Living for the Lord

Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 44: Colossians, Philemon Explanation

Right behavior in these areas is the proper outworking of seeking the things above.

Claim - All of life is to be lived ‘for’ the Lord.

Focus - Our conduct in our relationships within marriages, families and work are to be obedient to and motivated by the Lord

Function - To cause us to live ‘for Jesus’ not by our preconceptions, worldly influences or personal opinions (specifically in our marriages, families and work)

PRAY

Our Faith in Jesus and our love for each other spring from the hope stored in heaven for us, col 1v5

We therefore live lives worth of and pleasing to Jesus, col 1 v9

Becasue, in all things Jesus has supremacy, col 1v18

And he has made us ‘full’ of eternal and glory filled salvation col 2v10

So now we live with our minds and hearts on things above col 3v1

putting to death our old earthly habits, col 3v5

and putting on the virtues of Christ, col 3v12.

Isn’t Colossians such an exciting book, full of Jesus, full of freedom, full of who we are now in Christ.

Liberating, exciting, full of hope and joy, full of thankfulness!

Can I suggest that this weeks passage is no less wonderful.

This weeks passage tells us how the relationships in our lives can ‘express the beauty and glory of Jesus’.

This is how you can live lives worthy of the Lord, pleasing to Him in every way.

So let’s not come at these verses with our worldly or cultural hats on.

Let’s come at these verses knowing that they are a way to please Jesus.

This is how we reflect His supremacy, his fulness of salvation, his preeminence in creation and ultimately His love for us.

1 - Husbands and wives

If you need more convinceing, then let the passage speak for itself.

7 times we are motivated to these standards by Jesus the Lord.

‘

18 as is fitting in the Lord..

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 for this pleases the Lord.

22 out of reverence for the Lord.

23 as working for the Lord, not for men,

22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favour, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favouritism.

24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

25 because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

1 - Husbands and wives

This is significant - becasue it sqaurely sits our motivation for this type of life with our love for Jesus.

It is our love for, and our willingness to please, Jesus that is important.

So let’s get into the instructions.

Paul set’s out 3 groups of relationships, starting with the most intimate, and moving to the least.

Husbands and wives,

Father’s and chidlren

Slaves and Masters

Let’s start with the one that is going to generate the most emails to me this week, Husbands and wives!

1 - Husbands and wives

Colossians 3:18–19 NIV - Anglicised

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

There is no getting around that word ‘submit’ or sometimes translated ‘be subject to’.

That is what it means and that is what Paul is communicating.

For some of you, this instruction might be new, and in today’s culture,

I can only imagine is a terrifying shock to you.

For most of us, this is not the first time we have heard this instruction.

Not surprisingly becasue it is repeated several times in the NT

Namely Eph 5v22-24 and 1 Cor 11v7-10.

But it is such an alien idea to our culture that wives are in some way subordinate, or under the headship of their husband, that even to say it sounds morally wrong!

It is such an alien idea to our culture that wives are in some way subordinate, or under the headship of their husband, that even to say it sounds morally wrong!

2 - Fathers and children

And yet here it is. So we need to take it seriously if we are to please Jesus.

I think there are 3 ways this instruction has been misused:

1 - Some have tried to ignore these passages by saying that Paul was simply referring to the culture at that time

- so, to please Jesus, we should fit in with the status quo of things.

So, submissive wives please Jesus, only because they fit in with the culture.

And today, wives are

I hope I don’t have to point out the irony of that though,

given that Paul has spent the first part of chapter 3 convincing us to live outside of our old earthly ways,

putting to death the things of this world,

and putting on the things that belong to our new nature in Christ!

It could hardly be ‘fitting in the Lord’ to adopt whatever the present culture says about relationships!

No, it is fitting in the Lord, for wives to submit to their husbands.

2 - I have also heard it argued that wives can submit to their husbands

becasue their husbands are instructed to love their wives and not be harsh with them.

So the husband always gives the wife what she wants,

so actually is submitting equally (if not more so) to her.

And if he doesn’t love in the way the wife wants,

or if he’s harsh, then the wife doesn’t need to submit to his headship.

But again, I’m not sure I need to tell you that ‘2 wrongs don’t make a right’.

Does it therefore follow that if a wife is not submitting,

then the husband has no duty to love her?

Of course not.

No, it is fitting in the Lord, for wives to submit to their husbands.

3 - this instruction has been used to the opposite extreme.

Almost as a tool for domination by a husband,

who enforces her submission through fear, or abuse, mental or physical,

or through control of freedom.

Statistically it is likely that there are husbands here who are abusing their wives.

Husbands, if you have taken this verse, or any other ‘right’ you think you have,

to deliberately and continually bring pain to your wife,

you need to repent to the Lord,

apologies to your wife,

and seek help to remain accountable.

You can speak to me, or another trusted Christian friend.

This is not enforced submission - this, as we’re about to see -

is voluntary submission of a wife, as her duty before Jesus.

So, if that is what submission is not, what is it?

So, if that is what submission is not, what is it?

The word ‘submit’ has different nuances in the greek,

used repeatedly in the NT.

The technical term for how it is used here is the ‘middle voice’.

And it means that you, a wife, as a free agent,

voluntarily submit yourself to your husband, as is fitting in the Lord.

Why is it fitting, well becasue that is the way God has designed families to work.

We could argue that simply from a practical perspective

families work better when someone is able to lovingly make a final decision,

when there is disagreement.

How glorious a relationship is when a husband,

seeking to love his wife,

makes a decision they disagree about,

and his wife lovingly,

and dare I say it cheerfully submits to his headship.

But also, notice this is not the same word used for Children to fathers or slaves to masters.

There they are to ‘obey’! No discussion required, no debate, no intimacy required.

But submit means be willingly accept your husbands decisions,

while feeling free to talk, and share and debate.

It is to value your husbands thoughts and ideas,

and when a mutual agreement cannot be reached,

It is to recognise that God, in His goodness,

has provided a way forward in these situations.

In reality, I don’t think this

One that doesn’t promote arguments,

breakdown of relationships,

holding on to hurts or jealousy.

But a way forward that pleases and reflects Jesus.

You see this is more than just a practical issue.

A submissive wife is a woman of beauty - becasue - she is demonstrating that she loves Jesus more than herself.

She is willingly wanting to imitate Christ,

more than please herself.

Submission is a big theme in the Christian life.

All Christians are to submissively and humbly submit themselves to Christ.

Just as Christ himself submitted to God the Father.

Phil

And I hope this verse puts the whole (but this surely means women aren;t equal to men question to bed)

Philippians 2:5–9 NIV - Anglicised

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

Submission is far from suggesting that women are less important,

or less equal than men.

Submission cannot suggest inequality or lack of importance...

For Submission is one of the ultimate beauties of Jesus

- Wives, love your husbands, as Christ Jesus loves God the Father -

so that, you too may reflect the beauty of Christ and be rewarded greatly in Heaven.

Submission needs to be celebrated, not berated.

Exhulted, not insulted.

It’s a beautiful calling, and your motivation is The Lord Jesus.

Your husband may not love you, he may be harsh with you

- but submitting to Him is the way to show Him Jesus,

and the way you can please Jesus.

Of course, if he asks you to do things that are against God’s word,

or if he is abusive,

you need to ask a trusted Christian friend to help you through that.

But let’s celebrate that Submission is beautiful, and your motivation is The Lord Jesus.

Now,

Husbands - love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

I’ve said it many times, and it’s the same here, but this is not soppy, romantic, Hollywood love.

This is a deep care for the needs and building up of your wife.

In , Paul compares a husbands love to that of Jesus’s love for the church.

A sacrificial love that ‘presents her radiant’!

Husbands,

do we continually,

willingly and joyfully

make sacrifices for our wives

- care more for her, than we do for ourselves.

So that, our wives are radiant.

We are to be selfless

Radiant in the sense that she is being provided for in a relational way.

We pay attention to her needs, practically, spiritually and romantically.

And I guess the negative rebuke of not being harsh - or embittered

- is becasue, well frankly, us blokes are often selfish and lazy.

So to love our wives like this is not easy.

And of course, just like we often get things wrong, so will our wives.

But we do not use our role of headship to be harsh in those situations.

We use that role to love and care.

This will all mean we chose our hobbies carefully,

so as to have plenty of time for our wives.

We will make time for them.

We will treasure them above all things - other than Jesus himself.

We put their needs before our own,

We will make decisions that allow them to ‘raidiat’. Not is a worldly way - but in a way that buidls them up spiritually, practically and romantically.

and we are gentle and kind as we do it.

That doesn’t mean we

And again, this is not just a practically good way to be,

as God intended.

But it is also a husbands way of pleasing Jesus.

Of being like him,

as he sacrificially loved us,

and was gently,

merciful and kind, even though we deserved his wrath and anger.

Husbands and wives

- if your marriage is on edge

- today is the day to put aside all selfishness

- whether you think it is their fault or yours

- and to put your spouse before yourself.

Wives

Colossians 3:18–19 NIV - Anglicised

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

2 - Parents and children

Colossians 3:20 NIV - Anglicised

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

20

This reference to ‘children’ is likely for those still under the care and supervision of their parents.

Unless they married early that would have included teenagers.

And obey is a simple word. It means obey.

Now obviously young children will only learn these things if they are taught them.

So parents, we need to expect, and enforce at a young age, obedience from our children.

We do them no favours if we give them free reign,

too much choice,

or if we turn a blind eye to their disobedience.

For is we do,

we are setting them up to find it hard to ‘please Jesus’

and we are setting them up to find it hard to ‘obey’ God as well!

God in his kindness has created family order to most effectively bring people to a point of faith.

And a proper understanding for a child that they need to obey,

and will receive a fair punishment if they don’t,

prepares them for understanding that we also deserve punishment from God when we disobey him.

And importantly,

it allows them to understand how gracious God is when they see how Jesus stood in for them - taking the punishment they deserved.

Jesus is pleased with obedient children!

And I deliberately have brought in punishment and discipline in this first section, becasue it is assumed by the next verse.

Colossians 3:21 NIV - Anglicised

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

It does not say

‘do not, shout, punish, discipline or smack.’

What is says is do not embitter them, so they do not become discouraged.

What does that mean?

It means in the process of discipline

(in other words good strong and solid discipline is expected)

don’t create an environment where the child

does not feel able to make things right,

or recover from their mistakes.

Give your child a way to restore their relationship with you.

Firmly close the door of disobedience,

but open the door of reconciliation,

so they are not embittered towards you and so become discouraged.

For is they become discouraged,

then your discipline has become ineffective anyway,

for they will no longer desire to do things right.

Father’s are specifically addressed here,

becasue they are to take the lead,

the headship in this matter

- and perhaps becasue Father’s are more prone to embittering their children

- but this is biblically a parental responsibility to instil obedience, through good discipline,

but in a way that does not embitter.

Perhaps that means once the

telling-off is finished,

time out has expired,

or the smack has taken place -

We want to foster an environment that promotes a genuine repentance, a sorry, (still modelling God’s desire for us)

which in turn has our arms wide open as a reassurance of love.

I know this again is a culturally controversial issue.

And we don’t have a lot of time to deal with it.

But we must not take v21 to mean we should be soft of our children.

We do them no favours if we want them to grow up obeying, and pleasing Jesus.

It is hard wark to raise obedient children.

It is emotionally draining and relationally painful to pick them up on their behaviour all the time.

It’s easy to let it go, to ignore their behaviour.

No-one else is going to teach them to be obedient -

Leanna and I are ofetn asked how we get our chidlren to behave so well.

And please don’t

Leanna and I are often asked how we get our chidlren to behave so well. To be so obedient. And when we tell them how much effort, time, and pain (for oursleves and our chidlren)

and we should want obedient children for their sake, before Jesus.

But that’s a nonscence I’m afraid for 2 reasosn.

1 - God wants them to obey you in everything!

2 - You do get the to obey all sorts of things, you just don;t realise it.

DO you allow them to run into the road, to take of their seatbelts in the car, to play with kitchen knives?

No.

So, expand that principle to ‘everything else’.

Colossians 3:20–21 NIV - Anglicised

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

col 3

3 - Slaves and Masters

Finally we have slaves and masters to cover.

You say its not fair to submit, or he gets his love wrong, so I wont obey. Why are you any better than your husband - so he fails often, and so long as you fail to submit, so do you equally as much!

Now, slavery isn’t likely an issue for anyone here.

But we can glean some pronciples for the world of employees and employers.

But we can glean some principles for the world of work here.

SUbmit -

But there are big differences, so we should be careful.

For example - slaves were not free.

They could not leave and find a new job.

They were not going to get a fair wage for their duties.

So when Paul speaks of a reward in heaven as their motivation,

that has far more meaning than for us,

- who of course will be rewarded in heaven for how we conduct ourselves at work. -

but we do also get a financial reward now,

and freedom within our jobs to discuss pay rises,

pursue new careers,

or rightly report the boss to HR for an abuse of position.

So what are the principles that we can transfer?.

I think they are this, that whilst we are under the employement of someone, (aknowldgening that we are free to leave and discuss pay rises and promotions), we are to adopt certain attitudes and work ethics.

Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 44: Colossians, Philemon Comment

That the one verb can be used in an injunction to describe the attitude required of all Christians, whether in a “dominating” or a “subordinate” position, shows that the notion of inferior dignity need not be present in the term (a point confirmed at 1 Cor 15:28 with reference to Christ;

The New American Commentary: Philippians, Colossians, Philemon Wives (3:18)

In the middle voice, it describes a voluntary submission which resembles that of Christian humility. It may describe Christ’s submission to God (1 Cor 15:58), church members to one another (Eph 5:21, a parallel context to this one), believers submitting in the exercise of their prophetic gifts (1 Cor 14:32), or the proper order for wives (Eph 5:22ff.; Col 3:18). This latter use appeals to free agents to take a place of submission voluntarily. The term does not suggest slavery or servitude, and certainly never calls for the husband to make his wife submit. If he could, her heart would not be in it. Besides, Paul addressed wives here, not husbands. In this context, the word differs radically from the word which describes the role of children and slaves who are to obey (hypakouō).

The New American Commentary: Philippians, Colossians, Philemon Wives (3:18)

By using the word “submit,” Paul separated the kind of obedience expected by the wife from that expected of others. The wife has a very different relationship to her husband than children to parents or slaves to masters.

The motivation for voluntary submission is that it is a proper Christian attitude. The phrase “as is fitting in the Lord” identifies these concerns. The word “fitting” has the idea of proper as a duty. By employing the statement, Paul made it clear that such submission is an outworking of the lordship of Christ. It is part of the Christian order.

1 - v22-24 - Do your job for Jesus at all times- not just when the boss is looking!

It’s your choice - but remember who you are living for...

The New American Commentary: Philippians, Colossians, Philemon Wives (3:18)

Submission is a matter of Christian commitment. It comes with salvation. Voluntarily taking a position of submission is a matter of a wife’s relationship to the Lord, not to her husband. It is “fitting in the Lord.”

The New American Commentary: Philippians, Colossians, Philemon Husbands (3:19)

First, since Paul used the term of Jesus’ attitude who is Lord of all (see 1 Cor 15:28), the term may be appropriately used of one with the highest office. Both wives and husbands must recognize that the term has nothing to do with personal worth and value.

It’s your choice - but remember who you are living for...

You see, as Christians, we live now with our hearts set on eternity with Jesus.

Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 44: Colossians, Philemon Comment

The exhortation to be subordinate is balanced with the instruction to husbands to love their wives: the admonition is an appeal to free and responsible agents that can only be heeded voluntarily, never by the elimination or breaking of the human will, much less by means of a servile submissiveness (Barth, Ephesians 4–6, 609); and finally its motivation is “in the Lord” (see below).

He is our great reward and we want to please him!

So to only work hard when the boss is looking is to say you are living for man, or for self, not for Jesus.

as if fitting

I hope that point is simple enough.

2 - The second principle is that we do not need to justify ourselves in every situtation!

Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 44: Colossians, Philemon Comment

The Christian wife should recognize and accept her subordinate place in this hierarchy, “as is fitting.” This phrase, ὡς ἀνῆκεν (τὸ ἀνῆκον indicates what is proper, one’s duty;

col 3

Colossians 3:25 NIV - Anglicised

Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favouritism.

Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 44: Colossians, Philemon Explanation

The admonition to wives is an appeal to free and responsible agents voluntarily to subordinate themselves to their husbands since this is entirely proper within the new fellowship of those who own Christ as Lord. The husband, for his part, is to show unceasing care and loving service for his wife’s entire well-being. No theological basis is added to the injunction since “the command of love is absolutely valid” (Lohse). And the detailed presentation in the parallel passage (Eph 5:25–33), where Christ’s love for the church is seen as the archetype of the husband’s love for his wife, indicates what the author meant by “love.”

This verse is reminding us, that becasue we now live for Jesus etenral,

You say its not fair to submit, or he gets his love wrong, so I wont obey. Why are you any better than your husband - so he fails often, and so long as you fail to submit, so do you equally as much!

we don’t need to worry about being treated unfairly or unfavourably now.

that becasue we now live for Jesus etenral, we don’t need to worry about being treated unfairly or unfavourably - becasue God will right all wrongs at the end of time. And we know which side we already belong to.

- God will right all wrongs at the end of time.

Paul is obviously referring to unfair and harsh treatment of slaves who could do nothing about their situation.

And of course we can,

we can speak to HR,

raise a complaint,

change jobs,

retire

- and often that is the right thing to do.

But we equally do not need to defend our rights and position in the same way as the world.

Our lives do not depend on what the boss thinks

or who gets the next promotion.

Leave the petty favouritism and office politics to the world.

Just get on with enjoying pleasing Jesus by working all for him.

So,

Finally, we have Masters.

Colossians 4:1 NIV - Anglicised

Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

I think there is supposed to be a sense of fear given to masters here.

If you were a Christian and had a slave - its time to treat them fairly!

This was a massively anti-cultural suggestion!

The whole point of a slave was that they didn’t need treating well, let alone fairly.

But don’f forget who you are under God,

Many of you will have employees, or those under you command. Treat them fairly and in a right way.

Many of you will have employees, or those under you command.

Treat them fairly and in a right way.

Treat them how you would like God to treat you!

Simple - but challenging.

Our conclusion today then is simple.

Do all these things - FOR JESUS.

Forget your grievances, selfishness, pride or culture.

Live for Jesus alone.

PRAY

PRAY