THE POWER OF TRUTH

Truth is a Powerful thing. Today we are looking at how to Counter Reactive Triggers with Truth.

We are using the Word “TRUTH” as an ACROSTIC to help as a way of remembering the tools and concepts in our training.

The “T” in truth stands for TRIGGER.

The “T” in truth stands for TRIGGER.

TRIGGER

The “R” in truth stands for:

RECKLESS THINKING / REACTIVE BEHAVIOR

The “U” in truth stands for:

UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF MY TRIGGER

The second “T” in truth stands for:

TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE- PUTTING THEM UNDER SUBMISSION TO GOD

The “H” in truth stands for:

HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION

In each area we will address:

How the Trigger can potentially play out with the Counselee

what would be some good Action Steps / Counselee Goals to help manage the Trigger so that it does not play out in a destructive way.

In addition:

address how each area addresses different components of our Counseling Model.

TRIGGER

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

o Quick and unexpected reaction to an outside source where the person’s emotional response is inappropriate for what the situation merits.

Ex/ The Daughter gets frustrated with her mom and walks away to cool down. Mom PANICS! She follows her daughter down the hall, urging her to come back to work through the problem right now.

Mom is certain that she has pushed things too far and the relationship with her daughter is ruined.

Her fear is overwhelming her, and so she bangs on the bedroom door sobbing because she is sure her daughter is never going to speak to her again.

Ex/ The Husband has been cheated on by his wife 5 years prior.

They have been to counseling, and she has repented and worked hard to earn back his trust and restore the broken relationship.

He sees her texting on her phone and walk around the corner.

He is certain she is cheating on him again and that He is “Never going to be enough for her”.

He feels despair and thinks, “I should just give up on this, I am not what she wants”

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o Ex/

o Ex/

IT IS NON-INTENTIONAL?

o This is often one of those “Auto-Pilot” moments, where the person is acting on the emotion without necessarily realizing what they are really feeling.

INITIALLY, Triggers are not places that a person has a lot of insight and awareness. THEY AREN’T THINKING -they are REACTING

Ex/ demonstration of the ZERO SPACE between feeling and reacting.

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§ Ex/ demonstration of the ZERO SPACE between feeling and reacting.

COUNSELEE GOALS:

(TRIGGER)

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Slow Down.

o Take a deep Breath

o We need time to listen and reflect BEFORE we ACT.

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Invite God’s Perspective, Wisdom and Healing into the moment.

IDENTITY - Open heart to allow God to give you what you need to both Heal & Deal.

HONESTY - before God

o Pray and talk to God about what they are feeling.

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Commit to Seeking Truth regarding the situation.

o We cannot find truth if we don’t take the time for seeking it

o We cannot find the truth if we are too busy reacting in our emotions.

reminds us:

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” ESV

A person who is triggered often REACTS IN ANGER

As their CC you need to encourage them that their reactivity often “does not produce the righteousness that God desires”

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RECKLESS THINKING/REACTIVE BEHAVIOR

HONESTY - are they open to seeing unhealthy patterns in themself?

IDENTITY - What we think about ourselves or a situation can often NOT be what God thinks.

The more our IDENTITY is in IMMERSED IN GOD, the more equipped we are to see the TRUTH.

RISK TAKING

So, When we are Triggered -If we DO NOT PAUSE for self-reflection or rational examination...

CAPABLE-

· Without self-reflection or rational examination, the person goes into a reactive state.

we automatically move into a reactive state.

This can include:

RECKLESS THINKING

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Reckless Internal Dialogues

· These are often not truth-based

(biblical truth or even reality truth)

· This can include Toxic Thoughts of Self & Others –

Reckless Internal Dialogues

“I am worth nothing “

(see Daybreak form)

“You don’t deserve forgiveness”

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Inaccurate Beliefs

Inaccurate Beliefs about the situation that may be

over-exaggerated or inappropriate to the current situation

“You have NEVER loved me!”

“This is an Impossible and Hopeless Situation”

Extreme & Absolute words often reflect a person who has been triggered

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Inaccurate Beliefs

REACTIVE BEHAVIOR

REACTIVE BEHAVIOR = Reckless Risk taking/Rigid Risk Taking

We are going to look at just SOME examples of Reactive Behaviors

Most of these are represented Under Communication as:

(Active Fight Talk) & (Passive Fight talk)

REACTIVE BEHAVIOR

Withdraw

Withdraw Is for many a way to self-protect

Withdraw

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Defensive Posturing

Defensive Posturing

The person is no longer listening but looking

internally for justification

justification or externally to blame.

or externally to blame.

Aggressive Push-back

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Relief/Escape

COUNSELEE GOAL

Commit to Not Act until they better Understand.

Take a time out from the Triggering Situation.

Aggressive Push-back

(Active Fight Talk) & (Passive Fight talk)

This is the “fight” part of the “fight or flight” reaction.

“If I can push you away or control you with my anger than I feel safe”

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Relief/Escape

· Addiction (Capable - am I capable to face this?)

· Denial (Honesty- can I be honest about my feelings)

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COUNSELEE GOAL:

(RECKLESS THINKING/REACTIVE BEHAVIOR)

Commit to Not Act until they better Understand.

Identity & Capable - I only have self-control to this degree when I rely on the HOLY SPIRIT.

Fruit of the Spirit is FULLY ACTIVE in this Building Block Step!

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Take a time out from the Triggering Situation.

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UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF MY TRIGGER

HEALTHY RISK TAKING

HONESTY

“What are common Sources of Triggers?”

A familiar feeling or experience of the Past in my Present

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Unresolved Pain

(Denial / Honesty)

· Ex/ never dealt with loss of my marriage and now I am unwilling to let my heart love again.

I get reactive and sabotage any relationship that gets too close.

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Resolved Pain that has been INVITED to be REAWAKENED

· We may have done the work to resolve past pain:

Counseling

forgiving another

Grief journey

And then another similar thing triggers us to remind of us past pain.

anyone here have something come up that tempts us to resurrect a past that we have been committed to heal?

Addiction?

Loss of a Loved one?

Guilt?

The fear of Betrayal?

Sometime these moments require us to Forgive ourselves or another again.

or it’s

· Satan’s attempt to Condemn us again

o “As far as the East….

o “There is therefore no condemnation…

TAKING EVERY THOUGH CAPTIVE… UNDER SUBMISSION TO GOD.

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COUNSELEE GOALS:

(UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF MY TRIGGER)

Prayerfully ask God to Reveal what is needed for understanding and healthy choices.

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Take a step back for Reflection.

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Reflection requires: HONESTY

Asking Questions can help reveal more clearly what is the SOURCE of the TRIGGER?

“What am I feeling right now?”

“Have I felt this way in my past?”

“Are my feelings telling me I need to deal with something?”

– a reawakening of something unresolved?

“Are my feelings firmly rooted in the reality of TODAY?”

As the Counselee discovers some of the things they are feeling and believing about themselves and the situation, they must ask…

“Do my Feelings, Thoughts and Beliefs line up with what God says?”

This is a Beautiful SEGWAY into....

TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE- PUTTING THEM UNDER SUBMISSION TO GOD

ACTION PLAN

Examining My Thoughts

2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV

casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

the verse BEFORE it REMINDS US -that we are at WAR and are to use God’s Weapons to battle our “Strongholds”

2 Corinthians 10:4 NKJV

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,

It is VITAL to REMEMBER that...

Just because I think it or Feel it does not mean that it is TRUE.

Satan is the Father of LIES.

· I assume that every thought that enters my head is TRUTH.

Ex/ I am struggling to get the new computer program at work

- It REAWAKENS the feelings of inadequacy I had as a child, and I instantly

start thinking disparaging & defeating thoughts

· Do my thoughts line up with what God thinks?

Ex/ Does God see me as Dumb or Inadequate? NO!

My IDENTITY is Founded in being a VALUED & LOVED CHILD of GOD.

That does not change based on my mistakes or EVEN how other’s see me.

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We must remember that Satan is out Enemy and he will do anything to twist and distort our thoughts

John 10:10a NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

When I am triggered my perspective is distorted.

· My Past blurs with my Present.

EX/Husband’s belief that he is “Never going to be enough for her” is reminiscent of never being able to measure up to the expectations of his father.

EX/Mom’s thought that because her daughter locked herself in her room that she is NEVER going to talk to her again…Feels just like when her own mom got mad and wouldn’t talk to her for days.

· Ex/ The Adult Criticized as a child = interprets corrective and honest feedback like “you are telling me I am dumb or inadequate”.

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When I am triggered, I take my Eyes off of God and place them on my Circumstances.

Ex/ Peter

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Matthew 14:25–31 NIV

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:25-31

Matthew 14:15–31 ESV

15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. 22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When we are TRIGGERED, and REACTIVE, it is easy to take our EYES OFF of GOD and on to our CIRCUMSTANCE.

Matt

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COUNSELEE GOALS:

(TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE- PUTTING THEM UNDER SUBMISSION TO GOD)

Accept Responsibility for your Thoughts.

ACTION PLAN

HONESTY

Genesis 4:2–7 ESV

And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”

NIV

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Ex/ Cain: warned by God to take responsibility and focus his mind on the right things. He chose to think on the wrong things =>anger => jealously => murder

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TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE Means...

Commit to the RENEWAL of your MIND and not just BEHAVIOR CHANGE.

This is the difference between a Counselee who

DEEPLY DESIRES TO HAVE A LIFE TRANSFORMATION

vs.

One who just wants the IMMEDIATE PROBLEM SOLVED.

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Romans 12:2 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Capture Disabling and Unhealthy Thoughts and lay them at the foot of the Cross.

ACTION PLAN

What does this look like?

Remember our Husband who saw his wife texting?

Ex/ The man struggling with feelings of inadequacy and fear:

His INTERNAL THOUGHTS say: “I will Never be good enough”.

Those Thoughts show up when -his wife is texting = fear

Those Thoughts show up when he is struggling with the new computer system = inadequate

Those Thoughts berate him and discourage him

IDENTITY in Christ is HUGE at this point!

He ACTIVELY chooses to challenge the Destructive Thoughts.

He “Captures” the Old “stinking thinking” and labels it.

“This is Auto-Pilot” - “it is NOT True Today”

He CHALLENGES Old beliefs with Scriptures of TRUTH.

what scriptures come to mind that you might give this man to meditate on?

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HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION

· What Does God’s Word have to say about my situation?

HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION

HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION

First we must be willing to seek God’s Truth

Our temptation to figure things out with our own logic (HONESTY)

Ex/ “I know exactly what he meant by that comment, I’ve been down this road before. The ONLY way he will learn is if I cut him off”

That does not represent a heart that is open to God’s Truth

Instead it sounds more like...

FIGHT TALK/ assumicide

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Proverbs 3:5–7 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

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Seeking in Prayer and Listening

Teaching your Counselees to settle down and be still and listen.

Next we must Know God’s Truth.

Teaching your Counselees to settle down and be still and listen.

We cannot Know God’s Truth if we are not In the Word

Proverbs 9:10

Proverbs 9:10 ESV

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

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COUNSELEE GOALS:

(HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION)

Be in God’s Word and Surrounded by Godly Wisdom

Friends & Church

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Choose to Focus on the Best Things

· Context: verse before is about bringing your anxieties before God and giving them to Him.

1. · Satan loves to take our Triggers and..

Distract us from God’s best for our lives.

Distort God’s truth in the Situation.

2. When my mind is consumed with all the negative thoughts that have been awakened by the TRIGGER,

then there is NO ROOM for the GOOD THINGS God wants to pour into me.

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· The Context for this next verse:

passage leading into it is about bringing your anxieties before God and giving them to Him.

Then He says… (read scripture)

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Philippians 4:8 ESV

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Phil

· Context: verse before is about bringing your anxieties before God and giving them to Him.

This is NOT about IGNORING real issues…it is about replacing Satan’s lies and distortions with the TRUTH.

Our next goal for HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION is....

Search for God in the situation & Trust in His Promises.

IDENTITY - knowing God loves me, and desires to Grow me to be more like Christ.

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Romans 8:28 NIV

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, so as to not be distracted or deceived by the immediate circumstances.

As our attention is turned towards our Abba Father,

He is in Control…Not..

Our Emotions

Our Pain

The Present Circumstances

Our past History

Satan’s Distortions and Lies

Our past History

It is in that Place where He may call us to change in some way

then we must decide...

Will I COURAGEOUSLY OBEY?

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Courageously Obey all God asks of you.

ACTION PLAN

Ex/ God convicts you to ask for forgiveness or that you need to forgive another.

THE POWER of God’s TRUTH has the means to free us from:

Lies

Stongholds

Reactivity

When we apply HIS TRUTH to our TRIGGERS we can be SET FREE.

T

R

U

T

H

HANDOUT: Little TRUTH Cards (cheat notes to remind of the goals in applying Truth

TRIGGER : Slow Down - Invite God to Reveal His Truth to What is Happening.

RECKLESS THINKING / REACTIVE BEHAVIOR: Take a Time Out – Choose to Reflect vs. React

UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF MY TRIGGER: Consider if the Trigger is linked to an unresolved area from the past.

TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE- PUTTING THEM UNDER SUBMISSION TO GOD: Examine Thoughts and Beliefs Under the Light of God’s Truth.

HEARING GOD’S TRUTH SPEAK INTO MY SITUATION: Seek God’s Truth - Trust His Promises - Obey His Direction.

Break up into pairs

How might you apply the TRUTH Model as one of the Building Blocks in this persons counseling?

TABLE EXERCISE: A woman comes in asking for help for her “emotions. “ Her family all tell her she has major anxiety and control issues and they are tired of it. She loves her family, but feels constantly hurt by them. She admits to feeling very “overwhelmed and rejected” by them. She tries so hard to keep everyone happy, and then they say and do hurtful things towards her. She feels rejected and unloved. As you look further into it, you discover that she came from an emotionally abuse home. She tells you all of that stuff is in the past, but clearly her “buttons” are being pushed in the present. As you talk further, she tells you that she was often criticized and rejected as a child, and when her husband or adult kids are in disagreement with her now, her feelings remind her of those childhood times. She is in reality, constantly being Triggered. The emotions, beliefs and unresolved pain of her past are now hurting her present situation. How might you apply the TRUTH Model as one of the Building Blocks in her Counseling?

As