Staff Training 9/9/18
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Thanks for the Feedback
Sheila Heen
In any exchange between giver and receiver it’s the receiver who is in charge. Its the receiver who decides what their going to let in and what sense their going to make of it and whether and how they choose to change.
Receiving feedback is a skill
Learn even from feedback that is off base and poorly delivered
2 Human Needs
The need to learn and Grow
The need to be accepted or respected or loved the way we are now
Three types of Feedback
Appreciation : I see you, I get you, You matter around here. “ Keeps us motivated”
Coaching: Anything that helps me to get better. To grow your skill, knowledge, efficiency and effectiveness.
Coaching is the Engine for learning “It Helps us get better “
Evaluation : So that I can know what to expect and not expect. “ Evaluation tells us where we stand”
Which of the tree would you like more of ?
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We need all three in order to strive
Why didn't you receive the coaching / advice that you were given ?
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Three Triggered Reactions
Truth Triggers
Relationship Triggers
Identity Triggers
Do you consider yourself sensitive or insensitive when it comes to receiving feedback ?
Coaching: Anything that helps me to get better. To grow your skill, knowledge, efficiency and effectiveness.
Coaching is the Engine for learning
Evaluation : So that I can know what to expect and not expect
Which of the tree would you like more of ?
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If your sensitive you will SUPERSIZE the feedback and it will overwhelm you and we will be in a place that we cant learn.
Skills that you need to be able to manage your reactions and respond to get value and learning
#1
Not doing something : Not deciding wither it’s was right or wrong immediately
But working to better understand what in the world the giver means.
See yourself clearly
Everyone has blind spots
Facial Expressions
Body language
Tone of voice
Patters of behavior “habits”
Impact on others
Enlist a friend to help
Supportive Mirror: What’s wrong with the feedback ?
Honest Mirror : What might be right about it ?
The fastest way to change the feedback culture in any organization is for the leaders to become better receivers.
When leaders become better receivers
We will start getting some good feedback.
We become role models for what we value and what we expect and we show them how to do it.
We become role models
When you become a better receiver you automatically become a better giver
One thing
What’s one thing you particularly appreciate ?
What’s one thing you see me doing ( or failing to do ) that you think I should change?
People wont give you feedback until they believe that you want to know
God loves me just as I am, but He commands us to both learn and grow.
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Help My Pastor is under Pressure : Chapter 5 The Pressure to Provide
We should never allow carnal thinking church folk or wordly opinions shape or dictate what our Pastors are worth.
If we as leaders don’t get this, the church at large doesn't stand a chance.
Parochial
parochial
1: of or relating to a church parish
1: of or relating to a church parish
2: of or relating to a parish as a unit of local government
3: confined or restricted as if within the borders of a parish: limited in range or scope (as to a narrow area or region)
3: confined or restricted as if within the borders of a parish: limited in range or scope (as to a narrow area or region)
Merriam-Webster, I. (2003). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. (Eleventh ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Neither Jesus nor Paul are appropriate biblical models for determine how much today’s pastor should earn.
ascetic
ascetic
[Greek askētikos, literally, laborious, from askētēs one that exercises, hermit, from askein to work, exercise]
practicing strict self-denial as a measure of personal and especially spiritual discipline
Merriam-Webster, I. (2003). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. (Eleventh ed.). Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc.
anachronism
anach•ro•nism \ə-ˈna-krə-ˌni-zəm\ noun
1: an error in chronology especially: a chronological misplacing of persons, events, objects, or customs in regard to each other
2: a person or a thing that is chronologically out of place especially: one from a former age that is incongruous in the present
3: the state or condition of being chronologically out of place
A Pastor should be compensated based on their assignment
Solitude and space should be a personal choice not not dictated by control
Whether a Pastor desires Solitude and space should be a personal choice not
To some this is no problem because of your context that you come from others these makes you a little unsettled because once again the context that you come from.
Boards, Deacons and Trustees and members voted on dictated and control some of the local churchs
I come from a context of Visionary leadership
The logic in our culture is skewed in favor of what brings us entertainment value or yields superficial returns on our monetary contributions
It is not unspiritual for your Pastor’s to be reward for their work with memorable life experiences and generous comforts
6 Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches.
6 Let him who receives instruction in the Word [of God] share all good things with his teacher [contributing to his support].
It is not just thoughtful its scriptural
Society says that someone that starts something from scratch and it becomes successful is a genius but the Pastor does the same thing and he or she is a pimp
When you give to your local church you receive something meaningful in return
If your Pastor is preoccupied with
17 Elders who do their work well should be respected and paid well, especially those who work hard at both preaching and teaching.
18 For the Scripture says, “You must not muzzle an ox to keep it from eating as it treads out the grain.” And in another place, “Those who work deserve their pay!”
Chapter 6: How Can you Alleviate Pressure: Participate
Honor: To be weighty, to be heavy upon. The state of being highly respected or revered. A show of respect or special favor given to a person highly regarded. to have great price.
No one likes to hang out where they don’t feel honor.
Serve
A Pastor can only be as good as his support system. If the right people aren't in place or doing their jobs,it’s going to bring growth to a halt.
Be Consistent Be Conscientious Be Constructive
Protect
Your Pastors believes you're going to protect him and his family from gossip , criticism , false accusations , and the like.
When someone condemns or criticizes your pastor publicly, it’s clear where their loyalty does not lie. If you don’t bring this duplicity to your pastor’s attention, your loyalty can be called into question too.
We want to create and maintain a culture that it is unacceptable to bite and devour one another
15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
Give Every leader should be a consistent tither
When you give systematically ( tithes and offerings) and spontaneously (seeds, gifts ) you help your pastor to meet his financial obligations and alleviate the associated stresses of paying bills
Pray
Pray for their peace, perseverance and personal struggles
Participate by Progressing
Grow with me , don’t get left behind
If we want to increase our ministries appeal, the people underneath the pastor need to be increasing in knowledge and experience. If they are not getting better neither is the pastor.
Avoid the toxic feeling of complacency