Passive Parenting

INTRO: Where are we in our study of 1 Samuel? We are right at the point when Hannah finishes her prepared prayer of praise to God for this occasion, and then she and her husband Elkanah willingly leave their son to serve the Lord in the presence of Eli the priest. What comes next is a whole section of contrast between Samuel and the Sons of Eli. And in that section, whether we like it or not, there’s a plain and painful example of parenting gone wrong.

But before we can get to that, we need to finish up Hannah’s praise where I cut off when our time ended.

So in both sections of study today: Will we live up to God’s call on our lives as his people, wholly surrendered and fully devoted, or will we settle? (paltry, platitudes, pleasantry) Will we praise God from a humble heart in the way he deserves, and will we parent with purpose and be people of purpose?

Song of a Humble Heart [slide]

Last week we left off just before we could finish the last verses of Hannah’s prayerful psalm of praise to God.

The Continuance of Hannah’s Praise (2:1-10)

Here’s what we’ve already covered and will cover:

Hannah’s praise overflows with rejoicing in God’s deliverance (v. 1)

Our praise of God is attached to our experience of His goodness.

Hannah’s praise overflows with boasting in God’s character (vv. 2-8)

Praise finds its expression from what we know of God.

Hannah’s praise overflows with anticipation of God’s promises (vv. 9-10)

What we know of God applies to our unknown future as well!

In our praises we await with great expectation the fulfillment of God’s purposes.

God is a God who takes care of his own. And those who are his show themselves through faithful devotion. He guards the feet of his faithful ones. (v. 9)

Not assured in our steps bc of ourselves, but bc our confidence is in God. We walk by faith (2 Cor. 5:7). The righteous will live by faith (Rom 1:17).

The humble heart that trusts in the Lord walks on solid ground with sure footing, no matter the circumstances:

Psalm 46:1–2 ESV

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

BUT the wicked and haughty have every reason to fear. - vv. 9b -10c

Without humbling themselves before God to receive his grace by faith, they will be cast into outer darkness. (Mt 25:30) - even those who think they are something by being Abraham’s physical descendants (Mt. 8:12), even those who try to sneak in under the guise of pretending to trust in God while they really want to keep on their unclean garments rather than putting on Christ… they too will be cast out (Mt 22:13).

The Lord will judge the ends of the earth, and he does so in perfect justice: Psalm 96:10c and 13c “he will judge the peoples with equity” … “He will judge the world in righteousness, and the peoples in his faithfulness.”

By CONTRAST, and Hannah’s Psalm turns prophetic: (v. 10d) - “his king… his annointed”

*How now will we connect Hannah’s praise to contrasting Samuel and the Sons of Eli (and to contrasting parents)?

Proverbs 27:21 ESV

The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise.

Examine the content of your praise. What does it say about the condition of your heart? Your priorities, your closeness to God…

Proverbs 27:19 ESV

As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.

Passive Parenting: How Even Good Men Fail As Fathers (2:11-26)

READ 1 Samuel 2:11-26

What does God desire from us as parents? What does he desire from His people?

Good men fail as fathers when there is more of religion than reality in our relationship to God.

Eli’s Worthless Sons (vv. 12-17)

How to completely blow it as a father—simply remain passive.

(silent when you should speak, lazy when you should lead, weak when they need you to be strong, worldly when they need you to be godly, etc.) - We’ll keep coming back to this…

The sons of Eli:

Worthless (sons of Belial): good for nothing, esp. regarding any sort of righteous behavior

Completely ignored God’s commands

Disdaining God’s provision for them

Literally a hindrance to worship - even the average worshipper knew better

They treated the holy sacrifices with contempt… which is tantamount to contempt for God’s higher and better ways, which is contempt for God

They did not know the Lord: no personal experience or fellowship with God

This is on Eli. - Passive parenting isn’t parenting. (What is passivity?)

Steve Cole:

First, passivity means having religion without reality. - Soft on obedience to God’s word. Form of religion without reality actually corrupts our children.

Second, passivity means shirking responsibility for shepherding your family. - You ARE accountable to God.

Elkanah’s Boy (vv. 11, 18-21, 26)

There are no perfect parents, but there can be good ones.

There may not be any perfect parents, but there can be parents and grandparents who know where to direct their prayer and praise.

Son of Prayer

If Hannah had written a prayer of praise to God for the day she presented Samuel to serve, how much do you suppose she and Elkanah prayed for Samuel when they were separated? If Hannah took time to prepare clothing (robe) for her son, do you not think that this woman of God bathed her son in prayer?

Personal illustration of growing up while often being away at boarding school as an MK

There are no perfect parents, but there are those who know the perfect Father through faith in Jesus and have a growing relationship with him.

… who know that God is in the business of changing hearts, so they ceaselessly pray for God to make their children vessels of honor for His glory.

Dressed to Serve

linen ephod - a tunic, like a vest or apron worn over top, for priests

little robe -

There are no perfect parents, but there are those who do all they can to be obedient to God in their responsibility to discipline and instruct their children, while ultimately fully entrusting their children into the care of a good and sovereign God.

Favored by God

Maturing, both spiritually and socially

Sound familiar, it should: Luke 2:52

Luke 2:52 ESV

And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

We are called to be faithful, but ultimately we can and must trust the sovereign goodness of our God.

But what we don’t need are empty words… our lives and our leadership need to back up what we say:

Eli’s Worthless Rebuke (vv. 22-25)

If we do not instruct our children in the fear of the Lord and in His ways, then they will pick up the practices of the world around them. - Eli’s sons doing with the women serving at the temple what was common among the Canaanites (to have cult prostitutes).

Scolding isn’t the same as accountability.

A rebuke alone doesn’t carry the weight of a rod to the backside. - While a rod is unnecessary for the wise man, it is abundantly necessary for the fool.

Proverbs 9:9 ESV

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

Psalm 141:5 ESV

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. Yet my prayer is continually against their evil deeds.

Proverbs 26:3 ESV

A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools.

Proverbs 22:15 ESV

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

Proverbs 20:30 Lashes and wounds scour evil, and beatings cleanse the inmost parts.

Proverbs 23:14 Strike him with a rod, and you will deliver his soul from Sheol.

Proverbs 29:15 A rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

While Eli’s warning is strong, it lacks teeth.

(vv. 24-25a)

I see parents wringing their hands today, much like Eli, when their children refuse to obey. Their children are not 6’ 5”, weighing 250 pounds, and all muscle. Their children are often five years old, and the options the parents have are many. Yet, after one word of instruction, when the child blatantly refuses to obey, the parent shrugs his or her shoulders as if to say, “What else can I do?” … Do I really need to tell you? Read Proverbs; you will think of something. (Bob Deffinbaugh)

Therefore, Eli is complicit, to say the least. - by not taking decisive action against their sin - which has likely been a pattern throughout life… and he’s probably literally complicit in the eating of the fat meat (v. 29)

It was the will of the Lord to put them to death - God’s judicial hardening of those who have defiantly refused to repent.

The grievousness of the sins of Eli’s sons is matched only by the failed leadership of their father.

Parents… grandparents… believers one to another — you want a clear conscience before God that you are leading others toward him and not passively standing by while people in your circle stray from God while you do nothing.

So while there are no perfect parents, there are some demonstrating real faithfulness in commitment to discipling their children. We should learn from those people and team up with one another for accountability.

What Should We Do?

Purposeful Parenting (& How to give guidance to your own heart…)

How do we proactively preempt wrongful twisting of God’s ways and positively promote God’s purposes? - Let’s do better than simply escaping the “worthless” title!

Praise

Pray

Instruct

Discipline

Enjoy

Praise God for them in their presence, Pray with them and for them, Instruct them in truth (openly and often - Show them the way to personal faith in Christ. Teach them the ways of God and to have a reverence for God and the things of God.), Discipline and correct them for destructive attitudes and behaviors, Train them to serve, enjoy watching them grow in favor with God and man.

Praise God for his revelation in your life, Pray daily (and more) for God to have his way in your heart, Devote yourself to knowing God from His word, Accept discipline and correction, Be trained in service, Be thankful and joyful in bearing fruit for the glory of God.

There are no perfect Christians, but there are those who rely on God and faithfully pursue him.

There are no perfect Christians, but we can be a team of God’s people who hold one another accountable to all that God has called Christ’s bride to be.