Honour Your Father and Your Mother
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Canada and many other countries set aside 1 day in 365 to honour mothers and another for fathers
while most Christians observe these days we don’t do so because because the world knows something we don’t
long before there was Mother’s Day and Father’s Day God gave the 5th commandment in which he commands all people, everywhere to honour their parents not just one day a year but every day, all day
this honouring is not only to be external but more importantly internal
giving flowers, going out to eat, and gifts are all nice ways to honour your parents
but what is most important in the eyes of God is the kind of honour that flows out of a heart that fears him and wants to glorify him
it’s very easy to say or do something occasionally but quite another to cultivate and possess the kind of submissive attitude that is pleasing to the Lord
man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart (1 Sam 16:7)
the Christian life is about submission
Christ modelled this for us in his submission to the will of God in surrendering his glory, becoming man , taking the form of servant, becoming obedient to death, even the death of the cross (Php 2)
when we consider God’s requirement for honouring our parents we will discover that the world does not even come close to God’s expectation and demands!
this morning we are going to consider the 5th commandment in Exodus 20:12 and other passages in the bible where it is quoted so that we can learn what God requires of us in the matter of honouring our parents
the 5th commandment
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
in this commandment God requires the honouring of both father and mother (Ex 20:12 and quoted in Lev 19:3, Mt 15:4, 19:19; Mark 7:10; 10:19; Lk 18:20; Eph 6:1-3; Col 3:20)
for the OT Israelite living a long time in the land meant many years of enjoying God’s protection and blessing
a general biblical principle: if you want to enjoy God’s favour on your life, honour your parents and all those who have authority over you
if you want to enjoy God’s favour for eternity, submit to him by repenting of your sins and believing on his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ
how serious is keeping this command?
we might be tempted to say that of all the 10 commandments murder is the most evil of all the sins that are covered
and in fact it is a very wicked sin because God made us in His own image
murder then is ultimately an attack on God himself
this is one of the reasons why abortion is such a wicked thing in the eyes of God
we might also be tempted to think that not honouring our parents is really not that big a deal
however if we base the seriousness of the crime on the punishment God says it deserves we discover that many of the commands carry the death penalty
judging the commands to honour parents and not to commit murder by their penalties we find that in the eyes of God they are both very serious crimes
God commanded that children who dishonour, revile, curse or slander their parents be put to death!
seems like God went overboard until we consider the consequences
parents were God’s ordained means of passing from one generation to the next the knowledge of God, his marvellous works and the requirements of the covenant
permitting children to dishonour and revile parents cuts a child off from this essential knowledge leading to a generation that did not know God
this led to outright rebellion against God and brought his terrible curses down upon his people
remember what happened to the generation which followed those who entered the Promised Land
10 And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel.
11 And the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals.
12 And they abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the Lord to anger.
13 They abandoned the Lord and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth.
14 So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he gave them over to plunderers, who plundered them. And he sold them into the hand of their surrounding enemies, so that they could no longer withstand their enemies.
15 Whenever they marched out, the hand of the Lord was against them for harm, as the Lord had warned, and as the Lord had sworn to them. And they were in terrible distress.
highlights the importance of parents teaching their children to love and obey them so that their days in the land might be long (Dt 6:2, 4-9)
if you want your children to be blessed teach them to honour you, don’t let them dishonour you
Israel failed to do this and brought upon their descendants great evil and distress and eventually destruction
fast forward 3500 years to our present day and we find the same problem
our culture has, for the most part, lost the biblical understanding of honour
in our culture we honour ourselves, we are the centre of our universe
the unwritten attitude of most people: “after me you come first”
we don’t honour the police unless we are getting a ticket but then we do so for our own advantage: that we might escape having to pay the fine
bosses are honoured for the same selfish reason police officers are: self interest
if FB is any indicator we certainly don’t honour our political leaders
teachers for the most part are not honoured by their students and often their parents are to blame for this
the closest we come to honour is when someone in our military loses their life in the line of their duty
Highway of Heroes to honour those killed in military action
Paul’s warning to Timothy about the attitudes of those living in the last days
1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,
4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,
4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.
the days we are living in mirror what Paul predicted
the question for us as believers is, are we going to honour God by honouring our parents as he commands and instructs or are we going to let the world dictate our attitude and behaviour?
will we be faithful to teach our children to honour us or will we leave them to be instructed by the world?
what we decide will determine whether we experience God’s favour and blessing or his wrath and displeasure
What Does Honour Mean?
What Does Honour Mean?
honour in Ex 20:12
depending on context:
heavy or weighty - something of high value
to be in a situation of increasing prosperity and thus have high status; to be glorified
to be in a state of being great and wonderful
honour then means to recognize in your parents something of high value, people to be honoured as great and wonderful
doesn’t mean they always deserve it!
must separate actions and attitudes of parents from their God ordained position
to flesh out what honour means let’s look at other passages in the bible where this command is quoted
Honouring vs. Reviling
Honouring vs. Reviling
in Mt 15:4 honouring is contrasted with reviling
For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’
honour: to show esteem or respect
the worth one ascribes to a person
revile: to use foul or abusive language, speak evil of, curse, make false or defamatory statements
how serious is this in God’s eyes? it carries the death penalty
God does not change
even though the death penalty is no longer enforced does not mean that God looks on the violation of the 5th commandment any less seriously!
how serious is honouring your father and mother in your eyes?
we ignore this command to our own shame and hurt and that of our children and ultimately our culture!
17 “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
curse: to invoke harm
examples:
“I wish you never existed, go to hell, damn you …”
11 There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers.
bless: speak words invoking divine favour, with the intent that the object have favourable circumstances at a future time
to wish good on another
always speaking well and wishing the best for her
cursing is to wish evil on them
God requires all children, regardless of age, to positively acknowledge father and mother, to speak well of them, to honour them, to desire the best for them
anything less than this is a violation of God’s will
for those who have had abusive parents this will be extremely difficult, but it is not impossible!
since God has called you to this noble task he will give you the grace to do it with a right heart!
you do this not primarily for your parents because they deserve it but you do it for the glory of God who will reward you for honouring him
you do not do this because what they did was not wrong
you do this first because God requires it but second because it is for your own good
an unforgiving spirit puts your soul in danger
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
example of Christ before his accusers and torturers
Ruth’s positive example:
her mother-in-law had lost her husband and her sons and as such was without protection, subject to be oppressed, easily impoverished
Naomi certainly saw herself as under the curse of God (Ruth 1:16)
Ruth was willing to abandon her family, her people, her nation and her gods in order to stay with Naomi
required her to do menial labour when Naomi returned home
this involved risk to her person
Ruth honoured Naomi and she was rewarded with a godly husband, a long life and a place in the lineage of the Messiah
Honouring and Revering
Honouring and Revering
3 Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.
revere: acknowledge the high status of the one in authority and give them appropriate honour even bordering on fear
the reason for their high status: God has given parents the responsibility of raising godly offspring for him
Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
God hates divorce because it destroys one of his primary purposes of marriage: raising godly offspring for him
parents have a high responsibility and thus a high honour regardless of how they struggle to fulfill it
secondly, note that honouring mother and father and keeping Sabbaths are somehow connected
honouring mother and father is the outflow of honouring God by keeping his Sabbaths
Sabbaths were commanded to help God’s people remember him, serve him, love him and obey him as their Creator
“remember his sabbaths” - 1 rest day in 7 set aside from work in order to remember God as creator, and submit to him as Lord and king
on the 7th day he rested from his work of creating and thus his people are to set aside 1 day in 7
refocuses the mind and heart upon the Lord
likewise our parents gave us life and we ought to honour them for this
God concludes the 1st table with a positive command and starts the 2nd table the same way
the first table teaches how we are to love, obey and honour God
no other gods, no graven images, no taking his name in vain, keep 1 day holy
the 2nd table teaches how we are to love, obey and honour one another
honour parents as the first authority we experience in life, representative of God’s authority
if we don’t learn to honour our parents we won’t learn to honour God
6th: preserve life being God’s image bearers (vs. abortion)
7th: preserve marriage by being sexually pure
8th: preserve personal property rights by not stealing
9th: preserve truth by being honest in all your dealings
10th: preserve contentment by submitting to divine providence
at the very heart of the 10 commandments (#s 4&5) is honouring God and honouring parents
we are to honour God and the first institution he has ordained for the good of countries is the family
father and mother are God’s ordained authority from which all other authority and all other relationships spring
if a child is taught to live rightly under parental authority they will find it much easier to submit to God’s authority
parents, you have a high responsibility to teach your children this love and respect
God has placed you over them
by honouring our parents we preserve God’s favour and blessing
Lev 19:3 concludes with, “I am the Lord your God”
honour your mother and your father because you are in covenant relationship with God and as such he is the one who makes the rules
those who would experience his covenant blessings and avoid his covenant curses will obey
besides this, his people love to honour and glorify him
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Honouring and Loving
Honouring and Loving
honouring vs reviling: showing esteem & respect vs speaking evil, cursing, defaming, abusing
honouring & revering: acknowledge high status, giving appropriate honour bordering on fear
19 Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
parallel passages: Mk 10:17, Lk 18:18-30in this passage Jesus was answering the Rich Young Man’s question, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus recounted the 2nd Table of the Law because that’s how Jews expected to enter heaven, by obeying the Law
what is conspicuously absent: the 1st table of the law and the 10th commandment
the man was in violation of the 1st and 10th commandments
the most obvious lesson: when you honour your parents you are loving your neighbour as yourself
in other words, when you honour your parents you are in fact blessing yourself
you are calling down God’s blessings and favour when you love your parents as you love yourself
this is true of all of the commandments in the 2nd Table of the Law
when we do not honour our parents not only are we being disobedient to God but we display a lack of healthy, biblical self love!
we are calling down God’s wrath and displeasure upon ourselves
why does honouring father and mother have to be commanded?
why doesn’t it come naturally?
why do children regularly challenge parental authority?
why do many teens struggle to honour their parents?
sin makes all of us arrogant and self-centered, parents and children!
sin causes us to love what is evil and hate what is good
sin makes us hypocrites
hypocrisy exemplified in the Pharisees
9 And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition!
10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’
11 But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban” ’ (that is, given to God)—
12 then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother,
13 thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”
Pharisees and scribes set aside the 5th commandment in favour of one of their traditions which said that if they gave to God what they would have given to support their parents they did not have to do anything for them
in so doing they were actually pitting honouring God against honouring parents
by not providing for their parents they were dishonouring God
remember Jesus’ summary of the 10 commandments:
37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Christian love for one another is the overflow of being loved by God (see Lev 19:3 above)
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
true love for God is is demonstrated in love others with the same love one has for self
God’s love for us raised us up and exalted us far above what we deserved
those who have experienced that love do the same for one another
the Pharisee’s refusal to meet the needs of their parents demonstrated that they had not experienced the saving love of God
although the professed to know God their actions demonstrated the opposite
the Pharisees and scribes showed their ignorance of the very God and law they loved by setting aside the practical duties required in the 5th commandment
Honour and Obedience
Honour and Obedience
honouring vs reviling: showing esteem & respect vs speaking evil, cursing, defaming, abusing
honouring & revering: acknowledge high status, giving appropriate honour bordering on fear
Honouring & loving: raising another up to place of honour they do not deserve
“obey” (Eph 6:1-4; Col 3:20-21)
in these portions of scripture, obedience applies to children, slaves, wives and husbands
they all stand in a divinely willed relationship of subordination
context:
Eph 1-3 - God has sovereignly saved us
our position in Christ leads to our responsibilities in Christ
Eph 4:1-16 - believers should live in a way that is worthy of their astonishing calling: with humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, unity
Eph 4:17-32 - put away your old way of life; do not live the same way as the unsaved
selfish, self-centered, self gratification
Eph 5:1-21 - what it looks like to be imitators of God: walk in love as Christ did:
sexual purity and holiness in all dealings with each other, do not be partners with unbelievers, be filled with the Spirit
Eph 5:22-33 - what this looks like in a marriage
wives submitting to their husbands as to the Lord
husbands loving their wives as Christ: he loved the church and gave himself up for her
Eph 6:1-4 - what this looks like between children and parents
children honour parents
parents raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
fathers not exasperating their children
example of Amram & Jochebed, Moses’ parents - Ex 1-2
bravery & love: ignored Pharaoh’s wicked command
when she was forced to abandon Moses she did so in a way to give him a chance to live
she used the short time she had to teach him
once he went to live with Pharaoh’s daughter her teaching days were over
35 years later Moses had not forgotten who he was!
Eph 6:5-9 - what this looks like between masters and slaves
Eph 6:10-20 - what we need to live like this:
put on the full armour of God, i.e. be filled with the Spirit and the Word
can’t obey God without his enabling