The Characteristics of a Friend

Introduction:

Humans were made for relationships. I can prove that to you in just two body parts your ears and your mouth. You were made to hear from other people and to talk to other people. Relationship outranks success and achievement.

Friendship is a life principle and life will be hard life if you choose to ignore this principle.

“You can choose your friends but you sho’ cant choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.” Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

The foundation for all of our relationships is friendship. Everyone has a deep desire to have real, true friends. Friendship is a pillar of salvation.

Background:

Background:

Proverbs is a collection of wisdom written to give the reader both instruction and example for godly living. Right behavior.

A Proverb illustrates a general principle, not a promise. The truisms of Proverbs are not absolute promises, but general principles based on careful observation of the human experience.

The goal of proverbs is character development/sanctification.

would have been Solomon communicating this truth amongst his family (around the dinner table).

Proverbs 17:17 NASB95

17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

What is a Friend?

Aristotle said “a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Friend is defined as a close companion, a neighbor, to get oneself involved and mixed up with, to join.

A rare type of Person that does a particular thing.

What does a friend do?

Loves at all times.

Love is an ambiguous term best defined as doing well toward others.

Love Says: I’ve seen the ugly parts of you, and Im staying. Our culture doesn’t love love; it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without the sacrifice.-Matt Chandler

Friendship is not limited to space (Location)

Proverbs 17:17 NASB95

17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.

“Time” refers also to location

Friendship is not limited to time (circumstances)

The text counters Fair-weather friends

“Foul-weather friends are the only ones worth having”

This text is not about gaining this type of friend. Its about being one.

illustrates the type of friend we should be. Please turn there.

2 Samuel 9:1–13 NASB95

1 Then David said, “Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” 2 Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David; and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” And he said, “I am your servant.” 3 The king said, “Is there not yet anyone of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?” And Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan who is crippled in both feet.” 4 So the king said to him, “Where is he?” And Ziba said to the king, “Behold, he is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.” 5 Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, from Lo-debar. 6 Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, “Mephibosheth.” And he said, “Here is your servant!” 7 David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly.” 8 Again he prostrated himself and said, “What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?” 9 Then the king called Saul’s servant Ziba and said to him, “All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master’s grandson. 10 “You and your sons and your servants shall cultivate the land for him, and you shall bring in the produce so that your master’s grandson may have food; nevertheless Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall eat at my table regularly.” Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. 11 Then Ziba said to the king, “According to all that my lord the king commands his servant so your servant will do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table as one of the king’s sons. 12 Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. And all who lived in the house of Ziba were servants to Mephibosheth. 13 So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate at the king’s table regularly. Now he was lame in both feet.

The Characteristics of Friendship

1. A Friend is Selfless

A King said one day that today was the day that he would destroy all his enemies. During the evening a few men came to him and asked him the results. He replied “ I have destroyed all my enemies , I have made them my friends.”

Kept his covenant with Jonathan( v.1) (:14)

The new king would eradicate his enemies family

David Not concerned about his reputation.

Mephibosheth crippled (v.3)

Mephibosheth living in Lo-debar (Nothing, without) (v.4)

Concerned about his enemies grandson

2. A Friend is Steadfast

David asked twice about helping the house of Saul (v. 1, v. 3)

Friendship is costly. (v.7)

Friendship involves investment

Requires: Time, Emotion, money.....

Proverbs 18:24 NASB95

24 A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

“I went to find a friend and couldn’t find any, I went and became a friend and they were everywhere.”

3. Friendship is Sanctifying

David Redeemed the life of Mephibosheth (v.7)

“Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness” (explain)

Mephibosheth was restored (v.7)

“will restore to you all the land…)

Mephibosheth was rewarded (v.7, 9-13)

Friendship set Mephibosheth apart.

The Point of Friendship

Illustrates the character and purpose of God

Demonstrates the unconditional covenant keeping of God

Friendship is vertical and horizontal (between God and man. Between men and men)

Conclusion

This story of friendship is the gospel message of Jesus Christ

Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations 3901 Man Only Wanted King’s Friendship

Man Only Wanted King’s Friendship

The story is told by the Persians of the great Shah Abbas, who reigned magnificently in Persia, but loved to mingle with the people in disguise. Once, dressed as a poor man, he descended the long flight of stairs, dark and damp, to the tiny cellar where the fireman, seated on ashes, was tending the furnace.

The king sat down beside him and began to talk. At mealtime the fireman produced some coarse, black bread and a jug of water and they ate and drank. The Shah went away, but returned again and again, for his heart was filled with sympathy for the lonely man. He gave his sweet counsel, and the poor man opened his whole heart and loved this friend, so kind, so wise, and yet poor like himself.

At last the emperor thought, “I will tell him who I am, and see what gift he will ask.” So he said, “You think me poor, but I am Shah Abbas your emperor.” He expected a petition for some great thing, but the man sat silent. Gazing, he said, “Haven’t you understood? I can make you rich and noble, can give you a city, can appoint you as a great ruler. Have you nothing to ask?”

The man replied gently, “Yes, my lord, I understood. But what is this you have done, to leave your palace and glory, to sit with me in this dark place, to partake of my coarse fare, to care whether my heart is glad or sorry? Even you can give nothing more precious. On others you may bestow rich presents but to me you have given yourself; it only remains to ask that you never withdraw this gift of your friendship.”

—A. Naismith

We were/are Mephibosheth

Jesus kept a covenant

Helpless/Lame not in our feet but in our spirits

We were living in a place called nowhere

But Jesus just like David...

Jesus Kept his covenant (integrity in friendship)

Jesus pursued us (genuinely showed himself friendly)

Jesus was no respecter of our person (our condition or location)

Jesus was and is kind

Jesus redeemed (from sin)

Jesus restored us (to the family of God)

Jesus has rewarded us (to a heavenly home)

Invitation/Response

Salvation or Baptism

Romans 5:8 NASB95

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.