Untitled Sermon

Thank you, Jessica, for that reading of God’s Word.

Well here we are on this great day. We have been looking forward to this day and preparing for this day for a long time. It was last November when I got an email from you Melanie asking if I would consider being a part of this incredible day in your life and at that point I could not even place who you were. What a joy it has been to meet with you both over the past 10 months and to get to know you as individuals and as a couple. And it truly is an honor for me to get to stand up here and confidently declare not only that the two of you are prepared for marriage, you are prepared for a marriage that will honor God.

We have been learned a lot from each other as we met to dive into God’s Word together to discovered what the one who designed marriage, designed it to be. One of the things that we discovered was that marriage is a primary place to display our loyalty to Jesus. That focusing all of our efforts and energy on our marriage, can actually be a detriment to it’s health. Marriage was never meant to be what we live for, but an arena that we live in. And a disciple of Jesus Christ is one who is fully devoted to Jesus, and when we place him first in our life, then our marriage will become the beautiful blessing that He designed to be.

I love that you chose to share this passage from Genesis, at the very beginning of the Bible, at the very beginning of time. In this passage we see how it was God who thought up this whole “man and wife thing”. It was his plan. His design. And as he was designing his World he said, ““It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

And the question that this should bring to our minds is, “A helper to help him do what?

We have trained and harnessed many animals to help us in all kinds of ways, but none of the animals that God had made were fitting to help in this way. So God uniquely designed a woman to help the man in way that no other relationship could.

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

God has wired the marriage relationship to be a unique and mysterious relationship that cannot be duplicated in any other arena. The reason for this is that he wanted it to to point to unique and mysterious relationship that cannot be duplicated. He tells us about this in the book of Ephesians chapter 5 where it says:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

We talked about “submission” and how none of us really like that word, especially since it has been used to defend some very wrong behavior, but when we look at it rightly it has a very powerful connection to this Genesis passage. God designed marriage to work in such a way as it reflects something of the relationship between Christ and his Church.

When the Church submits to Jesus then it is a blessing to the world around it, when it doesn’t it causes tensions, factions, anger and disunity.

In the same way, a wife who humbly submits to her husband is a vital component to a marriage becoming the blessing that it was designed to be. Without it, the possibility of tensions, factions, anger and disunity increases. Now understand, I am not saying that this will be and easy decision, just that it is a good and Godly one, but it is not the only vital component to a healthy marriage.

In the very next verse, God is just as clear about the difficult decision that any husband must make:

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

On this your wedding day, it is important for you Derek, and every husband that is here today, to understand this truth. If we want to know what kind of love God expects a husband to have towards his wife, then we look at Jesus and what He did for us on the cross. That is what true love looks like. To be willing to sacrifice yourself for the good of the one you love. To give yourself up for her as Christ did for the Church.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a]

28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” That sounds familiar because the Apostle Paul quotes from our Genesis passage here, and lastly he says:

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In closing my remarks today, I would like those two commands to ring out in your ears and your hearts.

Love & Respect.

That you Derek, would love Melanie as Christ has loved the Church and given himself for it. Today the two of you are becoming one and so from this day forward there is no separation. There is no, “That is just her problem”. If Melanie is troubled by something, then it is now also your struggle. If something is frustrating her, then it is your battle too. And above all, God has given you the responsibility to lead your wife into the good things that He has for you both. You are to be the Spiritual leader in your home, and to do what is necessary to make sure that nothing gets in the way of Melanie or yourself having what you need to grow in your relationship with God through Jesus Christ. This is what God means when he says, “Derek, love Melanie”.

And Melanie, this means that you will respect Derek and submit to him…as he submits himself to Christ. That is an important qualifier. God designed this marriage thing to have two roles and when they both are working it is a beautiful thing, but when either one is missing it breaks down. God has designed you Melanie, with unique gifts and talents, to be a fitting help mate for Derek. To help him as he submits to God’s leadership in your marriage and to draw you both closer to God. He is not going to be perfect at this (that’s good news right Derek) but that is why God has put you two together. That together the two of you will reflect God’s love for his Church and his design for marriage.

Love & Respect

Remember that…

Let’s pray.