Sermon Tone Analysis

It’s great to be a guy!

10.

Your underwear is 8 bucks for a 3-pack.

9 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

8 If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.

7 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

6 If another guy shows up at the same party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

5 One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

4 There is always a game on somewhere.

3 Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So…notice anything different?”

2 If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

1 You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

There are some obvious advantages to being a man, aren’t there?

The National Center for Fathering has recently declared, “a fatherhood awakening,” citing evidence that men are rediscovering what it means to be a father.

Here are 2 rather surprising facts:

1.

In the past 25 years, the number of dads present at their children’s births has risen from 27% to more than 90 percent today.

2.

More than 75% of men say they would trade rapid career advancement for more time with their families.

And yet, even with this good news, Time magazine, at the beginning of this new century/millennia, in an issue called, “The Hottest Jobs of the Future,” lists fatherhood as one of the occupations that will disappear in the next century.

· This is what the article says: “Between in-vitro fertilization and cloning, dads could become dinosaurs.”

(5/22/00)

Some have called dads The New Endangered Species.”

· One article said, “... guys really want to be good dads more than ever, but they aren’t changing much.

· When the good news is combined with the bad, it seems that fatherhood in the United States is poised for either a great awakening or a gory collapse.”

It may be that we’re either headed toward a spiritual stirring or we’re looking at becoming an endangered species.

· While most Americans have not bought into the ‘daddies are dinosaurs’ rhetoric, I think there is a growing ambivalence about the importance of fathers in our culture.

God very clearly says that dads are to be difference-makers by leading and loving their wives and kids.

Cultural Context

In the first century, when this passage was written, families were presided over by fathers who could do whatever they pleased in their homes.

· Rome had a law called patria potestas, which meant “the father’s power.”

· Men who were Roman citizens were given absolute property rights over their families.

· By law, the children and the wife were regarded as the patriarch’s personal chattel, and he could do with them what he wished.

· A displeased father could disown his children, sell them into slavery, or even kill them if he wished.

When a child was born, the baby was placed between the father’s feet.

· If the father picked up the baby, the child stayed in the home.

· If he turned and walked away, the child was either left to die or sold at auction.

· Seneca, a contemporary of the apostle Paul, described Roman policy with regard to unwanted animals: “We slaughter a fierce ox; we strangle a mad dog; we plunge a knife into a sick cow.

Children born weak or deformed we drown.”

Things are not much better today, are they?

· We ignore our children.

· Millions of unwanted babies are aborted each year.

· Children have become a disposable commodity in our society, just as they were in ancient Rome.

The Bible calls Christian fathers to a different standard.

· Just as it was revolutionary for dads to lovingly lead their kids in the first century, faithful fathers today who do not exasperate their kids are counter-cultural.

· Our kids are not property to own but image bearers of God who need to be managed and trained.

· Dads, we are called to provide a proper nurturing environment where our kids can grow up to love and serve Christ.

· Our primary responsibilities by which our fathering will be judged are set forth in...

The very first word of this verse: “Fathers.”

· Paul addresses just dads here because he knows that we especially need to hear this.

· He doesn’t say “parents” or “moms and dads.”

· He uses the word, “Fathers.”

· Most of us dads are sloppy in our fathering, not giving much thought to what we’re called to do.

· This verse brings it home clearly to us.

Paul is challenging us to see the word “fathers” as a verb not just a noun.

· It’s biologically easy to become a father, but biblically challenging to actually “father” our children.

· The Bible very clearly challenges dads to become the point men in their homes because the ultimate responsibility for what a family becomes is the father’s.

· In this passage, we’re given 4 “Dad Duties.”

· One duty is something we should not do; the other three are what we are to do.

1 ­ Avoid Exasperation

The first duty is negative ­ we are told to “not exasperate our children.”

· This is a caution or warning designed to put us on guard against stirring up anger in our kids either deliberately or through careless provocations.

· I think Paul started with a negative command because he knows that fathers, who are fallen creatures, are prone to abuse their authority in the home.

· The Greek word translated “exasperate” means “to rouse to anger” or “to enrage.”

· The present tense of the verb indicates that we are to stop doing something that is common and continuous.

· This warning is calling us dads to avoid anything that will eventually break the spirit of our children.

· Paul puts it this way in Colossians3:21: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

· When we exasperate our kids, they can become bitter and bummed out.

While there are times when kids become sinfully angry due to their own selfishness or immaturity, there are other times when dads are guilty of aggravating their kids.

· We can do that by deliberately goading them, by callously neglecting them or by any number of other intentional or careless means that exasperate them.

· When that happens, it is we dads who are sinning ­ and provoking our children to sin as well.

Remember that our children are commanded by God to honor us.

· When we provoke them to wrath, we are causing them to sin against the Fifth Commandment.

· In such cases we are guilty before God for disobeying Ephesians 6:4 and also doubly guilty for causing our children to stumble.

2 ­ Provide Nurture

The word “instead” shows a contrast between what we should not do and what we are to do.

· Here’s the first thing we are called to do: provide nurture.

· The NIV translates this verb as “bring them up.”

· This is the same phrase that is used in 5:29 referring to the husband’s role of “feeding and caring” for his wife.

· Men, we are called to nourish our wife and children by sharing love and encouragement in the Lord.

Notice also that we are to “bring them up.”

· We are to bring our children up because they will not get there by themselves.

· Dads, we are to take an active role in shaping the character of our children.

· Proverbs 29:15 says, “A child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

· John MacArthur puts it this way: “What ruins most children is not what their parents do to them, but what they do not do for them.”

What strikes me here is that as a dad I am called to not just raise my children; I’m called to raise them into adults.

· I’m not just a daddy of children; I’m charged with providing a nurturing environment so that they grow up to become a young man and a young woman of God.

· The phrase, “bring them up” also carries with it the idea of “tutoring” and “instructing.”

I’m a dad, but along with Beth, I’m also a tutor and teacher for my daughters.

In fact, my most important job is to disciple my kids and to leave a legacy of faithfulness for them.

Dads, how are you doing on this one?

· Are you modeling authentic faith?

· Are you providing a nurturing atmosphere in your home in which your children can grow up to love and serve Christ?

· Are you looking for ways to teach and tutor your kids or are you leaving this for mom to handle?

· As someone has said, “One way to correct your children is to correct the example you’re setting for them.”

3 ­ Provide Discipline

This word is translated “admonition” in some of your Bibles and carries with it the idea of a rebuke or a warning.

Literally, it means to “place before the mind.”

Proverbs 13:24 in the New King James Version provides a strong challenge to us dads: “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

· New Living Translation: “If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.”

· You may hesitate to discipline because you think that you’re being unkind to your kids.

· Actually, when you don’t discipline, you’re being more than unkind ­ you’re not loving them.

· Our kids not only need correction, they want it.

· If we don’t give it to them, we’re failing them and may cause them to fall away from the faith.