Challenges Facing Teens

Introduce myself - Pastor Isaiah, worked with teens going on 6 years

Pastor Brian asked me to address the twin topics of challenges and opportunities facing teens

Game-plan is to layout several challenges this week, and then a few final challenges next week along with opportunities Lakewood’s teens face

Goal: to provide practical ways you, as a member of our church family, can support, encourage, and disciple teens.

Challenge: No 2018 edition of Proverbs that specifically addresses the challenges and opportunities facing teens. This type of study doesn’t lend itself to exegesis of one passage and then grappling with what the text says. This teaching time will be more topical in nature.

However, I would like to begin with a passage, and ask a question for you to answer.

What entertainment was available when you were a teen (music, tv shows, movies, “on the town” opportunities)?

In timeless terms, what were the challenges these teens faced?

Incredible pressure to commit Idolatry (external)

Cultural pressure to conform (external)

Authoritarian pressure to conform (external)

Reputations on the line (internal/external)

Compromise after making a point

Cultural destruction for standing up for beliefs (external)

Technology leveraged against them (instruments creating a scene of worship) (external)

Jealous peers and wicked acquaintances (external)

Seeing Compromise as permissible after making a point (internal)

Fear (internal)

Su

Identity issues (internal) - Who am I?

They may listen to different music, they may play different games and have different toys, they may wear different styles than you would wear, but ultimately, their challenges are challenges every human being faces.

Questions to ask yourself as we walk through this:

What challenges do I identify with? What challenges do I have a hard time understanding?

Is my lack of understanding do to my lack of grace and love towards younger believers, or is my lack of understanding simply tied into my experiences? Or something else entirely?

Qualifications

Don’t ever assume a teen at Lakewood is a believer, regardless of externals. As you engage them in conversation, engage them with the gospel. Poke and prod as much as you are comfortable, prompting them to test themselves to see if they are in the faith. No thoughtful parent will ever take offense at another adult loving their younger brother or sister in Christ enough to stir them up concerning their eternal security and their present object of trust.

This discussion approaches challenges from the assumption that a teen is a believer.

One of the fundamental questions of humanity that you need to wrestle with every day.

Related to the essence of who man is. Believing teens are quick to self-identify as: smart students, average students, below-average students, soccer players, basketball players, volley-ball players, board-game players, Christian-school kids, homeschool-kids, public-school kids, fill-in-the-blank-with-an-instrument players, nerds, geeks, readers, authors, popular, unpopular, lonely, depressed, dating, single, someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend… the list goes on and on. These categories don’t define who they are. Even their last name doesn’t define who they are.

But who are believing teens, really?

Believing teens are God’simage-bearers ().

Believing teens are “elect exiles” (); in Al Mohler’s words, believing teens are part of that graced group of people who have been “chosen to an exilic existence”.

1 Peter 1:1–9 ESV

Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who are elect exiles of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood: May grace and peace be multiplied to you. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Solution: Believing teens need to embrace their God-given identity as elect exiles, sons and daughters of the Almighty God, co-heirs with the coming King of a future kingdom.

Practical application for Lakewood’s family:

Don’t expect teens to find their own identity in Christ without role-models who know who they are in Christ. Daily secure your identity in Christ. You are not primarily a mom, a wife, a father, a husband, a grandparent, a single-parent, a divorcee, a business-owner, a home-maker, an entrepreneur, a creative, an artist, an intellectual, retired, jobless, homeowner, renter, employer, employee, supervisor, manager, or boss. If you are a believer, you are an elect-exile, made in God’s image, and being remade into the image of your King and co-heir, Jesus Christ.

Be transparent in conversation with teens. Tell them point-blank what you sought your identity in as a teen, and how, apart from God in Christ, it failed to satisfy you.

Pray that Lakewood’s teens, and you and I, would find our identity in Christ and in Christ alone.

Another universal challenge, no matter if you are a teen or not.

With all of the extra-curricular activities teens are involved in; with all of the societal pressure for our teens to succeed and surpass all others in whatever arena of life they enter into, it is no wonder our teens have a hard time keeping their ultimate purpose in view. Their ultimate purpose is not to be the star of the soccer team, to ace every test, to get a scholarship for sports for college, to make a lot of money, to be successful, to be known, to be popular, to be respected, to be a leader, to be liked, to have a lot of friends on FB or likes on Instagram.

A believing teen is here for one purpose:

1 Peter 2:9 ESV

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Solution: Believing teens need to constantly evaluate and reorient their priorities 1) so that they know the excellencies of the God whom they are to proclaim to others and 2) so that they are able to proclaim Him to others. Teens need to prioritize their time in the Word to know God. This is part of enjoying eternal life now ().

Practical application for Lakewood’s family:

Evaluate your own schedule and activities. Are you modeling a life that reflects a proper understanding of priorities? If not, what needs to change? If so, is there someone near by you can help disciple into a healthier, more biblical perspective on a believer’s purpose in life?

In conversation, don’t keep the focus on things that don’t really matter. “Did you win?” is at times an appropriate question, but ultimately, it is irrelevant. “How’s your testimony with your teammates? Do they know you are a believer? What conversations about spiritual things have you had with them?” “What is God teaching you about himself this week?” “What struggles have you had?” “Who can I pray for with you, that God would give you an opportunity to share the gospel with?” “What else can I pray for you for?”

If you are a parent of a teen, evaluate your teen’s schedule and activities and be willing to make hard choices. Is their enough margin for your teen to be developing their walk with God in solitude and quiet? How are you intentionally setting them up for success in that which really matters?

Pray that God would keep Lakewood’s teens, and you and I, focused on our ultimate purpose.

Call this inherited sin, call this original sin, it boils down to the same thing: Adam’s sin plunged the human race and all individuals into sin. We are born sinful, and sin has corrupted our entire nature. We are in bondage to this sin nature, and apart from God’s grace, can only do those actions that are in conformity to our sin nature. This doesn’t mean we are as sinful as we could be, but it does mean that we are thoroughly sinful.

While a believing teen is indwelt by the Holy Spirit, has his or her forgiveness cleansed by the blood of Jesus, and has been given new life in Christ, the sin nature still exists. It won’t be eradicated this side of eternity, but it will be progressively changed this side of eternity.

Romans 7:14–24 ESV

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

English Standard Version Chapter 5

13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. qOnly do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love rserve one another. 14 For sthe whole law is fulfilled in one word: t“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you ubite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

16 But I say, vwalk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify wthe desires of the flesh. 17 For xthe desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, yto keep you from doing the things you want to do.

Galatians 5:13–17 ESV

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.

Solution: Teens need walk in the grace of God found in the person of Jesus Christ to “be who they are” in Christ, to overcome their sin propensities and desires.

Practical application for Lakewood’s family:

Expect that teens will sin, and don’t be shocked when they do. Don’t be surprised when an unsaved teen acts like an unsaved teen. Don’t be surprised when a saved teen is attracted to sin, even thought it is a sin you would never find yourself attracted to.

Don’t be surprised when a saved teen is attracted to sin, even thought it is a sin you would never find yourself attracted to.

Encourage teens in conversation regarding your own sin struggles and how God through Christ is strengthening you to overcome them, while simultaneously and publically demonstrating your own pursuit of the grace of God in Christ to overcome your sinful propensities.

Pray that God would protect Lakewood teens, and you and I, from our own sinful flesh.

1 John 5:20–21 ESV

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols.

Our hearts have been described as idol factories; a teen’s heart is no different. Their idols might look different than ours, but they are all idols: sports, physical fitness, certain score on a standardized test, the cool friends, the newest tech, the latest social media account, the latest phone, clothing, a brand, money, friends, video games, computer games, smartphone games, reading, Marvel superheroes, movies, tv shows, pleasure, self. None of these things by themselves are wrong; all of these things become wrong when they become ultimate things.

We might idolize financial security and they idolize

References: , , ,

Jude 25 ESV

to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Deuteronomy 10:12–18 ESV

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good? Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it. Yet the Lord set his heart in love on your fathers and chose their offspring after them, you above all peoples, as you are this day. Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn. For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Matthew 22:37 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Solution: Teens need to be constantly reminded of the greatness of their God, and the amazing grace of his activity towards them. As long as his activity and attributes are rightly understood, idolatry doesn’t stand a chance.

Practical Application for Lakewood’s family:

Keep yourselves from idols. If teens look at their parents, or their grandparents, or their friend’s parents, or a deacon’s family, or their coworker in children’s ministries, and see someone more in love with looks, or money, or sports, or the approval of others, or their big-boy and big-girl toys, or the Brewers or Packers, or their individual physical fitness, or food, or health or themselves — if they see their church family and physical family members who claim to be followers of Christ, who are actually more in love and more devoted to something other than Christ, their Redeemer and Savior, don’t be surprised if idolatry becomes an issue for them. On the contrary, though; if teens are surrounded week in and week out by a myriad of people who know they are wrecks and fools, but they are wrecks and fools for Christ’s sake, and totally in love with him and sold out to living for the glory of God, spiritually sensitive teens will begin to crave that.

Discern and ask about possible idols in conversation with teens. When you hear about a particular sport or a particular activity constantly, conjoined with rare mentions of anything spiritual, have the courage to point it out.

“You know, Paul, it seems like every time we talk, all we talk about is cars. I am seeing this may be an idol in my life. How about for you? Are you committing time, energy, devotion, and loyalty to four wheels and an engine over God?”

“You know Amanda, it seems that when you and I connect, you talk a lot about clothing. Are you really concerned with how you look, and how you come across? Is this coming from just a desire to look classy, or is this a desire to impress and wow people?”

Pray that God would keep our teens, and you and I, from idols.

Our social media culture encourages a relationship that are a mile wide and a pixel deep. Teens are seeing everything that everyone is doing. THey are seeing what they aren’t invited to; they are seeing their “friends

Any person living in relationship with teenagers aches at the commonplace sufferings and intermittent traumas these young people endure. Witnessing the awkward, insecure, acne phases of middle school and the failed fashion experiments of high school makes me cringe. Seeing kids screaming for attention through provocative tweets and Facebook messages breaks my heart. Knowing the loneliness and alienation that comes in these years of self-doubt, religious questioning, and parental conflict causes me to lament. Yet these are the common experiences of almost every teen. (Cole, Cameron. Gospel-Centered Youth Ministry: A Practical Guide (Kindle Locations 233-237). Crossway. Kindle Edition.)

This question is as old as the human experience. Much of what a teenager does is shaped by insecurity. Sometimes there is something more sinister going on, but insecurity can lead into far greater sins and far deeper entanglements.

Cole, Cameron. Gospel-Centered Youth Ministry: A Practical Guide (Kindle Locations 233-237). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

Dozens of statements and prayers in the Psalms begging God for the security of honor rather than shame, and that his (ie.e. God’s) enemies would experience shame rather than honor:

O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.

Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me!

O Lord, let me not be put to shame, for I call upon you; let the wicked be put to shame; let them go silently to Sheol.

Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life! Let them be turned back and disappointed who devise evil against me!

Let them be put to shame and disappointed altogether who rejoice at my calamity! Let them be clothed with shame and dishonor who magnify themselves against me!

they are not put to shame in evil times; in the days of famine they have abundance.

Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether who seek to snatch away my life; let those be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt!

But you have saved us from our foes and have put to shame those who hate us.

But you have rejected us and disgraced us and have not gone out with our armies.

There they are, in great terror, where there is no terror! For God scatters the bones of him who encamps against you; you put them to shame, for God has rejected them.

He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel.

Let them be put to shame and confusion who seek my life! Let them be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt!

In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame!

May my accusers be put to shame and consumed; with scorn and disgrace may they be covered who seek my hurt.

And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long, for they have been put to shame and disappointed who sought to do me hurt.

Let not the downtrodden turn back in shame; let the poor and needy praise your name.

Let them be put to shame and dismayed forever; let them perish in disgrace,

Show me a sign of your favor, that those who hate me may see and be put to shame because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

All worshipers of images are put to shame, who make their boast in worthless idols; worship him, all you gods!

Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad!

Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.

I cling to your testimonies, O Lord; let me not be put to shame!

I will also speak of your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame,

Let the insolent be put to shame, because they have wronged me with falsehood; as for me, I will meditate on your precepts.

May my heart be blameless in your statutes, that I may not be put to shame!

Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope!

Scriptures answer to these prayers: , , , ,

Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope!

Romans 9:33 ESV

as it is written, “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”

Romans 10:11 ESV

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”

1 Peter 2:6 ESV

For it stands in Scripture: “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”

1 Peter 3:15–16 ESV

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

Solution: Teens need entrust themselves entirely to the one who has called them out of darkness into his marvelous light, and allow the freedom Christ has brought them to free them from the felt necessity of security their place, position, privileges or honor in their immediate surroundings, and free them to love God and love others.

Practical Application for Lakewood’s family:

Entrust yourself entirely to your Savior to secure your eternal honor with him, regardless of any shame or humiliation in the present. If teens see you constantly fighting to protect your own honor and to secure your rights and to be noticed and appreciated, they will see the disconnect between what you say you believe, and what you actually believe enough to influence your behavior.

Love teens who are awkward and insecure. Talk to them and show them the love of Christ. Remind them verbally that they are eternally accepted into the beloved, that they are coheirs with Christ, that he has secured their honor with his own glory.

Pray that Lakewood’s teens, and you and I, would find our ultimate identity in our relationship with Jesus Christ, and thus embrace a posture self-forgetfulness and of love towards God and others.

Notice we have come full circle: Identity —> Purpose —> Sin Nature —> Idolatry —> Insecurity —> Identity

Notice that the solutions are impossible apart from the grace of God being poured out through the Spirit of God working in the hearts of regenerate teens.

Notice that the applications require personal appropriation of the truth, intentional conversation with teens, and invested prayer on their behalf.

So let us apply, and talk, and pray.

Challenges Facing Teens

Introduction

- Old Testament Teens

Point: You and I often find ourselves in type positions, and so do Lakewood’s teens. Do not view the teens as fundamentally different than yourself or your friends in your age group.

Internal Challenges Lakewood’s Teens Face

Internal Challenge #1: Identity - “Who Am I?”

Purpose - “Why am I here?”

Internal Challenge #2: Purpose - “Why am I here?”

Internal Challenge #3: Sin Nature - “What's wrong with me?”

Internal Challenge #4: Idolatry - “Who or what rightly demands my ultimate allegiance by way of time, energy, devotion, and love?”

Loneliness - “Can anyone understand what I am going through?”

Internal Challenge #5: Insecurity - “Will I be put to shame?”

Conclusion

Challenges Facing Teens

Introduction

- Old Testament Teens

Point: You and I often find ourselves in type positions, and so do Lakewood’s teens. Do not view the teens as fundamentally different than yourself or your friends in your age group.

Internal Challenges Lakewood’s Teens Face

Internal Challenge #1: Identity - “Who Am I?”

Purpose - “Why am I here?”

Internal Challenge #2: Purpose - “Why am I here?”

Internal Challenge #3: Sin Nature - “What's wrong with me?”

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Internal Challenge #4: Idolatry - “Who or what rightly demands my ultimate allegiance by way of time, energy, devotion, and love?”

Loneliness - “Can anyone understand what I am going through?”

Internal Challenge #5: Insecurity - “Will I be put to shame?”

Conclusion