RESOLVED TO BUILD KINGDOM FAMILIES

THE PURPOSE OF GOD’S COMMANDS: TO BUILD KINGDOM FAMILIES AND KINGDOM COMMUNITIES

We have a nation and culture that has gone of the rails. The church has a high calling to show people that boundaries matter.

Proverbs 22:28 NASB95

28 Do not move the ancient boundary Which your fathers have set.

Now if a modern judiciary had the job to create a set of legal commands, there would be a very different structure.

It might start out with don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Don’t steal unless from someone who has more than you have. Don’t murder anyone until after they are born or you think they are too old to live. Commit adultery and if anyone complains tell them, “What difference does it make.” Don’t lie to anyone who agrees with you. Don’t lie about anyone unless you don’t like their politics or polices, then its gloves off. And by they way, we don’t know whether you were born from a father, mother, or whatever as sex, gender, and marriage simply come from a societal construct that no one can be certain of and certainly cannot be trusted. Besides the State will parent you, provide student loans for you so you can stay in extended adolescence while you vote for more and more stuff from other people and vote your rights away. So they educate and indoctrinate you to be good, at least good in the way they see it.

God starts out with a different order than one might expect.

I. I WILL HONOR THE ROLE AND WORK OF PARENTS.

Before God set up government, welfare, civil laws, God set the pattern for family and child rearing.

Parents. Father and Mother.

He says honor them

Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon 3513 כָּבֵד

כָּבֵד [kabad

They carry weight. Their job will anchor families, cultures and nations. As the family goes, so goes society.

a. Parents are the PRIMARY TRANSMITTERS OF VALUE AND STRUCTURE.

1. You are responsible to KNOW GOD AND HIS WAYS.

2. You are responsible to SHOW your children GOD’s Ways.

Children will see what you do. They will even attend church with you. But they will not know how to be godly without being trained. We can be well intended but guilty of raising godlings rather than the next generation of Christians.

For all the benefits of living a life by God’s Commands, the goal is not outward conformity to laws, but to INWARD PROXIMITY to the Lord.

b. Parents are to provide healthy Boundaries.

1. Parents provide directed control.

2. With the goal that children become adults who exercise self-control.

What happens when your blood leaves the boundaries of arteries and veins.

What happens when your bank balance leaves the boundaries of your bills?

What happens when a drunk driver leaves the boundaries of her lane.

II. Kingdom Families Benefit Society.

a. Builds people connected with responsible Character.

To Connect with their activity with purpose. I made this. I am responsible for this.

b. Builds people who Protect other’s dignity. (Do not murder:Life matters. Do not steal: property matters).

c. Builds people who Promote the Common Good.

Doing Good in the name of Christ.

Thomas the Train: I’m free when I get off the tracks. Everybody needs boundaries.

They need order.

The fundamental transmitter of order comes from the family, father and mother.

Our nation has been flirting with a dangerous experiment, to remove the social imperative to raise kids in a nuclear family.

It started with

Honor Kavod

Note before murder honor mom and dad

kids are set by age 6

Selfish Ambition vs. True justice

Don’t

Making a pure heart by training heads and hands to think and do good.

Kids need fathers and mothers.

INTERESTINGLY Fathers help their boys especially focus by play and interaction.

Can PLAY Diminish ADHD and Facilitate the Construction of the Social Brain?

Jaak Panksepp, PhD1Author information ► Article notes ► Copyright and License information ► DisclaimerThis article has been cited by other articles in PMC.Go to:

Abstract

The diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADHD) has been increasing at an alarming rate, paralleled by the prescription of highly effective psychostimulants whose developmental effects on growing brains remain inadequately characterized. One reason for the increasing incidence of ADHD may be the diminishing availability of opportunities for pre-school children to engage in natural self-generated social play. Pre-clinical work indicates that play can facilitate behavioral inhibition in growing animals, while psychostimulants reduce playfulness. The idea that intensive social play interventions, throughout early childhood, may alleviate ADHD symptoms remains to be evaluated. As an alternative to the use of play-reducing psychostimulants, society could establish play “sanctuaries” for at-risk children in order to facilitate frontal lobe maturation and the healthy development of pro-social minds.

THE BLOG 07/19/2013 04:08 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Let Your Child Play: The Answer to ADHD and More, According to Scientists

��By Karin Badt

Some of us may remember a childhood playing out in the woods, building tree forts, or playing curb ball in the street, those long hours until the sun went down spent creating an imaginary world with the kids of the hood.

But it’s more than nostalgia. According to neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, a childhood of unstructured play is vital to brain development and to developing the skills necessary for socialization.

How do I teach my children to act respectfully?

A child should be free to say anything to his parent, including "I don't like you" or "You weren't fair with me, Mommy." These expressions of true feeling should not be suppressed, provided they are said in a respectful manner. There is a thin line between what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior at this point. The child's expression of strong feeling, even resentment and anger, should be encouraged if it exists. But the parent should prohibit the child from resorting to name-calling and open rebellion. "Daddy, you hurt my feelings in front of my friend, and you were unkind to me" is an acceptable statement. "You stupid idiot, why didn't you shut up when my friends were here?!" is obviously unacceptable. If approached rationally as depicted in the first statement, it would be wise for the father to sit down and try to understand the child's viewpoint. Dad should be big enough to apologize to the child if he feels he was wrong. If he was right, however, he should calmly explain why he reacted as he did and tell the child how they can avoid the collision next time. It is possible to communicate without sacrificing parental respect, and the child should be taught how to express his discontent properly. This will be a very useful communicative tool later in life. Requiring a child to say “thank you” and “please” reminds him or her that this is not a "gimme-gimme" world. Appreciation must be taught, and this begins with fundamental politeness.

Is it healthy to set strict limits on a child's behavior?

Most certainly! Children derive security from knowing where the boundaries are and who's available to enforce them. Perhaps an illustration will make this more clear. Imagine driving a car over the Royal Gorge in Colorado. The bridge is suspended hundreds of feet above the canyon floor, and as a first-time traveler you are uneasy as you cross. (I knew one little fellow who was so awed by the view from the bridge that he said, "Wow, Daddy. If you fell off here it'd kill you constantly!") Suppose there were no guardrails on the side of the bridge; where would you steer the car? Right down the middle of the road! Even though you wouldn't plan to hit the protective rails along the side, you’d feel more secure just knowing they were there. The analogy to children has been demonstrated empirically. During the early days of the progressive education movement, one enthusiastic theorist removed the chain-link fence surrounding the nursery school yard. He thought children would feel more freedom of movement without the visible barrier surrounding them. When the fence was removed, however, the boys and girls huddled near the center of the playground. Not only did they not wander away, they didn't even venture to the edge of the grounds. There is security in defined limits. When the home atmosphere is as it should be, children live in utter safety. They never get in trouble unless they deliberately ask for it, and as long as they stay within the limits, there is happiness and freedom and acceptance. In the absence of boundaries, children set their own boundaries, often in defiance of parents.

Statistics

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.

Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent

Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.

Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.

43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

Census Fatherhood Statistics

64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18. Among these fathers –

22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men. Among these fathers –

8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.11 percent lived with step-children4 percent with adopted children< 1 percent with foster children

Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs’ successes and challenges.Whilethe following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.

Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father’s home.Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.