Sermon Tone Analysis

I. Introduction

Sadly, this is the last class of the Core seminar on Discipling.

I hope that you are leaving this class more excited about discipling others than you were coming in.

In this final week, we want touch on two final subjects: (1) the dangers of discipling, both to the discipler and the disciple; and (2) the great joy that God gives us in discipling others.

II.

Seven Dangers of Discipling

We are going to consider seven dangers for discipling relationships.

As we walk through these dangers, think specifically of a discipling relationship you have and consider where these attitudes have encroached.

What are negative characteristics that discipling could cultivate in the heart of a discipler?

Let’s start by considering four dangers that discipling poses to the Discipler.

Self-importance

Problem: We can place ourselves on a spiritual pedestal.

We see ourselves as important because we are meeting with and influencing a younger Christian.

We are tempted to think that through our prowess, gifts, strategies, time, and energy, we have changed the life of another person.

We might attribute changes in their actions/perspective/theology to our work.

Correction: The apostle Paul saw tremendous changes in the lives of others through his work, but look at how he describes himself.

“For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.

No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me“ ().

When we are tempted to think our hard work has transformed people, we are reminded that it is God’s grace that changes people.

Remember that both you and your friend are sinners, and it is purely by God’s grace that you both came to love Christ.

God’s grace had a clear effect on your life.

So also, God will use you as a means to point younger believers to Christ, but ultimately it is not you, but God’s grace, that transforms them.

As disciplers, we need to follow Paul’s example and remind ourselves that our strength, teaching, and wisdom come from God. Ref. : “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

Self-reliance

Problem: We can get so caught up in our discipling relationship that we forget to turn to God for answers.

We are quick to give answers right out of our hip pockets.

We are so preoccupied with (maybe overwhelmed by) the nitty, gritty details, sins, and struggles of horizontal relationships that we don’t turn vertically to look for the grace and strength that is meant to equip us.

We forget to ask, “What is God doing in their life?”

Correction: As disciplers, we need to turn to God quickly and to rely on Him.

Be slow to give “answers,” quick to listen, and quick to turn to God in prayer.

We are made to be dependent on God.

As a discipler, consistently remind yourself of your need for God, over and above everything else in this world, including yourself.

Ask yourself questions like: Am I sharing my own opinion too quickly?

Have I taken time to search the Scripture to see what God might say in this situation?

Self-reliance can promote quick and less careful responses to our discipling friend’s struggles.

Reliance on God promotes more careful and Christ-centered responses to our friend’s difficulties.

Don’t be program-minded

Problem: Discipling is a process, not a program.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our discipling agenda that we overlook some of the immediate and general struggles that our friends have.

Be flexible with immediate needs that come up!

Or, don’t be so prideful about your “original plan” that you fail to put down a book that is simply not helping your friend.

Correction1: Don’t let your concern with implementing your agenda cause you to be unaware of what is going on in your discipling friend’s life.

Don’t start meetings by always launching into your pre-set discipling agenda.

Be willing to tackle unexpected crisis or day-to-day struggles that might arise in their life.

But realize that a balance needs to be struck: be willing to adapt to problems that arise, but don’t be so flexible that you’re changing topics every single week.

Be discerning about how to get through material you want them to learn, while at the same time being flexible enough to address struggles that your discipling friend needs to sort through.

Correction2: If the material does not seem to be helpful, then don’t be so prideful that you are unwilling to consider a different course of action.

Demonstrate humility by reviewing your meetings together, from time to time, to see how helpful they are.

Sense of failure

Problem: A discipling relationship isn’t going as you had hoped.

Maybe you don’t see any growth, or you see a friend wrapped up, seemingly inescapably, in a particular sin.

Maybe you don’t get along well together.

All these things can be discouraging, and you might feel like you‘ve failed in the discipling relationship.

For some, you might even come to the point where we are so disappointed in ourselves that you begin to doubt God’s ability to work through you.

Correction1: Consider that you are only one means of God’s work in your discipling friend’s life.

When you disciple within the context of a church, there are usually multiple means (other relationships, personal study, preaching in the worship services, core seminars, etc.) that provide teaching and grounding in the Word.

Consider also the promise of God’s Word that it will not go out void ().

You can’t expect that you will always see immediate and tangible fruit in your discipling.

And, don’t let a lack of tangible fruit cause you think you are doing no good.

Trust that God’s Word will bear fruit.

Try to be less focused on yourself, and more focus on God’s Word as a means of change.

Pray that God would use you to minister his Word, and pray for a godly attitude about discipling.

Correction2: Be willing to encourage them to meet up with someone else.

There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship if it is just not working.

The kingdom of God does begin or end with you.

If God is not using you to help this person grow, be humble enough to admit it and encourage them to find someone else.

There are also several dangers that discipling poses to those we are discipling.

Inappropriate Intimacy (in cross-gender discipling)

Problem: Studying together, sharing struggles and praying together presents a very close setting.

Discipling someone of the opposite sex can lead to inappropriate intimacy between a man and a woman.

Correction: In short, in-depth discipling with people of the opposite sex should be avoided (unless you’re married to that person).

If there is someone of the opposite sex that needs discipling, look in your church to find someone who is a mature believer and the same gender as the person.

Dependency on the discipler

Problem: After meeting for a while, your friend might become dependent on you for Bible study, prayer, recognition of sin, knowledge of the truth, etc.

Correction: As disciplers, we need to encourage them to build up Christian disciplines and knowledge for themselves, that they might have a personal walk with Christ.

For things that you do together, like Scripture study and prayer, maybe have them teach you what the passage says.

That forces them to learn how to study and teach the text to someone else.

What you don’t want is someone who so dependent on you that they stop living faithfully after they stop meeting with you.

What happens if you (the discipler) were suddenly hit by a bus today?

Would your discipling friend continue to pursue faithfulness, or would they stop because you are no longer around?

What you want is to produce people who are in eager pursuit of these things (Bible study, prayer, recognition of sin, knowledge of the truth, etc.) long after the discipling relationship has ended.

Trusting you too easily – taking your word for truth without thinking

Problem: Your friend might turn to you for the truth without considering it themselves.

You notice they never raise questions to you, or they always take what they read in Christian literature to be the truth.

Only the Bible is the inspired Word of God.

At times, your friend might go to the extreme and feel an exclusive allegiance to you.

Correction: When you know that someone has put a high degree of trust in you, be very careful about the example you set and the advice you give.

Emphasize to them that their accountability for the decisions they make is to God alone, and they must seek his will and not yours.

Encourage them to always examine your conversation in light of Scripture and to make Scripture the golden standard by which they compare everything.

Also, encourage their friendships with other Christians—especially those outside your own social circle.

In all these areas, we should proceed with caution, but also proceed boldly, trusting and depending on God.

III.

The Joys of Discipling

1. Cultivate a taste for the pleasure of discipling.

Despite what we may know about the dangers associated with discipling relationships, we must remember that discipling is a great joy!

It is a pleasure to be used by God as a source of spiritual encouragement that produces significant and lasting fruit in the life of another human being.

Is this a pleasure for which you have cultivated a taste and enjoyment?

Many people spend a considerable amount of time working to acquire a taste for things like wine or caviar or a dozen other things that are of limited or no worth.

Have you worked to acquire a taste, a capacity for enjoyment in things or great worth, even eternal worth?