Love and Honour: Beyond Asian Values in the Modern World
Angle: Love with the greatest love, honouring those with the least honour
Purpose: To confront and persuade people with the biblical injunction that they are to love others with Christ’s agape-love, and to honour those who are the least honourable among us.
Rhetorical Tie: Narrative of Forrest Gump
Psychological Centre: Familial love
Sermon Text:
When I was a young boy, growing up in my house in Kuala Lumpur, I had my far-and-away favourite family tradition of Chinese New Year. Receiving ang-pows came a close second, but it wasn’t my favourite tradition. What is one of my fondest memories is how we would hang the longest string of red firecrackers from the ceiling of our open-air garage right down to the floor. My dad would light the fuse at the very bottom, near the floor, and I would stick my fingers in my ears, waiting with eager anticipation for the fun to begin. The firecrackers would start exploding and as the sparks rose higher and higher up the string of fireworks the sound would seem to get louder and the speed would increase. Smoke filled the air and little red bits of red paper were flying everywhere. The pungent burning smell of gunpowder came only at this time of the year and reminded me that this was something special. The last firecracker at the top, near the ceiling, would pop and the sound would stop. (pause) The little red bits of paper would settle down on the ground and as the smoke cleared you could see that the entire floor was completely covered with the red paper bits that the firecrackers had cast around the floor. What I remembered most among all those details, was standing there beside my mum, my dad, and my brothers and sisters. Chinese New Year was a time that my family was always together.
Among all the traditions and beliefs of Chinese New Year, the primary importance of the family was one that was drummed into me, and still stays with me. The visitations, the meals, and the ang-pows all speak of such a theme. We find the same theme woven into the stories and teachings of the bible, where we find the teaching of love and honour. Much of it is familiar to the Chinese culture where we extend ourselves in love to those of our family, and where we pay honour to our parents and the elders in the family. But some of what the Bible challenges us with is at odds with our Asian traditions. While we are still fresh from Chinese New Year, having visited our family and relatives, or at least having thought about them, I would like you take you on a journey of examining love and honour in our Chinese family values, and the principles of love and honour in the Bible. We will see that the kind of love and honour that God calls us to has much in common with our Asian values, but goes beyond them in startling ways. As our text, we will be looking at familiar passages that we have recently covered, 1 Cor 12 and 13, but we will be looking at them in a fresh light.
I also have a guide to help us along this journey, I would like to introduce you to someone who embodies innocence and simplicity. He exemplifies these values of love and honour. Many you already know him, but probably haven’t seen him for many years. And some of you haven’t heard of him, but don’t worry, I will introduce you so you can learn about him today (begin walking/moving away) He is Forrest Gump. This the life story of a man with an IQ of 75. What he lacked in brains, he made up for in heart.
Show Trailer Clip (3:40 min)
Of course, we can forgive Hollywood for playing up the aspect of romantic love in this movie trailer, but the love that Forrest shows is much more than only his love for his childhood sweetheart, Jenny. His love also redeems his Bubba, his fellow soldier and true friend while serving in Vietnam and even redeems Lt. Dan, his proud and bitter commanding officer. I purposely use this word “redeem”, because it is through the love of this man with only an IQ of 75, that each of these people are saved from the destructive forces within themselves and around them. The emotional centre and essential message of this movie, just like that of 1 Cor 13, is that genuine love endures.
Movies are said to be the philosophical indicators of our time, and I think that this movie is a perfect example of this. Forrest Gump reveals the underlying thinking of our culture that has clearly been influenced by the Bible in 1 Cor 13. Let us read verses 4-7.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Today we read this passage and we think, “Wow, what great words. Yes, this is the highest form of love” but we can think this only because these words (pause), and the self-giving sacrifice of Christ on the cross, (pause) have transformed not just what Christians think about love, but what the whole world thinks of the love. In the ancient world of the Greeks, people would not have considered self-giving love the highest form. They esteemed something far less practical, something other-worldly and theoretical. But today, we all watch Forrest Gump and think, yes that kind of goodness, innocence, and genuine self-giving love is what the world needs! Even those who reject Christ live in a world that has the cross of Calvary inscribed in its pages. (pause)
The radical transformation is not yet over. Chris’s love extends from the ancient world to the asian world. The ancient world’s view of love was transformed by Christ’s love. Today, the asian world still need God’s perspective on love. In the ancient world, the concept of love as selflessly forgiving was completely foreign. In our asian world, concepts of love and honour still need the refining work of the cross of Christ. In the ancient world it was said, “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”, meaning that if someone offended you, you deserved revenge in equal measure. Our asian values in the modern world say the same thing, because our honour is at stake. If someone offended anyone in your family, you need to show love by protecting their honour and seeking revenge. But is this the form that genuine love takes?
The message of 1 Cor 13 is that genuine love endures (pause), and redeems us even in the most difficult of circumstances. When we feel like we want to lash out in anger because we have been wronged or hurt. When we just don’t want to bother or care about those around us. Forrest Gump, points us towards us this same truth with what his Mama taught him. Do you remember what Forrest remembered his whole life? His Mama says that stupid is as stupid does
Clip: “Stupid is as stupid does”
You see, what the whole story of Forrest Gump shows us is that is that what proves ultimately stupid, is not your IQ, but what you do and how you behave towards others. Stupid is as stupid does. All the so-called intelligent people in Forrest’s world act stupidly. From Jenny in the hippie movement and her promiscuous lifestyle, to Lt Dan in his inward spiraling cycle of bitterness and resentment, to the American government in the Vietnam War and the Watergate scandal, it is our actions that reveal true stupidity not on our IQ. On the other hand, we have Forrest who lives his whole life with the simple belief of being good and loving to people. While smart people are shown to be stupid by their stupid actions, Forrest proves himself despite his stupidity by staying true his belief of loving those around him. While those around Forrest show that “stupid is as stupid does”, Forrest is ironically revealed as the smart one because he practices the essence of what true love is. When we choose not to be “stupid is as stupid does”, we are freed to realize that:
We love when we practice the essence of what true love is
What is the essence of true love? It is what Forrest does in his life. He lives out 1 Cor 13:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Forrest doesn’t know how to be romantic or seductive, but he knows what love is. In college, when Jenny seduces him, asking if he’s ever been with a woman he replies, “I sit next to them in my home economics class.” Jenny then runs away and only years later does Forrest see her again. She has spurned his love and is completely undeserving, but Forrest still loves her despite how she has treated him. He tells her, “I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is”. Forrest knows that the essence of love is taking care of people and protecting them. He is Hollywood’s Hosea, a picture of unconditional love even though Jenny never deserved it being lavished on her. What was given by grace, eventually redeemed her. For Jenny one day discovers that she has AIDS and is dying very soon. Unable to take care of her young son, it is her unselfish parental love that brings her back to Forrest. She had never told Forrest that she had a son. His name is “little Forrest” and Forrest Gump is the father. When Forrest hears this news, he is shaken, thinking that he had done something wrong and that little Forrest would be stupid like him. But Jenny reassures him that no fault lies with him, and the little Forrest is one of the smartest boys in his class. Jenny eventually returns to Alabama to marry Forrest. By doing she not only recognizes his true love, but more importantly puts unselfishness parental love by leaving “little Forrest” into his care.
Forrest’s love for Jenny illustrates this kind of love in 1 Cor 13. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It extends beyond protecting personal love relationships into protecting our family. This is something about our Asian roots that the Bible upholds. Fresh from Chinese New Year reunions, we all know that family ties are important, but do we really practice it? Do you practice the essence of what true love is, taking care of your family and protecting them? Or are you blown about by the winds of circumstance and emotion? It is a question we must always ask ourselves, for we all can be smart and capable people who can simultaneously act stupidly, living out the truism of “stupid is as stupid does”.
However, there is another aspect of love and honour in Asian traditions that we must think about because the Bible challenges it. While we highly esteem family bonds and love, what we call love of the family is sometimes perverted in the name of “family honour”. When a family member’s actions bring disapproval or shame, many Chinese and Asian families have been known to reject the person outright. In the name of “family honour” we may refuse to speak to our siblings and even disown our children! This is honour in the Asian sense, but the Bible does not speak of love and honour this way. Love is never withheld because of honour, rather love transcends the worldly system of honour. The Son of God gave up all the honour and glory that was due him to become a baby and to die on a cross alongside criminals because of love. The Word of God never holds up honour as something to be valued above an individual person, but rather how we honour someone should flow out of our love. Honour is no longer a system or code that we seek to keep or something to build up for ourselves and our family, but that which guides how we love one another.
There’s a character in the story of Forrest Gump that illustrates this. This is something we all need to learn about love and honour. You see, while Forrest loved Jenny, and Mama, and his own boy “little Forrest” he also loved others around him. The other character in the movie who you need to know is the person named Bubba.
Bubba was in Forrest’s platoon in Vietnam. They served and suffered together. Forrest was called the “village idiot” when he was young and in the army others made fun of him too. But you never see Forrest getting caught up in the shame of it all. Instead, Forrest honours those around him with his love and friendship. Bubba was a black-American who, like Forrest, was non-too-smart and who also came from the racially prejudiced southern state of Alabama. But Forrest didn’t care about skin colour or that Bubba was considered “lowly”. They became great friends as they served and fought alongside each other in the Vietnam War. They promise each other that when the war is over they would get a fishing boat and fish together, but before their dreams could materialize, Bubba is killed. Even though Forrest tries to save him, he dies in his arms.
I see the story of Bubba and Forrest written all over the pages of the bible, but especially so in 1 Cor 12:22-26
Those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honourable we treat with special honour… But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honour to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it, if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it.
How many of us find that when we get treated badly, we take it out on other people? All of us have been guilty of this! And our targets are those who are the easiest, the ones who have no choice but to receive what we dish out. The same actions are played out over and over again in many of our lives. It is the proverbial story of the boss who scolds his employee, who goes home and gets angry with his wife, who yells at the kids, who kick the dog, and it bites the postman!
God never gives us license to take out our frustrations on those who are weaker than us. Instead, God has combined us so that those with less honour are given greater honour. I always puzzled how this could be the case, because when we read this passage we usually jump to “unity in the body” without taking time to think about how those with less honour are given greater honour. I realized that God wants to do this through you and me.
Forrest honoured Bubba not only with his love and friendship while they served together during the war, but also even after the war in which Bubba lost his life. They promised one another to get a boat and earn their living fishing together when the war was over. Their commander, Lt. Dan, hears of their plans and sarcastically replies to Gump that he will come and be his first mate when that happens. The tragedy in the war that causes Bubba to lose his life, also takes aways Lt. Dan’s legs. Though Forrest saved his life, Lt. Dan is furious and bitter because he feels that Forrest has robbed him of his family honour of dying in the war. He rejects further medical treatment and turns inward into bitterness. To make matters worse, it is Forrest who never wanted any recognition, who gets the Medal of Honour. But Forrest always treats his Lieutenant with respect. Later, Forrest fulfils his promise to Bubba, buys a boat and tries to catch shrimp (what we more often call prawns). One day, surprisingly true to his word, Lt Dan hears about Forrest and appears on the docks in his wheelchair to be his first mate. Though it’s tough at first, they eventually become wildly successful and Forrest buys a whole fleet of boats and forms the “Bubba-Gump Shrimp Corporation” in honour of his friend. By the end of the movie, we see Lt Dan smartly dressed again, fitted with prosthetics and getting married. He’s come to terms and come to peace with the war, with his injury, and with his life. He has finally said, “Forrest, I never thanked you for saving my life.” Forrest’s love has redeemed not only Jenny, but also Lt. Dan, and has honoured Bubba.
This is love in action, showing us the biblical concept of honour. This is love that goes beyond the boundaries of personalized emotions and family ties. This is the love of Christ that works from within us to go out into our world. Just as Forrest extends himself and honours Bubba, we must also love when we honour the least honourable among us. This is something so simple that any of us can do it, but also difficult because the pride in all of us hinders us from doing this. Though Bubba doesn’t deserve honour, God has made it so that greater honour is given to those who lack it. You and I are called to honour Bubba. Look around you in your circle of influence to see who the world honours the least and those people are Bubba for you. Is it the cleaner and the tea-lady at your workplace? Foreign workers under your supervision? If you need help and an opportunity to love and honour others, we have plenty of them at Woodlands Social Centre! That’s why this year we want to emphasize getting REAL, R-E-A-L where the L is “Love your neighbour through WSC”. There are Bubba’s all around us who we can honour with our love. O maybe you have someone mind in your family. Is there someone whom others don’t talk about, or even talk down to because they are a bit different or have something to be ashamed of? God wants to honour the least honourable among us and he wants to do it through you and me. Perhaps you have an elderly person in your family who is sick and can hardly move. Did you visit, and honour them through your time and your presence this Chinese New Year? Or did you just rush through the motions because your own schedule was so tight? There are some among you who have been taking care of your aged parents day in, day out for a long period of time. The rewarding moments can feel few and far between, and it more often feels difficult and draining, but God is honoured with your actions. You are displaying his love when you make the sacrifice to honour those whom the world honours the least.
(pause and blank slide)
While it is helpful to allow the story of Forrest Gump to help us interpret the Bible, we must allow the Bible to speak into Forrest Gump and help us move even further beyond Forrest’s challenge to us. While the central message of genuine love enduring is common both to Forrest Gump and 1 Cor 13, one problem is that Forrest’s story is only possible precisely because he is a simpleton with an IQ of 75, and some divine destiny seems to watch over him. While these two things make the movie endearing, are they representative of reality? You see, Forrest never analyzes people or situations because he is unable to. His love, while genuine, is blind and uncritical. Things turn out well for him because destiny smiles upon him time and time again.
Do we also have to have childlike faith in a destiny that is on our side? Do we have to be like a child, giving up our capacity to make distinctions and mindlessly following a path of love to all around us? Must we be simpletons and allow ourselves to be treated like doormats while waving the banner of love, no matter how others may spurn us or take advantage of us?
The answer that rings clearly from Scripture is no! When instructing us how to deal with spiritual issues, Paul tells us in 1 Cor 14:20
Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.
There is a place for childlike innocence in the Christian faith, but we are still called to think, to analyze, and to discern. We need to apply a more sophisticated adult way of thinking to our exercise of love and honour as well. We love when we persevere wisely rather than endure naively
This point is sometimes misunderstood in the Christian faith, precisely because of 1 Cor 13, and in particular verse 7 which in some translations like the NASB says, “[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If we misunderstand this verse, we may think that we are to be uncritically accepting, trusting, and enduring. We are to be exactly like Forrest Gump who unquestioningly follows a simple of path love, and we are therefore to hope that God will treat us just as destiny favoured Forrest Gump.
I believe a translation that is truer to Paul’s intent is found in our NIV translation that says, “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” There is a subtle but important difference here. We are no longer called to endure all things but to endure at all times. We need no longer persevere naively no matter how we are being treated, but instead we can continue to hope and persevere while making wise choices. This is what I mean when I say that we love when we persevere wisely rather than endure mindlessly.
This truth is double-edged. Some of us need to hear the first edge because we tend to give up on people. When we are insulted, hurt, or affronted we close off all doors to the person and it would take a miracle from God for us to re-open those doors. We need to be reminded that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. We may choose to wisely distance ourselves from a damaging relationship, but love always continues to hope and perseveres.
Some of us need the second edge of this truth, because we are stuck in a relationship that is harmful to ourselves and we need to distance ourselves from it. We may be honestly trying to be good Christians by bearing all things and enduring all the things, because we think that is the way God wants us to behave. But God does not want you trapped in a relationship that stops you from growing and fulfilling your purposes in life. If you find yourself persevering mindlessly then perhaps the bonds of an unhealthy relationship need to be cut with the second edge of this truth.
(pause and blank slide)
Conclusion: Remember my first story about how I celebrated Chinese New Year as a young boy in Malaysia with my family? I told you that I especially remembered it as a time when my family was together. You see, my Dad wasn’t around very much when I was growing up, and by the time I turned 12, my parents separated. Since that time, I see my father less and less frequently. As each year passes, and more things are left unsaid and unopened, it becomes more and more difficult to connect with the person who is my father but who is fast becoming a stranger. Things became even more difficult recently when I got married, because I made a choice to put my step-father’s name on the wedding invitation rather than his. He felt insulted and dishonoured and from that time last year didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I could yell back in anger, or seethe inwardly with indignation, hurt, and frustration… or I could allow Christ’s genuine love to stop this cycle of anger and resentment. I can allow love to transcend the honour system. Things aren’t resolved completely yet, so at Chinese New Year it’s a time for to reflect, think back, and value everything that God has given me even though my family is not picture-perfect today.
These family values have been rooted in my Chinese upbringing since young, even though I am quite non-typical Chinese, and the Bible affirms them. Yet there is a sense in which I need to be discontent with my value-system always allowing it to be molded and crafted by the Word of God in the Bible, and the Word of God in Christ Jesus.
If a man with an IQ of 75 can be so empowered by his mother’s love and teaching to transform the lives of those around him, can we allow Christ’s love to enter your lives and transform the way we love and honour everyone around us?