Sermon Tone Analysis

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Tones
Emotion
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Joy
Sadness
Language
Analytical
Confident
Tentative
Social Tendencies
Openness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Emotional Range
Anger
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Intro -
Last week we learned how to live a stress free life in a stress filled world.
One of the things that happens in our lives to cause stress is when People try to push us to live the way they think we should.
Many of us struggle with the FEAR of disapproval.
Disapproval
This fear messes up our relationships and it will make you miserable.
The fear of being rejected will cause you to act in ways that allow people to walk all over you.
It affects what you wear, how to speak, dress, etc.
It’s easy to get stuck worrying about what people think about you.
Maybe it started when you were a child when you learned what would bring you the approval of your parents and other adults.
That switched to your friends and too often we never quite grow out of the fear of being rejected, so we learn how to bring the approval of others … often at our own expense so that we will not be rejected.
You may be sitting here wondering why you are so weak?
Why you can’t seem to handle someone rejecting you or disapproving of you.
You get into a conversation, but never share your opinions because you are afraid if you do, they will reject you.
People ask you to do things that you really don’t want to do, but you say yes because you are stuck in the people pleaser trap.
You become addicted to approval and it will destroy your happiness.
If you don’t learn to deal with this issue, you will be miserable and controlled by other people.
You will end up living the life you parents wanted you to live… your kids wanted you to live… your spouse wanted you to live… your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted you to live… your boss wanted you to live...
But you don’t live the live God wanted you to live.
You miss out on the fantastic life God wanted for you because you are stuck in this fear of rejection and you try to please everyone.
This will eventually cause you to go crazy.
Look at this…
NLT says it’s a dangerous trap.
I want us to look at escaping the trap of people pleasing.
Everyone of us can break free of the people pleasing trap by understanding 5 simple truths.
Before we go further, let me say.
The desire to get approval from other people is not a bad thing.
It’s nice and even healthy to have the approval of others in your life.
You just don’t need to let it dominate your life and determine your self worth.
There is nothing wrong with having people to love you.
The Bible teaches that we don’t live for ourselves.
So if you don’t care at all about pleasing other people, you are a narcissist or a sociopath.
You are completely self centered and selfish. .
But just like all of God’s gifts, the enemy can take it and pervert it so that it is misused.
You have a need for food in your life but it can be misused if we don’t handle it under control …
Before we look at 5 truths we need to believe to break free from people pleasing, let’s look at why people pleasing is harmful.
Here are several reasons you need to deal with this.
1.
It causes me to miss God’s purpose for me.
You can’t be worried about what everyone else wants and focus on what God created you to do at the same time.
If you are trying to be who your parents wanted you to be… your spouse wanted you to be… your teacher wanted you to be… your friends wanted you to be.... what someone wanted you to be, you will miss out on what God’s purpose is for your life.
This will come out as either envy or peer pressure.
ILL - Marriott ofc. with suspenders.
When you envy someone’s life, or you are pressured by other people, you will miss out on what God wants to do in your life and through your life.
God does have a plan for your life, but so does everyone else, and if you listen to their plan, you will miss God’s plan.
If I don’t deal with this, I will miss God’s purpose for my life.
2. It keeps me from growing in my faith.
When you try to please everyone, it stunts your ability to grow in your relationship with Jesus.
ILL - when God is big in your life, other people have less power in our lives.
flip that.
When we allow people to be big, God becomes small in your life.
We give people the influence that God should have.
God and people cannot be the same size in our lives.
Who are we going to give the most influence?
Whose approval are we going to seek more?
Test - Whose opinion matters to me more?
(friends or God) Who am I going to trust more?
(Friends or God)
That’s pretty clear.
When we place the opinions and approval of others over God it hinders our faith.
It disables our ability to grow in our relationship with Jesus.
3. It will lead me to sin.
Write - giving into peer pressure.
When you try to please everyone, you will end up giving into peer pressure.
We think this is just a problem with our teenagers, but it’s a problem with everyone.
It may look different, but it’s the same struggle.
We want to please...
I don’t know about you, but I always got caught.
And when I did, daddy would ask the same thing your parents asked or that you asked your kids when you caught them… why did you do it?
The answer is usually “All my friends are doing it.”
Ad then they would ask the dumbest question… Robert, if all of your friends jumped off the 5th ave.
bridge, would you jump off of it?
Your kids did the same thing you did when asked that question… rolled their eyes.
However, God seems to think we have a problem with it because he says in
When you read the Bible, you see people over and over again jumping off the bridge with their friends.
Examples -
Peter - Peter had lived with Jesus 3 years… seen miracles… the dead raised… walked on water, but when he was forced to either admit he new Jesus and stand against a crowd or deny knowing him, he jumped off the bridge and denied Jesus.
Pilate - When Jesus was brought to Pilate, Pilate saw that Jesus was innocent, but he gave into the crowd.
He knew they were wrong but he went along with them.
Joseph - Jospeh had 11 brothers who were jealous of him.
They all 11 conspired to sell him into slavery.
Not one objected.
One tried… Reuben but he gave in.
Twelve Israelite Spies - 10 said they could not do it… 2 said they could.
The 10 convinced the while nation to side with them.
Is God Big? or Is the opinion of others big?
Saul - When he became King, Samuel told him that God said to eliminate all of the idols from the land so that people would only worship the Lord.
He was talked out of that.
Later he confessed to Samuel that he had sinned… that he cared more about what the people thought than God so he let them tell him what to do.
When I read this verse and see the examples in scripture, it makes me ask and you may want to Ask yourself.
In what area – areas – of my life, am I caving in to the expectations of other people?
In what areas am I doing what I know is wrong in order to win the approval or to avoid the rejection of other people?
4. It will cause hypocrisy in our lives
We start to wear masks… become like chameleons.
We adapt to our environment.
It’s pretty tiring to always remember which mask you wear with what group.
God doesn’t want you or I to spend our energy wearing masks trying to please everyone.
When we wear masks, we pretend to be something that we are not.
We hid our true selves.
FB is all about masks.
God wants what’s on the outside to reflect what’s on the inside.
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