Colossians 3:18-4:1

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Here are several commands regarding the household.

We had just been exhorted to put on Christ-likeness: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (v12)

We were exhorted to bear and forgive one another as we’ve been forgiven in the Lord (v13)

Above all we’re to put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. (v14)

We were told to let the peace of Christ rule our hearts and that we’re to be a people filled with thanksgiving. (v15)

And as the word of Christ takes center stage in our hearts, we begin to teach and admonish one another. (v16)

Seeking to do (in our words and deeds) everything in the Name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through Christ. (v17)

Life after conversion begins in the home. and from 3:17-4:1 7x’s the Lord is mentioned.

So on the job or with your spouse or children, each home is to be centered upon the Lord.

The

The home. That place where anger often surfaces and gratitude most often evaporates.

The place where the things we are called to do in v12-17 are really put to the test.

Anyone can fool people a couple of hours a week by coming to church and putting a smile on etc.

But it’s the home, is where the rubber meets the road.

And it’s husbands and wives who are up first.

vv18-19. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them.

Wives submitting and husbands loving.

Marriage is the doing and the displaying of God.

Please look back to the passage in :

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.

What happens when we point this out to husbands and wives,

that marriage is a model of Christ and the church, we place that marriage firmly on the basis of grace.

Because that is the way Christ took the church to be his bride, by grace alone.

And that is how he sustains his relationship with the church—by grace alone.

This is the glory of marriage, it’s from God, and through God, and to God.

The purpose of human marriage is temporary.

But it’s a pointer to something that is eternal, namely, Christ and the church. And when this age is over, it will vanish into the superior reality to which it points.

eternal, namely, Christ and the church. And when this age is over, it will vanish into the superior reality to which it points.

Jesus said in , For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like angels in heaven.

In the resurrection, the shadow gives way to the reality.

Marriage is a pointer toward the glory of Christ and the church.

But in the resurrection the pointer vanishes into the perfection of that glory.

And as we bring some of what we’ve learned thus far from Colossians into the home, specifically the marriage.

Piper, J. (2014). Sermons from John Piper (2000–2014). Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God.

2:13-14 And when you were dead in trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, he made you alive with him and forgave us all our trespasses. He erased the certificate of debt, with its obligations, that was against us and opposed to us, and has taken it away by nailing it to the cross.

The record of debt that mounts up against us because of our sin God set aside by nailing it to the cross—

Piper, J. (2014). Sermons from John Piper (2000–2014). Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God.

Then, having shown us the basis of God’s forgiveness in the cross, Paul says in 3:13

3:13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.

bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.

In other words, take the grace and forgiveness and justification that you have received vertically through the death of Christ and bend it out horizontally to others.

Specifically, husbands to wives and wives to husbands.

Why the emphasis on forgiving and forbearing rather than, say, an emphasis on romance and enjoying each other? I gave three answers:

1. Because there is going to be conflict based on sin, we need to forgive sin and forbear strangeness, and sometimes you won’t even agree on which is which;

2. Because the hard, rugged work of forgiving and forbearing is what makes it possible for affections to flourish when they seem to have died;

3. Because God gets glory when two very different and very imperfect people forge a life of faithfulness in the furnace of affliction by relying on Christ.

So on the basis of Christ and his sacrifice and having received His forgiveness, we move into marriage.

Piper, J. (2014). Sermons from John Piper (2000–2014). Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God.

v18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

So for wives, “whatever you do” (in v17) “in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Including submitting to your husbands.

Here the word “submit” means to voluntarily “put oneself under” the authority or direction of someone or something else:

Piper, J. (2014). Sermons from John Piper (2000–2014). Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God.

All believers to God (; )

Or His law ()

Or His law (Rom. 8:7)

The church to Christ ()

Jews to God’s righteousness ()

humans to governing authorities (, ; ; );

Christians to their leaders ();

slaves to masters (; );

young men to older men ();

children to their parents ();

wives to their husbands (; ; ; , ).T

To be sure, as the husband loves his wife, he will often, in effect, “put himself under” her, deferring to her interests and needs ().

But this “submission” of the husband to the wife is of a different character than the submission required of the wife to the husband.

Just by the shear definition of the word that the Holy Spirit chose to put there:

It’s a compound word: The verb being translated is hypotassō, which etymologically could be rendered “order” (tassō) “under” (hypo).

The wife “put (or orders) herself under” her husband in recognizing and living out an “order”

The wife “puts herself under” her husband in recognizing and living out an “order” established by God himself within the marriage relationship (and by extension, in the family of God, the church). As Paul puts it in , “the head of a wife is her husband” (ESV)—the husband, as the “prominent” and “directing” member of the relationship, is to take the lead in the marriage relationship.

The wife “puts herself under” her husband in recognizing and living out an “order” established by God himself within the marriage relationship (and by extension, in the family of God, the church). As Paul puts it in , “the head of a wife is her husband” (ESV)—the husband, as the “prominent” and “directing” member of the relationship, is to take the lead in the marriage relationship.

established by God himself within the marriage relationship (and by extension, in the family of God, the church).

As Paul puts it in , “the head of a wife is her husband”

—the husband, as the “prominent” and “directing” member of the relationship,

is to take the lead in the marriage relationship.

This role of submission for wives is something that I’m very eager that men and women, single and married, old and young,

hear this as a call to something strong and noble and beautiful and dignified and worthy of a woman’s highest spiritual and moral efforts.

eager that men and women, single and married, old and young, hear this as a call to something strong and noble and beautiful and dignified and worthy of a woman’s highest spiritual and moral efforts.

To set the stage for that impact, notice two phrases in :

In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 95). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

That means that there is a uniquely fitting submission to your own husband that is not fitting in relation to other men.

You are not called to submit to all men the way you do to your husband.

Then notice the phrase at the beginning: “In the same way, wives.”

This means that the call for a wife’s submission is part of a larger call for submission from all Christians in different ways.

In , Peter admonishes us all to be subject, “for the Lord’s sake,” to every human institution,

whether it be to the emperor as supreme or to governors appointed by him.

In other words, keep the speed limits, pay your taxes, and be respectful toward policemen and senators.

Then in 2:18–25 Peter addresses the household servants in the church and admonishes them to

be submissive to their masters with all respect, both to the kind and to the overbearing.

Then in 3:1–6 Peter instructs the wives to be submissive to their husbands,

including the husbands who are unbelieving.

This is the part we will focus on.

Then in verse 7 he instructs husbands to live considerately with their wives as fellow heirs of the grace of life.

Finally, in 3:8–12, Peter tells the whole church to have

unity and

sympathy and

love and

tenderheartedness and

humility toward one another, and

not to return evil for evil.

In other words, submit to each other and serve each other.

So, as we saw in , submission is a wider Christian virtue for all of us to pursue,

and it has its unique and fitting expressions in various relationships.

In this chapter we are focusing on the relationship of a wife to her husband.

What does submission look like there?

THE ROOTS OF WOMANHOOD

Before I describe what submission isn’t and what it is,

let’s gaze briefly at the powerful portrait of womanhood that Peter paints for us in these words.

What we see is the deep strong roots of womanhood underneath the fruit of submission. It’s the roots that make submission the strong and beautiful thing that it is.

Let’s start with verse 5:

For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands,

The deepest root of Christian womanhood mentioned in this text is hope in God. “Holy women who hoped in God …”

A Christian woman does not put her hope in her husband, or in getting a husband.

She does not put her hope in her looks or her intelligence or her creativity.

She puts her hope in the promises of God. She is described in :

Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.

She laughs at everything the future could bring because she hopes in God.

She looks away from the troubles and miseries and obstacles of life that seem to make the future bleak, and

she focuses her attention on the sovereign power and love of God who rules in heaven and does on earth whatever He pleases ().

She knows her Bible, and

she knows her theology of the sovereignty of God, and

she knows His promise that

He will be with her and will help her and strengthen her no matter what.

This is the deep, unshakable root of Christian womanhood.

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 97). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

And Peter makes it explicit in verse 5.

He is not talking about just any women.

He is talking about women with unshakable biblical roots in the sovereign goodness of God—holy women who hope in God.

FEARLESSNESS

The next thing to see about Christian womanhood, after hope in God, is the fearlessness that it produces in these women.

So verse 5 says that the holy women of old hoped in God.

And then verse 6 gives Sarah, Abraham’s wife, as an example and then refers to all other Christian women as her daughters. Verse 6:

just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 96). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

So this portrait of Christian womanhood is marked first by hope in God and then by what grows out of that hope, namely, fearlessness.

She does not fear the future; she laughs at the future.

The presence of hope in the invincible sovereignty of God drives out fear.

Or to say it more carefully and realistically, the daughters of Sarah fight the anxiety that rises in their hearts.

They wage war on fear, and they defeat it with hope in the promises of God.

Mature Christian women know that following Christ will mean suffering ().

But they believe promises like ,

But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear or be intimidated,

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 97). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

You will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled. Then 4:19

So then, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust themselves to a faithful Creator while doing what is good.

That is what Christian women do:

They entrust their souls to a faithful Creator.

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 98). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

They hope in God. And they triumph over fear.

eager that men and women, single and married, old and young, hear this as a call to something strong and noble and beautiful and dignified and worthy of a woman’s highest spiritual and moral efforts.

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (pp. 95–96). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

To set the stage for that impact, notice two phrases in :

Piper, J. (2009). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (p. 95). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.