The lasting influence of a father

A father’s love is crucial for well-being and family stability ()

Explanation: The love of a father for his children is compared to God’s love for His children. While we as fathers come short of God’s perfect love, we are to strive to express love and compassion for our children. Our kids should not grow up in our homes wondering if their dads love them or not. They should know it, and thereby gain a sense of security.

Illustrate: Planning a youth trip on Taylor’s 4th birthday. I didn’t realize the conflict, but went on the trip anyway. The consequences included a pitiful and sad video which I was subjected to on many occasions

Argument: The presence of the father is the home is a very important factor in the success of the children. This is important for all families, not just Christian families. The family unit is primary because it is a creation ordinance. God set the father as the head of the home, and when the father is absent, the outcomes reflect that reality

Argument: The presence of the father is the home is a very important factor in the success of the children. This is important for all families, not just Christian families. The family unit is primary because it is a creation ordinance. I

Application: Determine to be present in the home for your wife and kids. Take the very concept of withdrawal off the table. Having children is a privilege and a responsibility. The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother and be there for the long haul

A Father’s instruction is important for preparing children for life (Psalm 78:2-8)

Explanation: In the economy of God, the father is given the responsibility to instruct the children in the ways of worship and of life. This is not to say the mother can’t and shouldn’t, but it is to say that the father’s are assigned the responsibility. Many fathers neglect this privileged duty and gladly hand it over to the mothers.

Illustrate: My dad teaching me how to handle guns. He had me read an article about a grandfather teaching his grandkids, had me take a hunter’s safety course (which he attended) and then went with me in the woods.

Argument: Life skills are better caught than taught. Our children learn the most by being involved in the process and through observation. WARNING: when we as fathers treat our wives with disrespect or sarcasm our kids learn that as well.

Application: Be engaged in the process of caring for your home and children. It is not just about working a job so you can give the money for family needs. It is about being involved in the life of your children and preparing them for success.

A Father’s discipline is required for well-adjusted young people (1 Sam 2:22-25)

Explanation: Eli was the priest at the house of God at Shiloh, and he served faithfully. He had two sons, however, that he let run wild and they grew up to be worthless (). The Lord placed much of the blame for this at the feet of Eli (). Eli favored the boys above honoring the Lord, and it cost him the lives of his sons.

Argument: While any individual is responsible for his or her own actions, the parents have a crucial role in the development of how the children will make decisions. God has given parents stewardship of their children for a season, and we are responsible for molding them under the authority of God. If they don’t respect parental authority, why would they respect the authority of God?

Application: Be present, and be willing to make the hard calls. Realize it is more loving to set and enforce boundaries than to live with the consequences

A father is not to express favoritism (Genesis 37:3-4)

Explanation: Jacob had 12 children, but Joseph was the first son born by his beloved wife Rachel. Jacob favored Joseph over the others and it created division and hatred. Eventually the other boys tried to kill Joseph, but while he was kept alive, they did sell him into slavery

Argument: This account of Joseph and his brothers illustrates a disturbing reality which is still present in many families. Jacob himself was a product of favoritism by his parents. His dad favored his twin brother Esau, and his mother favored him. As a result of that, the family was divided and Esau wanted to kill Jacob.

Favoritism breeds hatred and causes division. As fathers, we are to guard against this and to be objective as possible. Several times Scripture presents the phrase, “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.” (, ; ; ). God does punish the individual wrong doer for his or her own sin (cf., ) and shall not punish the son for the sin of the father. This is not a contradiction; the references to “visiting” have to do with influence. A father is a strong influence whose negative behavior will have consequences for generations.

Application: Live a surrendered life to the heavenly father, and be very much aware that your children are watching. Stay close to Jesus and keep a short sin list. Ask for forgiveness when necessary, and be committed to being fair