THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
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:THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
Excellent speech becometh not a fool:
Much less do lying lips a prince.
A friend loveth at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.
The Hebrew word reaʿ, “friend,” “companion,” “neighbor,” or “fellow,” is a powerful word. It comes from the root of the verb raʿah, “to associate with,” “to be friends with,” “to be a companion to.”
A friend, reaʿ, loves through all times—through thick and thin, through good and bad
False friendship is a reality
Gossip was and is a deadly enemy to friendship (Prov. 16:28).
A froward man soweth strife:
And a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Remember when you were a child and could easily identify your best friend—or perhaps even your “bestest best friend” or “second best friend.” As we age and mature, we learn to accept and interact with a wide range of people. We have in-laws and colleagues and neighbors and acquaintances. But we still need friends.
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: So doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.
speaks of the “pleasantness of a friend.” In fact, I often think the older we get, the more important friends become to us. It takes a long time to make an old friend. And while you can’t usually pick your coworkers or fellow parishioners, you CAN pick your friends.
It is no small thing to call someone your friend. Jesus, speaking to his disciples, said “I have called you friends” (). He knew it was the ultimate compliment. tells us that, “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.” Friendship is a big deal.
Remember when you were a child and could easily identify your best friend—or perhaps even your “bestest best friend” or “second best friend.” As we age and mature, we learn to accept and interact with a wide range of people. We have in-laws and colleagues and neighbors and acquaintances. But we still need friends.
We all need relationships that put wind in our sails — ones that help us to feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved. However, being a “wind in your sails” kind of friend can be inconvenient, uncomfortable, or difficult. The energy required can feel overwhelming at times, but it’s well worth the effort.
One of the most famous friendships in the Bible is that between Jonathan and David. Even though Jonathan’s father, King Saul, sought to kill David, Jonathan maintained his close friendship with David. 1 Samuel, chapter 20 tells the story of how Jonathan came to warn David that he must flee for his life—a fact that brought both of these strong men to tears (verse 41). Jonathan’s parting words to David were, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord” (verse 42).
This God-based friendship would survive war and even death, with David showing kindness to Jonathan’s crippled son after his father is killed in battle. “’Don’t be afraid,’ David said to him, ‘for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table’” ().
The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour: But the way of the wicked seduceth them.
Friendship is a God-ordained and blessed relationship. tells us that, “The righteous choose their friends carefully.” God will use these carefully-chosen friends to help you grow in your faith while at the same time providing you with opportunities to help them grow, too. You will be following the Apostle Paul’s advice to “encourage one another and build each other up”
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
In , God says, “See, I am doing a new thing!” God wants us to be open to new experiences, in our spiritual life and in our daily life, too. Friends can help you do that. So take time to cultivate those friendships God has blessed you with. And pledge to make a few new friends! “A man who has friends must himself be friendly”
In , God says, “See, I am doing a new thing!” God wants us to be open to new experiences, in our spiritual life and in our daily life, too. Friends can help you do that. So take time to cultivate those friendships God has blessed you with. And pledge to make a few new friends! “A man who has friends must himself be friendly”
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
We all need relationships that put wind in our sails — ones that help us to feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved. However, being a “wind in your sails” kind of friend can be inconvenient, uncomfortable, or difficult. The energy required can feel overwhelming at times, but it’s well worth the effort.
We all need relationships that put wind in our sails — ones that help us to feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved. However, being a “wind in your sails” kind of friend can be inconvenient, uncomfortable, or difficult. The energy required can feel overwhelming at times, but it’s well worth the effort.
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
God can come into our lives through a person who is warm and compassionate. They can love us and be understanding.
Here are 4 characteristics of true friendship:
Here are 4 characteristics of true friendship:
Unconditional love - A true friend loves at all times. Regardless of what you do, what happens, or where life takes you, a true friend loves at all times. On your worst day—when you aren’t even fun to be around—a true friend still takes you to lunch. (And likely pays.)
Unwavering support – True friends are in it for the long haul. Even when you’ve fallen—or agree with you completely—a true friend is in your corner. When you call—even when you’re in trouble—they come. True friendships may only be for a season. I have many of those. But if we run into each other again we pick up where we left off. Trust is already established. The relationship is just as strong. True friendships are consistent.
Willingness to challenge – Love and support is not ignoring the words you need to here. A true friendship makes you better. The Bible says “iron sharpens iron.” True friends will correct you if needed. says, “Better an open rebuke than hidden love.” Friends won’t let you injure yourself or others if they can intervene. They won’t remain silent with what you need to hear—and it will be shared in the deepest of love.
Full of grace – True friendship weather the sometime difficulties of relationships, forgiving when needed, and loving each other even when it hurts. A true friendship isn’t one-sided. Both friends are willing to lay down their life for the other. Grace is freely and generously given.
“Everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their lives.”
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Think of a time when you felt seen, accepted, understood, and appreciated by someone. What did that person do to make you feel that way?
2. Think about the statement, “We want to do the right thing when it’s right for us.” Is there a relationship that comes to mind that is characterized by that statement?
3. Fill in the blank with one of the options below, or one of your choosing. I’m not a “wind in your sails” kind of friend sometimes because it’s___________.
• Inconvenient - I don’t have the time or energy.
• Uncomfortable - I don’t know what I’d say or how they’d respond.
• Difficult - I don’t think I can because it’s too much work.
4. Read . The text provides three insights into how we can be a “wind in your sails” kind of friend. Which insight challenges you the most? • Don’t make it about me. (verse 2) • I rise by lifting you up. (verse 2) • I’ll bounce my eyes to your interests. (verse 3)
5. What would it look like to apply these insights to your most difficult relationships?
MOVING FORWARD
The greatest standing ovation we can give someone else is to help them feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved not only by us, but also by their Heavenly Father. This week, look for those opportunities to be the “wind in your sails” kind of friend, co-worker, spouse, or family member to those around you.
“Anybody can be a friend.”