Manipulation

Cutting the Srings of Control

by June Hunt

Attempts to control our own world begin with the first breath of life.

A baby’s natural cry, called the “cry for attention,” represents the first efforts at getting our needs met.

Over the years, children can learn to use manipulative tears to get their way within their little circle of life.

As we grow into adults, we develop highly refined personal skills for meeting our needs by taking matters into our own hands and manipulating people and events around us.

These methods of control are so deeply ingrained that we lack personal insight into our own deceptive behavior.

Most of us are more aware of the manipulation of others than of our own “string-pulling.”

But maturity demands that we lay bare before God our need to control and that we begin the process of trusting the One who is in ultimate control.

Psalm 20:7 ESV

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

I. DEFINITION

A. What Is Manipulation?

• Manipulation is the art of controlling people or circumstances by indirect, unfair or deceptive means, especially to one’s own advantage.

• Those who are manipulated allow others to have excessive control over them—the control that God alone should have.

“You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3)

B. What Is Persuasion?

• Persuasion is the act of convincing people by urging, reasoning and appealing to one’s mind.

• Those who are persuaded are won over by logical arguments of sound reasoning.

Q “What is the difference between manipulation and persuasion?”

Someone who manipulates uses emotional means to get their way.

Someone who persuades uses logical means to achieve their goal.

1 Peter 3:15 ESV

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

C. What Are Some Biblical Illustrations?

Manipulation

With his great God-given strength, Samson could have delivered Israel from the oppression of the enemy—the Philistines.

But he fell in love with a prostitute.

At the request of the Philistine rulers who wanted to capture him, she began to cajole Samson into telling her the secret of his strength.

After three failed attempts, she finally said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?” (Judges 16:15).

What manipulation! Ultimately, she wore him down with her words, nagging and prodding him, until he told her the truth (Judges 16:16–17).

“Then the Philistines seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza.

Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding in the prison” (Judges 16:21).

Persuasion

A beautiful example of godly persuasion is the story of Esther.

When Haman plotted to murder all the Jews, Esther risked her own life to make an appeal to the king for the safety of her people.

Putting her trust in God, she spent three days fasting and praying.

Then approaching the king with the right attitude, she gave a logical explanation of what would happen if Haman were allowed to fulfill his plans.

“If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life—this is my petition.

And spare my people—this is my request.

For I and my people have been sold for destruction and slaughter and annihilation.

If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet, because no such distress would justify disturbing the king” (Esther 7:3–4).

The king became so angry, he left in a rage and proceeded to have Haman hanged. (See the Book of Esther, chapters 1–7.)