchy is not my enemy—or the enemy of any woman. Godly patriarchy means rule by the godly fathers, the good men who sacrifice their lives for the protection of their family. In God’s hands, when the good fathers lead, the roaming gangs of violent men are kept in check and away. We need godly patriarchs because sin is real, and the droving gangs of male violence are real too. If men aren’t trained to lead by God’s design, they often destroy by Satan’s command.
Butterfield, Rosaria. The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World (Kindle Locations 1564-1569). Crossway. Kindle Edition.
Application -
(Women, give your husband the gift of respect)
Review - Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like a watchful man
Act like a faithful man
Act like a faithful man
Act like a strong man
4. Act Like a Loving Man
13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.
Explanation - Paul, lists these characteristics out for us. But the last is love. Everything that is done needs to be done in love.
Of course we are just three chapters away from the great love chapter. This chapter is used at many, many weddings. And it is a good passage for the wedding celeration. However, has nothing to do with a love between a husband and a wife. No, is given by Paul to help a fractured, divided and sinful church heal and be what God desires her to be. As I said before, this church has many things that are wrong with her. In chapters 12-14, Paul is trying to get them to have love be their overarching concern not who has what spiritual gift.
Many in the church were desiring the spectacular spiritual gifts (healing, miracles, tongues, etc.). Why did they want those gifts? For their own edification. They wanted everyone to be amazed by them! They wanted everyone to think of them as super spiritual. They failed!
Love never puts itself first or exalts itself. In fact, take a look at the love passage for a minute...
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Hey, Corinthians, get your perspective and motive right! The GREATEST OF ALL THESE THINGS IS LOVE - Love is forever!
So it is interesting to me that in verses 13-14 of chapter 16 the Apostle admonished the men in particular to be men who love, not themselves and much as others. This, after all is the second greatest commandment.
14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Men, who is your neighbor? Well, your closest neighbor are those who live under your roof. It is your wife and your children. Do they see you loving them? Do they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love them with a Christlike love?
Illustration -
Ruth "Bunny" Graham is the third daughter of Billy & Ruth Graham. At her father's funeral she alluded to personal struggles and recounted the story of how she resisted her parents' counsel against a marriage that led to her second divorce. Fearing for her safety, she realized she had to leave the abusive man she'd married after knowing him a scant six months. The only viable option was her parents' home so she loaded a few things and made the long two-day drive. Each mile brought more fears about the future, and what her parents might say. As she rounded the last curve in the driveway leading to their home in Montreat, North Carolina, she prepared for the awkward reception. But rather than hearing words of condemnation, the first thing her father said was, "Welcome home" as he wrapped his arms around her. He never said, "I told you so," he just embraced her like the father Jesus spoke of in his parable about a prodigal son. Children will always give their fathers plenty of reasons to voice disapproval, but unconditional love carries much greater influence in the long run. And that's probably what they'll remember most at your funeral. Family.org, May 2007, p.21
Argumentation - Did you hear that phrase, “Children will always give their fathers plenty of reasons to voice disapproval, but unconditional love carries much greater influence in the long run.”
Dad’s love your kids for who they are. Of course they don’t always make wise decisions. As if you did when you were their age. Of course you want the best for them, but by nagging, dripping, preaching, cajoling and the like will only drive them away!
Yes, of course you are to speak the truth, but you are to do so in LOVE!
Application - Make it a daily goal to tell and show your family that you love them in tangible ways...
Transition (Div. 5 to Div. 6)
Division 5 Statement: Act Like a Loving Man
Explanation -
Illustration -
Argumentation -
Application -
Review - Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like Men - God’s Way
Act like a watchful man
Act like a faithful man
Act like a faithful man
Act like a strong man
Act like a strong man
Act like a loving man
Conclusion (Visualization)
Do you want to see what this man looks like in the flesh? This watchful, faithful, strong, and loving man is Jesus! And you, dads, granddads and, all the men of ABC are to follow Him. You and I are to pursue Christlikeness. These are not His only Characteristics, but it is interesting to me that the Apostle Paul commands the men at Corinth to ACT LIKE MEN - and this is what, from his perspective, a godly, Christlike man looks like.
So, gentlemen, on this day when we celebrate fathers, would your family be able to hand you a Father’s Day card that reads, “Dear Dad, I thank God that He has given us a father that is a GODLY Man who is watchful, faithful, strong and loving.”
I hope so!
Reiteration
Action
The fathers of the church are men of heart who naturally care for the souls of others. It is upon the father that the weight of the household falls, he goes forth in the morning to his daily labor, and he returns at night with the fruit of his toil for the support of the household. It is not for himself that he lives, but for that dear family which is gathered about him.
He is not wholly comprised within his own personal self, for he lives in the entire house; he lives especially in his children. Their suffering or their need would be his suffering and his need. His heart has grown larger than when he was a child or a young man, for now his heart beats in that entire household, of which he is the life. It is a grand thing when Christian men and Christian women come to this, that they are not perpetually thinking of their own salvation, and of their own souls being fed under the ministry, but they care most of all for those who are weak and feeble in the church.
During a service their thoughts go out for those assembled. They are anxious as to how that stranger may be impressed by the sermon, how yonder anxious spirit may be comforted, how a backsliding brother may be restored, how one who is growing somewhat cold may be revived. This paternal care betokens a true father in the church. May the Lord multiply among us those who feel it to be their lifework to feed the flock of Christ.
“A true father has a tender love for all the little ones.”
“A true father has a tender love for all the little ones.”
“Let us put up with a thousand trying things
from our Master’s children whom He has committed to our care.”
“Let us put up with a thousand trying things
from our Master’s children whom He has committed to our care.”
It is a great blessing to the church when the leading spirits are loving, not rough and uncouth, domineering or hectoring, but gentle and Christ-like. Oh, my brothers, who take the lead, let us bear and forbear, and put up with a thousand trying things from our Master’s children whom He has committed to our care. Let us make ourselves the servants of all - Spurgeon
This is how Christians grow great, by making themselves greatly useful to others. If you are the slave of all, willing to do anything so that you can but help them, and make them happy and holy, this is to be a father in the church of God. Sympathetic care and hearty tenderness are gifts of the Holy Spirit, and will bring you a happiness which will richly compensate you for your pains.
Invitation
Connection Group Questions / Reflection Questions
Why is it so important for us (Men in particular) to be godly?
What are we to watch out for? Are we just being paranoid?
Why is it important for the men in a family and in a church to take the spiritual lead? Why is this becoming more and more challenging? What can we do about it?
Define “Feckless”. Why is it easier to act in a feckless manner as apposed to growing in the Strength of the Lord? Discuss ways one can and should grow in spiritual strength.
Love is the greatest of all attributes. According to Paul, all that we do should be done in love. What can you do to ensure all that you do is out of the motivation of love?