Roles in the Family

Introduction

We’ve defined the institution of family as God ordained.  He established the family for His glory and our good.  This means that marriage and family have clear and distinctive purposes according to God’s Word. 

We’ve learned that sin brings about dysfunction in that it is prohibitive toward the fulfilling of roles and purposes in God’s plan.  We’ve learned that Jesus frees us from the bondage and power of sin which oppresses and binds us.  He frees, empowers and enables us to accomplish and fulfill God’s plan and purpose. 

We’ve learned that we are to approach relationships, not with a contractual mindset, but rather a covenant mindset.  We’re going to do the right thing not based on whether others do, but because we want to honor God in doing the right thing. 

Today we hope to define and learn the Biblical roles within the family.  That as people we have trouble defining the roles is evident.  We’ve seen the gamut of extremes in the Ossie and Harriet home to Ossie Osbourne and his family.  Obviously we’ve missed God’s pattern.  Our intent is not to go back to the traditional family as defined by man, but rather look at the Creator’s plan and purpose for each of the ones that make up the family.  

The reason for this study is to help us find God’s pattern and apply it so that we can be a church full of families that honor God through obedience to His Word.  Although we are to understand our covenant mindset in relationship, we understand too that there are often conditional implications.  We are blessed in our relationships in family based upon the condition of obedience and applications of God’s Word.

To get us started we need to understand that any organization needs and operates with an organizational chart.  God’s word provides a chart for the family.  If I were to ask who was in charge or head of a team, what would your answer be?  What does that individual bring to the plate?  Who comes next?  In basketball, if you said coach you would be right.  Then the point guard who implements the instruction and leadership of the coach on the court.  Each has a role, and as long as the roles are defined and in place, the team was the greatest opportunity to rise to their potential.  So too is this the case with family.  Each has a role.  Not one is less important or more important than the other.  Each comes to the relationship to contribute and fulfill their role.  That is how family should work.  The problem is when we step out of our boundaries and try to crossover into an area that is clearly marked as belonging to another’s role description.

The Husband

1. There are multiple passages that define our position as head.  The husband/father is the top of the family flow chart.
2. Adam was to be head of the family.  His was this position by virtue of being first in creative order.
1. 1 Cor 11:7
2. 1 Timothy 2:13-14
3. Man as head; positional authority
1. Ephesians 5
2. Numbers 30:7-14
4. Man’s responsibility clearly defined.
1. Love your wives.
2. Ephesians 5:22-25
3. 1 Peter 3:5-7 Men are not to be embittered or irritated toward their wives.  πικραίνω 1 to make bitter. 1a to produce a bitter taste in the stomach. 2 to embitter. exasperate. 2a render angry, indignant. 2b to be embittered, irritated. 2c to visit with bitterness, to grieve (deal bitterly with)[1]

The Wife

1. She is second by order of creation.
2. She is to place herself under the head. 
3. A wife is to compliment and complete her husband.  She is to contribute in such a way that they fulfill their place in God’s purpose. 
1. ὑποτάσσω 1 to arrange under, to subordinate. 2 to subject, put in subjection. 3 to subject one’s self, obey. 4 to submit to one’s control. 5 to yield to one’s admonition or advice. 6 to obey, be subject. Additional Information: A Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions] in a miliary fashion under the command of a leader”. In non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden”.
2. Note that this is middle voice and shows that the wife is to be recognizing this as her place and contribution to their being a cohesive unit and team.
3. This isn’t a position of inferior in so much as worth of person or value before Christ is concerned.
4. Just as His blood was shed for men, so too for women and children.  We are all of equal worth or value when it comes to being heirs in Christ.
5. But we each have different roles to play; a different position.
6. Part of the curse in Genesis 3 indicates that this will be problematic as a result of the fall.

The Parents

1. The role of Parents is one of teachers and trainers.
2. Deuteronomy 6
3. Ephesians 6:1-4
4. Praise, Protect, Provide.
1. Praise them as well as admonish.
2. Protect them.
3. Provision of more than just daily sustenance.
4. Provision of training and discipline.
5. Provision of example.

The Children

1. The role of Children is one of learner. 
2. Submission without rebellion.
3. Teachable spirit.

----

[1]Strong, J. (1996). The exhaustive concordance of the Bible : Showing every word of the test of the common English version of the canonical books, and every occurence of each word in regular order. (electronic ed.) (G4087). Ontario: Woodside Bible Fellowship.