Only Human Part Three-Marriage

Introduction

Genesis 2:15-25

Genesis 2:15–25 ESV

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

We are still in our series “Only Human” and we have been asking the question “What does it mean to be human.”

Week One: Created in God’s Image—value and dignity

Week Two: Created Male and Female to complement

When discussing what does it mean to be human, one huge question is how do we relate to each other.

And so its no wonder that one battleground in our world has to do with marriage

Main Idea: God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship and to provide an illustration of our relationship with Him.

God Designed Us to be in Covenant Community

Illustration: Castaway — Wilson the volley ball

We are created as relational beings 

God first made Adam feel the need for a wife.

Adam goes through a rigorous process of naming all of the animals. This included evaluation.

But at the end of it all, “But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.” (Verse 20)

A dog may be man’s best friend, but it could not satisfy Adam’s need for companionship.

So in the midst of this glaring need God creates woman out of Adam.

Genesis 2:21-23

Genesis 2:21–23 ESV

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

So God creates a “helper” that is “suitable” for him.

But in case we think that "helper" makes women somehow weaker, the original Hebrew word, 'ezer, is most often used in the Bible to describe God himself; where humans are weak, God is our helper. In the same way, a woman's call to help and submit is a God-given, feminine strength that Christ himself models. Men, through their masculinity, likewise play a Jesus role in the marriage when loving unconditionally and giving sacrificially.

The woman is said to be "corresponding to him" (NLT, "just right for him").

In the Hebrew this phrase is very precise; it is literally "according to the opposite of him" and means that she corresponds perfectly to him.

We are built to need relationships that complement our characters, passions, and ways of thinking.

As each of us are created as complex yet incomplete reflections of God's image, our genders play a critical role in displaying that image.

What about singleness? Not every person will get married but are still called to be in community with others.

This doesn’t negate the huge need for community and fellowship for every person.

Illustration: Friend who is called to singleness

God Designed Us to be Complementing Companions

Genesis 2:21-22

Genesis 2:21–22 ESV

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

God created Eve “out of a part of Adam’s side”

Here we see the idea of “helper” — God’s perfect design for marriage is for two people to bring together their distinctive genders, personalities, gifts, etc. and complement one another. (Ill. Musical Duet)

The word “helper” in this section is not a demeaning term at all; in the Bible it is used most frequently of God (Psss. 33:20; 70:5; 115:9).  When God helps people it means he does for them what they cannot possibly do for themselves.

“Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.” Matthew Henry

So by implication here and more explicitly later (Ephesians 5:22, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Titus 2:4-5); the man is to be the leader, the “head”. 

Doesn’t mean boss, superior—Illustration: “Beat your wife” 

Why? Men and women (apart from the fall) operate differently and complementary in the world 

“Men and women were created equally in the dignity of their being but differently in the shape of their being.” (Tim Keller) 

But like we stressed last week, it is because of our differences that we can (when redeemed in Christ) complement and enhance what the other lacks.

C.S. Lewis The need for some head follows from the idea that marriage is permanent. Options: 1) always agree; 2) Dissolve the relationship or 3) Tie-breaking authority

Piper’s Illustration: couple’s first date … robbed but she was black belt in martial arts

God Designed Us to Become Cherished Companions

Genesis 2:24-25

Genesis 2:24–25 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

What we see in this verse is God’s design that the man and woman be both “one flesh” and “naked and without shame”

This means utter and total intimacy—not just sexually but in every way. That they would both be exposed and vulnerable and known without judgment or condemnation. — covenant vs. contractural—Illustration: what drew me to Amanda—first time I could just be me.

This is what could be called true companionship

Companionship requires that marriage be a primary relationship. “Leave father and mother”

Companionship requires that marriage be a permanent relationship. “hold fast” means to cling to, to hold to, as bone to skin. It means to be glued to something

Companionship requires that marriage be an exclusive relationship. (“wife” not “wives”)

Conclusion: 

Why would God create us this way? Why create us with a need of other people/ Why not make us exactly the same? Why establish roles of submission and sacrifice? 

It displays to us who God is — eternal relationship; Trinity: equality and diversity; submission and sacrifice

It displays to us the Gospel — Jesus’ submission and sacrifice—Jesus leading in sacrificing himself for the church, the church submitting and giving herself away to Christ (Ephesians 5)