Peace filled friendship with God and others is rooted in a life of Humble living.

1. Friendships gone bad

English Standard Version Chapter 4

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?

English Standard Version Chapter 3

Who is wise and understanding among you?

(WHO:) James is talking to believers in the church

Who is wise and understanding among you?

The Purpose or Root Cause of Jame’s discussion of the tongue and wisdom from the previous chapter appears in this next section. What was he saying to us? Of the tongue he says “it is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, in fact its set on fire by hell”. He goes on to say “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

He also contrasts the person who is walking in Worldly Wisdom to the person who is walking in Godly Wisdom.

If you’re living your life in the Wisdom that comes from the world, your life is characterized by worldliness, jealousy, selfish ambition (living primarily for self gratification) resulting in a life of sinful vile practices that are contrary to following Christ and glorifying God.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

If you’re living your life in the Wisdom that comes from the world, your life is characterized by worldliness, jealousy, selfish ambition (living primarily for self gratification) resulting in a life of sinful vile practices that are contrary to following Christ and glorifying God.

In Contrast, a life lived with a wisdom that comes from God is a life resulting in a harvest of righteousness and Peace.

So now James is continuing his message to his fellow christians letting them know what is the cause for the disunity and fighting that’s going on in there midst.

James starts out this section of his letter with a question. 4:1, (What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?) There were struggles in the christian community that James was writing to. Each person wanted what was only best for them and James is going to make it very clear that these struggles are not coming from God but from with in themselves.

James is painting a picture of the church as he saw it at the time, Fights and Quarrels, Battle, Kill, and Coveting. Just like we are when engaged in a battle with word, we are justified in our own minds that we are right, and it is for the right reasons or cause. But James shines the light on them as through God’s eyes. He traces the origins of these conflicts not to there Love of God but to there own sinful desires and passions.

Now this is certainly a topic that we can all relate to. All of us at one time or another either with a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend or maybe your boss, we all have walked in the unpleasant waters of quarrels and fights.

Story or Testimony:

James is going to explain to us why even the closest of friendships can turn to fights and quarrels.

And if you look at the end of this passage in verses 11 and 12 you will see a similar way frienships go bad.

Read verses 11 and 12

Not only is James addressing quarrels and fights but he also sees speaking evil and judging as a major problem.

Our relationships can go bad when we fight, quarrel, speak evil and judge.

Transtion

But James goal in sharing this with us is to do more than just point out the obvious. He wants to drill down to depth of our hearts and expose what is really going on when we have conflicts with others.

2. Friendship with the World

2. Friendship with the World

Read

English Standard Version Chapter 4

4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

There seems to be stages of thought here that peels back the layers of sin in the human heart. And in the end James says that the most inner part of the problem behind your conflicts is that you are a friend of the world.

Do you see that in vers 4.

English Standard Version Chapter 4

4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

It is our love affair with the world that is behind our friendships going bad. Let’s see how God speaks to us through James about different layers of sin in our hearts behind this friendship with the world.

He begins with verse 1 “Your passions are at war within you”

(Unpack/ teach/ explain verses 2 and 3)

Conflicts don’t create sin, conflicts reveal sin. And what does conflict normally reveal? Conflicts reveal a certain unsatisfied sinful craving. James wants his readers to discern the cause of their quarrels and fights. The original readers lacked discernment as to the cause of their conflicts. Perhaps you need discernment as to the cause as well. I know I do. What causes quarrels and what causes fights? Sinful cravings within are the cause of quarrels and fights and recognizing that can make an immediate and significant difference in both avoiding conflict and resolving conflict. This can make all the difference.

David Powlison helps us to understand the difference this discernment can make when he writes:

“One of the joys of biblical ministry comes when you are able to turn on the lights in another person’s dark room. I have yet to meet a couple locked in hostility (and the accompanying fear, self-pity, hurt and self-righteousness) who really understood and reckoned with their motives. teaches that cravings underlie conflicts.” (Cravings underlie Conflict) that would be a good word to remember right? he goes on to say “Why do you fight? It’s not because of my wife or husband. It’s because of something about you! And couples who see what rules them (cravings for affection, attention, power, vindication, control, comfort, a hassle-free life) can repent and find God’s grace made real to them and then learn how to make peace.”

James is very deliberate in bringing across the that when our passion, cravings and desires are directed away from God that it is no less than committing adultery with God.

(Sum up how passions, desires, coveting and asking with wrong motives is summed up as an adulterous friendship with the world)

3. Friendship with God

So the way to prevent quarrel, fights, speaking evil and judging is to have a growing friendship with God.

Read verses 5 - 10

English Standard Version Chapter 4

5 Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

What we see here is that God plays a part in his friendship with us and we play a part in our friendship with God.

A. God’s Part in Our Friendship

God is jealous for a deeper relationship with you

God gives grace

B. Our Part in Friendship with God

The bottom line to friendship with God is receiving His grace through a humble heart. So in verse 6 he talks about humility and in verse 10 he talks about humility. And everything in between verses 6 and 10 are ways we can cultivate so we can grow in our friendship with God. So let’s explore with James what Humility looks like.

Submit to God

Resist the devil

Draw near to God

Cleans our hands

Purify our hearts

Be wretched, mourn, weep and wail.

Conclusion/Application

Seems that James has clearly answered the question he started with.

Your fighting, quarreling, speaking evil and judging are all linked to you adulterous friendship with the world.

Do you want to stop the fighting? Then in humility seek a deep satisfying friendship with God.