My Story: Choosing to Stop

17 Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. 19 Now listen to me. I will give you counsel, and God be with you! You should represent the people before God, and you should bring their cases before God; 20 teach them the statutes and instructions and make known to them the way they are to go and the things they are to do.

23 If you do this, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people will go to their home in peace.”

, (NRSV)

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Orientation

Moses is a major character of the Bible and the Christian identity. What many of you may not know is that he is a major figure in the Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Islam and Baha’i. He is also a current and relevant figure for anyone who is interested in government, politics or law because the story of Moses has had a powerful impact and continues to have a strong influence in all these areas of our life and religious understanding. Moses’ life story is relevant, one that we can relate to personally often times and has many highs lows with twists, turns. It also is the story of a individual who is continually redeemed by God and how God can take someone who seems to have no hope turn it into towards a path of power and significance. A story we want to tell.

Everyone Has A Story!

It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are; young, old, cool, not cool, church person, non-church person, every single one of us has a story. And the good news is that all of us have portions of our story that we’re really proud to tell.

From Video: Regret, remorse, pages and pages of life wasted and gone. But your story isn’t finished yet. There is still time for edits and cuts.

But before you start doing the right things, sometimes you need to stop doing the wrong things. - Pastor Craig Groeshel, My Story, pt 2

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- Pastor Craig Groeshel, My Story, pt 2

Sometimes Choosing to Start Requires Choosing to Stop

That was the case for Moses. Jethro had to remind Moses that he was not God. He was not perfect and it wasn’t really him who was writing God’s story. We was just one of many characters and that he also wasn’t alone in caring for the people there were others who could carry that load. Jethro is worried that Moses is putting the burden of being someone he could never be on his own shoulders rather than depending upon God to do God’s part in writing this story.

I have to admit that most of my life I personally have had problems with perfectionism. What is perfectionism? Well Dictionary.com defines perfectionism as the “refusal to accept any standard short of perfection”. This means that perfectionism is tied to our sense of ideals and values and a deep need to not accept any standard that is short of perfection. When you are a perfectionist you tend to believe that perfection is attainable. This is a problem because none of us are perfect people, right? Can I get and Amen to that?!

However, I think that many of us never recognize symptoms of perfectionism in our own lives. I love reading short Psychology Today posts online from time to time. In November of 2016, Psychology Today posted a self reflective quiz that I think is very good at helping us identify

We are a United Methodist congregation. As United Methodists, we know our story is rooted in the legacy of John Wesley. He believed that salvation wasn’t a single, one-time event or moment in our life but that salvation was an ongoing experience of God’s grace and presence which transforms us into who God intends us to become. Salvation was the result of God’s work and our willingness to cooperate and be transformed in to what we were created to be; holy stewards or embodied images of God that live and breath revealing the very character or image of God in tangible visible ways. To be holy is to be like a mirror that reflects the image of the person looking into it. To be a moon or planet that reflects back the light of the Sun which is shining upon it. To be holy, is to be a living manifestation revealing attributes of God to a world that cannot see God’s presence . Perfection is something we can attain but only through the indwelling of a perfecting God perfects us. We are not complete, nor can we fulfill our good story without God’s goodness writing that story through us.

Today begins our third sermon in a five part series. Over the last couple of weeks we have learned that the Bible is God’s story. Not only are we characters in this grand epic of a story but we each have a role to play in bring it to completion and fulfillment. It is a story which has a great beginning and the plot or ending of the story has been sketched out and revealed to us though the living example of Jesus Christ and is also being steered by the Holy Spirit, our holy Triune God who is the supreme Author and Creator.

All humankind was created in God’s image, this means we have divine characteristics which were intended to reveal or reflect holiness. That means we were created to look and act like God and by doing God’s will reveal God’s presence in the world through our activity. This is what “being Holy” means. However, God gave us “free will” a divine characteristic which means we have the capacity to think and make decisions ourself; just like God has freedom to make decisions.

Last week, we made a decision to start; to start the journey towards a story we want to tell. And Jethro’s advise to Moses, (Moses’ father-in-law), is this “What you’re doing is not good.” Now, Moses from our human perspective is doing a good thing. He is acting as a judge and guide for the people of Isreal. Moses is an important man and he has this special knowledge and special relationship with God that no other human being seems to have at this time so it should be surprising that people look to him for leadership in all things. I t probably seem logical to Moses that this is something he should be doing.

Slide of Moses with Jethro and the people here.

Doing what seems Good does not equal doing what is Right?

Moses is doing what he believes is the right thing to do because these people need help. However, Moses habit of doing ‘God’s business’ has become a habit or pattern of putting on what we call in my household, the “Mr.Fix-it” hat. The reason we call it, that is because when Gary and I were a young married couple we would read relationship building advice books to each other while we traveled. One of the books we read was “ John Grey’s, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. While reading this book, we discovered a behavior in our relationship which we didn’t realize existed and it was connected to much of our marital problems at the time.

We would often get into arguments because I would share things that would happen during my day. Things that had irritated me or I just needed to share because I needed to just get it off of my chest. The friction would usually start when Gary would put on his “Mr. Fix-It” hat and try to tell me what I “should” do. When he did this, it made me feel small, diminished as a person because it gave me the impression that he didn’t think I could figure out a solution on my own or that he didn’t think I was capable of making decisions for myself. Because I trusted him, I would open up my deepest thought simply looking for some validation of my feelings or thoughts. However, the discussions often ended with marital arguments, hurt feelings and a general loss of mutual trust. Can any of you relate?

Who are your Jethro’s slide?

Who are your Jethro’s?

John Grey was our Jethro. Because, he taught us that this was just miscommunication due to socialization differences between women and men. Men usually talk and offer solutions to one another. Women, however, usually talk to one another to validate feeling and perspectives or simply release stress. Women don’t usually want solutions we just want to be heard. Put the two communication styles together without understanding there are different objectives and it can result in miscommunication and relational injury. Gary and I learned we needed to stop doing one thing and start doing something different that day. If we wanted to stop hurting each other, we needed to start making some decisions to change some habits or patterns in our life. We had to chose to stop, putting “Mr. Fix it” hat on and we need to start clarify what we were wanting from each other in our conversations in order to avoid potential conflicts in the future.

Now, if we hadn’t stopped what we were doing and been willing to take advice from someone else. I hate to think what might have happened to our relationship down the road. I don’t think we would have been a marital statistic but you can never really know for sure what might have happened. I do believe our future was shaped for the better that day. It may have seemed like a small change at the time, but small changes can have huge impact. It can mean the difference between having a story we want to tell or instead having a story of regret and remorse.

Let’s pause for a moment and meditate on this Jethro idea for a minute. Jethro loved his son-in-law, Moses. He love his daughter and grandchildren too. Though, the Bible doesn’t tell us this. I can imaging that at some point while Moses family was visiting Jethro without him being present. There were moments that the wife and or kids expressed some concerns or frustration with the weight and work load of Moses’ average work day. It had to be exhausting for everyone. Maybe Moses is thinking, I will send the family on a vacation without me and when they get back they will feel better and be happy. Plus, it will probably make me feel better to because won’t have them making demands of my time and that might feel like a vacation because I can at least rest while I am at home. People who work a lot can often make excuses like this to themselves. They like to feel important, valuable or needed. They think they are serving their family but the family would sometimes be better off if they would just stop long enough to really see what the family might really need.

Have you ever had

Gary & I were fortunate, because we found our own Jethro by accident, through the words of someone we have never crossed paths with. Moses was fortunate because he respected Jethro and was able to recognize Jethro’s critical words were spoken out of love and concern for Moses and the people. Their pattern of living had given birth to something habitual and unhealthy for all of them. Jethro sees, from the perspective of an outsider, that they have begun to exclude God from this part of their story. They claimed to be God’s people and trusted God’s literal word but lacked the living God’s participation in the smallest details of their life. And were like children, not knowing how to take care of themselves. The result was masses of people gathering around a judge, Moses, who would listen and interpret God’s word apparently without first consulting the one who had given the words in the first place. The result was a huge backlog of legal cases and people who became so dependent on Moses that they couldn’t work out their problems on their own. Everyone was stressed and unsettled. Moses was worn out and the people were probably stressed and unhappy too.

What about you? Can you think of one thing that you are doing that is not good for your life? Has a Jethro in your life called you out on it? If you don’t have a Jethro and you know there is something you need to change and you know what it is I would like to tell you something, you can stop carrying that burden all alone. In fact, why don’t you take a moment and write it down on a prayer request card and put it in one of our prayer boxes. I would be happy to pray over it with you. If you would like me to contact you, put your name and a way to contact you on the card and I would be willing to pray with you and listen. I can ‘t promise that I will know the right thing to do but I can help lighten the load by sharing the burden with your.

The most important thing you might be able to do is just make a commitment to asking God to help you stop doing or help you recognize what it is that is not helping you tell the story you want to tell. However, you will, at some point, have to make a commitment to stop doing what is not helpful to your future story once you recognize it. That can still be difficult, as the old saying goes, “old habits, die hard.”

It was a very different time wasn’t it! You could go to church on Sunday and you could go out to eat breakfast or lunch afterward but most of ythe other stores; stores like Target, Walmart, Dillard’s…They were all closed on Sunday and there were rarely any sporting events, at least where I lived. We didn’t have football, basketball, soccer, volleyball or baseball practices or games on Sunday. No, Sundays were for rest, spending time with friends and family and spending time learning God’s word. That has all changed today, once the law was lifted. Everything started competing for the free time we once had on Sunday. Now, we have to work very hard to get time to rest and rarely are we able to get together with our family and friends because we all have different schedules now too. I have come to believe it has led to so some serious physical, mental and social ills today not having a designated day for rest.

I don’t know about you but as I listen to this passage. I look around at our religious institutions, our judicial courts, politics and approaches to legal issues and I can’t help but think. God please send us some Jethro’s! We are tired. What we are doing isn’t working and what we have been doing for so long has become so habitual that we have become blind to ourselves and our habits. We have claimed your name as the foundation of our faith, the foundation of our policies but we refuse to let you clarify what it means and instead cling to our own understanding. Please, send us Jethro’s who will point us back to you and your living presence. Send us Jethro’s who will remind us that we are trying to do your work for you rather than helping you accomplish your will.

Jesus told us that Sabbath was created for man; not man for the Sabbath. He means God gave us a gift but so often we squander the gifts offered to us by making oppressive laws. Some may have thought the Blue Laws were oppressive. However, from another perspective, if we are not disciplined or listen to God’s directive’s about how to be holy then we miss out on the “good gifts” God has prepared for us. For example, God tells us in Genesis that it is not good for men or women to be alone. We need others around us to help us, encourage us and share life with us. In , God speaks directly to Moses so that he can lead the people of Isreal not only out of Egypt towards freedom but also how to be a holy nation and fulfill their purpose.

In this passage, Moses tells the Israelites,

“ On the first day you shall have a holy assembly, and another holy assembly on the seventh day; no work at all shall be done on them, except what must be eaten by every person, that alone may be prepared by you.” (NASB)

On the first day you shall have a holy assembly, and another holy assembly on the seventh day; no work at all shall be done on them, except what must be eaten by every person, that alone may be prepared by you.

Have you ever considered what might happen if we didn’t take on doing more but rather we simply stopped doing things that aren’t good for our lives or maybe the lives of others around whom we live?

The truth is sometimes we can’t really know the impact of something so simple until we do stop. I have this philosophy for my life. I call it my secret shaker identity because. The Shakers were a Christian sect that got there name from they were Quakers who had a leaning towards dancing and shaking during worship. I am not a Shaker in that rite but I had tried to apply their approach to my living spaces. They believed that the items in their homes should be simple, efficient and promote serenity and order. This belief lead to a whole genre call Shaker style in the furniture world. In applying rule and practice too my own life, I try to avoid clutter in my home. If I don’t enjoy it, if it steals my time from things that give my life peace or joy, like having to dust a bunch of tchotchkes or distracting me from more important things. I try to get rid of it or never bring it home. So, if it takes up a lot of space or doesn’t do more than one thing or bring a measurable benefit to my peace and happiness. It is labeled as a ‘thief’ because it steals my joy, and steals my peace. A difficult thing to do sometimes in this consumer driven world we live in today.

A consumer mindset thinks we might missing out on something if we don’t at least trying it. However, we often fail to realize that choosing to try or do something might cost us something too! When we stop dong something , a whole chain of effects can happen. If we fast or cease from reading Facebook or playing a favorite electronic game for a week, we might suddenly realize that before we were overwhelmed by life. We might suddenly discover we have more time to enjoy things that have more value to our life and as a result our stress level or general sense of urgency decreases. Before, we might not have had time for family or friends but now that we have stopped doing something, you might find that your relationships get better or grow deeper because not only are you investing more time into those relationships but you are just easier to be around. You are more peaceful and you are not worrying as much. Sometimes, one small change leads to big transformations. Small seemingly unimportant decisions can have significant influence on our lives.

“It is not enough” slide

It is not enough to know God’s word and be around people who know God’s word. We need to be able to apply God’s instructions to our lives. Mature Christians practice discernment and are able to live in peace with each other without having to look to the Moses of our day to “Fix it” for us. Imagine what might have happened if Moses had not listed to his father-in-law’s advice. What might have happened if he continued to overwhelm himself and the people. What could have happened?

He could eventually had a nervous breakdown. Maybe he would have awoken one morning and just not been able to get out of bed. Resentment might have started to develop in his heart because God had given him this task and instead of spending time with his family and visiting others he was tied down to working with people who couldn’t manage life without him. He might have lost his family. Abandoned the people in the desert leaving thousands to die. Can you imagine the cost to Moses or the cost the Israelites might have paid. The story we learned might have been very different. It might have been a story we didn’t want to tell.

What Do you need to STOP!

Last week I asked you a question. What does God want you to want?

Does God want you to be more focused on your family?

Does God want you to grow spiritually?

Does God want you to get your finances under control?

Does God want you to take care of your body?

Be more involved with your children?

What Do you need to STOP? slide here

Today I ask you this,

What do you need to STOP? In light of the story God wants you to want, what do you need to STOP. What decision do you need to make in order to tell the right story tomorrow?

I remind you that Jesus is our model. By looking at Jesus’ life we have a living breathing reminder of a life lived well. A life lived in God’s will. A perfect life lived out under the direction of the primary Author of this grand story. By fixing our eyes on him, we too can move closer to living a life story that is worth telling. A life continually moving towards sanctification and perfection as John Wesley would say.

This isn’t about behavior modification. It is about spiritual transformation. Good intentions do not manifest change. Good choices and focus does. It is the direction of our life not the intentions of our minds which determine the ending of our story.

If you are willing, Jesus can help you turn the page and lead you towards a story worth telling. Don’t try to do it alone. Look for the Jethros’ and those who reflect God’s image. Give them authority to speak into your life. Ask them to pray with you.

Stop doing things that keep you from living a life you want to tell.

Let us pray!

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