Six Signs You've Found the Perfect Cellmate
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“good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in the jail cell.”
If your friends are leading you to a path of imprisonment, you may be on the wrong path with the wrong friends. The friends you have today will always impact your future tomorrow. Show me your friends; I’ll show you your future.
The one who walks with the wise will become wise,
but a companion of fools will suffer harm.
This might sound too simple to believe in, but it’s true. The people involved in your life will always determine where you are going. I’ve heard it said like this: “Show me your friends; I’ll show you your future.” So here are six signs you may have found the perfect cellmate, along with some practical ways to not end up in the cell with them.
1. They think they’re wiser than adults.
1. They think they’re wiser than adults.
Rehoboam story 1 Kings 12
Rehoboam Son of Solomon
Workers ask for better treatment
Rehoboam seeks advice
Solomon’s advisors: Be understanding, compassionate, earn their trust.
Rehoboam’s young advisers: show them who’s boss. Make it harder for them!
Led to civil war and the downfall of his country.
2. Your Parents don’t like them.
2. Your Parents don’t like them.
but how someone treats their own parents reveals who they are and what they value.
Scripture tells us to honor our parents
Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.
If you don’t value someone who loves you unconditionally and is only trying to give you the best future, how will you treat other people in your life?
Hopefully your parents love you unconditionally and will always be there for you. If that’s true, then you need to value that over your friend’s opinion. Show me your friends; I’ll show you your future.
3. You have to be someone different around them.
3. You have to be someone different around them.
that friend or crowd of friends who we would never want our parents to meet. We know that if our parents ever encountered a certain group of friends, they would not approve of them. You might try to justify your friendship to your mom and dad like this: “Jesus was called the friend of sinners; in fact, my parents wouldn’t approve of the people Jesus hung out with. I guess you could say I’m just like Jesus.”
I’m going to burst your Jesus bubble by pointing out that yes, Jesus was the friend of sinners, but when those friends left Jesus’ presence they could never call themselves sinners; they were called forgiven. The difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus transformed people, but you end up being transformed by your friends.
Romans 12:2 tells us that we are to never be conformed to the image of the world. The word “conformed” comes from a Greek word that means “to masquerade.” What Paul is describing is that we should never find ourselves in a situation where we are masquerading as something we aren’t.
If you have to act differently around someone, is it really an authentic relationship?
4. They gossip about your other friends.
4. They gossip about your other friends.
Not a big deal ---it’s not about me. But let’s be clear: if they’ll do it for you, they’ll do it to you.
I love this quote from Jay-Z: “Don’t tell me what was said about me. Tell me why they were so comfortable saying those things about me to you.”
5. They tell you what you want to hear.
5. They tell you what you want to hear.
It’s easy to believe the good things people tell us. It’s easy to say only good things. It’s when we need to redirect our friends that it gets tough. We might think that by not causing friction, we are doing our friends a lot of good. But the reality is, we are just allowing them to continue on their course of destruction. If you don’t call out your friend’s behavior, what you’re actually doing is blessing it. There is no neutral stance when it comes to friendship.
[story about Nathan confronting David]
King David had an affair with a married woman.
Had her husband killed in battle to cover it up.
Nathan, a prophet/friend, goes to David and tells him a story about a sheep/shepherd.
Then Nathan asked, “How shall we punish the rich man?” David is outraged and yells, “This man must pay fourfold for what he has done.”
Nathan agrees and breaks the news, “David, you are the rich man, and God has seen what you have done.”
Nathan told David how it really was.
6. They are never there for you.
6. They are never there for you.
One with many friends may be harmed,
but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
When your “friends” scatter, they are showing that they never deserved the title of friend. A friend is someone who sticks closer than a brother. They will go above and beyond, and it’s in that moment that you know they’re your friend.
So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
It is my hope and desire that all of you would find a friend who will be there no matter what. That’s what a godly friendship with other Christ-followers is supposed to look like. When one of us is suffering and grieving, we jump to their side and we grieve with them. When they are celebrating a win in their life, we celebrate with them. The worst part about this friendship quality is you never know who your true friends are until the unthinkable in life happens. Show me your friends; I’ll show you your future.
It’s not what you lose, but what you gain
It’s not what you lose, but what you gain
So maybe you have already seen one or more of these six signs in some of your friendships. You might be thinking, “Do I really need to lose these people in my life? Is it really that drastic that I need to lose these friendships over their flaws?” Let me be very blunt: When it comes to giving yourself the best future possible, it’s not about what you lose, but what you gain.
If you don’t let go of some of the toxic friendships in your life, you might gain a toxic future. Losing someone you can hardly call a friend while gaining a bright future sounds like a nice trade-off to me.
Hebrews 12:1 tells us to cast aside every weight as we run our race with endurance. Your future is too important to allow deadbeat friends to hold you back. Show me your friends; I’ll show you your future.