A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Intro - A picture is worth a thousand words as they say. During some of the most beautiful, painful, celebratory times photographers have captured images that encapsulate all that was occurring at the time.

Insert picture slides

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Intro cont. - what does that image look like? What does it represent? Pain, heartache, joy, boredom? What does it represent versus what it was meant to represent?

The Ideal

The picture of marriage is meant to represent and depict the relationship between Jesus and the Church

This is its divine purpose. Always has been and always will be.

It is not meant to symbolize oppression, selfish fulfillment, romantic love, etc. Although it can display many things to us, just as when a photographer takes a picture to capture a moment, it is meant to convey a specific message to us.

To distort that message would be no different than me taking one of those iconic pictures and saying that the picture of the man jumping from the building during 9/11 is meant to convey the perils of skydiving without a parachute.

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 5:1 ESV

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Ephesians 5:1

“Imitate” is where we get the Greek word for “mimic” and “mime” from. Meaning, if no words were spoken and people looked at your marriage, what would they think....not of you but of God?

Ephesians 5:

TR: Since there are many areas that bring out this depiction of God in marriage today we’re going to focus on two…the first is communication.

Communication

What would our relationship with God be like if He communicated to us or we to him in the same way that we do with our spouses?

I believe this is why many of us will struggle with prayer because we already are poor communicators in a earthly marriage, how than are we going to communicate in a heavenly one?

Let’s look at some of the ways Jesus communicated:

John 4:7–26 ESV

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”

John 4:8–26 ESV

(For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”

John 4:8

John 4:7-

First note that Jesus affirmed her ability to help him and her value.

Jesus being a Jew asking a Samaritan for a drink was unheard of because they typically despised each other.

Second, Jesus recognized her deep spiritual need, not her physical need and desired to fulfill it.

Jesus is a grown man able to draw his own water yet his concern and expression was for her.

Third, Jesus communicated truth but not with the purpose of embarrassment, demeaning or punishment in regard to the lady’s relationships

Lastly, Jesus communicated a unifying purpose…worshipping God in spirit and in truth.

Listen, when we communicate with our spouses, we must be like Jesus.

Does your husband/wife know that they have value to you? That they can aid you in some way that you need and desire?

When you listen to your spouse communicate is it for the purpose of meeting the expressed need or a deeper need?

Devaney listening to my need for affirmation and giving me post it notes to affirm me. Although my expressed struggle was failure, she communicated to my true struggle which was affirmation.

What’s crazy is this isn’t just when what is communicated is good but even when what is communicated is ulterior motives.

, Jesus was moved with compassion by the needs of the people even though the main reason why they were there was to be healed and fed.

He then proceeded to teach them.

Do the words that come out of your mouth proceed from a place of compassion or frustration?

If you find that there is poor communication in your marriage it more than likely is because there is the presence of fear!

1 John 4:18 ESV

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:

If your spouse does not believe that they abide in your love than they will not communicate with you!

If they have come to know your love and you their’s than communication will happen.

How do you communicate that your spouse abides in your love??? This is the greatest aspect of God’s communication!

The thing we struggle with the most is believing that God loves the mess out of us, he died for us, cherishes us, is proud of us and delights in us.

We then turn around and give that same struggle to those that are nearest to us. In doing so, we chip away at that image of Christ & His church.

You can’t have good communication if you’re abusive, manipulative, cold, or selfish in how you do it. Because that produces fear in your spouse. Not always a physical fear of safety but a fear that when they come to you it’ll be more punishment than pleasure.

TR: When God honoring communication is occurring the natural result is increased levels of intimacy

Intimacy

Intimacy is a natural outgrowth of effective communication

However, let me set out something regarding intimacy at the forefront and then unpack it.

To be known but not desired is to feel exposed

To be desired but not known is to feel exploited

Intimacy is something that is private and personal. We have a sincere problem with intimacy in our society.

This is one of the things that God wanted to get across in Exodus 20:4-6

With the advent of social media compounded by the intellectual and physical promiscuity we model, people rather than things have become common.

Our bodies are thought to be for common use. Our moments, shared in the touch of a button are common. Music speaks of the taking of life, having sex, and treatment of women as common objects.

Is it any wonder that we treat our spouses as common?

Yet God’s love for you is not common. This is the reason for boundaries in it

Exodus 20:4–6 ESV

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

From the outset, the intimacy with God was meant to be unique.

In the modern day sexual revolution, we are familiar with the phrase “love is love”. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are perimeters on who you can be intimate with because “common intimacy” is an oxymoron.

Our goal, is to communicate with God in such a way where we become vulnerable to His ways and provision.

We trust Him. Then we turn outwardly to our spouses and reflect that same dynamic.

However, first we must know our spouse and convey to our loved one that they in fact are known.

John 1:47–51 ESV

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

John 1:47

Nathaneal was surprised that Jesus knew him, knew his character and that HE WAS SEEN! Not just visibly but inwardly!

Now this “seeing” alone could have left Nathanael feeling exposed. “How does this man know this about me?”

Yet, Jesus later calls this man to his side. He desired his presence!

Have you called your spouse to your side? is clear that the bride is KNOWN and is DESIRED!!

Listen, if Jesus had called you and yet knew nothing about you I’d come with some suspicion. “What does he want from me?”

The reality is God knows you AND wants you! That’s what makes the Gospel powerful!

Now image that with you spouse! To be known AND desired! Is that what they believe your marriage is about?

In addition, not just desired as everyone is but in a special way. In a way that only they receive.

To be desired and not known is to be exploited. This is the essence of pornography and promiscuity.

There is a unique love that only we receive from God. Does your spouse get that from you?

Intimacy to such a degree that even yielding of our own bodies to one another isn’t difficult. cf.

What image does your marriage depict?

One that shows God honoring communication resulting in God glorifying intimacy?

Conclusion