How to Forgive the Unforgivable?

Opening

We’re still on our series on… “Values that Last”

For the past few Sundays we’re gleaning on Biblical principles on how we must live our lives on God’s values and not by the world’s pressure

Many people are still living by values that are at odds with God’s values and the results are definitely conclusive!

They are trapped in a vicious cycle that if they do not breakthrough out of it, they’ll never determine what truly matters in life

Last Sunday we heard that the time-proven source of “Values that Last” is not money, not the people around us and not even the culture we’re living in.. but the Bible

When you live on God’s values, you don’t have to do it by yourself.. God will help you

How to keep your cool?.. God will help you!

How to live a Balanced life?.. God will help you!

How to Respect even those who do not respect you?.. God will help you!

How to Forgive the Unforgivable?… God will help you!

BREATHE!

It is a fact of life that you’ll gonna be hurt

You’ll be hurt by what people say and do to you

And then you begin to ponder on the question...

Why in the world should I forgive anybody who hurts me?

Not unless you know why, the “how” could be very difficult

I always say that in anything, as long as you know why you’re doing what you’re doing, the answer to “how to do it?” will follow along

So, why in the world should you forgive the people who hurt you?

Because...

You are also forgiven

Our faith in Jesus started with “forgiveness”

Forgiveness is the beginning of our faith

Colossians 3:13 NIV

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

God will always forgive you more than you have forgiven anybody

If you have a hard time letting go

The possibility is that, you yourself feel that you are not forgiven

On the other hand when you remember that everything you owe has been wiped clean by Jesus, you’ll be more forgiving

Matthew 6:14 NIV

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Because forgiveness is not a choice, but a command

Jesus said, if you truly love me, obey my command

And this is one of His commands

Mark 11:25 NIV

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Matthew 5:24 NIV

leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

BREATHE!

Matthew 5:23–24 NIV

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Forgiveness is the beginning of our faith

BREATHE!

There’s a saying that goes…

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving

Let us rephrase that...

You can forgive without loving, but you cannot love without forgiving

Forgiveness is an important attribute of a follower of Christ and yet we still hear these excuses:

You can forgive but you can’t forget”… That’s most often true…only God (and sometimes time and old age) can erase a memory.

I can forgive but I can’t forget”… That’s most often true…only God (and sometimes time and old age) can erase a memory.

“I’ve tried to forgive him, but he haven’t changed”… That’s probably true. Forgiveness can be a catalyst for change, but it doesn’t guarantee change

“I’ve tried to forgive them, but they haven’t changed”… That’s probably true. Forgiveness can be a catalyst for change, but it doesn’t guarantee change

“I may have forgiven them, but I’ll always hold it against them”… that may sound logical, but it’s not forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a releasing of emotional guilt you place upon the other person.

It’s a choice we make that happens in the heart.

It’s not a release of responsibility or an absence of healthy boundaries

but it is to remove the right to get even from the person who injured you.

It’s a release of anger and the right to hold a grudge.

Let’s see how the Word of God will qualify this statements

BREATHE!

Ask the person on your right...

How to Forgive the Unforgivable?

Like I said earlier, that it is fact of life that you’ll be hurt by what the people say and do to you

I’m not gonna ask you to raise your hands, but I’d like you to think of that “unforgivable” person in your life

BREATHE!

In one of the gatherings of the disciples with Jesus, they asked the Lord… “who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

Jesus called a child and told His disciples, “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”

A child illustrates humility and dependence

Children were without status in the ancient world and at the mercy of adults

To become like children describes a change in attitude.

Jesus contrasts the disciples’ pride with the humility of children

The Lord went on with His teachings about causing others to stumble / to commit sin

And then continued with another parable this time about the wandering sheep

The willingness to leave the 99 and look for the missing one

He also taught the disciples how to deal with the sin in the church

Until Peter came to Jesus and asked.. “Lord , how many times shall I forgive a brother or a sister who sin against me?”

In our text today, Jesus answered Peter’s question

Text: The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Matthew 18:21–35 ESV

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Matthew

You cannot receive what you are not willing to give

You cannot receive love unless you’re willing to give love

You cannot receive blessings unless you’re willing to give blessings

You cannot receive forgiveness unless you’re willing to give forgiveness…

BREATHE!

Sometimes it makes it more difficult to forgive if we don’t completely understand what “forgiveness” actually is, as defined by the Bible

What is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is freeing a person from guilt and its consequences

Before we came to believe in Christ our consequences is eternal damnation.

Forever separation from God

But when we were forgiven, that consequence is no longer the case

We were freed from our guilt

Wiithout the shedding of blood there’s no forgiveness (Hebrews 9:22)

In the old testament where the ways of our patriarchs are recorded, thy offered animals as their sacrifice

And in the New Testament where the life and death of our Messiah was recorded, Jesus was the willing sacrifice, and His blood was shed for the forgiveness of our sins

What Forgiveness is not?

Minimizing the seriousness of the offense

There’s a difference between forgiveness and acceptance

The instant restoration of trust

Forgive is instant, but trust shall be rebuilt

Only the victim has the right to forgive

Don’t confuse forgiveness & restoration

Resuming the relationship without any changes

Repentance

Restitution

Rebuilding of Trust

But you need to forgive either they change or not

The same as reconciliation

You can actually forgive in secret, it is what you do and not what they do

Many reconciliations have broken down because both parties have come prepared to forgive but unprepared to be forgive

BREATHE!

A man named John Oglethorpe talked to John Wesley, once made a comment, “I never forgive.”.. Mr. Wesley wisely replied,.. “Then Sir, I hope that you never sin”.

How to forgive the unforgivable?

Here are 4 things that you can do

Four (4) Things you can do to Forgive the Unforgivable

1. Recognize that we’re all imperfect

Ecclesiastes 7:20 NIV

20 Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins.

The we all fall short of the glory of God

We are all like sheep who have strayed away from God

2. Relinquish my right to get even

Romans 12:19 NIV

19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

This is the heart of forgiveness

that’s unfair, who said it will be fair, life isn’t fair, the world is full on injusticebut one day God will account for everyonehow often do I have to do that? as often as the memories comes backforgiveness is not a one shot deal

That’s unfair, who said it will be fair, life isn’t fair,

The world is full on injustice but one day God will account for everyone how often do I have to do that? as often as the memories comes back forgiveness is not a one shot deal

The world is full on injustice but one day God will account for everyone how often do I have to do that? as often as the memories comes back forgiveness is not a one shot deal

It’s not always advisable to go to the person who hurt you - empty chair technic

it’s not always advisable to go to the person who hurt you - empty chair technic

Story about Kuya Pempe on Romans 12:19

3. Respond to evil with good

Luke 6:27–28 NIV

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

There’s no way you can do those verse without God’s power

How do you know when you fully released someone?

When you can understand their hurt, and when you can pray for him

5 Ways to tell if you’ve forgiven someone:

When the first thought you have about them is not the injury they caused in your life.

You should be able to have normal thoughts about the person occasionally.

Remember, you are dropping the right to get even; the grudge you held against them.

Ask yourself: Would you help them if you knew they were in trouble and you had the ability?

Ask yourself: Would you help them if you knew they were in trouble and you had the ability?

would you in your heart want to see them prosper or see them come to harm?

Can you think positive thoughts about this person?

Is there anything good you can come up with about this person?

Do you still think of getting even with this person?

Does your heart want to hurt them?

When you have stopped looking for them to fail

you would want them to succeed or at least do better in life.

Forgiveness means you’ve stopped keeping a record of the person’s wrongs.

1500 Illustrations for Biblical Preaching Forgiveness, Forgetting And

A man who was telling his friend about an argument he’d had with his wife commented, “Oh, how I hate it, every time we have an argument; she gets historical.”

The friend replied, “You mean hysterical.”

“No,” he insisted. “I mean historical. Every time we argue she drags up everything from the past and holds it against me!

4. Refocus on God’s purpose for my life

Colossians 3:2 NIV

2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Unless you release your offender, he will continue to control you

Until you release your offender, you will begin to resemble him

3 Steps to Refocus on God’s Purpose for your Life:

Put your heart right (release and forgive)

Reach out to God (Ask Christ into your life because you don’t have enough power)

Face the world again (you don’t withdraw into a shell)

Then the memory will fade

BREATHE!

Forgive and Forget

A man who was telling his friend about an argument he’d had with his wife commented, “Oh, how I hate it, every time we have an argument; she gets historical.”

A man who was telling his friend about an argument he’d had with his wife commented, “Oh, how I hate it, every time we have an argument; she gets historical.”

The friend replied, “You mean hysterical.”

The friend replied, “You mean hysterical.”

“No,” he insisted. “I mean historical. Every time we argue she drags up everything from the past and holds it against me!

“No,” he insisted. “I mean historical. Every time we argue she drags up everything from the past and holds it against me!

Prayer:

Recognize that we’re all imperfect

Relinquish your right to get even

Respond to evil with good

Refocus on God’s purpose for your life

All these pieces Broken and scattered

In mercy gathered, Mended and whole

Empty-handed, But not forsaken

I've been set free, I've been forgiven

Jesus Christ can make the rest of your lives, the best of your lives….

Jesus Christ can make the rest of your lives, the best of your lives….

It requires an amazing grace to forgive the unforgivable