Encounter [Community & Church]

Afternoon

Why Encounter?

We piloted this last month, where instead of one person giving a talk, we wanted to facilitate a conversation that addresses a topic relevant to what you’re going through in the Refuge

Last month we discussed: WORK

This month we are going to discuss: COMMUNITY & CHURCH.

INTRODUCTION

Here’s the premise for today, here’s what we believe regarding the importance of this: 4We are convinced that if you don’t have healthy, lasting relationships with other committed Christians, in the context of a local church community, you will not make it.

The Refuge is NOT trying to prepare you:

to make it on your own

to fix yourself

to live a life in isolation

We are made in God’s image, as stated in Scripture, in .

Genesis 1:27 ESV

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

What do we know about God:

God has eternally, forever, existed in constant life-giving and healthy relationship as FATHER, SPIRIT, and SON.

If we’re made in God’s image, then we’re made for healthy life-giving relationships. We cannot flourish apart from healthy relationships!

So by God’s grace, we hope to better equip you (1) to be a friend and (2) to be friendly, that you might (1) develop healthy relationships and you might be able to start (2) mending broken past relationships.

TWO PATTERNS HAVE EMERGED AT THE REFUGE OVER THE YEARS

#1: Men who complete/launch out of the Refuge who remain in healthy committed relationships with other believers, in the context of a local church… they almost always do well!

#2: Men who complete/launch out of the Refuge who distance themselves or completely remove themselves from healthy, committed, and accountable relationships with other believers, in the context of a local church… they almost always fail to maintain their sobriety and, in some cases, have died fairly quickly after leaving.

Now here’s what’s real: Some of you wouldn’t know what a healthy relationship was if it slapped you in the face. It hasn’t been apart of your story… maybe you come from a background of chaos!

PANEL: What do healthy relationships look like?

John 15:12–17 ESV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

John 15:

[Mike and Austin]

assumption: Healthy relationships have boundaries

what are good boundaries?

(1) you don’t tell everybody everything, but certain people need to know what’s going on

who do we share with?

a particular group needs to know the good and the bad

We practice this in CG’s at Veritas

(2) So who then?

[ex] Paul

Apostle

Barnabas

Timothy

[personal example]

Q — what kinds of relationships do we have to do this?

PREMISE: When boundaries have been crossed with us, we struggle to cross boundaries with others.

trust can’t go any further because boundaries have been crossed in our own life

(1) Respect of boundaries, (2) Boundaries are set by God… in Scripture (3) Mutual Trust, (4) Consistency and reliability

A SIGN THAT WE’RE CHANGED, THAT WE’RE TRUE CHRISTIANS:

(1) We sacrificially love others

that’s what Jesus means when he says: “I have loved you first! If you have received my love, you will love others in the same way.”

And Jesus talks about FRIENDSHIP.

And notice how high Jesus’ bar is for friendship.

John 15:

John 15:13 ESV

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

(2) We abide in Christ

John 15:16 ESV

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

John 15:

your fruit should abide

your character should abide

your life should look like abiding…

Q — what does it mean to abide?

A — that you should remain in Christ, that you should rest in Christ!

[Definition] Abiding is a posture of humble, trust, and rest in the person and in the work of Jesus Christ!

PANEL: Why is the Church so significant in the life of the believer?

Hebrews 10:24–25 ESV

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:25 ESV

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

[Mike and Austin]

It’s what Jesus left

we live into our true nature as image bearers when we’re in these relationships

Hebrews 4:24-25

WHY SHOULD WE GATHER???

(1) Stir up one another towards good works and love!

(2) When we isolate, our tendency is towards more and more self-preoccupation, which leads to all of our problems in the first place.

PANEL: Why is Community different and why do so few people actually practice it?

[Mike and Austin]

2 Timothy 3:2 ESV

For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Romans 1:

Romans 1:24–25 ESV

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

Q&A