Colossians 3:20-21. Children and Parents...

We share so much together as men and women of the faith!

We are united by Christ and redeemed by his blood.

We are fellow church members.

We worship and pray and sing together.

This is just a sampling of the fellowship of Christ that we all share.

We will be happiest, though, not when we throw off or ignore our manhood or womanhood,

but when we embrace God’s good design.

If we are men, we should have our eyes on the biblical characteristics of deacons and elders.

We should strive for such God-centered character.

Every pastor should be training all of his men to aspire to these biblical offices, whether or not they assume them.

If given families to lead as men, we should be

understanding with our wives (),

gentle with our children (), and

shepherding our loved ones with pastoral care ().

If given families to serve as women, we should be

submissive to our husband (),

dedicated to the bearing and raising of any children God gives us (), and

strengthening our home in myriad ways ().

But so far in our study of we looked at wives as marked by submission and husbands as marked by love.

BTW, Who submitted Himself unto the will of the Father?

Who loved the church and gave Himself up for her? CHRIST!!!

So who are husbands and wives patterning their roles after? Christ and Him alone!!

So tonight (in vv20-21) we talk about the heavenly gift of that one flesh union between a husband and wife.

Children and the role of fathers in a child’s life.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.

So let’s begin with the children. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

It’s just a basic and simple understanding. Children, you are to please the Lord and not simply your parents.

So watch this: as long as your children are under you (unmarried).

They are under your headship and care. If married, they leave mom and dad and become joined as one flesh with their spouse for life!

At that point the relationship changes from both perspectives (parents to child and child to parents).

In the comparison found in , after urging children to obey their parents, requires that fathers, “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Paul’s concern is with the household, and we can conclude that he means any children

who are part of that household and therefore technically under the “authority” of the father led home.

Disobedient children are evidences of the corrupt culture we are living in.

So Paul says in And because they did not think it worthwhile to acknowledge God, God delivered them over to a corrupt mind so that they do what is not right.

He goes on to say that people with the corrupt and twisted minds are “gossips, slanderers, God-haters, arrogant, proud, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents” (vv29-30).

Disobedience marks the ever-increasing wickedness of “the last days” () “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,”

Christian Standard Bible. (2017). (). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.

Godly parents do not inflict upon their children the cruelty of telling them that they should do “just as they please.”

According to both Scripture and experience children are not only immature but also sinful by nature, wholly incapable by nature to choose the good

() Indeed, I was guilty when I was born; I was sinful when my mother conceived me.

Indeed, I was guilty when I was born; I was sinful when my mother conceived me.

And because of this the admonition in the form in which it is found here is very comprehensive:

Moo, D. J. (2008). The letters to the Colossians and to Philemon (p. 304). Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Pub. Co.

the children are exhorted to obey their parents “in everything”

Children, please know that mom and dad are seeking to please the Lord as well!

Please turn with me to . Let’s all look at our aim this evening.

vv 9-10 Therefore, whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to be pleasing to him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each may be repaid for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Believers seek the Master’s constant approval because of their destiny with him (v. 8) and because they are accountable to him (v. 10).

In whatever condition or state believers find themselves, their goal is to glorify God ().

Having a godly ambition to please God is tied to eternal rewards ().

To the extent that pleasing (and glorifying) God is the

ruling motive for the things we do while “in the body,” we will be recompensed at the Judgment seat of Christ.

And, as Jesus made so clear in His Sermon on the Mount (), to the extent

pleasing (being seen by) men is the ruling motive in our decisions, we will lose our heavenly rewards.

There is one final element of godly ambition I would like to briefly mention for your consideration:

the resolve to not be distracted from one’s eternal purpose.

Please turn to

Priolo, L. (2007). Teaching People to Please God. The Journal of Modern Ministry, 4(1), 88.

Sproul, R. C. (Ed.). (2015). The Reformation Study Bible: English Standard Version (2015 Edition) (p. 2056). Orlando, FL: Reformation Trust.

Moo, D. J. (2015). The Letters and Revelation. In D. A. Carson (Ed.), NIV Zondervan Study Bible: Built on the Truth of Scripture and Centered on the Gospel Message (p. 2367). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in the concerns of civilian life; he seeks to please the commanding officer.

We are to seek to please our commanding officer Jesus.

A soldier is single-minded. He is prepared to suffer hardship.

Although he may regularly participate in the daily affairs of life (i.e., side business ventures, sports, music, television, hobbies, social activities, and doing things that please people),

he does not become entangled with them.

On the battle-field, these good things will distract him, slow him down, and prevent him from doing his job.

And what is it that motivates the soldier to minimize his distractions?

The ambition to “please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.”

So it is with us. We have been selected to serve in God’s army.

He is the One from whom we take orders. We serve at His pleasure.

If we are serious about learning to please the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

we won’t allow anything to become so complicatedly woven into our lives

that it distracts us from doing what He has enlisted us to do.

So, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Then v21 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.”

Dad’s let's create an atmosphere which will make obedience an easy and natural matter, namely,

the atmosphere of love and confidence.

We are told to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord ().

When fathers are unjust or overly severe, a spirit of ugliness reigns is created in the hearts of their offspring.

The children “lose heart,” thinking, “No matter what I do, it’s always wrong.”

There should be no nagging, no constant “Don’t do this” and “Don’t do that.”

That doesn’t mean that we don’t ever command our children “No” or “Don’t”.

We think of the number of times that God commands us with, “You shall not” in the 10 Commandments.

osition of Colossians and Philemon (Vol. 6, p. 172). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.

However, the emphasis must be on the positive: “Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.” ()

A good father spends time with his children,

teaches,

entertains, and

encourages them, and

by his example as well as by outright, verbal instruction, points them to Christ.

outright, verbal instruction, points them to Christ. Though the rod of correction may at times be necessary, it must be used with discretion, since wise reproof is generally better than a hundred stripes (; , ; then 17:10).

Though the rod of correction may at times be necessary,

it must be used with discretion, since wise reproof is generally better than a hundred stripes

The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.

23:13, 14

Don’t withhold discipline from a youth; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod, and you will rescue his life from Sheol.

17:10

A rebuke cuts into a perceptive person more than a hundred lashes into a fool.

Just step back and think about God’s plan and His glorious wisdom in liberating us from strife and alienation in our relationships.

Women are unsubmissive by nature and husbands are selfish and bitter by nature.

Which leads to a strife-filled household.

There are disobedient children and fathers who are harsh in their discipline.

This too leads to a strife-filled household.

The principles underlying these instructions (in the second half of chapter 3)

—submission, love, service, obedience, conscientious work, and fairness—

transcend cultural limits and are applicable in any age.

(1) The instructions show a special concern for the weaker or powerless members of the pair: wives, children, (and slaves).

The commands cited do not simply reinforce the prerogatives of husbands, parents, (and masters),

for the stronger parties are given duties in addition to rights.

By new birth and out of our physical birth, we are given rights.

Wives (represent the submissive church).

Husbands (represent Jesus the sacrificial lover, savior of His bride).

Children (represent the children of God and seek to obey their heavenly Father).

Fathers (represent God the Father to their earthly children and seek to image Him to them).

So we’re all in possession with these rights and are called to bring glory to God through our unique and beautiful God-given roles.

(2) The motivation for the behavior becomes distinctively Christian.

The text does not ground its advice in the created order, natural law, or reason, as if to say:

“This is the way the world is; accept it and live in harmony with it.”

Nor does it say that the husband is the natural ruler and the wife the natural subject.

We are being called to focus on the Christian motivation behind our family relationships—how we relate to others.

Every member of a family, no matter the station, must allow Christ’s lordship to control his or her interpersonal relationships.

“Lord” is used 7 times in the passage. Christ’s lordship imposes itself on all aspects of our lives.

He becomes the third partner.

Garland, D. E. (1998). Colossians and Philemon (p. 258). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.

So the “Lord” becomes the controlling center of our interpretation of how all our relationships are to be focused.

Garland, D. E. (1998). Colossians and Philemon (p. 259). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.

Thus, what is fitting in the Lord is the hermeneutical key for bridging these instructions to our modern context.

This phrase is not a pious platitude attached to the prevailing cultural pattern to bless the status quo.

Putting our family relationships under the microscope of what is fitting in the Lord

always challenges and renews them. Our model is how Christ submitted himself to God.