EPHESIANS 6:1-4

DISCIPLINE— WHAT IS IT?

INTRODUCTION

Back on June 3rd, you may recall I mentioned the second half of Ephesians dealt with four concepts:

In total there are four concepts we see in this second half of the book.

Church Unity

Church Purity

Church harmony

Church Victory

Today’s message will be the fourth message under the concept of Church Harmony.

This harmony began by looking at the concept of Submission.

Submission for us as church members to each other.

We then looked at Marriage with Submission of the wife to her husband and the need for the husband to love his wife as he would love himself.

Each of these required a Spirit-filled believer to be walking closely with Christ daily.

We have one more message following today’s message on Church Harmony.

Today’s message is on Harmony between children and their parents.

Please turn in your Bible to:

Ephesians 6:1–4 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

These four short verses carry four thoughts for us:

Two to the children:

OBEY AND HONOR YOUR PARENTS (vv. 1-3)

Two to the parents—primarily to the fathers:

Two to the parents—primarily to the fathers:

DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN (v. 4a)

BRING THEM UP (v. 4b)

While I know many of you are beyond rearing children and your parents have passed on,

these concepts can be shared with your children and grandchildren and others on having Harmony in the Home.

It is no secret that the 21st Century Home in America is in a mess.

The home life in Paul’s day was worse.

You may recall the comments on the martial mess of Paul’s day.

The Home life for children was just as bad.

William Barclay shed’s some light:

The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians Children and Parents (Ephesians 6:1–4)

There was the Roman patria potestas, the father’s power. Under the patria potestas, a Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves; he could make them work in his fields even in chains; he could punish as he liked and could even inflict the death penalty. Further, the power of the Roman father extended over a child’s whole life, as long as the father lived. A Roman son never came of age. Even when he was a grown man, even if he were a magistrate of the city, even if the state had crowned him with well-deserved honours, he remained within his father’s absolute power.

Additionally Barclay shares:

The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians Children and Parents (Ephesians 6:1–4)

There was the custom of child exposure. When a child was born, it was placed at its father’s feet; and, if the father stooped and lifted the child, that meant that he acknowledged it and wanted to keep it. If he turned and walked away, it meant that he refused to acknowledge it, and the child could quite literally be thrown out.

For the sickly or deformed children, life was bad:

The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians Children and Parents (Ephesians 6:1–4)

Seneca writes: ‘We slaughter a fierce ox; we strangle a mad dog; we plunge the knife into sickly cattle lest they taint the herd; children who are born weakly and deformed we drown.’

This was life in Paul’s day.

It was against this situation that Paul wrote his advice to children and parents.

If someone were to ask you what had Christianity done for the world—just point them to the change brought about for the status of women and for children.

Let’s turn our thoughts to the first point for today:

OBEY AND HONOR YOUR PARENTS (vv. 1-3)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This is divine wisdom for children.

OBEDIENCE IS IN ACCORD WITH NATURAL LAW (v. 1b)

Paul said ‘… for this is right.’

Virtually every culture and every society see the value of children being obedient to their parents.

When there is a lack of obedience we see a sign of decadence and degeneration.

Paul places disobedience to parents as one of the worse signs of decadence that leads to a ‘depraved mind.’

Romans

Romans 1:28–32 ESV

28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

Romans 1:28-

Romans 1:28–30 ESV

28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

Paul uses some strong words here.

Notice the association of these terrible things with disobedience to parents.

While it may appear to be natural behavior to disobey your parents—it goes against the natural order of every civilization.

Paul most likely is speaking to a Christian household with these words because he uses the phrase: ‘in the Lord...’

But he could also mean that children are to obey their parents when the obedience does not go against what God’s Word dictates.

Either way, for a Christian child to be obedient was well pleasing to the Lord according to .

OBEDIENCE IS IN ACCORD WITH DIVINE LAW (v. 2a)

“Honor your father and mother...”

Paul is quoting , the fifth commandment.

Kent Hughes says:

Preaching the Word: Ephesians—The Mystery of the Body of Christ God’s Wisdom to Children (vv. 1-3)

Simply put: children must obey and honor their parents because it is commanded by God, period! If that is not enough, Paul adds a very practical reason, which is that it will affect how well and how long a child lives.

Yes, obedient children sometimes die early, but the general rule is obedient children live longer.

When a parent tells a child to obey the speed limit, drive safely, don’t drink and drive, and don’t have a car full of friends, they usually are going to live a longer life that the disobedient child.

It is not hard to find a story of a teenager speeding, or drinking and driving who has an accident and dies.

I was disobedient to my father’s rule of stealing...

What is required to obey your parents?

The Greek word here “obey” means to “Listen Under.”

Obedience is active conscious listening.

If you do not listen—you cannot obey.

It also has the idea to understand and do it.

If what your parents tell you to do fall within God’s word—then do it.

Obedience is also a matter of attitude.

Not like the little tike the teacher told to sit in the corner, who while sitting there with grudging obedience was saying to himself, “I’m sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside.”

To honor our parents means to love them, to regard them highly, to show them respect and consideration.

Now we turn to the parents:

DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN (v. 4a)

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...”

This is God’s wisdom for parents.

Ol how I wish I had taken this to heart early in my parenting.

It is so easy to provoke you children.

There are numerous ways, but I will share just a few:

DO NOT BE UNREASONABLE

Do not ask your children to do things that they are not able to do.

Do not overload them with demands that will frustrate them.

DO NOT FIND FAULT IN EVERYTHING

When we asked our children to begin doing choirs in the home, we did not find fault in how they folded the wash cloths and towels.

DO NOT BE INCONSISTENT

One thing we noticed real quick with Sophie was if we made a promise, she remembered it.

If you promise your child something—follow through on it.

DO NOT PICK FAVORITES AMONG YOUR CHILDREN

Scripture is full of how this destroys families.

Isaac choosing Esau over Jacob.

Rebecca choosing Jacob over Esau.

One would think Jacob would learn a lesson in that, but no, he choose Joseph over his over sons.

BRING THEM UP (v. 4b)

“… but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Children are fragile. They can be crushed so easily.

GENTLENESS IS NEEDED

“… bring them up...”

means to nourish or feed them.

In 5:29 we saw where a man “… nourishes and cherishes...” his own body.

TRAINING IS NEEDED

“… the discipline...”

This word discipline has a negative and a positive side.

Negatively it is punishment.

Some times punishment is needed.

Positively it is training.

We say an athlete is “disciplined” when he goes to the gym to get in shape and stay in shape.

The athlete is training his body.

INSTRUCTION IS NEEDED

“… instruction of the Lord.”

The idea of instruction literally means “to place before the mind.”

This makes me think of my seminary days—the professors ‘placed before my mind’ several thousand pages of reading each semester.

Instruction also means to “confront.”

The High Priest Eli was a failure in confronting his two sons in .

He failed to restrain them, to instruct them properly.

CONCLUSION